Wonkette
Stylish wordsmith Barack Obama had an op-ed in the New York Times last week, which is kind of a big deal. He could be the next David Brooks or Bill Kristol or even Maureen Dowd! So then Grampa Walnuts McCain was all, “Argghhh, I should get a column in the New York Times, I was tortured,” so the Times is all, “Okay, submit one, we guess?”
According to Drudge or where-ever he got this from, Op-Ed editor David Shipley cold rejected McCain’s submission because, instead of being an op-ed for the NYT, was just some rehashed campaign talking points against Obama.
NYT REJECTS MCCAIN’S EDITORIAL; SHOULD ‘MIRROR’ OBAMA [DRUDGE REPORT]
Read it. It’s not really a “rebuttal,” you liberal NYT you.
Sillies.
Maureen Dowd ghost-wrote it.
That is funny, since McCain hails from that era when politicians still wrote their own work. I understand he’s been hard at work on a riposte to Disraeli’s Vivian Grey since about 1830, so it’s not surprising that he wasn’t up to his best here.
NYT’s Shipley advised McCain to try again: ‘I’d be pleased, though, to look at another draft.’
Ouch.
They probably couldn’t read his shaky old-man handwriting.
“I find it ironic that he is emulating the worst mistake of the Bush administration by waving the �Mission Accomplished� banner prematurely”
See, Barack is just like Bush, because they’re both Muslimautocrats.
What doesn’t McCain suck at?
That “Hype” documentary (at the top of the Drudge page) looks fairly hilarious, by the way.
Who makes a four and a half minute trailer?
whiteasasheet:
frank rich sure didn’t.
Frank Rick wrote Obama’s
Uh-oh, I feel a “cunt” and “trollop” pop-out is due the NYT..
He should be keel-hauled for wearing that hat.
The New York Times
620 8th Avenue
New York, NY 10018
Re: Unsolicited manuscript
Dear Mr McCain,
We’re sorry, but this piece does not meet our current needs. We wish you luck with marketing it elsewhere.
Fuck you,
The Liberal Media
Then again, the New York Times just a couple of days ago ran a really dumb op-ed by William Fallon about how Iraqis and Americans should be all happy about the prospect of an indefinite occupation of that country (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/opinion/20fallon.html), so I don’t think McCain should feel so bad about being rejected by them.
Is this anything that every professor at the Naval Academy didn’t tell Mr. Fifth-From-Last In His Class?
Get in line, NYT.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Yeah, & they probably couldn’t scan in the Big Chief Tablet paper.
The only thing I’d be interested in reading is how the sly old dog figured out how to marry a booze heiress (booze no less) 20 years younger than him.
In defense of McCain, you try writing an editorial on a 1927 Smith Corona Typewriter during an arthritis flare up.
Everyone knows he had ghostwriters on all of his “books.” He should just hire someone to make sense of his senile ramblings and submit that.
Well sure he’s a cranky old bastard and he probably doesn’t write well, but when did bad writing ever keep anything out of the Times? Let the old guy rant. Where else are we supposed to get comedy material?
It was just a list of rambling non sequiturs on date rape, trollops and pongee sticks. Clearly he thought he was writing for the Post, where that sort of stuff plays well.
After all the sorry-ass bullshit masquerading as ‘informed comment’ that I’ve read in the NYT op-ed spreads over the years, I couldn’t imagine how egregiously awful McCain’s would have to be in order to get flat-out rejected.
As much as I don’t relish reading McCain’s “thoughts” on this or any other topic, I’ve gotta say it loud and proud: McCain’s ghostwriter is better than Billy Kristol’s ghostwriter.
If the NYT really wants a “lightning rod conservative,” let McCain pen the prose and put Kristol on the barn roof where he belongs. Win-win.
I’m feel tortured following this campaign. Do I get a column in the NYT now?
slavojzizek: Didn’t they shitcan Fallon because he didn’t want to strafe orphanages in Tehran?
Dear Walnuts,
Writing “All Torture and War makes a John a Dull Boy” 25000 times isn’t an opEd.
BTW, you must really suck large if you get rejected by the paper that keeps Kristol in Chicken Fried Steaks and Gravy.
Regards,
ManchuCandidate
He is a military wonk, he probably sent a power point presentation.
Maybe McCain purposely wrote it in such a way that the Times would reject him? That way it’ll make him appear more like an unemployed steel worker in Ohio who would also probably get an Op-Ed rejected by the Times. Kinda like how W supposedly talked like a normal person when he was the Governor of Texas and then turned into an illiterate dipshit the moment he announced his Presidency.
On the other hand, the Times did print McCain’s letter complaining about the discontinuing of Gasoline Alley, which was quite sporting of them, considering they don’t even have a comics page.
Biggest problem? McCain doesn’t understand subordinate clauses and conjunctions. Thus, he sounds like a 3rd grader. (My apologies to any third graders who read this and feel insulted… I would too.)
Don’t worry, Fox News will print it and both O’Reily and Hannity will read it verbatim on their shows just to “stick it to the liberal media.”
Huh, I would have bet money the Times wouldn’t have an editor that can read cuneiform.
With any other newspaper, I’d assume the rejection was due to, you know, editorial standards or some other antiquated notions of quality. Since it’s the New York Times, which specializes in publishing pompous gasbags, I think McCain should wear his rejection letter as a badge of honor.
jamescarmel: I don’t know, but the Visioneers trailer is like 3 and a half minutes of pure awesomeness.
As a middle school English teacher, I give it a “D-”. My sixth-grade girls who usually write about kittens could write a better op-ed about Iraq than WALNUTS did.
From a previous draft:
“Senator Obama is not good at bowling. When he bowls, he does not knock many pins down. If he does not knock many pins down, he will not have a high score. This is something I will not allow as President of the condo board, er, I mean, United States.”
The papyrus he inscribed it on may have been damaged in the mail.
loquaciousmusic: Those sixth-graders writing about kittens are probably all Obama-supporters anyway, and you’re just showing your LIEBRAL BIAS
Why the hell is Friedman’s shit still coming through?
“I am also dismayed that he never talks about winning the war—only of ending it. But if we don’t win the war, our enemies will.”
Maybe WALNUTS! could get his editorial printed if he actually DEFINED winning, Godammit!
What, he writes worse than Ernest Hemingway?
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: And you should never use a colon when a comma or semi-colon will do.
ReelectTilden: Stone tablets. No, wait…cave drawings.
Dear Mr. McCain –
Thank you for the submission of your editorial, “These Kids Today Are Disrespectful and Wear Funny Clothes.” Unfortunately we were hoping for something like a coherent rebuttal to Mr. Obama’s Iraq proposal, and your piece seems to be a rambling, stream-of-consciousness diatribe about your latest dental work, people who exceed the speed limit, how nobody writes songs like Hogy Carmichael anymore, and bunions. Which is excellent, but we were wondering if you could work something in about terrorists coming over here and messing with our women. And maybe the gays.
Thanks,
Times Editorial Board
jagorev: I wore an Obama t-shirt while teaching my summer school class the other day. So much for hiding my liberal bias!
I guess they figured the talking points were already covered by Kristol, so why bother?
RuperttheBear: But these are Republicans we’re talking about. Special rules apply whereby colons are used for everything.
sanantonerose: He may be pre-literate, reciting his op-eds in the Homeric tradition.
loquaciousmusic: Perhaps you were wearing it in a demonstration of irony? Oh, wait, that is a liberal concept. I’m assuming you don’t teach in South Cackalacky.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: I need the monitor squeegie now. Thanks.
It wasn’t his fault, entirely. Walnuts’ quill pen was low on walnut shell ink (no really, it exists: http://library.thinkquest.org/J002606/Quill.html)
uncletravelingmatt: <– AH! Colon! ::grins brightly:: <–AH! MORE OF THEM!
Hooray For Anything: W did speak more coherently as Governor of TX. But then again, my little pinkie toe could be the Governor of TX for all the work that that position entails.
ReelectTilden: Haw! 7 whore diamonds for you.
I guess the NYT figured out McCain’s op-ed piece was being ghost written by Sean Hanitty. The all-caps was a dead givaway.
RuperttheBear: Frequent use of the colon
is a Republican fundament(al).
Wow. Rejected by the same publication that runs Bill Kristol.
That’s harsh.
The “op-ed” he wrote is one long hack job on Obama… If Barack Obama had his way the United States would be Mexico’s northernmost state and we’d all be riding around on goats because gas would be $345 dollars per gallon…and so on.
whiteasasheet: No, she only tried to fuck him.
My understanding is that the op-ed was full of tortured syntax.
Silly A-rab New York Times, what they don’t know is that Meaghan McSame is the writer in the family, viz. http://www.mccainblogette.com/
“Blogette Playlist
Volume 14: Crazy, Sexy, Country”
POSTED BY MEGHAN
ON 06.11.08 12:20 AM
I freely admit that I have not always listened to country music. Mom prefers satanic rock and Jimmy Dorsey. But, recently, with the help of some of my friends who are redneck music fanatics (especially my roommate from Columbia - thank you grrl!) I have become an avid fan of white racist beebop and hoedown. Our recent trip to Nashville reignited my interest as well. Have you ever danced your ass off on moonshine and Ecstasy?! Here are some of my favorite hick songs. I hope you enjoy this mix and continue to submit your country music (and highway rest stop) suggestions!
Pssst! Senator!
Just have one of your lackeys copy and paste (how’s that computer literacy thing going, by the way?) a cranky old man editorial from The Onion.
It’ll be just as funny and cogent as anything you produce.
Also, he can tell the NYT to GET OFF HIS LAWN, or stop delivery to his lawn, whichevs.
sanantonerose: I have you know that being governor of TX requires GREAT HAIR (better than John Edwards hair). That’s what TX Gov. Rick Perry spends all his time doing–making sure he has GREAT HAIR (oh, & occasionally dissing the Mexicans, because if all the Mexicans really left you could kiss all the Mexican/Chinese/Denny’s/IHOP restaurants, roofing/framing/masonry companies, lawn mowing companies, janitorial services, border agents–um you get the point–goodbye!)
“Deareft New Amfterdam Times Readers,”
Texan Bulldoggette: Yes - look at Ann Richards. She looks like she is topped with whipped cream! Nom nom nom
wal(truck)nuts is just mixed up again. Sunni vs. Shia, Op-ed vs. letter to the editor.
Wait - WALNUTS! was in the Navy? Who knew?
Courtesy of the OED:
rebut, v.
- Law. To repel by counter-proof, refute (evidence, a charge, etc.). Hence in general use: To refute, disprove (any statement, theory, etc.).
- trans. To assail (a person) with violent language; to revile, rebuke, reproach. Obs.
I think I see what happened here.
Enough with the hats already Walnuts. We get it: you did time in a Vietnamese klinker. Jeesh, sharing cell time with Wun Hung Guy from Hanoi does not automatically qualify you as the buck stopper.
e is a hooker. He was said to have a personal account on a Luxury online service ***** M I L L M A T C H*****for successful and celebs singles with his hot pictures and blog there. Quite a few hot girls and ladies wrote to him.
Well,
I am somewhat torn between publicly insulting McCain on this board and feeling sorry for him and sending him a few cupcakes and bran muffins.
Shall we put my indecision to popular vote?
All in favor of insult type insult, all in favor of muffins type muffin.
Polls close today at 4:00
thank you my friends