Wonkette
That jabbering nitwit on Fox just signed a $100 million, five-year deal that will distribute his radio show through Citadel and Clear Channel networks. It’s significantly less than Rush Limbaugh’s recent $400 million, eight-year contract — but still, nothing to sneeze at. So what might Sean Hannity spend his truckloads of cash on?
- New ball gag and harness for Colmes
- An eight ball, a 60-pack of Hot Cheetos, and the collected straight-to-video works of Shannon Tweed
- Weekly fumigations of Fox News headquarters
- An organic farm in the Berkshires
- A subscription to the Wall Street Journal for every Wonkette reader so that we could send you to the original article, which is behind a paywall
And here is a video of Sean Hannity getting chased around New Hampshire by a mob of angry Paultards.
WSJ: Hannity inks $100 million deal
Unibrow waxings.
All the choirboys he can eat.
The feast of a 1000 fetuses.
That’s a whole lot of TRUCK NUTZ!
Thank God Sean Hannity now has the resources he needed to continue being a common ordinary EveryMan fighting against all the penniless Elitists of our society.
Was that a gang of Paultards, or drunk Wonkette operatives?
Either way, it was pretty damn funny.
Hannidate, because everyone else thinks your an asshole.
Guess he can finally pay for one of those Ruth’s Chris steaks instead of begging them free on the air. Personally I wouldn’t pay that asswipe $5 to shine my shoes.
Bypartizoa: Holy God, I said “your”. It must have been that brief trip to hannity.com.
Still not enough to buy a soul.
This is especially remarkable considering that Alan Colmes is still technically a Fox intern. They keep saying they’re going to hire him permanently, but then just give him an orange stapler instead.
I see platinum TRUCK NUTZ in Bill O’s future….
A dimple-maker..
“When worn over the cheeks two knobs soon make a fine set of dimples.”
Drugs, whores, gambling, of course. He may end up servicing the likes of Larry Craig at truck-stops.
Little boys. Lots and lots of little boys.
He should buy a new forehead or have his enlarged to something more than cro-magnon specifications.
Wow, he can be a charter member to donate to the Idiot’s Libary!
I know I shouldn’t ask this, but who the hell listens to these
hateful, historonic blowhards? To the tune of 100 gazillion? Jesus!
Hannity is a cunt, just like Cindy.
Not_So_Much: Ah yes, he’s far too pretty to mixing in with the rest of the encephalitic freaks on teh Fox. I refer to it as “the Forehead Channel.”
freakishlystrong:
not me. have never listened to rush l…not for a second.
barely know who hannity is, let alone where or how to see/listen
to him.
anyway, good question…but i’m afraid it has a very bad answer.
very bad.
Wow, that video makes Paultards look pretty damn awesome. Hell, if they’d beaten Hannity to a pulp I might have ditched Wonkette for the Ron Paul Forums forever.
tsunami: It just depresses the shit outta me that
these lying douches are making that kind of obscene scratch..I don’t know anyone
(’cept my DAD), who listens to that shit, but, they’re out there,
all over the “librul” media..they need to be marginalized and run off the
teevee, preferably with torches..
Forgiveness.
Neither of these bozoes deserves that much money. Who cares about either of them?
Nice clip; it’s got a mashup-like feel of both The Blair Witch Project and the torch-and-pitchfork scene from Young Frankenstein.
Finally, a white man gets what he deserves.
God bless America.
Hart88: Or a brain, or a heart. Or a clue.
I guess the best things in life really ARE free!
best.video.ever.
an official McCain 08 Butt Plug for every listener!
You know, after a lot of consideration, Paultards seem to be a bit annoying, don’t they?
hey Paultards you just chased Sean Hannity into a hotel, What are you going do now?
grobby22: TAKE BAKC THE CONSTITUTION!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!1!1!!!!!!
READ ATLAS SHRUGGED!!
RON PAUL 08
Things I love about that video:
The Paultard’s spontaneous “Fuck you Suck” chant. I’m tickled that they just have that one handy in their back pocket should the need arise. Screw this “Fired up Ready to Go” garbage. Many truck nutz to the Paultards for the best political chant of the season!
Sean Hannity’s cute blondacious intern showing the only set of truck nutz in the group by telling the Paultards to cut it out. Way to go, Sean. Let the girl bear the brunt of the angry villagers while you Stay Classy!
grobby22: Back to the basement for some fapping time.
grobby22: Come to think about, there aren’t many Paultards here in California, which I think is related to our lack of basements.
nbawriter: We would have had wittier signs.
that scene’s more depressing than the one in Sixteen Candles where all the virgin nerds are gathered in the boys’ bathroom, paying to see Molly Ringwald’s underwear.
oh, and real suave that Hannity and his friend left the girl to defend them from Paultard freaks.
Truculent: I would.
No tip, though.
$100 million for hannity? $400 million for rush? this obscenity gives capitalism a bad name. fyi, mein kampf made hitler extremely wealthy too. go figure.
Would it be unkind to suggest that this might explain why he doesn’t support taxing the top wage earners in this country? No, that’s probably got nothing to do with it. Never mind.
Pay him with Liberian $20’s
OTOH, $100 million dollars isn’t what it used to be. Hell, that’s like what, ¥50 now?
He could finally have Newt Gingrich’s penis removed from his mouth.
And he could buy his little puppet a new suit.
That shithead drives an Escalade…so maybe he should custom-weld four Escalades together…to make a Spectaclade. Then he can drive around America announcing (through the integrated 1,200 watt PA system)…”YEA I AM SEAN HANNITY…AND THIS IS MY VEHICLE…IT IS BIGGER THAN YOUR VEHICLE…I OBTAINED IT TROUGH DISTORTION AND MANIPULATION…I DISTORT AND MAIPULATE FOR MONEY…IF YOU THINK THIS IS EVIL YOU ARE A TERRORIST!” Damn fucking right Sean: you are an evil planetfucker..and God thinks so too; He is waiting for you and the meeting ain’t gonna be pretty shit-for-brains.
Unless it’s $100 million in gold bullion, it’ll be worthless soon enough.
LIBERATE TEH CONSTITUTION! R0N P4UL!!!1!
Obviously, God is dead, but we’ve known that for some time now.
Delicious: I know. The black man is SO DEFINITELY keeping the white man down in this country.
I would let Paultards follow me around and yell at me for $100 million. Just not too often.
grobby22: Go to DisneyWorld?
Isn’t that Angelina Jolie’s estranged Daddy by his side?
Is it any wonder why she said “bye, bye Daddy.”
I was going to snark, but all I can say is that somebody is going to pay that fucktard life-support system for a bad haircut $100 million?
I need a drink.
I need a lot of drinks.
JSDC007: Yes, it’s Jon Voight & LeAnn Rimes (country singer who sued her Daddy). I’m really pretty speechless at the combination of people in that picture. But I do wonder who is grabbing who’s ass….
Bypartizoa: Now there’s an idea: hannidate.com! He’ll be the Roman Hruska of online dating, providing mediocre services for mediocre people. You, sir, are a genius!
he’s a gonna git himself a U-kranian hooker and a bucket o blow!