rich guys

Sean Hannity Becomes A Hundred-Millionaire!

This explains why Angelina Jolie is a liberal.That jabbering nitwit on Fox just signed a $100 million, five-year deal that will distribute his radio show through Citadel and Clear Channel networks. It’s significantly less than Rush Limbaugh’s recent $400 million, eight-year contract — but still, nothing to sneeze at. So what might Sean Hannity spend his truckloads of cash on?

  • New ball gag and harness for Colmes
  • An eight ball, a 60-pack of Hot Cheetos, and the collected straight-to-video works of Shannon Tweed
  • Weekly fumigations of Fox News headquarters
  • An organic farm in the Berkshires
  • A subscription to the Wall Street Journal for every Wonkette reader so that we could send you to the original article, which is behind a paywall

And here is a video of Sean Hannity getting chased around New Hampshire by a mob of angry Paultards.

WSJ: Hannity inks $100 million deal

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

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1 comment

  1. EnBuenOra

    Thank God Sean Hannity now has the resources he needed to continue being a common ordinary EveryMan fighting against all the penniless Elitists of our society.

  2. nbawriter

    Was that a gang of Paultards, or drunk Wonkette operatives?

    Either way, it was pretty damn funny.

  3. Truculent

    Guess he can finally pay for one of those Ruth’s Chris steaks instead of begging them free on the air. Personally I wouldn’t pay that asswipe $5 to shine my shoes.

  4. Bypartizoa

    [re=40134]Bypartizoa[/re]: Holy God, I said “your”. It must have been that brief trip to hannity.com.

  5. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    This is especially remarkable considering that Alan Colmes is still technically a Fox intern. They keep saying they’re going to hire him permanently, but then just give him an orange stapler instead.

  6. zhubajie

    Drugs, whores, gambling, of course. He may end up servicing the likes of Larry Craig at truck-stops.

  7. Not_So_Much

    He should buy a new forehead or have his enlarged to something more than cro-magnon specifications.

  8. freakishlystrong

    Wow, he can be a charter member to donate to the Idiot’s Libary!
    I know I shouldn’t ask this, but who the hell listens to these
    hateful, historonic blowhards? To the tune of 100 gazillion? Jesus!

  9. sanantonerose

    [re=40149]Not_So_Much[/re]: Ah yes, he’s far too pretty to mixing in with the rest of the encephalitic freaks on teh Fox. I refer to it as “the Forehead Channel.”

  10. tsunami

    [re=40151]freakishlystrong[/re]:

    not me. have never listened to rush l…not for a second.
    barely know who hannity is, let alone where or how to see/listen
    to him.

    anyway, good question…but i’m afraid it has a very bad answer.
    very bad.

  11. Paultardville

    Wow, that video makes Paultards look pretty damn awesome. Hell, if they’d beaten Hannity to a pulp I might have ditched Wonkette for the Ron Paul Forums forever.

  12. freakishlystrong

    [re=40158]tsunami[/re]: It just depresses the shit outta me that
    these lying douches are making that kind of obscene scratch..I don’t know anyone
    (‘cept my DAD), who listens to that shit, but, they’re out there,
    all over the “librul” media..they need to be marginalized and run off the
    teevee, preferably with torches..

  13. FreshCliches

    Nice clip; it’s got a mashup-like feel of both The Blair Witch Project and the torch-and-pitchfork scene from Young Frankenstein.

  14. georgia_peach

    [re=40139]Hart88[/re]: Or a brain, or a heart. Or a clue.

    I guess the best things in life really ARE free!

  15. shortsshortsshorts

    You know, after a lot of consideration, Paultards seem to be a bit annoying, don’t they?

  16. FreshCliches

    [re=40222]grobby22[/re]: TAKE BAKC THE CONSTITUTION!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!1!1!!!!!!

    READ ATLAS SHRUGGED!!

    RON PAUL 08

  17. populucious

    Things I love about that video:

    The Paultard’s spontaneous “Fuck you Suck” chant. I’m tickled that they just have that one handy in their back pocket should the need arise. Screw this “Fired up Ready to Go” garbage. Many truck nutz to the Paultards for the best political chant of the season!

    Sean Hannity’s cute blondacious intern showing the only set of truck nutz in the group by telling the Paultards to cut it out. Way to go, Sean. Let the girl bear the brunt of the angry villagers while you Stay Classy!

  18. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=40222]grobby22[/re]: Come to think about, there aren’t many Paultards here in California, which I think is related to our lack of basements.

  19. In a Jar

    that scene’s more depressing than the one in Sixteen Candles where all the virgin nerds are gathered in the boys’ bathroom, paying to see Molly Ringwald’s underwear.

    oh, and real suave that Hannity and his friend left the girl to defend them from Paultard freaks.

  20. bunnyhead

    $100 million for hannity? $400 million for rush? this obscenity gives capitalism a bad name. fyi, mein kampf made hitler extremely wealthy too. go figure.

  21. masterdebater

    Would it be unkind to suggest that this might explain why he doesn’t support taxing the top wage earners in this country? No, that’s probably got nothing to do with it. Never mind.

  22. lumpenprole

    OTOH, $100 million dollars isn’t what it used to be. Hell, that’s like what, ¥50 now?

  23. RobPetrified

    He could finally have Newt Gingrich’s penis removed from his mouth.
    And he could buy his little puppet a new suit.

  24. Q2

    That shithead drives an Escalade…so maybe he should custom-weld four Escalades together…to make a Spectaclade. Then he can drive around America announcing (through the integrated 1,200 watt PA system)…”YEA I AM SEAN HANNITY…AND THIS IS MY VEHICLE…IT IS BIGGER THAN YOUR VEHICLE…I OBTAINED IT TROUGH DISTORTION AND MANIPULATION…I DISTORT AND MAIPULATE FOR MONEY…IF YOU THINK THIS IS EVIL YOU ARE A TERRORIST!” Damn fucking right Sean: you are an evil planetfucker..and God thinks so too; He is waiting for you and the meeting ain’t gonna be pretty shit-for-brains.

  25. ReelectTilden

    Unless it’s $100 million in gold bullion, it’ll be worthless soon enough.

    LIBERATE TEH CONSTITUTION! R0N P4UL!!!1!

  26. loquaciousmusic

    [re=40201]Delicious[/re]: I know. The black man is SO DEFINITELY keeping the white man down in this country.

  27. Aurelio

    I would let Paultards follow me around and yell at me for $100 million. Just not too often.

  28. JSDC007

    Isn’t that Angelina Jolie’s estranged Daddy by his side?

    Is it any wonder why she said “bye, bye Daddy.”

  29. FMA

    I was going to snark, but all I can say is that somebody is going to pay that fucktard life-support system for a bad haircut $100 million?
    I need a drink.
    I need a lot of drinks.

  30. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=40433]JSDC007[/re]: Yes, it’s Jon Voight & LeAnn Rimes (country singer who sued her Daddy). I’m really pretty speechless at the combination of people in that picture. But I do wonder who is grabbing who’s ass….

  31. Joey Ratz

    [re=40134]Bypartizoa[/re]: Now there’s an idea: hannidate.com! He’ll be the Roman Hruska of online dating, providing mediocre services for mediocre people. You, sir, are a genius!

Comments are closed.