RICH GUYS  10:46 am July 21, 2008

Sean Hannity Becomes A Hundred-Millionaire!

by Sara K. Smith

This explains why Angelina Jolie is a liberal.That jabbering nitwit on Fox just signed a $100 million, five-year deal that will distribute his radio show through Citadel and Clear Channel networks. It’s significantly less than Rush Limbaugh’s recent $400 million, eight-year contract — but still, nothing to sneeze at. So what might Sean Hannity spend his truckloads of cash on?

  • New ball gag and harness for Colmes
  • An eight ball, a 60-pack of Hot Cheetos, and the collected straight-to-video works of Shannon Tweed
  • Weekly fumigations of Fox News headquarters
  • An organic farm in the Berkshires
  • A subscription to the Wall Street Journal for every Wonkette reader so that we could send you to the original article, which is behind a paywall

And here is a video of Sean Hannity getting chased around New Hampshire by a mob of angry Paultards.

WSJ: Hannity inks $100 million deal

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 52 comments }

ManchuCandidate July 21, 2008 at 10:50 am

Unibrow waxings.

All the choirboys he can eat.

The feast of a 1000 fetuses.

jagorev July 21, 2008 at 10:51 am

That’s a whole lot of TRUCK NUTZ!

EnBuenOra July 21, 2008 at 10:51 am

Thank God Sean Hannity now has the resources he needed to continue being a common ordinary EveryMan fighting against all the penniless Elitists of our society.

nbawriter July 21, 2008 at 10:52 am

Was that a gang of Paultards, or drunk Wonkette operatives?

Either way, it was pretty damn funny.

Bypartizoa July 21, 2008 at 10:52 am

Hannidate, because everyone else thinks your an asshole.

Truculent July 21, 2008 at 10:53 am

Guess he can finally pay for one of those Ruth’s Chris steaks instead of begging them free on the air. Personally I wouldn’t pay that asswipe $5 to shine my shoes.

Bypartizoa July 21, 2008 at 10:54 am

[re=40134]Bypartizoa[/re]: Holy God, I said “your”. It must have been that brief trip to hannity.com.

Hart88 July 21, 2008 at 10:57 am

Still not enough to buy a soul.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 21, 2008 at 11:00 am

This is especially remarkable considering that Alan Colmes is still technically a Fox intern. They keep saying they’re going to hire him permanently, but then just give him an orange stapler instead.

msvainfl July 21, 2008 at 11:01 am

I see platinum TRUCK NUTZ in Bill O’s future….

sanantonerose July 21, 2008 at 11:02 am

A dimple-maker..

“When worn over the cheeks two knobs soon make a fine set of dimples.”

zhubajie July 21, 2008 at 11:04 am

Drugs, whores, gambling, of course. He may end up servicing the likes of Larry Craig at truck-stops.

AxmxZ July 21, 2008 at 11:07 am

Little boys. Lots and lots of little boys.

Not_So_Much July 21, 2008 at 11:09 am

He should buy a new forehead or have his enlarged to something more than cro-magnon specifications.

freakishlystrong July 21, 2008 at 11:11 am

Wow, he can be a charter member to donate to the Idiot’s Libary!
I know I shouldn’t ask this, but who the hell listens to these
hateful, historonic blowhards? To the tune of 100 gazillion? Jesus!

kudzu July 21, 2008 at 11:15 am

Hannity is a cunt, just like Cindy.

sanantonerose July 21, 2008 at 11:16 am

[re=40149]Not_So_Much[/re]: Ah yes, he’s far too pretty to mixing in with the rest of the encephalitic freaks on teh Fox. I refer to it as “the Forehead Channel.”

tsunami July 21, 2008 at 11:17 am

[re=40151]freakishlystrong[/re]:

not me. have never listened to rush l…not for a second.
barely know who hannity is, let alone where or how to see/listen
to him.

anyway, good question…but i’m afraid it has a very bad answer.
very bad.

Paultardville July 21, 2008 at 11:17 am

Wow, that video makes Paultards look pretty damn awesome. Hell, if they’d beaten Hannity to a pulp I might have ditched Wonkette for the Ron Paul Forums forever.

freakishlystrong July 21, 2008 at 11:30 am

[re=40158]tsunami[/re]: It just depresses the shit outta me that
these lying douches are making that kind of obscene scratch..I don’t know anyone
(‘cept my DAD), who listens to that shit, but, they’re out there,
all over the “librul” media..they need to be marginalized and run off the
teevee, preferably with torches..

MoodProcessor July 21, 2008 at 11:36 am

Forgiveness.

thefrontpage July 21, 2008 at 11:42 am

Neither of these bozoes deserves that much money. Who cares about either of them?

FreshCliches July 21, 2008 at 11:52 am

Nice clip; it’s got a mashup-like feel of both The Blair Witch Project and the torch-and-pitchfork scene from Young Frankenstein.

Delicious July 21, 2008 at 12:03 pm

Finally, a white man gets what he deserves.

God bless America.

georgia_peach July 21, 2008 at 12:03 pm

[re=40139]Hart88[/re]: Or a brain, or a heart. Or a clue.

I guess the best things in life really ARE free!

nougatmaster July 21, 2008 at 12:04 pm

best.video.ever.

pierce bottoms July 21, 2008 at 12:04 pm

an official McCain 08 Butt Plug for every listener!

shortsshortsshorts July 21, 2008 at 12:15 pm

You know, after a lot of consideration, Paultards seem to be a bit annoying, don’t they?

grobby22 July 21, 2008 at 12:20 pm

hey Paultards you just chased Sean Hannity into a hotel, What are you going do now?

FreshCliches July 21, 2008 at 12:22 pm

[re=40222]grobby22[/re]: TAKE BAKC THE CONSTITUTION!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!1!1!!!!!!

READ ATLAS SHRUGGED!!

RON PAUL 08

populucious July 21, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Things I love about that video:

The Paultard’s spontaneous “Fuck you Suck” chant. I’m tickled that they just have that one handy in their back pocket should the need arise. Screw this “Fired up Ready to Go” garbage. Many truck nutz to the Paultards for the best political chant of the season!

Sean Hannity’s cute blondacious intern showing the only set of truck nutz in the group by telling the Paultards to cut it out. Way to go, Sean. Let the girl bear the brunt of the angry villagers while you Stay Classy!

shortsshortsshorts July 21, 2008 at 12:25 pm

[re=40222]grobby22[/re]: Back to the basement for some fapping time.

shortsshortsshorts July 21, 2008 at 12:26 pm

[re=40222]grobby22[/re]: Come to think about, there aren’t many Paultards here in California, which I think is related to our lack of basements.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 21, 2008 at 12:35 pm

[re=40133]nbawriter[/re]: We would have had wittier signs.

In a Jar July 21, 2008 at 12:35 pm

that scene’s more depressing than the one in Sixteen Candles where all the virgin nerds are gathered in the boys’ bathroom, paying to see Molly Ringwald’s underwear.

oh, and real suave that Hannity and his friend left the girl to defend them from Paultard freaks.

donner_froh July 21, 2008 at 12:36 pm

[re=40135]Truculent[/re]: I would.
No tip, though.

bunnyhead July 21, 2008 at 12:56 pm

$100 million for hannity? $400 million for rush? this obscenity gives capitalism a bad name. fyi, mein kampf made hitler extremely wealthy too. go figure.

masterdebater July 21, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Would it be unkind to suggest that this might explain why he doesn’t support taxing the top wage earners in this country? No, that’s probably got nothing to do with it. Never mind.

tonashideska July 21, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Pay him with Liberian $20′s

lumpenprole July 21, 2008 at 1:09 pm

OTOH, $100 million dollars isn’t what it used to be. Hell, that’s like what, ¥50 now?

RobPetrified July 21, 2008 at 1:17 pm

He could finally have Newt Gingrich’s penis removed from his mouth.
And he could buy his little puppet a new suit.

Q2 July 21, 2008 at 1:20 pm

That shithead drives an Escalade…so maybe he should custom-weld four Escalades together…to make a Spectaclade. Then he can drive around America announcing (through the integrated 1,200 watt PA system)…”YEA I AM SEAN HANNITY…AND THIS IS MY VEHICLE…IT IS BIGGER THAN YOUR VEHICLE…I OBTAINED IT TROUGH DISTORTION AND MANIPULATION…I DISTORT AND MAIPULATE FOR MONEY…IF YOU THINK THIS IS EVIL YOU ARE A TERRORIST!” Damn fucking right Sean: you are an evil planetfucker..and God thinks so too; He is waiting for you and the meeting ain’t gonna be pretty shit-for-brains.

ReelectTilden July 21, 2008 at 1:20 pm

Unless it’s $100 million in gold bullion, it’ll be worthless soon enough.

LIBERATE TEH CONSTITUTION! R0N P4UL!!!1!

TGY July 21, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Obviously, God is dead, but we’ve known that for some time now.

loquaciousmusic July 21, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=40201]Delicious[/re]: I know. The black man is SO DEFINITELY keeping the white man down in this country.

Aurelio July 21, 2008 at 1:39 pm

I would let Paultards follow me around and yell at me for $100 million. Just not too often.

sanantonerose July 21, 2008 at 1:47 pm

[re=40222]grobby22[/re]: Go to DisneyWorld?

JSDC007 July 21, 2008 at 2:40 pm

Isn’t that Angelina Jolie’s estranged Daddy by his side?

Is it any wonder why she said “bye, bye Daddy.”

FMA July 21, 2008 at 2:54 pm

I was going to snark, but all I can say is that somebody is going to pay that fucktard life-support system for a bad haircut $100 million?
I need a drink.
I need a lot of drinks.

Texan Bulldoggette July 21, 2008 at 3:19 pm

[re=40433]JSDC007[/re]: Yes, it’s Jon Voight & LeAnn Rimes (country singer who sued her Daddy). I’m really pretty speechless at the combination of people in that picture. But I do wonder who is grabbing who’s ass….

Joey Ratz July 21, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=40134]Bypartizoa[/re]: Now there’s an idea: hannidate.com! He’ll be the Roman Hruska of online dating, providing mediocre services for mediocre people. You, sir, are a genius!

mrtrailsafety July 22, 2008 at 5:56 pm

he’s a gonna git himself a U-kranian hooker and a bucket o blow!

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