BAD TIME TO GO ON VACATION  9:16 am July 21, 2008

South Carolina State Senator Posts Dumb Anti-Obama Tee Shirt Pic On His Blog

by Sara K. Smith

Have you heard the one about how this word that sounds like another word?Oh Lordy be. Whenever there’s a slow news cycle, we need only look to our friends in South Carolina for a little pick-me-up. Here’s a bit of hilarity from State Senator Kevin Bryant, who put up this post a few days ago. Judging from the URL and one of the comments, it was originally titled “vacation and funny picture.” Now it’s been changed to just “picture” because apparently SOME PEOPLE CAN’T TAKE A JOKE. [Senator Kevin Bryant via Snead]

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Hart88 July 21, 2008 at 9:20 am

Stay classy, South Carolina.

sanantonerose July 21, 2008 at 9:23 am

Kevin Bryant’s page header needs more Kevin Bryant name-branding.

slavojzizek July 21, 2008 at 9:25 am

It’s a satire, people, a satire. Can’t anyone take a joke?

Brutus Harlot July 21, 2008 at 9:26 am

It’s sarcasm. He’s pointing out the idiocy of all the political t-shirts in this campaign.

Deepthroat July 21, 2008 at 9:26 am

I suspect the “Backbench” is some kind of insider slang for the Power-bottom Caucus…

Terry July 21, 2008 at 9:26 am

You know, there ARE actually intelligent people in SC but they are so appalled by the other folks that they are at a loss for words.

PoliticalGraffiti July 21, 2008 at 9:28 am

i always find it embarrassing for them when republicans try to be clever

eyesfriedopen July 21, 2008 at 9:28 am

Bryant vacationed at the flea market?

eyesfriedopen July 21, 2008 at 9:31 am

btw, that campaign photo of Bryant sends my gaydar into the red zone, bottom region. Is there a pool on how long until he’s caught soliciting schoolboys at the county fair?

tsunami July 21, 2008 at 9:34 am

jeebus…first chip pickering, now this guy.

i mean, are all these republican dickheads cast from the same mold?
are they cousins, barely removed?

they’re all from omega house, evidentally.
where the fukk is blutto when you need him?

ManchuCandidate July 21, 2008 at 9:38 am

Poor guy’s probably covering up some past foot tapping incidents.

FMA July 21, 2008 at 9:40 am

Looking at the guy’s photo makes me think that someone’s mom didn’t stop drinking when she was knocked up.

kudzu July 21, 2008 at 9:42 am

[re=40087]Terry[/re]: Really? The ones I’ve met have moved elsewhere.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 21, 2008 at 9:44 am

And the difference between Senator Bryant and Corky Thacher is, well apparently there is no difference.

sanantonerose July 21, 2008 at 9:49 am

That boy does have hisself some apple cheeks, don’t he?

*pinch pinch*

4tehlulz July 21, 2008 at 9:51 am

This is the New Yorker’s cover for next month.

Scrodd July 21, 2008 at 9:55 am

sanantonerose – that’s caused by one too many trips to the moonshine still/outhouse with his mother.

Servo July 21, 2008 at 9:55 am

Never to break with tradition, Southern Repubs will invariably elect the closet cockaholic that looks like a game show host.

Serolf Divad July 21, 2008 at 9:59 am

I don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong, I totally agree with the message of how dangerous this man is to our Christian nation, but I’m just worried that The New Yorker‘s sophisticated readers will think the t-shirt is a satire of right-wing views of Obama.

Deepthroat July 21, 2008 at 9:59 am

of course, he is a christian home ‘skoolin, church camp leader who enjoys yardwork (wtf?!) and enjoying God’s creation… and then mowing it down and stuffing it in a bag for the wednesday trash pickup

BobLoblawLawBlog July 21, 2008 at 10:06 am

[re=40104]Servo[/re]: Thank you for elucidating my innermost thoughts on Dubya. Oh, and he’s a blow monkey too.

pondscum July 21, 2008 at 10:07 am

[re=40100]sanantonerose[/re]: It’s like all of his facial features got smushed into the center of his face. That’s a fivehead if I’ve ever seen one.

S. Cullen Bonz July 21, 2008 at 10:10 am

I thought it said “Blog from the Back Door”

John Vierdsen July 21, 2008 at 10:13 am

I saw this a few days ago and just dismissed it as another S.C. sideshow. Guess what passes as the usual here is considered batshit crazy everywhere else.

gurukalehuru July 21, 2008 at 10:21 am

…and the only difference between Kevin Bryant and Mark Foley is that they both like sucking off little boys.

carerer July 21, 2008 at 10:33 am

The picture of Senetor Bryant is the most hilarious. See why:

glamourdammerung July 21, 2008 at 10:45 am

What is the difference between State Senator Kevin Bryant and Senator Larry Craig?

Getting caught.

AxmxZ July 21, 2008 at 10:57 am

The “Backbench,” for those not familiar with the BDSM scene in Anderson, SC, is a pedo club.

RuperttheBear July 21, 2008 at 10:57 am

Those are capital letters. They’re BIG.

nbawriter July 21, 2008 at 11:03 am

Every time Sen. Bryant does something douchey, an aborted fetus is planted in his cheeks.

That’s a lot of douchebaggery, Senator.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 21, 2008 at 11:08 am

It’s the state legislature, people! In case you’ve never followed the happenings at your local statehouse, I’ll sum it up for you:

A group of about a dozen Boss Hog-esque, slave-owning fatsos handpick the most execrable law school graduates from the arse-holiest dirt patches in your particular state. They then run either unopposed or against the local militant vegan crank and win 99% of the vote because no one under 70 ever shows up for those random local election days. The aforementioned legislators then proceed to spend the next 30 years giving road contracts to their favorite assholes and passing symbolic anti-abortion resolutions. Democracy in Action!

sanantonerose July 21, 2008 at 11:11 am

[re=40106]Deepthroat[/re]: I have a theory about people who enjoy “yardwork.”

Not_So_Much July 21, 2008 at 11:13 am

Are they still technically even a state? I thought we decided to let them have their stupid confederate flag and secede?

Later, when they’re drunk on a blend of moonshine and the heady power of fresh slavery, we can invade them too! Yay!

Servo July 21, 2008 at 11:14 am

[re=40148]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]:
…and that’s just scratching the surface.

Godless Liberal * July 21, 2008 at 11:31 am

[re=40087]Terry[/re]: Just my wife and me. And we are frequently left speechless.

sati demise July 21, 2008 at 11:45 am

On the back it reads:

Are they brothers

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 21, 2008 at 11:46 am

South Carolina has the largest standing army in the world. We can’t let them secede or they’d invade Georgia and enslave half of metropolitan Atlanta.

obfuscator July 21, 2008 at 11:52 am

Senator Bryant’s face offends me so much more than the t-shirt does.

WhatTheHeck July 21, 2008 at 11:55 am

Does the button at top right say “Blog from the backdoor?”

Elitist Republican Tard July 21, 2008 at 11:59 am

Hmm, based on the banner pic of Sen. Bryant, he is:

1. 134 feet tall
2. straddling the confederate flag that stands in front of the SC capitol in Columbia

FreshCliches July 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm

Any chance that this guy is the spawn of Anita?

Elitist Republican Tard July 21, 2008 at 12:13 pm

If South Carolina secedes from the United States, will we still call it the STATE house?

shortsshortsshorts July 21, 2008 at 12:16 pm


Yes. I did buy that belt buckle at a garage sale in Bishop, CA last month.

And it will.

graceless July 21, 2008 at 12:47 pm

Tacky, snarky, yes, yes. Also funny. I wouldn’t wear it, but I would point and laugh at those who did.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland July 21, 2008 at 12:50 pm

From Kevinboy’s campaign site: “The Bryants attend Concord Community Church, a non-denominational New Testament fellowship, where Kevin serves as deacon and treasurer. In addition, Kevin commits one week each year to serve as activities director at Camp Hope, a Christian youth camp.”

I thought I recognized that chubby blond face…Kevin used to, well, it was years ago and Camp Hope had a different name back then, but let’s just say Kevin sure knew how to blow the jade flute real good. Growing up…his family ran the hog farm, my daddy had the milk stand down the road…Kevin liked to play doctor with some of us Boy Scouts in the church rec room.

p.s. He loved to dress up in white robes, just like his mentor Osamabama.

masterdebater July 21, 2008 at 1:11 pm

It’s a complete mystery to me why 1 out of 8 Americans still believe Barry is a Muslim. The wingnuts do not stoop to pandering to fear. Oh, wait…

RooseveltFranklin July 21, 2008 at 1:25 pm

He is clearly the love child of Howdy Doody and Bob’s Big Boy.

loquaciousmusic July 21, 2008 at 1:27 pm

[re=40262]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: “In addition, Kevin commits one week each year to serve as activities director at Camp Hope, a Christian youth camp.”

Jesus H. Christ, could anything be more pederasty and creepy than that?

I, ______________________, have elected to run as a Republican senator in the state of __________________. By signing this contract, I guarantee that I will:

1) Start a blog, even though I have heretofore only used the Internet to download shirtless pictures of teenage boys on MySpace;
2) Post racist photographs linking major political figures to terrorists because it’s “funny”;
3) Wear rouge;
4) Accept a job as an “activities director” at a local Christian youth camp in order to facilitate easy access to the previously-mentioned teenage boys (including in hot, sweaty cabins; steamy shower rooms; and dark, leafy wooded areas);
5) Employ my own variation of the “Donald Trump Comb Over Method”;
6) “Mistake” my wife’s butthole for her vajayjay;
7) Vote for John McCain.

Signed this ______ day of ___________________ 20____.

tonashideska July 21, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Clearly this guy is Lindsey Graham’s lover

ReelectTilden July 21, 2008 at 1:28 pm

[re=40106]Deepthroat[/re]: Republicans do yard work? I thought they just hired Mexicans.

ReelectTilden July 21, 2008 at 1:29 pm

[re=40262]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: Grover Cleveland’s bastard son = best user name ever.

Not_So_Much July 21, 2008 at 1:35 pm

[re=40177]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: True. But it *is* an army of South Carolinians. Couldn’t you just stage a Nascar race and defeat them while they’re all in one place shirtless and drunk on Bud Premium?

bernadette July 21, 2008 at 1:58 pm

Thanks for all the laughs everyone, truly making my day at work easier.

Yes, American tax dollars at work.

Oscar Folsom Cleveland July 21, 2008 at 2:01 pm

[re=40321]ReelectTilden[/re]: Oh no, my dear colleague, ’tis “Reelect Tilden” what is best user name! Damn Florida, Louisiana, and South Carolina! Damn the Compromise of 1877! Huzzah, “Centennial Sam” Tilden!

kentuckienne2 July 21, 2008 at 2:09 pm

[re=40097]kudzu[/re]: Some of them, like my relatives, get stuck there after they get tenure. But then they pick up southern accents and a taste for sweet tea and bitching about temperatures lower than 60 degrees. In my opinion, SC is like the Borg.

congressman hammer July 21, 2008 at 2:14 pm

[re=40213]Elitist Republican Tard[/re]: “If South Carolina secedes from the United States, will we still call it the STATE house?”

Of course not, you godless carpetbagger. Then we’ll call it a church.

ReelectTilden July 21, 2008 at 2:35 pm

[re=40363]Oscar Folsom Cleveland[/re]: Indeed: why is it always Florida? Down with Rutherfraud Hayes!

edoublep July 21, 2008 at 2:59 pm

The picture is down! HAHAH!

Snead July 21, 2008 at 5:55 pm

Fear not, ignorance always comes back! Looks like the senator’s blog handlers wanted to swipe a few comments off. Apparently dropping the F-bomb is more offensive than his tshirt…

DP July 21, 2008 at 6:28 pm

I can sympathize; sometimes I get the feeling that some of these brain muffins don’t understand that the internet is ubiquitous and universal and that everything you post can be seen by everyone, even Obama luvin, fist bumpin, neo-muslim, pinko, NY liberal Jews…On the other hand, with all the Filipino boy porn this guy has undoubtedly down-loaded, I’d say he should know his way around the tubes by now…

Snead July 21, 2008 at 6:53 pm
philside92 July 21, 2008 at 6:53 pm

he looks like a man with a wide stance.

mookworthjwilson July 21, 2008 at 9:25 pm

[re=40705]Snead[/re]: I know…mine got removed :(

HannahKay July 21, 2008 at 9:31 pm

The Democrat running against this guy is Marshall Meadors. You can donate to him at I met him at a recent event and he was a really nice guy. We should really step up to support him and kick this bonehead out of the SC Senate. In this same district, Jane Dyer is running for US Congress as the Dem opponent of Gresham Barrett and needs your support as well. Her website is

Miller July 22, 2008 at 12:09 pm

From the state that brought us the Civil War and keeps on giving: the stupid crops are in. South Carolina had a banner harvest!!

Nico Pitney had a nice interview with him over at Huffington Post. It was able to capture the hemming and hawing, but not the flop sweat and head to table banging that he must have been engaged in.

Packherd July 22, 2008 at 10:04 pm

Let’s note Dude’s slogan is “Blog From the Backbench.” Sidestepping the fact that U.S. legislatures don’t have backbenches, Dude’s not even mainstream SOUTH CAROLINA GOP. South Fucking Carolina. They started the Civil War, that’s how conservative they are. And Dude’s not even really welcome in THAT circle. Yikes.

concerned citizen July 23, 2008 at 6:59 pm

Interesting thing I found on the Hill — here’s Senator Bryant’s cell phone and the number to his pharmacy…I tried to leave four comments on his website, but dontcha know, he doesn’t post the comments that are logical and liberal (I guess he doesn’t “speak” logic); this is how he maintains his constituents’ view that liberals are all as bad as his version of conservatives (rude, name-calling, immature and uniformed ignorants). Maybe reading is a sin down on the holler? Bigot. He is an outrage to the people of SC.

Kevin Bryant! Mobile: (864) 202-8394; or at Bryant Pharmacy and Supply in Anderson: (800) 256-8011 or (864) 224-6017.

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