Wonkette
We sent our Liz Glover and Jim Newell to the Reason happy hour/cocktail party that the Reason staff has every month to celebrate putting out their monthly issue. And then we waited for the funny report, and the fun video, but it never showed up, so we will just run this transcript that seems to cover what did or didn’t happen. It’s the “new journalism.”
Jim N.
so last night Liz and i went to the Reason Happy Hour and it was pretty much a horrible failure, because we were late and Matt Welch had left and couldn’t give me dirt on you, for blackmail. but…
Jim N.
i was talking to ol’ dave weigel and this huge 300 pound guy in a suit and baseball hat, a mouth breather, comes over and starts talking to dave…
Ken L.
drew carey?
Jim N.
and then weigel says, obviously struggling with how to introduce me, “jim, this is… someone who works with ron paul”
Ken L.
nobody can give you anything for blackmail. i’ve posted every “bad” thing I’ve ever done, on the internet, and half of it’s made up.
Ken L.
hahahah
Ken L.
weigel’s boyfriend?
Jul 17
5:25 PM
Jim N.
and i was scared he would eat me if i said anything more, and ran for alcohol
Jul 17
5:25 PM
Jim N.
the end.
Ken L.
Jim N.
there’s nothing more depressing than hearing libertarians, even the non-fringe ones, discuss the election
Jim N.
there is just nothing going for them in it
Jim N.
big government conservative vs. big government liberal
Jim N.
so they bitch and bitch and bitch
Ken L.
Ken L.
but there was NEVER anything for libertarians in a presidential election
Jim N.
true, but it seems clearer now than ever
Ken L.
i mean, i guess 1980, but there were only seven libertarians then.
Ken L.
was there anybody interesting at the reason party or did you get there so late you wouldn’t know?
Jim N.
it seems that the republican party is having to openly abandon any pretense toward cutting government… it doesn’t work at all, ever
Jim N.
no, no one interesting
Ken L.
Jim N.
we talked to gillespie for like 5 seconds, because he was for some reason not wanting to talk to us
Ken L.
hates you?
Jim N.
it was strange! he sent me an e-mail a couple months ago saying that he really liked my stuff and hoped i’d show up for some of their parties. so i finally go to one, and re-introduce myself, and he exchanges pleasantries and goes away pretty quickly.
Jul 17
5:30 PM
Jim N.
otherwise i just met some fat kid who writes for the [REDACTED], and i hope i never have to talk to him again
Ken L.
Ken L.
gillespie probably wanted to talk to sexy libertarian womens rather than you.
Ken L.
Jim N.
he was definitely doing that. he had on like a hawaiian shirt that was black and silver
Ken L.
yeah he’s terrible
Ken L.
Jul 17
5:35 PM
Ken L.
you KNOW you love these arts!
Jim N.
i made them
Ken L.
i know that
Ken L.
so, convention:
Jim N.
and then haxxxored them into yr internet
The only thing worse than Ron Paul as president is Ron Paul in running shorts.
I love these arts too!
Why do all Ron Paul pictures look to me like Fred Astaire from “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”?
http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/santa.coming.town.blog.jpg
The snowman one would make an excellent Christmas card.
Is it Dick Cheney S&M images day and nobody told me?
Dick Cheney in an Italian dinner jacket is the most horrifying thing I will see all day. Thanks, Ken!
So, it turns out Ron Paul is trim, sexy runner? Now I feel dirty. Thanks a LOT, Layne.
Awesome! The dick pics made me taste metal though…
SayItWithWookies: That’s his lesbionic daughter.
“and i was scared he would eat me if i said anything more, and ran for alcohol”
Jim Newell, never run for an alcohol. There will always be another one.
The third Friday of the Month, always!
I came on here looking for my super-softcore Liz Glover porn … and I get THIS.
Fuck thank yous. Fuck God. Fuck Friday.
Ha! I knew Cheney was into nipple clamps! Thumbs up for these arts!
Don’t feel bad.I was late to my mom’s funeral and everybody bitched at me at the dinner afterwards.My brother thought I should pitch in on the casket and my sister told me I was an absolute asshole for telling Mrs.Martin that her tuna noodle casserole tasted like shit.It’s no wonder the two of them are Paultards.
Seriously Ken. We know you love Paultard, but shirtless?? C’mon.
I find this one particularly sexy:
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h320/partonjl/President_Ron_Paul04.jpg
And what’s with the Jew earing in the Cheney pick? What the fuck is that about?
Thanks for making good use of your MAD PHOTOSHOP SKILLZ!
weisenheimer: I think the Paultards shit those photoshopped images everywhere they can, but he still gets mad research skillz props.
That was so much more informative than a whole month of NPR chatter. New-new journalism rules! I demand a bumper sticker for my Subaru Outback!
i am so confused.
Bless her heart, but sometimes it’s hard to tell if Liz is smiling, or gritting her teeth. Either way, we should all buy her mass quantities of alcohol for enduring the ordeal of standing that close to the Messiah Himself.
Guppy06: The phrase is ’smiling glassily’. Liz has such nice glass, though. Perhaps ’shit-eating grin’ would be closer. Not sure.
Oh, well, there’s always next time. Better late than..uh..whatever.
Fronsty dis no-man
Was a jolly happy dweeb
With da ‘Merican flag and a reddened nose
And two eyes made out of weed
Fronsty dis no-man
Was a fairy male they say
He was made of NO
But the children know
He got born again one day
There must have been some magic
In that old red tie they snatched
For when they placed it round his neck
His Inner Falwell hatched
Sooooo, Fronsty dis no-man
Now as fundie as he could be
And the children say
He kin preach and pray
Just the same as Huckabee
teebob2000: Haw! Tis true! Fred Astaire.
teebob2000: sanantonerose: Fred Astaire vs. Ron Paul? You gotta be kidding.
One is a dead, skinny, dork-faced underbiter who never does any scene that isn’t carefully choreographed with minimal dialogue and also features dozens of artificial, obsequious people following him head over heels.
And the other is…..Fred Astaire.
TGY: Remember that old Farah Fawcett poster? Look at it tilted and she’s grimacing like the castrating earth snake goddess she is.
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/11_01/FawcettOld0711_468×721.jpg
So, yes, Liz Glover looks like Farah Fawcett. HOT.
I want to againt condemn all Paultards for critiquing this country’s monetary policy, especially in light of a falling dollar. Only stupid paultards would think that is an issue worth debating. Stupid paultards!
ps. - paultards!
RuperttheBear: Hm, yes, there is a high resemblance. However, Liz’s eyes are open wide to show the manic craziness within. Double hot! ‘Zany’ or perhaps ‘wacky’, even.
Newells a fat fuck.