What Inappropriate New Jokes Will McCain Make On Teevee Tonight?

Yes Mark Halperin's website, draw laughs he will! Tonight marks John McCain's first appearance on the NBC comedy showLate Night With Conan O'Briensince 2005, back when he was still that funny old coot and failed presidential senator guy with black children. Now, of course, he poses the greatest possible threat to the survival of Earth and everyone hates him. But he's still a wonderful comedian and we look forward to seeing him in his element tonight. What jokes about cunts,   bestial rape,   ugly young girls and killing innocent civilians will he debut tonight?

Senior officials at Langley have given us hints as to what we can expect from McCain's hilarious new routine:

• "Conan, where is my bowl of honey roasted nuts, you cunt."

• "Conan, did you ever hear the one about the gorilla who raped some gal? The gorilla is actually a black man and all of you people are cunts."

• "Where did I leave my goddamn pants."

• "I got a bagel at a New York diner today and the fat broad waitress tells me the cream cheese spread costs an extra 18 cents. I thought that was ridiculous. 18 cents for a standard cream cheese spread. So I called her a usurious Jew and also a cunt."

• "Conan lemme tell ya a thing or two about the Japs. They're like the Chinese, except we didn't nuke the Chinese. We need to nuke Russia."

• "I hope ugly Chelsea Clinton smokes cigarettes and dies, the cunt."

• "Take my wife. Please! She's a cunt."

• "I just flew in from Vegas and boy, are you a cunt, Conan."

See? He's learning! If liberals say your jokes aren't funny, make funnier jokes. 

 McCain to Draw Laughs with Conan [The Page]