YOU'RE GROUNDED  4:33 pm July 17, 2008

McCain Spokeswoman Gets in Twoooouble With The Boss

by Jim Newell

Here’s a Fox News clip from today of John McCain’s communications director Jill Hazelbaker, a.k.a. “the poor man’s Dana Perino.” She said that Barack Obama is not going to the Middle East to learn anything about the situation On The Ground — a stark contrast to avid listener John McCain, who learned about the two kinds of Muslims during his last trip to the region.

Hazelbaker added that Obama’s trip will be a “first-of-its-kind campaign rally overseas,” presumably replete with bottle service for all Iranian illicit arms-dealing VIPs. Her remark was so stupid that John McCain — not exactly the greatest “filterer” in politics himself — has disagreed with her and will speak with her about their talking points. He’ll tell her to include this great joke he once heard about a gorilla.

[YouTube, Newsweek]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


polar_bear July 17, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Everybody knows there are two kinds of muslims. Ones with AK-47s and ones with rocket launchers.

Larry Fine July 17, 2008 at 4:41 pm

Two kinds of Muslims, tops or bottoms.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 17, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=38807]polar_bear[/re]: What about the ones with the explosives tied to their chests? And in the boat? Your analysis falls apart my friend. The two kinds of muslims are, obvious, dead, and the soon-to-be-shat-upon-by-Dubya.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 17, 2008 at 4:44 pm

[re=38810]Larry Fine[/re]: There ARE muslims that are versatile, thank you.

shortsshortsshorts July 17, 2008 at 4:44 pm

Two kinds of Muslims:
Those who have already blown up an IED, and those who are in training.

WhatTheHeck July 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm

I’m going on a fact-finding trip to WV to observe how ‘hard-working Americans’ live… to see why they love their cousins… why they love porn… why they love to see fast cars going round and round on a circular track… why they love truck nutz… why they love to work so hard…

Then, and only then, will I discover what makes them different from regular mericans.

4tehlulz July 17, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Will the trip include heavily armored tours of marketplaces to see how safe Baghdad is? Because that would be pure politics.

polar_bear July 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm

[re=38816]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: You surely must concede to the fact that ALL muslims have explosives strapped to their bodies, regardless of their other weaponry, or whether they are “alive” or “dead”.

Uncle Al July 17, 2008 at 4:54 pm

Oh my god, her voice is actually more annoying than Hillary’s. Don’t listen, it’ll hurt your ears.

SayItWithWookies July 17, 2008 at 5:00 pm

The first campaign rally overseas? So Dubya talking shit about Obama to the Knesset a month ago didn’t count?

WadISay July 17, 2008 at 5:01 pm

A Joey Heatherton video and a bottle of Cornhusker’s Lotion is the poor man’s Dana Perino.

itgetter July 17, 2008 at 5:04 pm

[re=38822]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I originally read this is “IUD” and lapsed into a sort of confused horror for a moment or two.

shortsshortsshorts July 17, 2008 at 5:08 pm

[re=38843]itgetter[/re]: Oh my fucking god that is hilarious…

There are two kinds of Muslims,
those who receive the vaginal circumcision, and those who give it.

edgydrifter July 17, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Having walked the streets of Baghdad, J-Mac is familiar with all Muslim traditions.

Lazy Media July 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Oh, Jesus Christ. If McCain wins, I will have to work with this helium-sucking bint. Now, it’s personal.

S.Luggo July 17, 2008 at 5:14 pm

[re=38825]4tehlulz[/re]: No, it would be just like traveling in South Philly.

Gopherit v2.0 July 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm

I thought the first campaign rally overseas (for 2008, anyway) was the MacDaddy’s visit to the street Bazaar in Baghdad with the 100+ soldiers , 3 helicopters, and body armor?

Paultardville July 17, 2008 at 5:20 pm

The two kinds of Muslims are: 1) The ones trying to kill us all and hate our freedom, and 2) The inadequate black guy running for preznet.

Oh wait, that’s just one kind I guess. Damn.

S.Luggo July 17, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Wholesome, yet with smidgeon of whining bitch, or, as the fem-nazis would say, “aggressiveness”.

As luck would have it, Jill’s more than adequate to enroll John’s bill.

PrairiePossum July 17, 2008 at 5:26 pm

Two kinds of Muslims?

Extra crispy or original recipe?
Chunky or extra creamy?
Scrambled or Over Easy?
Regular or Lite?

V572625694 July 17, 2008 at 5:31 pm

[re=38836]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The first campaign rally overseas? Who could forget that WALNUTS spent the 4th of July in Mexico? Why does Panamanian strongman Juan McCain hate America?

LBOtomist July 17, 2008 at 5:34 pm

[re=38838]WadISay[/re]: Win!

Gopherit v2.0 July 17, 2008 at 5:51 pm

The two kinds of Muslims are the same as the two kinds of Vietnamese Walmuts learned about so long ago:

The ones who run are terrorists.
The ones who stand their ground are well disciplined terrorists.

PoliticalGraffiti July 17, 2008 at 6:04 pm

[re=38860]S.Luggo[/re]: i think you mean north philly

Johnny Zhivago July 17, 2008 at 6:17 pm

A campaign rally overseas goes along with my suggestion to tax all foreigners living abroad.

bitchincamaro July 17, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Hopey best stay way way way the fuck away from those Blackwater bitches up in I-raq. Bad for the health.

FlownOver July 17, 2008 at 6:21 pm

The video in the second link looked like an aged Townshend and Daltrey re-enacting the cover photo of “Who’s Next.”

The Incomparable Tiny Valdez July 17, 2008 at 7:23 pm

I need a wonkettini. Make it a double.

shortsshortsshorts July 17, 2008 at 8:01 pm

Since when we’re there spokes”women” anyway.


SwanSwanH July 17, 2008 at 9:45 pm

Two kinds of McCains, too…

One who said that we distinguish ourselves from our enemies by the way in which we treat our enemies…

And then there’s the one we’re left with now.

Wee Mousie July 17, 2008 at 9:56 pm

The government never paid for my vacation. I only know what I see on television.

The mainstream military press only recognizes two kinds of Muslim, legitimate targets and collateral damage.

off-white working class July 17, 2008 at 11:28 pm

whoa whoa whoa! there are 2 kinds of MUSLIMS?!?!?! SOOO THERE’S MORE ‘EM? we’re fuckin doomed.

Guy July 18, 2008 at 1:16 am

cute video on streets of SF searching for any signs of McCain love:

TGY July 18, 2008 at 7:22 am

I wonder what the rich man’s version of Dana Perino is.

WadISay July 18, 2008 at 9:02 am

[re=39186]TGY[/re]: Joe Goebbels.

problemwithcaring July 18, 2008 at 1:10 pm

[re=39186]TGY[/re]: Baghdad Bob.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: