RULES OF SUCCESSION  2:06 pm July 17, 2008

Electoral Apocalypse Doomsday Scenario: Obama And McCain Tie, World Explodes, Nancy Pelosi Is President

by Sara K. Smith

A piece of paper will not save you from the DOOMSDAY APOCALYPSE, little boy.Remember how much fun the primaries were, with the math and numbers and the whole “If Hillary gets enough superdelegates then two plus two will equal five, within the confines of Michigan and Florida before May 31 divided by two”? Dust off your abacus because now your favorite News Analysts will be giving themselves mental hernias as they strain to figure out in which way our electoral college and its nutty rules could again leave infuriated Americans ready to hop on the first spaceship to France.

If Barack Obama wins all the states John Kerry won, plus Iowa, Nevada, and New Mexico, he will have 269 electoral votes. So will John McCain. In the event of such a terrible occurrence, the vote would go to the House of Representatives, where each state would get a vote. If neither candidate could get 26 votes, it would go to the Senate. And if the Senate deadlocks, then our president is automatically Nancy Pelosi.

Something pretty much like this happened in 1800 when Thomas Jefferson got picked over Aaron Burr so that Burr could get to work killing Alexander Hamilton. Little-known historical fact: after Hamilton lost to Burr in that fateful duel, Nancy Pelosi became Secretary of the Treasury.

Tie Vote? Obama-McCain ‘Doomsday Scenario’ [ABC News]

 
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{ 36 comments }

NoWireHangers July 17, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Then Nancy Pelosi could choose Barry as VP and disappear. Problem Solved.

Delicious July 17, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Nancy Pelosi. Eww. Gross.

tunamelt July 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Our electoral system is weird.

shortsshortsshorts July 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Gawd I hope there’s some way we can keep George in office. Fuck change. four more years.

Serolf Divad July 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Under the 12th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, if one candidate does not get 270 votes, the decision gets kicked to the House of Representatives, where each state gets a vote — a formula that would likely guarantee an Obama victory.

God, this would make me so fucking happy… payback for 2000.

itgetter July 17, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Before the Presidential Succession Act of 1947, the President Pro Tempore was next in line after VP. When huge pussy Zachary Taylor refused to be sworn in as president because it was the sabbath, the President Pro Tempore, David Rice Atchison, became president until the next day. So we had a President Atchison that nobody knows about because they’re all racist.

/history teacher

That being said, I look forward to the day that our electoral system implodes and leaves us a with gay-loving elitist lady president.

Not_So_Much July 17, 2008 at 2:26 pm

I fucking hate the fucking electoral college.

And not just because those assholes totally pwned my school’s trivia team…

Paultardville July 17, 2008 at 2:27 pm

I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up with an inanimate carbon rod as our president by the end of this fiasco election cycle.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 17, 2008 at 2:29 pm

[re=38601]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
That would really be pushing the dial up to 11. I’d be morbidly curious to see what would happen myself.

BadNewsJack July 17, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Then the world will turn to a lifeless goo, with fire raining down from the heavens, cats humping dogs, night will turn into day, George W. Bush will become a Rhodes scholar, Clinton will join the priesthood, Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond will rise from the grave, eating the brains of negroes and gays.

DAMN YOU IOWA, NEVADA, and NEW MEXICO!!!!
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!

itgetter July 17, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=38616]itgetter[/re]: *with a

This is why I don’t teach English.

BadNewsJack July 17, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=38630]Paultardville[/re]: INANIMATE CARBON ’08!!!

4tehlulz July 17, 2008 at 2:37 pm

[re=38602]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yeah, but you know some tard racist Blue Dogs would vote for McCain because he’s too black or something.

Hooray For Anything July 17, 2008 at 2:38 pm

[re=38602]Serolf Divad[/re]: That’s assuming that the Democrats in congress wouldn’t screw it up. Which they probably would.

districtsleeps July 17, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Drunk History presents Alexander Hamilton vs. Aaron Burr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6V_DsL1x1uY

V572625694 July 17, 2008 at 2:42 pm

[re=38602]Serolf Divad[/re]: payback for 2000? Not after Scalia and Roberts step in.

Servo July 17, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Nancy may actually have her “to do” list completed by then.

nbawriter July 17, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Geez, Russert figured this out weeks before he croaked. Now that he’s ManTits-up, here goes midget George’s minions boosting it and packaging it as a new revelation for ABC.

Stephanopolous … givin’ it to Russert Greek in the grave.

JamesMichaelCurley July 17, 2008 at 2:51 pm

[re=38602]Serolf Divad[/re]: Only if the ‘State’s’ caucus produces a majority in 26 or more states who cast their state vote for Obama. Are there 26 or more states with more democratic representatives then republican representatives? What will the November 08 election bring? The boondoggle of a tie for president in the November 08 election gets decided by the Congress sitting in January, not the present Congress.

Delicious July 17, 2008 at 2:52 pm

We may never have a president again, but we’ll always have The Slim Slack.

Can somebody change that fucking ad!

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 17, 2008 at 2:54 pm

This sounds like fun, but the end of the world isn’t supposed to happen until 2012, when Hillary runs against Obama.

jagorev July 17, 2008 at 3:12 pm

[re=38616]itgetter[/re]: Snopes says that factoid about Dave Rice Atchison is a myth:
http://www.snopes.com/history/american/atchison.asp

Now you’ll probably have to resign in disgrace.

CollegeStudent July 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm

[re=38630]Paultardville[/re]: we might do better

BreakfastBeer July 17, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=38602]Serolf Divad[/re]: Aren’t you afraid Bush will say “boo” to Congressional Dems, rendering them wet in the pants and making them choose McCain?

Texan Bulldoggette July 17, 2008 at 3:26 pm

I’m sure those old geezers in FL will find some way to screw things up way before we get to the vote counting part. Although it’s nice to think of HRC’s head exploding if Nancy Pelosi ended up as the first woman president. Gawd….

Miller July 17, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Bah. Everyone knows this is the nightmare constitutional scenario.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/2008/07/broken-news-second-amendment-moves-to.html

Hooray For Anything July 17, 2008 at 3:32 pm

I have a hunch that the eventual resolution to all of this will be Hillary becoming President. Just you wait and see.

masterofzen July 17, 2008 at 3:49 pm

The hilariously clinical and “intellectual” intro reads *exactly* like the beginning of, like, a National Lampoon parody from 1974.

masterofzen July 17, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Oh, I commented on the wrong post. Such are the perils of having 50 tabs open at once.

itgetter July 17, 2008 at 4:11 pm

[re=38718]jagorev[/re]: Nah, I’ll just cry foul and call upon the teachers’ union to defend me. Like a REAL teacher.

But I am seriously depressed that it’s a myth, because I did so love to chortle about it.

Guppy06 July 17, 2008 at 6:50 pm

I still say we should go back to “loser becomes VP.”

Borat July 17, 2008 at 7:03 pm

[re=38675]Delicious[/re]: the slim slacks ad is my daily excitement. please keep it. or replace it with something just as juicy. no trannies though please

NebraskashireGentry July 17, 2008 at 10:03 pm

[re=38602]Serolf Divad[/re]: 2000 was payback for 1960…the cycle continues.

travellabyrinth July 17, 2008 at 11:24 pm

I think it’s pretty unrealistic to expect McCain to live that long. This whole story is based on that shaky assumption.

Jason_M July 18, 2008 at 1:35 am

It’ll depend on who offers the best deal and/or most money and/or pork. Like the Hayes-Tilden 1876 election.

Sabre_Justice July 18, 2008 at 3:35 am

Just have then fight to the death already.

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