Wonkette
Senator Orrin Hatch is an old conservative Republican from Utah, the most conservative Republican state in the country: so it’s no surprise that in a moment of weakness the balladeer of the Senate would pen a sweet, romantic ode to one of his male colleagues. Apparently he is great pals with Ted Kennedy, whose battle with brain cancer compelled Hatch to write a ballad called “Headed Home.” But it is not about heads.
Here is a sample of the beautiful lyrics:
Sailing home, sailing home. America, America, we’re headed home at last
Just honor him, honor him, and every fear will be a thing of the past …
Through the darkness, we can find a pathway, that will take us halfway to the stars
Shoo the shadows and doubts away, and touch the legacy that is ours, yours and mine.
Amazingly, all the “sailing home … at last” business is not about returning to the arms of Jesus or whatever. It’s about heading home to the Senate, which is like Heaven in the sense that it’s full of half-naked cherubs. Except in DC they are called “interns.”
Senator Hatch’s love ode to Senator Kennedy will be played at the Democratic National Convention. Then John Ashcroft will come out and perform “Let the Eagle Soar,” in drag, with Rudy Giuliani.
Across the aisle, a ballad to Kennedy [Boston Globe]
LOOK OUT FLAT STANLEY ITS A MORMON RUN!
“Then John Ashcroft will come out and perform “Let the Eagle Soar,” in drag, with Rudy Giuliani.”
You dirty tease.
Ah, come on! Could any place be more ultracon wingnutty than Kansas? I didn’t think so.
“Through the darkness, we can find a pathway” - this is about ass-fucking, right?
I am feeling SOOO GAY right now. What do these people do to me?
Man-Love from a Republican. Yawn.
“Could any place be more ultracon wingnutty than Kansas?”
You mean the state that voted for Obama 3-to-1 over Hillary?
What the Fuck is wrong with Republicans?
I prefer my Orrin Hatch songs screwed and chopped.
And again Sara, BRAVA on alt tag!
masterdebater: I grew up in Utah. Salt Lake City can be almost hip at times, but the rest of the state is scary. The Utah state legislature is the most outstanding collection of yahoos, redneck, and lunatics in the country.
bhosp: Flat Stanley is totes getting molested…
“You’ve finally come home,
and we’re so glad that you aren’t dead.
And if you ever start feeling randy,
Find an intern to give you head.
Sailing home, sailing home.
America, America, we’re headed home at last.”
freakishlystrong: Witheld maternal love? Early-life traumas involving farm animals? The possibilities are endless.
Anyone who writes poetry is a suspect of being the homosexual.
freakishlystrong: Yeah! There’s nothing wrong with Republicans! They’re great!
Uh, the prognosis for all patients with glioma is 50% dead in one year, 75% within two. For those with radiotherapy, six month survival is 70%, twevle month 39%. So, thank god for Acela.
And if Ted had colon cancer, this song would be called, “Up your ass, Homer”?
Through the darkness, we can find a pathway, that will take us halfway to the liver…
Ads new meaning to “crossing party lines” or “working both sides of the isle”, doesn’t it?
Does this mean that the republican answer to getting things done in Congress is everyone just geting more of teh buttsecs?
“Mom, how come my Flat Stanley is all sticky?”
*getting
Damn my snark being faster than my fingers! (wait, that sounds dirty too. curses!)
Doglessliberal: It’s really getting bad for me,
I don’t even want them in my house and stuff..one of them actually,
derisivly, commented that I had “Countdown” on, I just said,
“Get the fuck outta my house then..”
Makes me wish I were held public office so the media could report on the rock opera I wrote titled “Who Wants Cock?”
For me it kinda fell apart with “Shoo the shadows…”
flagold x: oh lord, he we go again. I vote comments be limited to “short-ballad” size. Can someone ban this ass?
Wow, there goes flippy flagold again. Rest, give it?
flagold x: Get OUT.
FMA: Was that REALLY necessary? I can’t even look at my lunch now?
“Mommy? Why did Flat Stanley come back looking like he modeled for the painting “The Scream”?
loudmouthredhead: Are you having Flat Stanley for lunch then?
I’m pretty sure he stole those lyrics from a Styx song. Styx sucks.
I much prefer the Christopher Cross version.
Maybe it’s just ’cause someone mentioned Kansas, but I’m thinking this would make a sweet mashup if mixed with “Carry On My Wayward Son”.
freakishlystrong: Yes. Like any godless liberal(tm), I gain sustenance by consuming things that bring even small amounts of joy into the lives of children, and then I slake my thirst with their tears. Oh, and I also eat puppies and kitties in the name of my Dark Lord.
Monsieur Grumpe: Styx certainly sucks simply since it’s so seventies.
loudmouthredhead: Remind me not to piss you off. Poof! flagold is gone!
The voice, to bring the hackneyed lyrical stylings of a failed Danite Bacharach imitator, to life:
Tony Middleton… One of the most versatile performers on the entertainment scene. You will note, on this CD, Tony can be edgy or soft, amusing or seductive. Tony Middleton loves music and caresses every word he sings. Tony sings with the power, feeling and sureness that only great talents have.
He (ed. Hoyer) confirmed that the song is under consideration for use at the convention.
Lieberman can croak this one out, in the spirit of bipartisanship, in Denver…
pondscum: Oh yeah, that was ALL me. Bwa hahahaha! I am gawd!
loudmouthredhead: Wow! Just like a Republican!
I wonder if the devil has a song about Jesse Helms sailing home and helping him segregate the sulpher pits in Hell.
Shit sandwich.
freakishlystrong: It has gotten to the point that when I see a W sticker on a car, which I do with disturbing frequency, I wonder if the person is brain dead or evil, or both. (I gave W the sobriquet “Evil Moron” several years ago, so it might be both) What are his numbers now? 10% approval? They all seem to live around NoVa.
This makes Larry Craig’s welcome back blow job look pretty fucking tacky.
Doglessliberal: Sadly, 28%, who the hell ARE these fools?
Ted will now return the favor with “Ode To Dirty Sanchez.”
SwanSwanH: FTW.
Christ, was he channeling Tolkien or something? Fucker cannot write lyrics.
i recommend an eyewash of Lysol if youre unlucky enough to stumble on the pictures of Hatch with Barry Manilow, Donnie Osmond, and Paul Williams…..
it works well, and the burning is insignificant compared with the pain of seeing the photos……
Sometimes, I lift my eyes to the heavens and exclaim “Why must we be ruled by ‘tards, O Lord?” Then I remember there isn’t a God and that makes everything clearer.
People don’t realize that Hatch and Kennedy were longtime lovers, and their affair was kept secret from the public, although many people on Capitol Hill knew about it. Once, a young blogger, SenateStaffitonienne, wrote about his secret tyrsts in the Senate Gym Bathroom with Hatch, Kennedy, and, every now and then, Barney Frank and Mark Foley. You can find the original SenateStaffitonienne blogs at the old Senatette web site. Rumor is that a book and a movie are in the works.
Larry Fine: Now thats not fair. What about the limmerick about that guy from Nantucket?
Thank you. You’re a very talented songwriter. We’ll call. Goodbye
SwanSwanH: But does Orrin Hatch turn it up to 11?
It’s in D Minor…the saddest of all keys.
loudmouthredhead: It’s the only thing they know how to do well.