Wonkette
So far this election season, the most effective labeling campaign against Barack Obama has come from a few thousand inbred adult retards who signed up for a free 500-hour AOL trial in 1997 and never had their service shut down due to a “clerical error,” which is what nowadays allows them to forward racist NOOBAMA chain emails back and forth with each other for entire afternoons at a time. The McCain campaign, on the other hand, has failed miserably to label Obama with each passing attempt, most of which are modest variations on either “how did this damn kid get on my lawn?” or “some Asians — Barack Obama, namely — tortured me in the military hundreds of years ago.” Today on a conference call, however, a McCain adviser touted the campaign’s new “thinking outside the box” ploy: Barack Obama is the same person as George W. Bush, the terrible and presiding leader of the Republican party.
“I think the American people have had enough of inflexibility and stubbornness in national security policy,” [McCain foreign policy adviser Randy] Scheunemann said. When asked later by the Huffington Post’s Sam Stein whether the campaign was disparaging President Bush, Scheunemann dug in: “We cannot afford to replace one administration that refused for too long to acknowledge failure in Iraq with a candidate that refuses to acknowledge success in Iraq.”
So Barack Obama is now a flip-flopper and a stubborn ideologue at the same time, meaning he is twice as bad as George W. Bush, who is actually the same person as Barack Obama?
John McCain will now beat Barack Obama by 50 points in every election from here on out, BUT ONLY IF HE STICKS TO THIS STRATEGY. We will be lucky to have a not-stubborn President such as John McCain, whose nuanced and flexible Iraq strategy is “SOMEONE MAKE VIKKTURYS HAPPEN.”
McCain Camp’s New Attack: Obama Is The One Who’s The Same As Bush [TPM Election Central]
Beautiful. A page ripped from the Pee Wee Herman School of Debate.
“I know you are, but what am I?”
I’m gonna get drunk and vote for John McCain. Thnak yu Jenny 2!
FreshCliches: infinity
“I’m itchy! I’ve got ants in my pants! I’m discombobulated! Give me a calmative!”
Abe Simpson Campaign Manger, McCainiac 08!
RuperttheBear: Well I tried to warn you all. Don’t piss off the tards! Didn’t I say that? I definitely did say DON’T PISS OFF THE TARDS! I said that, yeah! But would you listen? Noooooo!
Makes a lot of sense if you think about it.
There are a lot of other similarities between Bush and Obama. Both have a “b” in their last name. Both (theoretically) have balls. Both are married to (theoretically) women. Both appear to be human-like in their interaction with the world around them.
WALNUTS!!!!
“I think the American people have had enough of inflexibility and stubbornness in national security policy,”
Uh, like insisting that you will “win” a war without explaining how, other than to assert “the surge is working” (hint: not a sustainable strategy)? Or how about insisting, despite all evidence to the contrary, that Iraq is the most important battleground in the “war-on-terror”?
Tha-at’s not cha-ange we can be-elieve in.
January 8, 2008
1. Alien Space Craft sighted over GWBusk ranch.
2. Resurgence of McCain Campaign begins with New Hampshire Victory
Coincidence?
This should be effective.
My head just asploded. Thanks a lot, Mr. “Scheunemann”, if that is your real name.
columnv: But Bush is a carbon-based life form and Hopey is made of rainbows and unicorn tears! Important difference.
You go with that WALNUTS!; damn if that ain’t the campaign strategery to end all.
Oh, and perhaps you should remind people again that the slant-eyes tortured you; that seems to be working, too.
What kind of word play is it when you use polar-opposites like “failure” and “success” to make a point. Oh ya!
“bullshit.”
I think the McCain camp is trying the Infinite Monkey Theory of political strategizing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_monkey_theorem
Or maybe they’re just trying to get all the nurturing liberals to hear them out, who will then suffer a sprained brain from reconciling the cognitive dissonance. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go ice my hippocampus.
LOL.
“You’re Bush!”
“No, *you’re* Bush!”
“I know you are, but what am I?”
Bush. The new cooties.
So does this mean that dementia is as fun as drugs?
How do we fight the evil that is Bush? Vote for the man he endorsed! That’s wonderful — and so sensible. I’m going to carry my car home now, where my cats will make me a sandwich, a beer will drink me, and my feet will put me up on an ottoman until this violent thumping in my head goes away…
The point is, Barack Obama is whatever it is you don’t like!
columnv: There are lots of other similarities. Like they both went to Ivy League schools and have mothers who are white. They also did a lot of coke when they were younger.
shortsshortsshorts: It’s a variation on Hobson’s choice, I suppose, or a false dilemma.
You know, bullshit.
Marvellous concept!
No one ever went broke underestimating the size of the American military victory necessary to make the fly-over patriots puff out their collective chests.
Practically nothing will suffice. Think Grenada.
Think about it. Have you ever seen Bush and Obama in the same room together? You have? Well, fuck you then.
Four More Years!
This continues the WINNING strategy from yesterday that Joe-mentum used: The Surge is successful–just admit it, Barry!!! Of course, success usually means that you did the job at the 90 to 100% range. 50% is not success–it’s a C-.
The Surge–America didn’t FLUNK out of Iraq!
SayItWithWookies: Damn, I’d love it if my cats could do that. I’m jealous, Wookster.
when you have stubborn foreign policy, you refuse to acknowedge that counties change their names
snig: “In 2003, a humorous experiment was performed with six Celebes Crested Macaques, but their literary contribution was five pages consisting largely of the letter S.”
A literary achievement as-yet unrivalled by any neocon opinionator.
columnv: You laugh, but the current Administration started a war because Al Qaeda and Iraq both have “Q”s.
Lascauxcaveman: Well if you ever get a hankering for a peanut butter mayonnaise and cat hair sandwich, let me know!
SayItWithWookies: One of those Macaques ghostwrote the latest O’Reilly tome.
Garble: Obama is Your New Pet Peeve
just this morning I was saying to myself, gee, that John Mkkkain sure is easygoing and openminded
ManchuCandidate: Slow down sir! You’re going to give yourself skin failure!
If you look in any dictionary under “body language,” all they have anymore is that picture.
“We cannot afford to replace one administration that refused for too long to acknowledge failure in Iraq with a candidate that refuses to acknowledge success in Iraq.”
I mean, can we even be sure we’re in Iraq? Maybe, this whole time, it was Turkey.
So, basically, McCain is saying Obama isn’t optimistic enough to be president?
medievalist: No, because drugs are fun, as all us derelicts know. Dementia is just sad.
Another similarity: Bush and Obama are both Czechoslovakian!
Also, someone named “Merle” has stolen my avatar on TPM!
http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/profile/Merle
Shame we’ve alienated the Paultards, I’m sure they could advise me how to handle such an injustice…
Suddenly reminded of a Simpsons episode:
Martin: [class president campaign speech] In a sample taken in this very classroom,
a state inspector found 1.74 parts per million of asbestos!
Bart: That’s not enough! We demand MORE asbestos!
[leads the class in a chant of `MORE ASBESTOS']
SayItWithWookies: McCain uses monkeys: another racist Republican attack machine. For shame.
My last comment may have been incoherent. Stupid lack of preview function (and boss coming in while I was typing).
sezme: They’re both cunts.
tunamelt: Don’t you mean the Ottoman Empire?
To show you how out of touch McCain is, its actually Cheney who Obama is related to.
Cheney dresses in dark suits. Obama dresses in dark suits.
Cheney has a big endowment. Obama has a big endowment.
Need I go any further?
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: Let’s sack Constantinople!
McCain’s Strategy for Victory in the War on Terror:
Station U.S. troops in every country on earth and proclaim the American Christian Theocracy.
1) Draft EVERYBODY in the U.S. (except government officials–hey, somebody’s gotta run things!)
2) Suspend the Constitution–what the hell, it only gets in the way of getting things done.
3) Pull U.S. troops out of Baghdad.
4) Nuke Baghdad–also nuke wherever Muqtada al-Sadr is currently residing.
5) Send this carefully-worded diplomatic communique to Iran: “You want a piece of me, Mahmoud? Huh? HUH??? Come and get it!”
6) Send this diplomatic communique to Pakistan and Afghanistan: “Get the FUCK outta my way!”
7) Post a message on the Internet to al-Qaeda: “I want Osama delivered to U.S. forces, trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, ASAP! You say you’d rather die? Happy to oblige! 3…2…1…
Lascauxcaveman: icanhasmccain?
madirishman: I can’t believe I’m saying it:
I totally agree with that strategy.
There.
So, is McCain asleep in that photo? It looks like he’s taking a nap.
mookworthjwilson: I really doubt that. One of those macaques could shit a better book than Bill-O’s literary fecal material.
A being that’s way more retarded than a macaque wrote that book. We’re talking Feith stupid.
Did TonyTheTiger get a job as McCain’s military adviser?
loquaciousmusic: I’m glad he’s putting his law degree to good use.
AnnieGetYourFun: Many thanks for that.
tunamelt: But I thought he was a doctor, explorer, cannibal entrepreneur?
Fine. Have it your way. The war in Iraq is a failure. The war in Iraq is a success.
Where was I when all this was happening? I’ve got to learn to ration my daily servings of Honcho Magazine. I keep missing the times when McCain shoves Barack’s talking points back at him, Hanoi style.
Every time I see that photo I get the impression that McCain was reaching for Bush’s wallet.
Of course, everyone knows Bush’s wallet is as empty as his head. Once he leaned better, McCain started reaching for Bush’s friends.
evolutionista:
FreshCliches:
I’m rubber and your glue, what every you say bounces off me and you’re made from the hooves of euthanized horses
ReelectTilden:
McCain uses monkeys: another racist Republican attack machine. For shame.
Is that a haiku or something? It’s … so… beautiful. They should’ve sent a poet…
RuperttheBear: It lost the funny somewhere between my brain and my keyboard.
ReelectTilden: No, srsly. This is good in a “I need time for quiet reflection” way. Keep it ups. Me likey. I need another drink.
ronaldpagan: touché.
That’s very logical…if you are a wingnutty republican, and fading off into senile dementia land.
What McCain is saying is that this hard-headed, get the troops out of Iraq strategy is just as bad as a hard-headed, keep the troops in Iraq strategy, as opposed to McCain’s sensible “pretend that the troops aren’t there” strategy.
tunamelt: Tried that, I kept getting lost in Istanbul.
mookworthjwilson: Monkeys are Americans, too!