Wonkette
John McCain can stand up for several hours at a time and play games of chance for money! One eyewitness report comes from Above the Law’s David Lat, who used to write for Wonkette before he got classy.
Here is the True Tale of this one time John McCain played craps in 2004:
We were impressed by Senator McCain’s stamina. It was well past midnight, he was on his feet for several hours (no sitting allowed at the craps table), and he was still going strong. We were also impressed by his large stack of chips. [Hey-oh! -- Ed.] He wasn’t the luckiest roller; when it was his turn to shoot, he “sevened out” after about three rolls of the dice. But the table was generally hot, so he did well betting on other players.
And he hasn’t paid taxes on any of his gambling “earnings” for the past couple years because he hasn’t had time to play craps, or maybe he has just been a loser. The point is, this will all go over fabulously with nutjob religious freaks who believe that frigging bingo is gambling.
John McCain’s Tax Returns: What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas [Above the Law]
Still a better gambler than “Diamond” Bill Bennett. How one loses seven or eight million dollars playing video poker is beyond me.
I wonder if he ever met Plenty O’Toole playing craps.
I’m gambling that the McCain gif being used above will win a Grammy.
While we concentrate on this, our Congress says “let them eat cake” — no to oil drilling . . .
Energy-Texas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAOUw1XQDhI
What did Congress Do Today?:
FLOOR SCHEDULE FOR WEDNESDAY, JULY 16, 2008
House Meets At…
10:00 a.m.: Legislative Business
Fifteen “One Minutes” Per Side
H.R. 5959 - FY09 Intelligence Authorization Act (Rep. Reyes – Intelligence) (Subject to a Rule) Title: To authorize appropriations for fiscal year 2009 for intelligence and intelligence-related activities of the United States Government, the Community Management Account, and the Central Intelligence Agency Retirement and Disability System, and for other purposes.
H.R. 415 - To amend the Wild and Scenic Rivers Act to designate segments of the Taunton River in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as a component of the National Wild and Scenic Rivers (Rep. Frank – Natural Resources) (Subject to a Rule)
Postponed Suspension Vote (1 Bill)
1) H.Con.Res. 295 - Expressing the deepest appreciation of Congress to the families of members of the United States Armed Forces (Rep. Bilirakis – Armed Services)
__________
A busy, busy day in the Democrat controlled Congress 15 minutes of speeches, 2 votes, kick one can down the road, and go home (hate to sound partisan, but they were put in power in 2006 — and so they get to set the agenda and what comes before Congress) . . .
Meanwhile, gasoline is still $4.15 a gallon . . .
I’ll see your trollop and raise you a cunt.
Thoughts of McCain’s “stamina” make my nauseated, as visions of Cindy being plowed for hours on end by a bag of wrinkles dance through my head.
I’m sure he did a lot of praying at the craps table, so the religious right will surely forgive him.
Godless Liberal *: make me nauseated, rather. And that’s nothing on the images that seeing McCain and “craps” so close together summon.
We reached out to the McCain campaign for comment. From spokesman Tucker Bounds:
John McCain has had little occasion to try his luck at gaming in 2006 and 2007, as he was otherwise occupied during that time — and had no winning sessions. As a result, Senator McCain had no taxable income when he did.
Two questions:
McCain was in the Hanoi Hilton in 2006-07?
Tucker Fucking Bounds???!!!
flagold: You’re on the wrong site, flagold. Go back to freerepublic where they relish this kind of shit. Here it is: http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/*/index
McCain for Ocean’s 14! He can play Carl Reiner’s dad or some such.
Combover: Wow, that’s one ugly Web site, that freerepublic.com!
“flagold: You’re on the wrong site, flagold. Go back to freerepublic where they relish this kind of shit. Here it is:”
Are you the same guy that asked me about energy? Here it is (you’ll love it!):
“Energy:”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4I_LWav7YA
ManchuCandidate:
Nickle slots, playing 30 lines and 25 nickles per line. Sit there long enough and it adds up.
At least he wasn’t a white lady from Kansas who gambled one night with a Kenyan, breeding an interracial presidential candidate who gives homogenized bitters a hard time.
By God, at least he didn’t do that!
And he probably told some of his best rape jokes at that craps table.
“President John McCain - A Good Fucking Time”
The hanging matter for our age is this: Is McCain Beavvis to Bush’s Butthead, or is it tother way about?
McCain has a real incentive to break the bank at Monte Carload. The moment he thinks he is far enough ahead, he can tell that cunt, Cindy, what to do with her trust fund. In fact, he occasionally suffers from a senior moment where he imagines it has already occurred.
flagold: Umm… I’m confused. Is Walnuts gambling his oil money? WHAT?
flagold: I didn’t ask you about energy and no one on this web site cares, I assure you. And, if you’re going to continue to comment on this site please get yourself what we like to call an ‘avatar’. An avatar is a cute, funny, or irreverent picture that encapsulates some aspect of your persona like my picture of Chris Lloyd or shortshortshorts’, well, shorts. You might, for example,
like a nice swastika or, perhaps, a firearm of some sort. With your special interest in energy you might find an oil drill bit a nice choice or, perhaps a dead news-worth animal such as a caribou or a polar bear. And don’t thank me, I want to help.
No one cares that your Democrats in Congress have been manipulating the stock market?
No one cares that whole fields out west can’t be irrigated because they can’t pay the fuel price?
No one cares that people in the third world will start starving when food stocks run low — and maybe here as well?
No one cares that France tried wind power and are now 98% on nuclear energy because of that colossal failure?
No one cares that in the grocery stores now, shelf stocks are going dry?
No one cares that entire towns in the west are going broke — because gasoline is to expensive for tourism?
No one cares that industries are and all the people that support them in any way are going under?
No one cares . . .
I’m thinking of a joke involving the Wesley Snipes movie quote “always bet on black,” but it’s not coming together.
flagold: Exactly. No one ON THIS SITE cares. Bye.
I was wondering who was behind renaming “Blackjack” “Secret-Muslim-jack” at our local casino. Damn you, WALNUTS!
“No one cares that your Democrats in Congress have been manipulating the stock market?”
Now Spanky, you need to thank the Enron loophole and give McCain’s “Economic Brain” Phil Gramm a pat on the back for oil speculation.
Now go run back to your gay Gov. Crist and lick his asshole. I hear he likes that kinda stuff.
flagold: You’re at the wrong site, homie. Take your serious shit elsewhere.
flagold: Listen. We know what you’re trying to do. Let’s just cut to the chase and end it now. It’ll save you the time, and us the pain. Everybody wins!
flagold: And no one cares about you.
flagold: And no one cares that you are just making a bunch of shit up at this point either.
shortsshortsshorts: He finally did choose an appropriate avatar, though.
flagold:
Terrible Mistress, Sara Smith, grant us this wish: BANHAMMER.
flagold: Nobody here cares about anything but Republicans who engage in buttsex. No get out and take your stupid flag with you.
flagold: …no one cares who’s had control for the last 7 years?
flagold: No one cares that you lick your mother’s tain while she fellates a donkey?
mookworthjwilson: Help me, mookworth. ‘Tain’?
flagold: When I feel like caring I go to happy hour. Then I don’t care anymore! There are a whole bunch of boring sites where people sit around and care all day long though. I suggest you go to http://www.carebears.com.
To the rest of us. I’m not sure if that’s a real site but hopefully it will throw him off our sent for a while.
that would be taint…damn internets…
KevoTron: Hi Kev! Impeccable siting instincts! By the way, do you think that flagold is familiar with Internet traditions?
flagold:
A) Re: Stock market manipulation - You’re off your meds, get back on them.
B) Fuel prices: For decades you morons have been scoffing at the very idea of energy conservation, all the while driving around in massive SUVs and screaming bloody murder every time a liberal suggests improving CAFE standards. I’m sorry you can’t afford to fill your Hummer any more, but the time’s come to pay the piper, so suck it up. And you can scream and he and haw about drilling in ANWR, but it’s still just a drop in the bucket in the face of surging world demand.
KevoTron: That website is sexist.
flagold: There’s nothing worse than a Paultard with a protest song.
Serolf Divad: For God’s sake, don’t start him up again!
magic titty: It was a eugenics program on a previously unheard of scale - one couple, one pact, one terrifying offspring. Coming this fall to all media outlets everywhere in the world: “The Rise of the Uebermensch.”
flagold: No one cares, because the Zionist elders control the media. DUH!
McCain suckz..but he suckz ALOT less than Barack Hussein Obama!
It takes a rare socialist villain to make John McCain the better candidate…congrats to the democratic party for nominating the only one in the bunch to accomplish that feat. Hence the reason why people will http://www.getdrunkandvote4mccain.com
I specifically love how Obama touts how he will “unify” the country and he just signed Kanye West (the same rapper who was criticized by both political parties for his racist rants about “Whitey” and white oppression and how the government created the AIDS virus to kill blacks..) to perform at the D.N.C. I can absolutely see how Obama wants to “unify” this nation—whatever. Hillary was a b*tch—but I would have pulled her lever over McCain’s.
“CHANGE”…please… the only change we’ll see is the change that is the remaining balance in our bank accounts when Obama becomes President and taxes us into oblivion for his socialist agenda.
Jenny2: OK, who gave the freepers the house key? Banhammer nao?
Jenny2: Flagold, is that you reincarnated after the banhammer nailed you?
Please go away. kthnxbai
Jenny2: suck a dick. you bore.
Jenny2: AxmxZ: She’s not a true freeper…she didn’t say “democrat party”
And I want no part of Hillary’s lever…who knows where that thing has been?
Jenny2: but i do like the first half of that URL…Don’t mind if i do!!
AxmxZ: Germans love him, Bitters fear him, Jenny2 rues the day his monkey ass was born, but secretly wants to give his un-unified schlong a wank…
…The Ubermensch will Rise Again!
O Great Gaia, Sara Smith, does the BANHAMMER nail IPs or just profiles? I suspect flagolds and Jenny2s have not the might of proxy.
Jenny2: Why are you asking Obama to do things John McCain can’t, and has no intention of doing?? Socialist agenda? Right - all you retards do is talk in homespun catchwords that don’t mean dick to anyone with an IQ over 95.
Hillary had a near-identical ‘platform’, but you would have voted for her? I thought it was a socialist agenda, you twerp?
But i guess Kanye West was the last straw, for you. Hag.
The lack of intelligent retorts is astounding..
“suck a dick”… “monkey ass”….
Mr/Ms. titty: Please enjoy the government freebies that you suck up from my hard earned tax dollars. I am soooo glad that your ignorance that prevents you from debating someone without the use of high school graffiti phrases is the same ignorance that will statistically make you mistakenly pull the opposite lever than which you intend…
flagold: nope
Jenny2: Please stop posting and get back to work - we at Wonkette need to suck up more of your hard earned tax dollars.
Oh, and by the way, you haven’t said anything that really merits debate.
Jenny2:
Like the free for all capitalism of Bush 2 was a resounding success. Seems that all the economic growth since 2001’s about as fake as the Harvard edumication he received.
Loves the fiscal wisdom of bank collapses and unemployment for all.
Re: Magic twitty
“Hag”
hmmmm….a college educated, full-time working, home owning woman who has been married for a decade and can still fit into her size 4 jeans from college is a “hag”….
wow…. perhaps I needed to be a high school drop out who bore a 1/2 dozen illegitimate children while sitting on a overly large, welfare-fed buttocks to be attractive to you.
Jenny2: If you’re going to vote for Walnuts, by all means please get drunk first. Then, to make things even more interesting, close your eyes.
Jenny2:
Appeal to ignorance.
Guilt by association.
Red herring.
Quoting out of context.
Questionable cause.
Ad hominem.
Hasty generalization.
There are probably others, but I need coffee.
Jenny2: Mr/ Mrs Jenny 2- Why would I debate you? You’re obviously way intelligenterer than I am. I’m not in your league.
I’m not sure why your tax dollars are more hard earned than mine, but ok! Can’t we suck them up together?! You want to share straws?
My suck a dick suggestion was not to be taken as a negative. It was a mere hint that you should unclench every now and again. Although I still love you clenched.
But I have now seen the light. McCain is a unifer. And an economic wizard. Who doesn’t tell rape jokes that offend all. Who knows how to win wars because he fought in one he didn’t win.
magic titty: “I still love you clenched.” Best T-Shirt Evar.
Re: manchucandidate
1. Capitalism is a core sacred principle of the U.S.—to restrain that is to create laziness among the nations occupants (oh wait—too late)
2. And who has large majority control in both the Senate AND the Congress for the past 2 years when the unemployment level skyrocketed— hmmm…I forget
Jenny2:
But who had the control during the fake BS during the 6 years previous? Controlled the agenda for the past 25 when the US went from the largest Creditor nation to the largest debtor?
Jenny2:
Disjunctive syllogism.
Post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Jenny2: While your description of yourself was an incredible turn-on, it remains as the large problem. You’re taking yourself way too seriously here.
But, in an gesture of unprecedented diplomacy, I will address my “enemy” unilaterally and say you are not a HAG, but a stone cold FOX who still can’t figure out that voting for McCain is monstrously ignorant. You would have voted for Nixon in ‘60, wouldnt you? You big silly!
Anyway, we’ll just have to disagree on that one!
Now go post on Politico, where the rest of the ppl neither know their ass from a whole in the wall.
Love ya
Mr. Magic Titty
Jenny2:
“Capitalism is a core sacred principle of the U.S. …”
You need to read a little economic history, Jenny. The only time capitalism flourishes, and thereby works as a means to better society, is when it is well-regulated. Read the history of the 1933 and 1934 securities acts; or read about the depressions of 1837 and 1857; read something besides Free Republic, for Christ’s sake - then, perhaps it’d be worth debating you.
Mr. Titty:
1. Sorry…I think tax dollar sucking is a grotesque past-time.
2. I appreciate your offer to “share a straw”, but after your “suck a dick” comments—I am wondering what/how many other things you sucked before that straw. 25% of sexually active individuals have an STD so—chances are you’d be contaminating anyone who sucked after you (whether straw or otherwise).
3. Again McCain suckz…I love to read sites who post about him bad/good…I give high fives to those who call him an old fart or whatever….but when it comes down to a contest of the old fart or the rookie incompetent Marxist in-training———then good God McCain’s the better choice. Obama is a former drug addict with less than 4 years experience in the United States Senate who has in his time in the Senate NOT authored ONE piece of important legislation.
Jenny2:
Say, wasn’t it Phil Gramm, Repub from Tejas, all round Asshole and economiks advizor for McCain who removed all the regulations that kept stuff like the entirely speculative subprime bomb from happening? Why yes, yes it was. (Enabled by Bubbha Clinton, the dumbass.)
Jenny2:
Marxist in-training? Jenny, really, shut the fuck up. The stupid . . . it burns.
flagold:
“Meanwhile, gasoline is still $4.15 a gallon . . .”
That, of course, has nothing to do with the current administration.
Nothing to do with a war in Iraq. Nothing to do with Phil Gramm,
deregulation, speculators, saber rattling, laws allowing pollution,
laws favoring dirty tech, laws that exempt trucks from clean air regulations,
laws and tax incentives that suppress clean technology and favor fossil fuels.
There is more than enough available wind to power things. Pigs like flagold
have wasted enough of our time.
flagold is a good example of why we need to legalize
retroactive abortion.
flagold: Millennium Development Goals!
Jenny2: You still sound like a hag to me…
He was never an addict…addicts go to rehab…he was a user…much like everyone here…at least all the good posters…
Jenny2: What’s a past-time? Now if you want to know a good pastime, try cornhole…that’s alot of fun…
Ohh Jenny….this Marxist kick is driving us “normals” bonkers.
It’s Marxist/ Leninist. Just like Oswald.
Always fun when twats start throwing ye olde “Marxist” label around.
Marxist Shparkshist. Say what you like but The Karlmeister’s reduction of capitalism was spot on in Das Kapital. Just a pity he fucked it all up with all that Communist Manifesto shit.
Oh and Jenny2, you’re a prick.
Jenny2 is either a ‘bitter’
or someone who thought the New Yorker cover was a real portrait of the Obamas.
Bonus points await you at McCain’t . com!
I am surprised that some of you homos can type marxist with the one hand you don’t have on your boyfriends pole. Flagold is right on the money, who cares about who gambles what. Is it illegal? No, but you bag of dicks sit here all cute running your pie hole showing your ignorance about what really matters. And I doubt whoever made the IQ above 95 mark I doubt scores it himself. You guys are lazy, bums and we need a good war on our homeland to clean some of you douchebags off the genetic table and show you how soft you guys really are. It would be ironic to see Darwin’s Theory actually work for once and clear the weak in mind and body.
Ban Flagold and Jenny2? That would figure, don’t want anyone to challenge you to actually do something like read, or earn a living, etc.
Truth: I’m not a homo, but my boyfriend is…and here comes the banhammer!!!
Fuck: when did they start giving Internet access to the bastard offspring of Ayn Rand and the dudes in Deliverance?
Re: mooworthjwilson
1. “He was never an addict…addicts go to rehab…he was a user…much like everyone here…at least all the good posters…”….—-This admittance to drug use by the majority does explain your current political mindset. My condolences on frying your brain cells so that you are unable to comprehend the threat of an Obama administration.
2. “I’m not a homo, but my boyfriend is…”…..—this might explain why you think I am a “hag”… Do females scare you in general or are you just mad that we fill out a dress better?
————————————
Re: Randomsausage
Wow, “twat” & “prick”… you sure put me in my place… So, are you saying I am a hermaphrodite? or is your liberal indecision getting in the way of your choice of insults?
******************************************
So, I would like to thank all of you for the ever-so-kind welcome you have given me. All of you who have called me names and told me to “suck dicks” and questioned my IQ….yes, I completely understand your support for B. Hussein Obama who claims he wants to UNIFY this country. You all have proven my point on liberal hypocrisy. You rant about Republicans being “HATERS” and not accepting and yet when one comes to your site for discussion—I was told to “f*ck off”, get out and go elsewhere.
I leave you with the contemplation of your own hypocrisy and hatred. But don’t worry, I am sure B. Hussein Obama will want to start a federal program to give you all money for being victimized by your own liberal contempt–it’s on his 20 point socialist plan.
Jenny2: Yup - you’re a twat and a dick. All. Bases. Covered.
Jenny2: I’ve offered several beginning points for a debate with you, yet you continue to harp on the name-calling, etc. posts. What is it about a real debate that scares you?
Jenny2: Thanks. This happily married feminist male just got the response that made his day. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA You so funny.
Craps. that’s such an elitist sport. you have to stand, interact with people, not just an dump money into a slot and pull a one-arm like real salt of the earth people.
Borat: When are they going to make a Hillary slot machine? One that has an animatronic version of her on top that points and claps and laughs when you hit the jackpot? The bitters would love that!!!
mookworthjwilson:
Only problem with a Hilsbot slot machine is no matter what combination of pantsuits, Crown Royal shots and Rifles, you always lose.
Hi I am new to Wonkette. I dont get involved in poilitics but this time I want to vote. This is the first I have heard of McCain having gambling issues. As a mother of 2 and the daughter of a former compulsive gambler….this is a big concern for me. Why hasnt the media reported this?
Truth: Yeah, right.
A few points here. I listed the obvious fallacies in the stupid posts by Miss Jenny, who I’m assuming lacks any real skill in abstract of formal thinking. No sin to be stupid, but, well, she’s stupid.
Your “You’re all soft” and “good war on the homeland” challenges (reminiscent, perhaps, of Lindbergh and the rhetoric of the German-American Bund) suggest a category error: THIS IS THE INTERNET. Soft-serve limp dicks (like you) and slag-whore smug hausfraus with mail-order degrees from puppy-mills (Jenny) talk tough or feign indignance or spout circularly reasoned platitudes and misinformation. Neither have a place here (unless they reference buttsecs), in much the way that the directions of the compass would be without value (pragmatic or absolute) in deep space. For all you know I might be eight feet tall, a former Marine, and a blackbelt college professor with three post-graduate degrees, whose DNA is so lusciously attractive that strangers solicit me to donate sperm. Or I might be a legless retard with fragile X and no penis wearing panty-hose on my head.
No matter. As your profile name suggests (”Truth,” yeah, that’s not fatuous and self-important!), no one will ever find you, or they will find their own version of you, or . . . It’s past five, and a pitcher of Wonkettini awaits.
RuperttheBear: Calm down, Rupert, and let me try. Mr. Flagold, Mr. Truth, Ms. Jenny. This site is not a site where argumentation reigns. The Dialectic does not obtain here. We are not interested in debating with you. This is a JOKE site. We mock any and everything and usually from a liberal viewpoint. We mock only. That’s ALL we do. Nothing else. We don’t debate (at least not here). Now please go to Freep or somewhere and fight the good fight some place else. Thank you.
Now go away.
king333:
Not only is McCain a compulsive gambler, he used to be a two pack a day smoker and a drinker. So, all that stimulates the time at the gaming tables.
Cindys father, Hensley, was a business partner of Kemper Marley, a top mob boss for the Las Vegas/Phoenix mafia. A reporter was killed by a car bomb investigating the Kemper Marley and Hensleys investment in Ruidoso Race Track in New Mexico.
Combover: well said…and something i occasionally forget myself…[my snark has been alluding me for days]…
Would not be at all surprised if McCain chose Cindy,
out of all the other women he was chasing at the time,
because she had great insider access to the tables in Las Vegas from her fathers business connections.
It was, back then, the only place where gambling was legal in America.
Perks, my friends.
Combover: Sorry. 4 Real. I’m a legless retard with fragile X and no penis wearing panty-hose on my head.
RuperttheBear: Don’t apologize. After what the Bush-fucks have done to the country? I hereby remove the panty hose and restore your penis. (I did like the shot about the puppy mill. They grant degrees?)
Anabellum: If you have a snark then let it go. If it comes back to you then it’s a beautiful thing…
You know who denied being a Marxist? Marx. True story.