• May 26, 2012

John McCain, Gentleman Scholar

by Sara K. Smith  11:19 am July 16, 2008

Here is a video clip of John McCain declaring that he graduated fifth from the bottom of his class in the Naval Academy. This is supposed to make all you elitists turn purple with rage that such a terrible slacker would ever dare to run for president, when in fact it just shows that John McCain was cool, once: too cool for school, in fact, in the years before school was officially invented. The bit about his wife having to turn on his computer for him is just embarrassing, though. [YouTube via AmericaBlog]

{ 34 comments }

JeffGoldblum July 16, 2008 at 11:21 am

We have a Naval Academy now? Gay.

nbawriter July 16, 2008 at 11:22 am

Ha! His Coolidge self-crack was funny … except that it stole my thunder.

I’ll have to stash Rutherford B. Hayes for another time.

DarkSynergy July 16, 2008 at 11:23 am

He tried clapping twice, but the PC wouldn’t boot.

MrAgro July 16, 2008 at 11:23 am

“ROBOT HOUUUUUSE!”

stolichnayaaa July 16, 2008 at 11:25 am

This guy would be much more entertaining if there was zero chance that he could be president of the U-nited States. I feel much the same way about our current president.

SayItWithWookies July 16, 2008 at 11:27 am

He doesn’t know if he uses a Mac or a PC? I’ll bet that’s because half the time he’s trying to log on to the microwave.

Banzai77 July 16, 2008 at 11:28 am

Way to go, Moran!

nbawriter July 16, 2008 at 11:29 am

He got an F in Sloop engineering.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 16, 2008 at 11:29 am

I think i read somewhere that Cindy can order a case of Vicodin and a new black baby in under 30 sec. Impressive.

DieOnTheTurnpike July 16, 2008 at 11:33 am

When McCain needs computer help, does he hit the cuntrol button to summon that trollop ferrin’ beer selling wife of his?

RuperttheBear July 16, 2008 at 11:35 am

The troubling point, as always, is describing the target audience. McCain is appealing to stupid people who make it a point to dislike smart people.

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 16, 2008 at 11:37 am

[re=37228]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I doubt he’s even upgraded to microwave yet. He probably still uses an Amana Radarange.

tsunami July 16, 2008 at 11:38 am

you can’t make that stuff up.

thank goodness foreigners are well, foreign, so they don’t see what goes
on in the good ‘ol usa.

it’s not bad enough that mcstupid is such a dope, it’s that more
than 2 people are going to vote for that asshole to be prez…after bush!

hell…75% of repugs think iraq is going “well.” compared to what?…
hiroshima after the bomb?

i can’t take it any more and it’s only july.

sorry for the lack of humor. aarrrrgh.

jagorev July 16, 2008 at 11:39 am

[re=37232]nbawriter[/re]: He did manage a gentleman’s C in both counter-piratery and yardarm management.

SayItWithWookies July 16, 2008 at 11:39 am

So he was 894th out of 899 in his class? Not a big deal — George Armstrong Custer was last in his class at West Point, so that’s no determination of success. Oh, wait.

Rodney Badger July 16, 2008 at 11:40 am

I like to mute McCain videos that have him moving around and stuff. Then I turn on Mr. Roboto and dance along. It’s new and chill. I yell “Turn it out McAinamatronic” at the screen because that is his Break Dance Name.

Thanatopsis July 16, 2008 at 11:40 am

WALNUTS! is a Mac user – here’s a picture of his laptop:

http://www.switchingtomac.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/firstapple.jpg

This was an upgrade after he made the big switch from his old PC:

http://www.evanagee.com/images/blog/pc_of_future.jpg

SuperRounder July 16, 2008 at 11:41 am

This totally explains the Czechoslovakia thing.

Monsieur Grumpe July 16, 2008 at 11:41 am

What is it with the Republicans and their need to revel in their stupidity?

NebraskashireGentry July 16, 2008 at 11:46 am

won’t this help him?

I, like most Americans, hesitate to elect a President who will make me feel like I couldn’t do his job.

madirishman July 16, 2008 at 11:52 am

[re=37246]SayItWithWookies[/re]: General George Pickett of the Army of Virginia finished dead last in his class at West Point–and he had a WONDERFUL day at Gettysburg.

As for Walnuts–at least he didn’t mention how Cindy has to dress and feed him every morning.

[re=37250]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. And now dissent is terrorism.

madirishman July 16, 2008 at 12:01 pm

[re=37253]NebraskashireGentry[/re]: Not me. I want the guy with the nuclear codes to be MUCH smarter and wiser than me. And Walnuts ain’t it! The jury’s still out on Hopey.

For that matter, I can’t imagine why someone would WANT to be President–on the job 24/7/365, everybody second-guessing you, third-world tinpots trying to take a chunk out of your hide, home-grown nutcases wanting to shoot you, living in the Secret Service bubble the rest of your life. I’m surprised more Presidents haven’t died in office from heart attack or stroke.

Maybe Walnuts has a death wish?

Combover July 16, 2008 at 12:15 pm

[re=37248]Thanatopsis[/re]: That second picture has a steering wheel??!! WTF?!!

Gopherit v2.0 July 16, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Our last slacker president worked out great.

ManchuCandidate July 16, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Walnuts would have succeeded if he had Lou Gossett Jr as his DI.

Lascauxcaveman July 16, 2008 at 12:57 pm

[re=37248]Thanatopsis[/re]: Yeah, that was back in the good ol’ days, when you had to cut down an apple tree to get the wood to make a real apple computer. And we wore an onion on our belts, which was the custom of the time.

Damn! I want one of those Rand corp PC’s. That big chrome steering wheel, sweet!

1ofUS July 16, 2008 at 1:08 pm

The C students will inherit the earth.

BobLoblawLawBlog July 16, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Is he trying to court the votes of anti-nuke hippies like me by claiming he wouldn’t be able to push the button because he’s technologically retarded and/or arthritic?

Thanatopsis July 16, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[re=37283]Combover[/re]: Yes, the steering wheel is the original Wii controller; works for Poll Position, too.

[re=37332]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: It was right after his friend, George W. (the Original) chopped down a cherry tree to make some teeth.

gurukalehuru July 16, 2008 at 2:47 pm

If Cindy’s the one who is,literally, pushing the buttons, then I reckon Cindy oughta be steppin’ up to the plate to answer some questions, the trollop.

Borat July 16, 2008 at 3:27 pm

So he didn’t study hard enough to fly his plane, which he crashed in Nam, got caught, didn’t leave when they offered, and we are supposed to feel sorry for this mcdick

pondscum July 16, 2008 at 3:35 pm

[re=37270]madirishman[/re]: I don’t get it either. They also get paid CRAP! I guess there are the book deals and speaking that follow…

Mo MoDo July 16, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Way to distance yourself from Chimpy, John. Anything he can do, you can do worse.

RuperttheBear July 16, 2008 at 10:40 pm

[re=37363]1ofUS[/re]: Ugh. Evolution = Lowest Common Survivanator.

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