• May 26, 2012

Hillary Clinton Will Never Stop Running For Public Office

by Sara K. Smith  9:36 am July 16, 2008

Never say never!Hillary Clinton will never give up and never stop fighting for you, which is why she’s trying to roll her 2008 presidential election fund into her 2012 Senate re-election fund! She’s sending out letters to supporters who maxed out their contributions, asking them if she can hang onto their money for 2012, and if they don’t say “yes” by August 28 she will have to give it back, which will make the baby Jesus cry. Plus, a new poll shows that she’s the only candidate who can beat John McCain in the fall! It’s true.

A daily Rasmussen tracking poll shows that if Clinton were still running she’d be up by eight points against McCain, while an imaginary Al Gore would be beating John McCain by seven. The actual (presumptive) nominee leads McCain by only FOUR percent.

Hillary Clinton should be elected president twice, simultaneously.

Hillary Clinton launches fundraising for 2012 already! [Top of the Ticket]
Hillary Clinton Asks To Keep Donor Money for 2012 [New York Observer]
Daily Presidential Tracking Poll [Rasmussen Reports]

{ 38 comments }

jagorev July 16, 2008 at 9:44 am

That’s well and good, but how is McCain faring against zombie FDR? The Democrats made a huge mistake this year by not nominating zombie FDR.

tsunami July 16, 2008 at 9:46 am

i’ll send her monopoly money for her fake-ass candidacy.

ManchuCandidate July 16, 2008 at 9:46 am

The Rasmussen poll also states that McCain is only beating George Michael and the Indian kid but far behind Steve Holt.

Borat July 16, 2008 at 9:47 am

she deserves the money. she deserves more money even. i see another book advance in play. we can send bill out to work on a gas contract between the gloious nation of kahzakhstan and czechoslovakia. don’t forget money is bad, unless its hillz money

Elitist Republican Tard July 16, 2008 at 9:52 am

Who the hell is Hillary Clinton?

Serolf Divad July 16, 2008 at 9:56 am

I’m just praying that McCain will nominate Mittens to be his running mate. That’ll make everything all-right again.

Also, if McCain becomes pres, I’m selling everything I own and pouring the proceeds into Chey and Brilliance.

DoctorCulturae July 16, 2008 at 10:00 am

Ah! Cover your eyes! Not the pants suit again!

Actually, anyone who wears this t-shirt will be a mightily attractive bitter.

Donkey Sauce July 16, 2008 at 10:00 am

Too bad American dollars will be valueless by 2012 and we’ll have converted to a dead polar bear-based economy. Good lookin’ out, Hillz.

Darehead July 16, 2008 at 10:01 am

[re=37150]Serolf Divad[/re]: My friends swear by the Chery. There will be factories in Tennessee and Kentucky soon.

Darehead July 16, 2008 at 10:03 am

[re=37153]DoctorCulturae[/re]: After looking at Barney Slim Slacks all month, I’m ready for the pantsuits again. They came in a lot of colors and styles.

WadISay July 16, 2008 at 10:07 am

Pretty much liberals are going to have buyer’s remorse about almost anything they do. I, for example, am deeply ashamed and rueful about the cranberry scone I pounded down earlier this morning.

Servo July 16, 2008 at 10:07 am

Executive Class tickets to Denver aren’t cheap.

graceless July 16, 2008 at 10:10 am

Why is the slim slack girl still wearing only purple? It says they come in over twenty colors, do they mean over twenty colors of purple?

Banzai77 July 16, 2008 at 10:12 am

She’s worked SO HARD!!!

Rodney Badger July 16, 2008 at 10:19 am

They’re talking about her tits on MSNBC right now. True story.

RuperttheBear July 16, 2008 at 10:27 am

[re=37155]Darehead[/re]: Don’t trade in your Pinto yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kQGAK550LE

Serolf Divad July 16, 2008 at 10:30 am

[re=37155]Darehead[/re]:

Yeah… unfortunately they won’t be employing anyone over 12 years of age.

shortsshortsshorts July 16, 2008 at 10:33 am

WERE IN IT TO WIN IT AND THAT IS IT.

graceless July 16, 2008 at 10:42 am

[re=37143]tsunami[/re]: I think that’s a great idea. Everybody, send Hillz fake money, for her fake candidacy. Let the Bitters bitch about that for a while…

Serolf Divad July 16, 2008 at 10:44 am

[re=37169]RuperttheBear[/re]:

Yeah, right now the Chinese auto industry is sort of the anti-regulatory, anti-nanny-state Libertarian/Ron-Paul wet-dream, and so their cars are the embodiment of the sort of awesomemness that obtains when government gets out of the way and allows the John Galts of the world to ply their trade unmolested.

But they’ll shape up when they have to build cars that meet US Govt. crash regulations.

LBOtomist July 16, 2008 at 10:46 am

Sorry for belaboring the obvious, but who the fuck put Hilary in full body profile on a t-shirt? Are you serious? Why didn’t they make it a white t-shirt with purple writing, at least that way they could get some crossover donations from internet savvy Barney fans. Wtf.

gurukalehuru July 16, 2008 at 10:47 am

If somebody has $100 million, how can they be $20 million in debt? That’s not debt. That’s called stiffing your creditors.

allstateslose July 16, 2008 at 10:51 am

Because the FEC doesn’t let her repay the $20 million with the $100 million.

Lazy Media July 16, 2008 at 10:55 am

[re=37190]Serolf Divad[/re]: The Communist-state-run Chery factory is the embodiment of libertarian entrepreneurism? Awesomeness = low-quality copy of a 10-year-old Daewoo?

On the other hand, any car company owned by a city called Wuhu sounds pretty fun.

Serolf Divad July 16, 2008 at 11:17 am

[re=37197]Lazy Media[/re]:
The Communist-state-run Chery factory is the embodiment of libertarian entrepreneurism?

Yeah, pretty much. Chinese Communism today is to Communism as Ethylene Glycol is to Mountain Dew. Any similarites are merely superficial. It’s an odd reversal of the days when you could spot the Communist dictatorships by looking at which countries’ names began with the phrase “Democratic Republic Of…”

nbawriter July 16, 2008 at 11:25 am

Every time I see that shirt, I just think that someone is going to use that silhouette to create a mold for the Hillary Clinton ass vibrator.

Sussemilch July 16, 2008 at 11:28 am

We were |that| close to being rickrolled.

edgydrifter July 16, 2008 at 11:36 am

I started reading the shirt but got bored and quit about halfway through. Who knew the bitters were so windbaggy?

Sean O July 16, 2008 at 11:38 am

Undoubtedly the worst shirt design I’ve ever seen (with a total lack of marketing appeal; who would wear it?), and there are like four hot topics and spencers at my local mall.

Just horrible.

itgetter July 16, 2008 at 11:51 am

[re=37142]jagorev[/re]: He would definitely win, what with his plan for a Civilian Conservation Corpse.

*crickets*

Clovis July 16, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Where is the market? I’d love to see a photo of the first person caught in public sporting this little number. Seems to be an overlapping seam between those with disposable income and them as will send it to a multi-millionaire hustler. Meaning, those dumb enough to do that have usually already been taken for all they’re worth.

FreshCliches July 16, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Even in silhouette, the cankles shine through.

ReelectTilden July 16, 2008 at 1:24 pm

[re=37142]jagorev[/re]: Is zombie FDR still in a wheelchair? ‘Cause if not, he would romp.

1ofUS July 16, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Hey if the pant suits you, slobber uber alles.

cs11 July 16, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=37144]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Steve Holt is a bastard.

Lazy Media July 16, 2008 at 2:43 pm

[re=37216]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yeah, they’re not your father’s Communists, but that doesn’t mean they do anything innovative. Everything that comes out of a Chinese factory is either a basic commodity, or something pirated from REAL capitalist companies (see the Chery QQ). The joke in China is that R&D stands for “Receive and Duplicate.”

It’s basically fascism now; lots of actual free enterprise at the micro, retailer level, state-subsidized mercantilism at the heavy industry/export level, all run by a corrupt, authoritarian mafia. The only reason they have such a high growth rate is that they were starting at zero.

jagorev July 16, 2008 at 2:50 pm

[re=37547]Lazy Media[/re]: I’ve never really seen any difference between fascism and Paultardian libertarianism, since both basically lead to rule by corporations.

OuterBoroughPrincess July 16, 2008 at 3:34 pm

I’m assuming this appeal is going to people who maxed out on contributions earmarked for the general election. Shouldn’t she be asking those people to let her use the funds to pay back her primary debtors? But, I guess then she wouldn’t be able to have so much fun extorting Barry’s supporters for the money. She’s neat-o terrific.

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