Letters from a nut ...
Everybody in California’s 26th congressional district got this crazy-ass ALL CAPS hand-written freakout from beloved conservative bachelor David Dreier today. You can read the second page of ALL CAPS “MUST DRILL 4 OIL AT SEA WORLD OR ISLAMO FASCISTS WILL KILL KILL KILL” in the comments of basically all blogs everywhere.

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  1. David Dreier is a Paul tard? I did not know that. Seriously though, these republicans would drill in Disneyland if they could make their oil buddies richer. We’re used to it out here, but this shit sells like hotcakes in the red states. Even California republicans think this is wingnutty…and that’s saying something, because we’ve got republicans that think Arnold is a GREAT governor.

  2. After a careful analysis of the handwriting, I can confidently conclude that he was engaged in some serious buttsex while composing this magnum opus.

  3. Just like putting dirty ads on craigslist in upper case type won’t get you dick, David Drier, putting your “drill for oil in Malibu” BS in upper type won’t get you Mr and Mrs Roper’s votes either.

  4. [re=36985]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: You’re right! “Here’s what I believe we need to OD: two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.

    Not that we’ll need all that at once. But I really just want to make sure we do it right.”

  5. Does the letter also suggest we look for our f***ing precious cat, and if we haven’t noticed it around recently, it might be found buried underneath the front porch you cheating loser!!!

  6. [re=36993]AxmxZ[/re]: you forgot the dope…that is, unless
    you’re too squeemish. and leapers; did you skip the leapers?

    oh, right…call me if you need help with all that.

    p.s. the ether is a nice touch.

  7. I’m moving to his district just so I can vote for him. This tard is definitely the answer to ALL THAT IS WRONG IN WASHINGTON!!!!111!!!!!

  8. Some of his lines go up and some down, which signifies that he is a flip-flopper.
    Also, the last line of his big E’s are too short, which signifies that he practices early withdrawal.

  9. [re=36970]masterdebater[/re]: Drilling in Disneyland? No, we need to liberate the poor oppressed masses of the Disney regime! I say we bomb the fuck out of it! I can all but guarantee you they have a nuclear weapons program at least as advanced as North Korea.

  10. You East Coast Wankers have to realize with what you are dealing.

    California’s 26th Congressional District is way out in the San Gabriel Valley, where it’s hot as hades; there are no jobs; real estate values are in the toilet, and EVERYBODY has to DRIVE to get someplace else that is more semi-habitable, e.g., L.A.

    So the Fine Folks From The 26th would approve shoving a Hughes Tool Co. diamond-studded drill bit up the behind of a cherubic 9 month old baby if they thought it would bring gas prices down.

    If you don’t believe me, consider this: Rancho Cucamonga is one of the larger “cities” in the 26th. (I kid you not.)

    And the demographics look like this:
    Median Household Income: $68,968 (most of which is generated by meth labs)

    8.4% are below the poverty line (that’s the National poverty line. Applying California Cost of Living standards, it’s more like 40%


    17.3% blue collar (i.e., no teeth bikers who buy the meth)
    70.7% white collar (tweeker lab techs)
    As of 2002, there are 639,088 people in the 26th District of California.

    35.4% are registered Democratic (White trash)
    46.4% are registered Republican (More white trash)
    5.2% are African American (Running scared from The Man)
    16.7% are Asian-American (Running scared to school)
    24.4% are Hispanic (Running scared from La Migra)

    David Dreier is PERFECT for them.

  11. [re=37034]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Sure. Environmentally Responsible Drilling, in honor of our dear departed George Carlin. Like “Jumbo Shrimp”.

  12. [re=37039]Neilist[/re]: You realize he’s my congressman, right? (The 26th also covers hundreds of square miles of sparsely populated alpine forest and high desert.)

  13. Hey, snaps for hyphenation on “tyran-nical” —- um.


    or, Reagan’s memoirs — George Carlin was truly one of a kind.

  14. [re=37044]Ken Layne[/re]:

    Oh, my! Sorry, Mr. Layne, I do hold you in high esteem, but– (sigh) didn’t realize you are White Trash?!? Or are you bonding w/thetweeker lab coats?

    Don’t worry — My district (duh!) being in a Southern state which shall remain unnamed is also heavily *Republican*.. which is why I take every opportunity to tell our local Big Mule Drivers to ah, take a hike (she weakly said)… (afraid her masters will come After Her).

    BTW I proudly admit to being white trash.. Somebody who reads and writes Has to interpret for the parents, you know.

  15. [re=37044]Ken Layne[/re]: No, Ken, I didn’t.

    God help you.

    Don’t get me wrong: I like to shoot and hike out there.

    But there really ARE a LOT of meth labs out there.

    (Nothing like having a couple of biker-types start to walk up to you, only to turn around when you pull your pre-ban M-16 Heavy Barrel out of the truck cab: “MORNING, there! Help you gentlemen?”)

  16. [re=36970]masterdebater[/re]: “David Dreier is a Paultard?” Nope. Paul Lind ia he, and he is Paul Lind. This ia the rule of symmetry in the Grecian baths.

  17. What’s sad is that he obviously had to have the text printed out for him so he could pretend it was inscribed by hand in a fit of inspiration, with out any blotting or cross-outs. The only question is whether the original copy/paste from which the handwritten version was copied was itself an example of plagiarism. Because add those circumstances to a closeted gay going on and on about drilling, and it must amount to some kind of Republican trifecta.

  18. Which one of the Bereson Bears held the note brfore the Kodak? The least gay one?

    Yet Cheney awaits: it will be yummy-licious ursine stew for family, friends and loyal retainers from now until to the top of October, just before the start of old-guy, buckshot to the face, huntimg-time.

  19. Kinda reminds me of something Chief Inspector Dreyfus might write with his toes if he ever got “KILL CLOUSEAU!” out of his system.

  20. [re=36993]AxmxZ[/re]: Ah, that’s fine stuff. I miss the old gonzo bastard.

    I can’t wait until gas hits $8+ gallon, because that’s when we’ll start eating our young. I kinda think it would be nice to let all this hit rock bottom, with oil rigs at every beach, ANWR a greasy wasteland, and gas still going through the roof. What’s that, toothless wingnut halfwits? You thought adding some infinitesimal amount of oil to the global supply would bring prices down? Surprise! Then we’ll find out just whose bitches we really are.

    And does it say at the very bottom, “… in ANWR, and we should live coastal”? “LIVE coastal”? what’s that?

    Jesus, is it beer o’clock yet?

  21. [re=37064]Mr Blifil[/re]: While the “scrawled” look gives it a bit of atmosphere, I think that going with the “underground” misaligned, second-generation photocopies would have given the effort more… gravitas than putting it on office stationery.

  22. The 26th used to be represented by Dems, including James Roosevelt and Sam Yorty. The 2000 census and redistricting changed that. The district goes well beyond the San Gabriel Valley into the San Bernardino Valley, where lay Rancho Cucamonga, which is home to a very upscale mall, Victoria Gardens, and some nice new housing (though prices have fallen at least 20 percent, not that you could find a buyer). The gap-tooth methhead set is more in the High Desert and out by yours truly in the Pass Area and Morongo Valley (they make Rancho Cucamonga look like Santa Monica), where there is still room to hide a lab. The Congresspeople out here are Jerry Lewis and Mary Bono Mack, about as different as two Republicans can be in their work ethic, but equally dismal ideologically.

  23. To be fair, he IS spelling everything right.

    And his handwriting is actually better than mine.

    But he’s a congressman, and I’m a drunken retard commenter.

    So we’re basically the same.

  24. We know he isn’t a Paultard because the first sentence doesn’t read as follows: “ON JULY FOURTH WE CELABRATED THE INDEPENDANCE THAT WAS DECLARED BY OUR FOUNDING FATHER’S ON JULY 4, 1776.”

  25. [re=37101]CometHasTheFloor[/re]: From the door handles in that picture, I’d say he’s riding in a BMW 325i convertible.


  26. Just replace “WE” with “I”, “4 OIL AT SEA WORLD” with “1 OF THE JONAS BROTHERS” and “OR ISLAMO FASCISTS WILL KILL KILL KILL” with “UNTIL I SEE JESUS TOO” and you begin to understand: This is not a rant written by some raving, closeted loon; it’s an ode written by some raving, closeted loon.

  27. I wonder if this is your congressman if you live in Fontana for that matter. There’s a lot of people out there who’d love to put the hurt on that gull-cuddling Susan Sarandon by making her cry all over her crude-oil smeared clothes.
    What kills me is how many people have to be reminded of Santa Barbara 1969. It wasn’t that long ago. The locals still have to dip their feet in a tub of gasoline after they walk on the beach. Some of these Republican polluters-to-be remember that spill, certainly, which is why they come up with ridiculous phraseology like “environmentally safe drilling.” Bastards. This is all grandstanding to make them look like they’re doing something, when they’re doing nothing but laughing up their sleeves while they secretly make a mint.

  28. [re=37110]loquaciousmusic[/re]:
    From the door handles in that picture, I’d say he’s riding in a BMW 325i convertible.



    House Meets At…

    10:00 a.m.: Legislative Business

    Fifteen “One Minutes” Per Side

    H.R. 5959 – FY09 Intelligence Authorization Act (Rep. Reyes – Intelligence) (Subject to a Rule) Title: To authorize appropriations for fiscal year 2009 for intelligence and intelligence-related activities of the United States Government, the Community Management Account, and the Central Intelligence Agency Retirement and Disability System, and for other purposes.

    H.R. 415 – To amend the Wild and Scenic Rivers Act to designate segments of the Taunton River in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts as a component of the National Wild and Scenic Rivers (Rep. Frank – Natural Resources) (Subject to a Rule)

    Postponed Suspension Vote (1 Bill)

    1) H.Con.Res. 295 – Expressing the deepest appreciation of Congress to the families of members of the United States Armed Forces (Rep. Bilirakis – Armed Services)

    A busy, busy day in the Democrat controlled Congress, 15 minutes of 1 minute speeches, 2 votes, kick one can down the road, and go home (hate to sound partisan, but they were put in power in 2006 — and so they get to set the agenda and what comes before Congress) . . .

    Meanwhile, gasoline is still $4.15 a gallon . . .

    No drilling leases authorized – no nuclear powerplants – no refineries – no coal – no alternatives – nothing . . .

    What they did yesterday: Tuesday, July 15, 2008:

    Gasoline at $4.15 a gallon avg. and here’s what they’re concentrating on (note the bill they suspended at the bottom . . .):

    H.R. 4049 – Money Service Business Act of 2007 (Rep. Maloney – Financial Services)

    H.R. 6455 – To require the Secretary of the Treasury to mint coins in commemoration of the 50th anniversary of the establishment of the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (Rep. Jackson-Lee – Financial Services)

    S. 3145 – A bill to designate a portion of United States Route 20A, located in Orchard Park, New York, as the “Timothy J. Russert Highway” (Sen. Clinton – Transportation and Infrastructure)

    S. 496 – The Appalachian Regional Development Act Amendments of 2008 (Sen. Voinovich – Transportation and Infrastructure)

    H.Con.Res. 299 – Supporting the goals and ideals of National Cystic Fibrosis Awareness Month (Rep. Markey – Energy and Commerce)

    H.Res. 1259 – Congratulating the Hamilton College Continentals on winning the NCAA Division III women’s lacrosse championship (Rep. Arcuri – Education and Labor)

    H.Res. 1088 – Recognizing and commending the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater for 50 years of service as a vital American cultural ambassador to the world (Rep. Nadler – Education Labor)

    H.Res. 1323 – Commending the Arizona State University softball team for their victory in the 2008 Women’s College World Series (Rep. Mitchell – Education and Labor)

    H.Res. 1327 – Congratulating the 2008 National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Division I Baseball Champions, the Fresno State Bulldogs, on an outstanding and historic season (Rep. Nunes – Education and Labor)

    H.Res. 1261 – Congratulating East High School in Denver, Colorado, on winning the 2008 “We the People: The Citizen and the Constitution” national competition (Rep. DeGette – Education and Labor)

    H.Res. 1090 – Honoring the esteemed former President Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela on the occasion of his 90th birthday (Rep. Jefferson – Foreign Affairs)

    H.Con.Res. 385 – Condemning the attack on the AMIA Jewish Community Center in Buenos Aires, Argentina, in July 1994 (Rep. Ros-Lehtinen – Foreign Affairs).

    H.Con.Res. _ – Providing for the concurrence by the House in the Senate amendment to H.R. 3890 – Burma Democracy Promotion Act of 2007 with amendments (Rep. Lantos – Foreign Affairs)

    H.R. 3032 – To amend the Federal Election Campaign Act of 1971 to permit candidates for election for Federal office to designate an individual who will be authorized to disburse funds of the authorized campaign committees of the candidate in the event of the death of the candidate (Rep. Jones (NC) – House Administration)

    H.R. 6296 – To extend through 2013 the authority of the Federal Election Commission to impose civil money penalties on the basis of a schedule of penalties established and published by the Commission (Rep. Brady (PA) – House Administration)

    H.R. 5803 – To direct the Election Assistance Commission to establish a program to make grants to participating States and units of local government which will administer the regularly scheduled general election for Federal office held in November 2008 for carrying out a program to make backup paper ballots available in the case of the failure of a voting system or voting equipment in the election or some other emergency situation, and for other purposes (Rep. Lofgren – House Administration)

    Possible Vote to Override the President’s Veto of H.R. 6331 – Medicare Improvements for Patients and Providers Act of 2008 (Rep. Dingell/Rangel – Energy and Commerce/Ways and Means)

    Possible Vote to Refer Kucinich Privileged Resolution Regarding an Article of Impeachment against the President to Committee of Jurisdiction (Judiciary)

    [b]Postponed Suspension Vote (1 Bill)

    H.Con.Res. 295 – Expressing the deepest appreciation of Congress to the families of members of the United States Armed Forces (Rep. Bilirakis – Armed Services)[/b]

    Remember these nitwits in November and what they’re doing to you with their drilling ban.

  30. [re=37199]flagold[/re]: Well, thank god they were addressing S. 3145 and the question of naming a highway after St. Tim of Russert.

    What’s next: Equivalent bills for Tony Snow and Benazir Bhutto? (They could name the Capitol cops’ shooting range after the latter, couldn’t they? Or would the NTSA building be a better choice?)

  31. Vote to Override the President’s Veto of H.R. 6331 – Medicare Improvements for Patients and Providers Act of 2008 (Rep. Dingell/Rangel – Energy and Commerce/Ways and Means)

    This is pretty major, as health care costs are probably going to bankrupt you well before the cost of oil will. This will affect Medicare payments TODAY, since the physician’s cut went into effect July 1st. Dropping the offshore drilling ban will affect gas prices in 2015. Keep on thinking it’s the offshore drilling and not political policies for the past 7 years (and longer) in the middle east that are the reason you’re paying for $4 gas. What does the black gold kool-aid taste like?

  32. Here’s what the “kool-aid” tastes like (and I really hope you view those videos):

    Subject: Know Any Floridians To Send This To?

    Whatever you think of President Bush, he did FINALLY lift the ban on offshore drilling today.

    Our Senator, Bill Nelson (or should we start calling him “King Nelson” or “Lord Nelson”) of Florida, today in response to the ban being lifted: “The waters off Florida will not be drilled.”

    What? Someone actually does something that might lower prices, employ people here at home, and insure taxes paid will be used to rebuild our roads, schools, and infrastructure instead of some other country’s roads, schools, and infrastructure, and he has to oppose it because he’s in another party?

    Is that what we want? Do we really want $6, 20, 60 dollar gas? I hope you will join with me in getting this entrenched “Lord” converted back to serfdom where he belongs. We are in a serious situation and it deserves serious minded people right now, not pandering princes of the environmental lobby.

    China has leased many square miles of ocean off Cuba, and they didn’t do it for lobster farming — they are going to drill the Gulf. Lord Nelson instructs us that we cannot . . .

    How’s this for an idea: let’s get serious minded people elected who will do everything in their power to get us out of dependency, and that includes drilling our own oil.

    Thank you,

    Matt Mattson

    Two quick videos on Nelson & energy should you care to view them:

    Energy – Texas:

  33. [re=37260]flagold[/re]: How exactly do you imagine domestic drilling is going to prevent further rises in gas prices? I’m just curious. Do you have a patent for new super-speedy extraction and refinement technology up your sleeve that you’re keeping secret from everyone? If so, can I be your friend?

  34. I note China, Russia, Brazil, and Mexico aren’t concerned with such questions — they’re drilling.

    How long will it take to erect windmills and convert to natural gas? Overnight? How long will it take to convert to a hydrogen economy? Overnight?

    If you view the film above (Energy-Texas) you’ll see that irrigation of our farmlands out west is not taking place. Farmers can’t afford fuel in lots as the lot price increases (8-10,000 gallons) faster than they can pay. Same for gasoline stations – in the making of that film I ran across many that had no gas because the lot prices went up faster than they could pay.

    Alternative solutions are fine — wind if doubled would account for 4% of our nation’s energy needs . . .

    Unfortunately, irrigation runs on diesel, not dreams of wind in 10 – 20 years, and the people that starve because we didn’t drill will begin doing so this year in the 3rd world and here as well if we’re not careful.

  35. [re=37290]flagold[/re]:


    (singing to tune of Gigantor music) BANHAMMER! BANHAMMER!

  36. [re=37290]flagold[/re]: so we drill drill drill to be free of import oil.
    who do we go to for oxygen? you sound like the problem, quit lecturing us.

  37. [re=37260]flagold[/re]: I love that you cut/pasted some spam email to “prove your point.” Brilliant. Look- you need to brush up on your commodities trading knowledge. Drilling for oil- that is, exploring for oil that may or may not be there, MAY lower gas prices a bit in 10-15 years. It will NOT lower prices now, nor anytime in the near future. Futures traders look 6 months ahead at most, not 10 years ahead. Also, I work in renewable energy. California has put in place strict but practical standards to bring carbon emissions down to 1990 levels by 2020 (that is, just when the oil we’re drilling for may come on line, if we’re lucky), mostly by mandating alternative energy usage. The technology is there for alternative energy, and the capital is there. For the record, I also think nuclear is a viable alternative. Off-shore/ANWR oil drilling? Pipe dream (haha, pun intended) at best, environmental disaster at worst.

  38. I live in the San Gabriel Valley, and I used to be in Dreier’s district until they gerrymandered my city into a Democratic district. I got these damn handwritten screeds all the time when I was in the old district, and all they represented to me was that he was too dumb or lazy to use a computer. (Obviously what he’s really going for is the “personal touch.”)

    And even after I was no longer in his district, I kept getting these things — and seeing his damn election advertising in my area. I finally wrote to his staff to tell them to get a clue and that we were no longer in his district.

    Given the makeup of his current district (as noted in several earlier comments), I’m always shocked that he doesn’t face a tough primary battle every two years with someone willing to exploit the issue of his unusual “living arrangements.” (Supposedly he’s been shacking up with his chief of staff for years.)

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