Wonkette
Have you heard of this secret society called the Cardboard Tube Fighting League? They plan on infiltrating the National Mall on July 26 for some good old-fashioned papergoods warfare, and they will take all comers. How much would you pay to engage in this exciting activity? Several hundred dollars, you say? Joke’s on you, suckers, it is FREE.
Details from Craigslist:
When:
Saturday, July 26th, 2008
3:00 pmEntry Fee:
FreeWhat to bring:
Water, cameras, postitive attitudeAttire:
cardboard armor, costumes are encouraged.
Business suits are also highly encouraged for this event.
Expect to encounter a gaggle of angry Paultards yelling about how they called dibs on the National Mall for their cardboard armor battles.
“Washington War Dance” [Cardboard Tube Fighting League]
7/26: Free Cardboard Tube Fighting League Tournament - Washington D.C. (National Mall) [Craigslist]
Cardboard will dominate the field till someone brings a stick. And then someone will bring a stick with a nail in it. Then someone one else will bring a board with a nail in it. Then someone will bring an even bigger board with an even bigger nail. This will continue till someone finally wises up and gets a girlfriend.
I expect Live Blogging, after heavy drinking at the Tune Inn, and will accept nothing
less…
ManchuCandidate: or a wife, and then that will drive him right back to the cardboard tube tournament. You’ll be back, you will all be back !!
It’ll be all fun and games until someone losses an eye
Fuuuuuuuuuck. First rule of Cardboard Tube Fighting Club … NEVER TALK ABOUT CARDBOARD TUBE FIGHTING CLUB.
To get an idea of the fun can be had check out some pictures
from the recent tube fight in delores park in san francisco
http://flickr.com/photos/captaintim/sets/72157606027196435/
wx insider: mom?
Those must be the famed Fighting Intartubes I hear so much about.
I predict this event will feature a great deal of racial homogeneity.
White people like fighting with the cardboard tubes
Ha ha. Wonkette said tubes.
I’m gonna go smack a Paultard with my tube. Preferably anti-Zionist tard girl.
capt. tim: Is it just my puter, or does Flickr have crappy servers? 90 percent of the time, all I see of a set is, like, one picture, plus a bunch of empty frames and a spinning dial.
Mittens will be there, grilling his special tube steaks.
. . .I’ma pray that once the melee has subsided, they recycle the tubes.
ALIVE!: That’s what he has all those allegedly not-gay sons for? Those wacky Mormans!
This is actually an anicent, revered military tradition that goes back to the Middle Ages, somewhere in the mid 1300s. A material very similar to modern cardboard, made of tree bark, mud and chemicals obtained from plants in central Europe, was manufactured, and resembled modern cardboard, but it was much stronger. When military, intelligence and feudal warriors realized that this material was battle-worthy, in peaceful times, they engaged in sporting duels with the material, which was then known variously as barkshield, treesarmour or woodshield. Elements of woodshield eventually became modern cardboard. The first woodshield tournaments were estimated to have been held circa 1347-1361, but precise historical documentation is rare.
@Lazy Media: Flickr seemed to be having its issues this morning. it seems to have righted itself though.
Pretty soon, there will be a schism between the Cardboard warriors, the dark side versus the Light side. Then they’ll start going out to space on cardboard spaceships that shoot cardboard lasers. The the prophesy will tell of a Chosen One that will balance the universe, cardboard wise. IT’LL BE AWWEEEESSSOOOOMMMMEEE!!!!!
Dick Cheney will be bringing a carboard tube filled with cement!
capt. tim: Yesh. Man, Betty Page looks hawt in cardboard armor.
Lazy Media: Yeah. a lot of the camera lenses were pointed in that direction that day.
Are there gerbils involved?
4tehlulz: Are there girls involved? I’m guessing the gerbils are more likely.
So, this is what Paultards do on their days off.
Truculent: No fair. Left coast libtards do it too.
Ummm…did anybody tell Ted Stevens yet?
It’ll be all fun and games until someone losses an eye
Then it’s a game. Find the Eye.
Sorry, I’ll be busy getting drunk at a friend’s luau, but maybe next time?