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Barack Obama One Time Stopped The Terrorists With… A Republican!

Barack Obama is giving a speech about Iraq now, but we imagine it’s (a) a fancier version of this and (b) impossibly unfunny. Ugh, this guy. Jesus was a messiah too, you know, but at least he presented a mockable stereotype of himself — “God’s son,” ha ha. So instead we’ll tackle his new ad, in which he talks to a bunch of old white people about that time he worked with some old white man to prevent nuclear weapons from falling into the hands of browns. [YouTube]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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14 comments

  1. slavojzizek

    Hard to believe we all had a crush on this guy. It’s quickly turned into a ‘how long do I have to wait until I tell him we should see other people’ situation.

  2. policonoclast

    I love the guy, but the one thing about Barack’s speaking style that bugs me is that he sometimes says “tuh” in place of “to”…

    “We have tuh lead the entire world tuh reduce that threat.”

  3. V572625694

    [re=36214]policonoclast[/re]: There’re also the odd pauses: We can be a beacon to…the world.”

  4. Lazy Media

    Oh, you bunch of whining bitters. Too much caramel on your sundae getting you down?

    I admire the fact that he threw Dick Lugar on that nuclear weapon that was about to asplode, saving America for what it can become.

  5. shortsshortsshorts

    “This Guy” rapes mormons.
    “This Guy” caused the crusades.
    “This Guy” voted against a woman’s right to vote.

    Vote Bag of Leaves. It is better then “This Guy.”

  6. TGY

    As snarkable as it is, it seems sometimes one must stoop to get the message across to REALLY STUPID PEOPLE and engrave one’s message ON A SLEDGEHAMMER. Not that there are any really stupid people in the US. No they’re all furren.

  7. AxmxZ

    Props to Barry for toning down that “University of Chicago lecturer” style. Guess he figured that 30-second ads for airing in Georgia aren’t not really the venue for wonk and nuance.

  8. jasonelias

    Loose Nuclear Weapons, Loose Nukes. I think I have a promo 45 from them on Stiff. The sale starts…now!

  9. wheelie

    [re=36220]V572625694[/re]: Yes he does that a lot, putting the. Pauses in unusual places, which lends voice a. Special cadence on the stump but here it. Just comes off as too. Mannered and irritating, like. This comment.

  10. ladymacbeth

    dude in the front row is rocking the progressive beard / sean connery / hyde park prof look (actually he looks a lot bill mcneill if any of you adorable children is old enough to remember him).

    this won’t help with the bitterz.

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