• May 26, 2012

McCain Demands Obama Visit Every Place On Earth

by Jim Newell  11:28 am July 15, 2008

John McCain and pals had a lot of fun criticizing Obama for never visiting Iraq. But then Obama announced he would be visiting Iraq after all, in another one of his terrible flip-flops. Well Walnuts, where should inexperienced adult-child Barack Obama go after that? Plane tickets are more expensive by the day, you know: “McCain, who has criticized Obama for not having been to Iraq since 2006, said it was now time for Obama to also go to South America.” After Obama capitulates and makes this trip too, we look forward to the inevitable McCain “wisecrack” that Barack Obama next should “go back to Africa.” [AP]

{ 38 comments }

WadISay July 15, 2008 at 11:32 am

Wasn’t South America where McCain me some Brazilian sweetie (read, slut) and got his brains fucked out, literally?

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 15, 2008 at 11:34 am

Just because you’ve been lucky enough to experience the erotic arts of a real Ipanema Ladyboy, doesn’t mean Barry Hussein needs to go traipsing around rebel jungle camps and eating guinea pigs with Peruvian midgets.

Also… The Walnuts gif annoys the fuck out of me. I can’t be the only one.

ManchuCandidate July 15, 2008 at 11:36 am

Walnuts probably won’t tell Barry to go the Philippines as he wants to keep those “fun” places for himself. He all about ‘Po City back in the time he sailed with Dewey on the USS Olympia during the Spanish Amerikun War of 1898.

“Lupe, Lupe, my Olangapo whore…”

nbawriter July 15, 2008 at 11:36 am

“I demand Barack Obama visit the Hanoi Hilton for the same amount of time I was a guest there.”

Serolf Divad July 15, 2008 at 11:37 am

No fair… McCain’s got the home field advantage in South (OK Central) America.

skroocap July 15, 2008 at 11:37 am

Next stop: Czechoslovakia.

Canuckledragger July 15, 2008 at 11:39 am

Hey Hopey… don’t forget to visit Ottawa City to address the Economic Club of Canuckistan.

If you can make it in and out of your car without receiving cranial stitches, you’ll have one-upped McCain.

And if you can say something intelligent about NAFTA during your address, you’ll have two-upped him.

SuperRounder July 15, 2008 at 11:39 am

Barry’s on the teevee giving McCain the business now. I’m waiting for a crack about how Barry would love to travel but the State Dept keeps fucking with his visa.

AudicityofHope July 15, 2008 at 11:42 am

What about Middle Earth, The Shire, Narnia, and Oz? Yeah, Barrack, I didn’t think so!

mookworthjwilson July 15, 2008 at 11:44 am

There’s a SOUTH America?

Serolf Divad July 15, 2008 at 11:46 am

[re=36188]skroocap[/re]:

And then Siam, Prussia and the British mandate in Palestine.

columnv July 15, 2008 at 11:46 am

[re=36182]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: you’re not (the only one, that is).

columnv July 15, 2008 at 11:47 am

[re=36195]mookworthjwilson[/re]: yea, texas.

NoWireHangers July 15, 2008 at 11:47 am

Silly, WALNUTS! Why not just send Barry to the Bermuda Triangle and be done with it?

Uncle Al July 15, 2008 at 11:48 am

McSenile should go back to Vietnam.
Either that or Leisure World.

Cape Clod July 15, 2008 at 11:48 am

It wasn’t an issue for Walnuts in 2000 when he was running against a guy who had never even been to Europe.

NoWireHangers July 15, 2008 at 11:48 am

[re=36182]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: I had a seizure at my desk. There’s mouth froth all over the keyboard now.

Darehead July 15, 2008 at 11:51 am

[re=36188]skroocap[/re]: [re=36196]Serolf Divad[/re]: And Yugoslavia, Manchukuo, Belgian Congo, Upper Volta, Brigadoon.

Fun-filled July 15, 2008 at 11:53 am

Walnuts is one hard mofo. So, stamps in your passport makes you worthy. Who knew?

Anita Cocktail July 15, 2008 at 11:55 am

[re=36196]Serolf Divad[/re]: What about Constantinople (Not Istanbul)?

Yes, Hopey, run to a country where they don’t have Slim Slacks…

Donkey Sauce July 15, 2008 at 11:56 am

Barry should agree to go on the condition that McCain books the flight… ONLINE!!!1! (Difficulty: no going to the library and making librarians do it for you).

Makeithurt July 15, 2008 at 11:57 am

MyCane further added, “I’ve been everywhere but I’ve never been to me.”

Mumble Softly July 15, 2008 at 12:00 pm

I applaud and commend McCain for his desire to visit the many countries which he has plans and designs to invade/occupy/bring democracy to. You want to make sure you get a good look at the people you will be firebombing in the near future.

Watch out Canada !

columnv July 15, 2008 at 12:10 pm

[re=36204]Darehead[/re]: Why do we always forget about Rhodesia?

hockeymom July 15, 2008 at 12:13 pm

[re=36210]Makeithurt[/re]:
Worst. Song. Ever.

But here are the lyrics, anyway.
Enjoy!

I’ve Never Been To Me
( Charlene )

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You’re a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I’ve no doubt you dream about the things you’ll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you…..

Oh, I’ve been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I’ve been to paradise but I’ve never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don’t just walk away
‘Cause I have this need to tell you why I’m all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won’t you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies….

Oh, I’ve been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I’ve sipped champagne on a yacht
I’ve moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed ‘em what I’ve got
I’ve been undressed by kings and I’ve seen some things that a woman ain’t supposed to see
I’ve been to paradise, but I’ve never been to me

V572625694 July 15, 2008 at 12:18 pm

[re=36219]hockeymom[/re]: Ew. Ugly flashback. Plus there was disco. The Seventies really sucked.

sezme July 15, 2008 at 12:30 pm

[re=36196]Serolf Divad[/re]: Go back to Zaire, oreo!

RuperttheBear July 15, 2008 at 12:32 pm

[re=36204]Darehead[/re]: This is where I fucked up yesterday (with The Crimea).

So here goes: Barack should visit The Duchy of Savoy.

Ha.

TGY July 15, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Detroit on a double-dare!

Fear of a Black Reagan July 15, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Barack should demand that Ol’ Man McCain visit Africa. That way he might get another skin cancer and die and/or Barry’s terrorist fist-jabbing realtives might put him in a pot and cook him.

Either way: HOPEY WINS!!!

BadNewsJack July 15, 2008 at 12:39 pm

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I want to take ya,
Bermuda, Bahama, come on out, Obama.
Key largo, Montego, senator, why don’t you go
down to Kokomo.

We’ll get there fast
And then we’ll take it slow
Thats where I want you to go
Way down to Kokomo.

Lolo July 15, 2008 at 12:40 pm

I told Obama that he just *had* to go to Paris in the Spring time. It’s so romantic that time of year…

NotMyRealName July 15, 2008 at 12:43 pm

It’s a great strategy for McCain… get your opponent to campaign the hardest in places that don’t vote in our election.

Wee Mousie July 15, 2008 at 1:03 pm

That’s right. McCain is older than dirt and has been everywhere, but so what?

Things have changed since he was a randy youth in the Pleistocene.

Fear of a Black Reagan July 15, 2008 at 1:06 pm

[re=36314]Wee Mousie[/re]: There were lobbyists who looked exactly like his wife in the Pleistocene?

Lazy Media July 15, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Spanish Sahara, Tanganyika, Ceylon, West Germany, East Pakistan. I learned those in geography class in elementary school, and I’m ding danged if I’m going to let some foreigns tell me Mrs. Perry was wrong.

Guppy06 July 15, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Barry shouldn’t visit places he doesn’t plan on annexing during his term.

burton judson July 15, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=36207]Anita Cocktail[/re]: Well this one is tricky, see. Part of me is Greek, which means we have to call Istanbul Constantinople (or just “The City”), and Macedonia (Republic of?) remains FYROM. It gets exhausting after a while.

In happier news, I have noticed that Greek tee-vee anchors have stopped referring to George Bush as “O Planetarches,” “ruler of the planet” loosely. No, not a joke.

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