Wonkette
President George Bush Jr. today lifted the executive ban on domestic offshore drilling for oil and natural gas, the same ban that his liberal father instituted 20-ish years ago. Take that, old retreating hack! But before the oil companies can start drilling off of your dock, Congress must lift its ban. Well that should be tough! We predict that Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi will whine about this for a good week, maybe 10 days, but should have a piece of drilling legislation ready for Bush’s Rose Garden signin’ desk by next Friday. [Bloomberg]
Effing stupid effing mothereffer!
This will make gas almost free, right!
Here, here the Democrats will surely make their stand. This… shall not… pass.
For at least like 15 minutes or so. That’ll show ‘em.
You know, it wouldn’t look so unseemly if Reid and Pelosi would at least wait until after they’re done with their news conferences protesting this wrongheaded measure to lower their trousers and bend over.
This should do wonders for America’s beaches. I love when swimming in the ocean makes me feel like I just starred in Bukkake Bitchez 7.
Oh good. This should raise the price of gas again. Thank gawd for nothing.
To be followed up by a strongly worded letter!
I hope they say they’ll lift it, but only after a lengthy congressional committee study of the potential environmental & economic impact, coincidentally designed to last until November…and the results will be laughingly read to W at his retirement jail/ranch.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: By BB7, I think much of the earlier passion was missing. Bukkake Bitchez 1-6 conveyed much more depth.
next thing you know, we’ll be drilling the crap out of alaska. oh, wait.
Cicada:
usually, name calling begs the issue and reveals one to lack ideas.
usually.
but, it this case…what’s left to add to your cogent comment?
effing bastard? perhaps.
effing *ock sucker? maybe.
in any event…well put, cicada.
We just have to hang on until 2008, when Ron Paul is elected president and starts wringing Freedom Oil out of the Constitution just like it says in Atlas Shrugged.
GO RON PAUL!!!!
Just as long as the first well is drilled in Kennebunkport Harbor.
4tehlulz: Or a stiff note on cardboard!
Flyover state people looove the idea of offshore drilling. Gee, I wonder why? It couldn’t POSSIBLY be the complete lack of coastline in Kansas, could it?
I propose a new plan: corn an wheat field drilling. There’s got to be oil down there somewhere, right? Can’t hurt to do a little exploration, can it? You won’t mind when BP buys your house for a fraction of its worth, because it’ll mean 4 cents less a gallon in ten years (maybe).
Pelosi and Reid will bitch about this while, at the same time, unziping their pants, dropping them along with their underwear down to their ankles, and bending over so Bush and Cheney can shove a paper copy of the bill up their asses. They will shut up as soon as the drilling is complete. I wouldn’t expect anything less from these two sellout pussies.
At this point, I would support the GEICO cave man for Senate majority leader.
the first one should be in Kennebunkport
Drillin’ in the mornin’ sun
I’ll be drillin’ when the evenin’ come
Watching the sludge slide in
And then I watch ‘em slide away again, yeah
I’m drillin’ on a rig in the bay
Watching the sludge slide away
Ooo, I’m just drillin’ on a rig in the bay
Wastin’ time
I wanted a rig off Georgia
But got one for the ‘Frisco bay
‘Cause I’ve had something to live for
And look like money gonna come my way
So I’m just gonna drill on a rig in the bay
Watching the sludge slide away
Ooo, I’m sittin’ on the dock of the bay
Wastin’ time
Look like nothing’s gonna change
Everything still remains the same
Won’t do what Pelosi tells me to do
So I guess things will remain the same, yes
Sittin’ here resting my bones
And these greenies won’t leave me alone
It’s just some coastline I wrecked
Just to make this rig my home
Now, I’m just gonna drill on a rig in the bay
Watching the sludge slide away
Oooo-wee, sittin’ on a rig in the bay
Wastin’ time
The oil-drenched Bushes only banned off-shore drilling to pander to–who else?–Florida voters and Guv Jeb. They thought it would help his presidential chances.
Ha ha ha ha.
Cicada: I don’t know about Kansas, but there is drilling all over Illinois.
pondscum: Ok, mainly south…
http://www.isgs.uiuc.edu/maps-data-pub/publications/geobits/geobit9.shtml
Give the President what he wants so that when things go wrong we won’t be blamed.
ManchuCandidate: Otis Drilling…my fav.
tonashideska:
Couldna put it better myself.
This wouldn’t have anything to do with the fratboyking opening up the oil market to speculators and then standing back and watching as oil hits record highs, gas goes off the chain and all of his redneck oil barrons make a killing off our backs? Would it? And then, he can just roll back his little executive order-and blame the whole godamn mess on the libruls…I’ll say it; Motherfucker…
pondscum: Yup. All the more reason to commence operation “Exploratory Drill Up Your Ass” all across middle America. It makes just as much sense as offshore drilling in terms of potential benefit, and it will have the same “psychological” benefits that WALNUTS is so keen on.
ManchuCandidate: Win! When’s your album coming out?
“If you can read this, Congress fell off.”
columnv: Is that the one where the mechanic says, “It looks like you blew a seal,” and the penguin says “No, I just had an ice-cream?”
On the upside, we’ll run out of oil to power the drilling ship long before they get too many of these permanent rigs set up.
My prediction is that the oil companies start arguing that the price of gas will have to go up to cover the expense of the new domestic exploration and drilling.
Fuckers.
has everyone in the press and Congress forgotten that it has been stated over and over that this drilling is not going to have an effect on oil supplies and prices for YEARS? (rhetorical question–of course they have “forgotten”, it’s an inconvenient fact, not going to help calm voters down)
Unless we drill here, we’ll have to drill over there.
Cicada, like your name but YOU don’t seem to know much about fly-over country. Kansas has like a zillion oil and gas wells and produces more energy that we use, so we’re not the effin problem. And don’t assume everyone here hates the ocean, either. Monterey, Pt. Reyes, Mendocino are my favorite places on Earth. If Reid and Pelosi roll on this one, I’ll be as pissed as anyone.
Cicada: The oil business reamed places like Oklahoma so badly they’ve go frick’in some kinda of cultural Stockholm syndrome.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RGiJ0JWaOm0
Bush (to Congress): Aww, you know I love you, baby. I’d never do anything to hurt you. Everybody’s doing it, so it’s no big thing, right? Now, just let me get the K-Y…
Congress: Be gentle, lover.
Bush: Of course, sweetheart. (Yells out the window to his Big Oil posse) Hey, boys! Come and git some!
Scooter: I am duly chastened. But you do know that pols from the great middle are supporting this in pretty high numbers, right? While pols (even conservatives) from coastal regions aren’t (excepting Crist, who is sucking GOP ass right now). There is a definite coast v. middle battle going on here, and always has been. This in no way implies that every person in Kansas is pro-offshore drilling. But I was using hyperbole as part of a joke. I don’t actually want people driven from their homes by BP, honest!
You’re OK Cicada. Looks to me like Crist has committed political suicide in his cloying Veepy-wannabe gambit. Sheesh, even Jebbie knew offshore oil was a loser. And yeah, no doubt the interior has alot of profoundly stupid pols.
Cicada: I thought flyover people liked producing inefficient, government subsidized corn based ethanol.
Drill is to drilling as
offshore as to Craigs bungy bung.
… and I’m spent.
Borat: Sheesh, I know! Don’t they realize that more corn for ethanol fuel = less corn for moonshine? What is up with those rubes?
Haha, you laugh, but when I INVENT POWER DERIVED FROM HUMAN WASTE, you’ll all sing a different tune. Actually, somebody already has done it, but I don’t know how efficient it is. Most likely, they need to develop their branding as the iCrap Generator or somesuch.
As perhaps the only farmer on this blog, I will respond! The big push for ethanol began when corn was dirt cheap and producers were looking for a value-added product. Now that corn is sky-high, the economics of ethanol are proving untenable. Those of us who possess abstract-reasoning powers could see this [and peak-oil too] coming, but the pinheads in charge could not. Someday the much more efficient cellulosic ethanol will have its heyday. It will perhaps also fail, but it makes more scientific sense than the current corn=fuel pipedream. Eventually the whirlygig of time will bring in his revenges.
Don’t worry.
By the time the first offshore oil well pollutes the first beach, the globally warmed shoreline will have moved to somewhere around Colorado, and all domestic oil wells will be off shore.
The only reason coast-state pols are against offshore drilling is because the rich people who pay for their campaigns don’t want their views messed up. There have been pretty much zero oil spills from offshore platforms; it’s just an aesthetic issue. The spills are almost always from tankers.
My current favorite piece of rich people bullshit is the opposition to offshore windmills because they’ll spoil the view. What, so you can’t see your oil tankers going by?
Lazy Media: Upon further research, belay my last. There have been a number of platform oil spills. Never mind.
The lowest point in Colorado is currently 3315 feet above sea level.
Scooter: As a former Illinoisian, I couldn’t agree with you more. I gerw up on a farm downstate and could see this coming back in the 70s!
Seriously, all of you that think that the oil drigs are going to pollute the beaches are horribly mistaken. First of all the oil rigs will most likely be so far off shore that you wont be able to see them from the beaches. Secondly, the rig will not just be dumping sludge into the sea due to the fact that the waste is burned off. And for the most retarded argument i have ever heard which is that this will not solve anything short term; There will not be a short term solution, we must do what is best for securing oil in the future and this move will be a step in the right direction.