Wonkette
Here’s your latest “Miss USA,” falling on her ass during the Miss USA Show, just like the last Miss USA, who fell on her ass last year. But this one starts seal-clapping for herself after tumbling, which is kind of … repugnant? She was taken out back and executed immediately after the program. [News.com.au/AFP]
You’re sh*tting me. Two years in a row Miss USA can’t even walk? Yeah. No metaphor there at all for the international audience.
You don’t execute a girl with a rack like that… You move to Austria and keep her in your basement.
I miss the days when these were America’s biggest embarrassments. Seems so quaint now.
EnBuenOra: and scotterl: it is the American theme that can apply on every level from household to international relations!
“We don’t need [insert requisite skill}; we have bigger [insert applicable item]!”
More evidence of the dumbing down of America. Only a few short years ago our beauty queens were bright enough to walk in a straight line.
Why does she hate America?
“And the William Westmoreland award for biggest pratfall by an American in Vietnam goes to…”
Sussemilch: No, they weren’t.
scotterl: Done and done.
I blame gum chewing, which has forever been the scourge of walking erect. It’s a little known fact that Homo Sapiens Neaderthalis went extinct for that very reason.
I thought she could only do that when the Iraqis stand up.
a billion people? REALLY? Hooray for journalism.
Betcha the Iranistani contestant didn’t fall down, despite her burka. No.
In other news …
You would THINK that after the Cold War was over these beauty pageants would end. I was under the impression we just wanted to be prettier than those pinko-commi-fascists.
Don’t be silly, that was Miss USA’s demonstration of skill, an artistic, interpretive dance on this years housing market.
Miss USA fell on her ass during the Miss Universe contest. But what a lovely ass it was to fall upon.
Wee Mousie: brilliant! Those philistine judges just don’t understand true art.
It would’ve been awesome if her boobs had fallen out of the dress, except the dress might be padded and her boobs might be rock-hard from silicone injections. There’s so little authenticity left, even in a beauty contest, where everyone is so genuine!
SayItWithWookies: Nicely done
She trippin’.
The Miss Universe pageant doesn’t care about black people.
As Miss USA goes, so goes the Dow-Jones.
like none of you ever got drunk and fell down.
i don’t understand why y’all are so mean to this lovely young
lady who wants nothing more than an end to world hunger, a cure
for aids, and to have sex with the boston celtics.
you people are just plain mean.
V572625694:
It would’ve been better if a syringe rolled out when she impacted the floor.
I saw a note in some article about that Miss Sweden withdrew because of complaints in Sweden that the contest was exploitative of women. She mush have been shocked! “You mean, I didn’t become Miss Sweden for my thoughtful answers to questions? I am so ashamed!”
Once upon a time, I played in a band with an older, more professional guy. After one set, I bellyached to him that I had played a part badly. He gave me great advice: “When you do it wrong once, keep doing it wrong for the rest of the song. They’ll think it was deliberate.”
Applying that sage wisdom to these affairs, if your beauty queens are gonna keep taking a tumble, they should be prepped in advance by the coaches to do it repeatedly, so the punters think it’s all deliberate. One assplant is a mistake; two or more is a “routine.”
“We don’t need [insert requisite skill}; we have bigger [insert applicable item]!”
Doglessliberal: Win!
Oh, when will they learn to send out Miss USA-s with training wheels? On their high heels, of course. Also, don’t they have a walk-and-chew-gum contest for whatever-the-hell contest is pre-USA?
I blame W. for making a mockery of us all.
Shlock and Awe. They’re not bred for speed and agility.
We’re having ‘em trip and fall over there so we don’t have to trip and fall over here.
The high-heeled terrorists have won again.
There are no accidents.
Falling into the swimming pool at Hollywood parties has always been considered de riguer for young starlets. It’s how you become noticed. Now the beauty contestants have figured out how to manage millions of YouTube appearances. Playing it straight means one each group shot with the rest of the pack.
Seriously, how many past USA contestants can you name? You only remember those who step in it, like Miss Teenage South somewhere who gave a spot-on recitation on why kids don’t have maps anymore. And remember Vanessa Williams?
I’m tellin’ ya, it’s the scheduled flops that make careers, not Miss Congeniality.
“scheduled flops that make careers”. I invited her to flop here next weekend, with the fair and gender-neutral offer that I have a job for her, if she has a job for me. Can’t do it tonight; have to go get railings for the bed.
As Miss USA goes, so goes Donald Trump (we hope).
Aha, methinks you are all MEN, you Wonkette commenters, you. Otherwise you would have sympathy for the Wymmyn who are forced to cram their feet into the four-inch-heeled instruments of torture known as fashion high heels. C’mon, trannies, back me up on this one. It is really hard to walk in those things.
Anita Cocktail: While I’m not a tranny, as a gay man who once attempted drag, I can say they are a challenge. But if the girls on the street corner can do it flawlessly, cannot we expect the same of our world representatives?
I just find it hysterically funny that the Miss Universe pageant, owned by Donald Trump (crazed capitalist on steroids), took place in Vietnam, a once-rabidly Communist country that is now selling its revolutionary soul for hard capitalistic currency. So many levels of irony!
Oh, yeah–and Miss USA falling on her perky little ass. Sometimes, the jokes just write themselves. God bless America!
Makes me want to cut her nuts off.
Anita Cocktail: All the third world ladies demonstrated walking skills in the same feet-eaters. Could it be that Ms. USA was not so disabled by the shoes as by the round heels she placed in them?
Hope so.
What a biased, anti-American story! How could you leave out the part where she wowed the judges and won the talent contest when she did a spectacular flaming baton routine while singing “The Yellow Rose of Texas” and waterboarding Miss Iran? USA! USA!
Hi there!!!!! I was reading about the MISS UNIVERSE 2008 and i have just found the TOP 10 MISS UNIVERSE 2008 list! It´s perfect and i´d like to share it with you guys. We can see the videos of each one of them!! And honestly, i think Marianne Cruz is the one who deserved this award!!! See it:
http://www.weshow.com/top10/en/sexy-women/top-10-miss-universe-2008
thank yooooooouuu!
“She was taken out back and executed immediately after the program.”
Effectiveness, at last.