Advertising Inquiries:
wonkette@blogads.com
Tip Your Wonkette:
tips@wonkette.com
Editors:
Ken Layne | Email
Jim Newell | Email
Sara K. Smith | Email
Juli Weiner | Email
Intern:
Riley Waggaman
The governor of California went on George Stephanopoulos’ show the other day and said he wouldn’t turn down a Cabinet posting from whoever got elected president. In just six months, America will finally have a Secretary of Bipartisan Grabass: perhaps not the one it wants, but the one it deserves. [The Caucus, Top of the Ticket]
11:09 AM
on Mon July 14 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
1220 Views
Wonkette
Secretary of Manly Men or possibly the Secretary of Steroids (oops! but it’s nicely alliterative).
The Dept of Banana Hammocks has a new leader!
TGY: That would be Girlie Men, actually.
Wait, don’t Cabinet-Level positions have to be held by folks that are eligible to be President, because of the line of succession or whatever? I mean, what happens when Iran shoots us with their scary magic nukular bombs on SOTU Night, and President Ron Paul and everyone else dies? Arnold, as Secretary of Agriculture or something, has to be ready to jump in as the ninth backup. And everybody knows that the cleanup President is the most important one.
He’ll have his work cut out for him if he’s head of HHS…
“Get off of your flabby asses and run, your girly boys and girls! Auuugghhhugghh!”
Lets just hope he doesn’t go overboard and let his wife do dieting recommendations. Yikes.
Walter Sobchak:
I’m fairly sure the ineligible cabinet member is merely skipped over, if that happens. They can still be in the cabinet, though. Madeleine Albright, for example, was born in Czechoslovakia.
Walter Sobchak: Kissinger was born in Germany, Albright was born in Czechoslovakia, and Chertoff comes from Eternia.
Conan the Secretary.
uncletravelingmatt: I thought Chertoff came from the dead…
Arnold would shill for the guy who wants to drill off of his coast because he admires his pro-environmental stance? Goddam, if it’s not another trip down the rabbit hole, Alice.
Never mind, there’s a law about it, and he wouldn’t be in the LOS, in case anyone cares. More importantly, I just had a moment where, for the first time, I really seriously internalized the fact that Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger is actually the governor of a real state, and I was seriously contemplating a scenario in which the Kindergarten Cop might actually be the President, and was doing so without irony. I need to lie down now, my soul hurts.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: uncletravelingmatt: Word.
Pump you up with Hope!
McCain has already promised a cabinet position to the T-1000. Sorry Arnold.
Thank you for the pic of Arnold, greased up in a Speedo doing the sieg heil. Somewhere in hell, Herman Goering has a boner sticking out of his kimono
For a guy who claims not to have inherited any Nazi-lovin’ genes, the photo atop this piece shows Ahnuld in a remarkably stylin’ “heil” mode.
I, for one, would welcome out new Nazi overlord.
With a hail of gunfire.
Some are profoundly disappointed in Schwarzenegger as governor, for these reasons:
(1) He’s actually moderately but not embarrassingly competent
(2) He didn’t get bored with rural life in Sacramento and start jetting off elsewhere at every opportunity
He was going to remove corruption from California government by example, because he’s rich and had his own money, so wouldn’t take anything from lobbyists.
Ha ha ha…
Can’t we just put him in charge of the President’s Physical Fitness Test again, like in the mid-80s? He brought important reforms to the system, such as the shuttle run and the V-sit-and-reach.
V572625694: I still love hearing people describe him as an action-hero and all-around tough guy, unlike that pussy of a decorated Vietnam War vet Gray Davis.
“He didn’t get bored with rural life in Sacramento and start jetting off elsewhere at every opportunity”
That’s because he flies home practically every evening to his family in LA. This has partly to do with California not having a Governor’s mansion so the Governator lives out of the penthouse suite of a hotel. Here’s an interesting fact: Up until a few years ago the Governor of Calfiornia was the highest paid elected official and was only succeeded by the POTUS during a recent pay increase.
He’ll need to head up an anti-abortion coalition. His first hand experience taugh him valuaable lessons.
Oily Moobs 4 Obama!
If the Democrats win, Schwarzenegger should become the Secretary of Impunity. Anybody who can grope that many women, smoke reefer on camera and enjoy any number of other boorish lecheries without being called on it needs to be close to the president in order to transfer (if only by osmosis) his teflon to the administration. That way, if Obama ever lies about getting a blowjob or whatever, he can just point to Arnold and say “Hey, you didn’t have a problem with this guy, so back off.”
Of course now that Arnold has turned out to be a traitor to the Republican cause, the hammer might be coming down any minute now.
scotterl: hehehe
This guy has been our governor for a while now and I just have to say, Are you freaking kidding me? No one is so desperate that they would put this idiot in their cabinet. Lock him in a cabinet? Maybe.
Has someone explained to him that “Secretary of Housing and Urban Development” doesn’t mean building places where inner city youth can work out?
V572625694: I don’t know… he’s been pretty good at not really standing up for anything. Davis of course, was burned at the stake for this. But Arnold’s Special Elections have been totez lame and he never gets anything passed, like ever. Never ever ever. BUT LOOK AT THOSE ARMS???!!!
uncletravelingmatt: Gray Davis was Jerry Brown’s chief of staff when the latter was governor, and was commonly described in as the only member of the cabinet who didn’t wear a beret.
shortsshortsshorts: And look at Maria! Well, actually she’s kind of anorexic-scary-looking, but still…she’s a Kennedy!
Arnold’s salute, and the photo of fugitive Rove’s fingers extended in front of his nose, seem to be the Republican’s ’secret handshake.’
How many of his testicles had to die in order to make that Speedo?
shortsshortsshorts: Yes, but Gray Davis was never an unstoppable killing machine bent on destroying the future of humanity. Or was he? Hmmm…
Botswana Meat Commission FC: I just happened to watch “Pumping Iron” last night and Ahhnold is totally Machiavellian, even when all we’re talking about is a body building title.
If you let him in the White House, he’ll find a way to exercise as much power as he can. Best to direct him to crushing your enemies, driving them before you, and listening tours for the lamentations of their women.
The irony of Ahnuld serving under Barry the Metrosexual. He can be an honorary barbarian body guard and nurse a secret crush on his Girlie Manlord.
Secretary of the Housing and the Foreclosures and the Crying Children and the Things of This Nature.
Canuckledragger: No shit–and it took so long for someone to notice? Wonder who photoshopped out fellow Osterreicher Kurt Valdheim. “Ein volk, ein Reich, ein Kal-ee-forn-ia”