Wonkette
It’s now well after 1 p.m. and we haven’t heard anything from editor Jim Newell, so we have to assume he’s either in jail or rigorously pursuing his vow to “fuck 50 paultards” in the woods somewhere, or maybe in the reflecting pool. All we have are some drunken comments from the Wonkette operatives who bravely showed up at 9:30 a.m. to get drunk and make fun of the Ron Paul March of Liberty Upon Washington, the Scarlet Whore Snake City.
(Yes, yes, and we know Tony Snow died very early this morning, of cancer. RIP Tony; you were our favorite spokesperson of this administration, by far, even if we never believed a word you said. We will return to obituaries on Monday, but for now we must report on frivolous summer activities.)
On to the Paultardpalooza dispatches:
- Another DC Lawyer (Again) says at 10:20 am, July 12th, 2008: Tune Inn is filling up…Newell says take photos of Paultards on the metro…several sightings so far…the tri-corner hats are a giveaway…
- Another DC Lawyer (Again) says at 11:56 am, July 12th, 2008: Well, I just left PaulStock…hardy Wonketeers were holding on with some outstanding signage (Mad props to the “Big Sale on Truck Nutz” — IN ARABIC!– sign. That rocked).
Special shout out to Layne via Newell, who, seriously, PAID FOR ALL THE DRINKS at the Tune Inn. An outstanding gesture.
Bigger hobbit showing than I expected actually, there will be some fine photos coming from our intrepid photogs. A good mix of “9/11 truthers”, Elves with +20 cloaks of invisibility (we saw you Dennis!), Gold Standarders, and various hangers on. The also had a song. It went something like “Ron Paul, Constitution, Don’t Kill Babies, President Paul, Rah!” Or words to that effect.
A good time had by all.
- Another DC Lawyer (Again) says at 12:16 pm, July 12th, 2008: KevoTron: If it makes you feel any better I am now at work…
Paultard reaction was pretty “meh” mostly because given the sheer level of crazy, we looked relatively normal. Really, compared to some signs and groups, we looked like a Methodist knitting circle. The amazing part was what people we were willing to do to have their picture taken…there’s a teaser for the photos to come…
- Another DC Lawyer (Again) says at 12:38 pm, July 12th, 2008: Gopherit v2.0: Nothing that shocking I’m afraid…more along the lines of “would you hold your Ron Paul sign upside down and let me take a picture of you? You would, excellent thanks!” Sad, actually. There’s probably some sad commentary on the state of our “look at me” society in there somewhere…
Wait a minute …. All the eyewitness reports come from beloved Wonkette commenter “Another DC Lawyer (Again).” But there are promises of photos, photos, photos. Soon.
Meanwhile, cringe at the “live audio broadcast” here. Jesus christ, are there even twenty people at this thing?
Re: photography comment…
Is any of this surprising in a society where, on Flickr, apparently thousands of people belong to a “group” where they post a photo of THEMSELVES feeding their cat or doing their laundry 365 days a year??
I’m sure more reports will be forthcoming, when I left to go to work (I’m a slave to capitalism apparently, that and paying the rent, eating, etc.) Newell and the faithful band of Wonketeers were preparing to storm the stage with placards of truck nutz and Fiat money. They are either in jail now or have been deported to the Republic of Texas and Dr. Paul’s secret re-education camps. I’m sure once they are released (read: sober up) further posts will be forthcoming, with photos.
Special thanks to the great staff and band of regulars at the Tune Inn, who took the disruption to their normal Saturday morning bacon and whiskey regime in stride and welcomed us and Ken’s money with open arms. Thanks again for the booze Ken.
On behalf of Methodist knitters everywhere, I must protest. Those bitches can do things with a size 50 wooden knitting needle and a ball of twine that would curl your hair.
An all-around good show. Democracy works… sorta. “Restore the Articles of Confederation!”
Just got back from Paultardpalooza. We didn’t get regular arrested, but we did get libertarian-style arrested — which is basically some kid in a t-shirt saying, “Hey, you, cut it out. Go fuck around somewhere else.”
P.S. Thanks for the beer, Ken. It gave us all the courage to go wave funny signs at morons.
I told someone that I was a John Ashcroft supporter for president, while my loyal compatriot expressed his preference for Jim Gibbons. The Paultard who asked us was really confused.
Go trucknuts!!
Well, to be fair to Jim’s laggard appearance so far, don’t you realize how hard it is to apply makeup to get Hobbit feet to look right? DO you?!
I am so jealous.
I was so hoping that a roving band of Bitters would have dropped in on the marching Paultards and had a rumble of epic proportion.
this is too good to be true!! please please please post. help me get through the weekend at the office
Wait for me, fellahs, I’m waiting for the epoxy glue slathered on my scrotum pressed into the hood of my neighbor’s F150 to dry.
…Wait. That’s not what everyone means by Truck Nuts?
Uh. Oh.
My photos are submitted to Wonkette Central. Hopefully the good ones will appear here soon! We did see the Ron Paul blimp while we were there. It was hot.
Jewdishoowary Square: Oh yeah, I forgot. Thanks for booze, can we do it again? I appreciate you supporting my drinking habit!
I’m guessing it looked something like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4jfCBbpqW4
Let’s just hope our brave editor Newell is not currently being flown to a secret CIA prison. Yes, the Capitol Police does have that kind of power.
I’m starting to think that the living will envy the dead.
the chavi: Hot as in HOTT or hot as in they could not have picked a more miserable summer day to do this? I’m going with both, myself. I’m kinda sad we didn’t get to see the indie chick do a live performance of her revolution anthem though.
Yes, THANKS KEN for the booze! I haven’t had a better saturday morning in my life.
Another DC Lawyer (Again): Next time one of these ‘tard shindigs happens in D.C., print off some “Real Fiat” money, with busts of Giovanni Agnelli and Carlo Abarth on one side and the rockin’ Abarth Scorpion on the inverse…hand it out like Hell Money at a Chinese funeral to Paultards…
…the tri-corner hats are a giveaway…
Wear one of these next ‘tardapalooza, to counter their Yankee Doodle Dandy fervor.
“NEC ASPERA TERRENT” (difficulties daunt us not) but “JR” or “KR” instead of “GR” (Georgis Rex)…
“Big Sale on Truck Nutz” — IN ARABIC!– sign
So that’s what happened to all those gay, fired translators. They hang out here.
the chavi: Ron Paul blimp? Is that like a helium dog on a string?
I would be interested in hearing the contrasting and comparing of Paultarpalooza with Burning Man/Rainbow Gathering. Any similarities? Glaring differences? So many tards, so few -paloozas.
“Printing paper money is nothing short of counterfeiting, and currency must be controlled by the country with military might to guarantee control over the system!” - Two Paultards, while at the Bank of America ATM outside of Cosi’s on Pennsylvania Ave this morning.
Oh yes - speaking of the Constitution, are you guys going to the Third Amendment rally later - it’s in front of the Omni Shoreham? I’m borrowing the Paultard dressed as a soldier to protest his occupying private quarters during peacetime.
I hate you all so much right now. HATE.
God bless us, every one!
the chavi: I stand by my endorsement! Since President Bush demurs to hold the inaugural Pimps ‘n’ Hoes state dinner, Jim Gibbons will have to restore dignity to the White House.
I <3 guns (and guns <3 me)
I’m with Shorts. Next time, I’m there. BUT THERE WILL BE no next time! Ron Paul is gonna really be surprised by THE RAPTURE! Nov. 4, 2008 - guaranteed!
Will shorts be the one making the annual “Somebody leave some drugs in san francisco during burning man” comment?
You guys seem to be having all the fun at the moment.
Here in Oz, we’ve just had the Pope land in Sydney, and our beautiful country invaded by geeks with funny hats (what is it with Roman Catholics and funny hats?). Here in Melbourne, even my beloved (Aussie Rules) football team the St. Kilda Saints did not escape unscathed- Our Friday night game was bumped from our home (and fully roofed) stadium to the (unroofed) Melbourne Cricket Ground, so that these holy rollers wouldn’t have to sit outside on a Melbourne Winter night. Sheesh! Hasn’t anybody told these people what the real religion is in these parts?
I’d gladly swap our current visitors for those wacky Paultard funsters. Like the little dude with the mandolin is no doubt singing:
Smells like Paultard Spirit…
Wait, the drinks were free? This Wonkette-reading Paultard never wakes before noon on Saturday, but might have if the FREE DRINKS were announced.
After drinking enough coffee and smoking a bowl, I staggered in mid/late afternoon, in time to hear Wonkette-fave Adam Kokesh and then, the good Dr himself. I’d guess about 3,000. Optimistic Paultards were saying 5-7,000 and I heard later CNN said 5-800, so I’ll stick with my 3,000 eyeball.