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Here is some guy named Mike who apparently runs the RNC, and he’s asking you to submit videos explaining Why You Are A Republican in 2008. The prize is a free Werther’s sucker. Do you think Mike will be surprise with all the amateur gay porn videos he receives in the coming days? [YouTube]
3:42 PM
on Fri July 11 2008
By
Jim Newell
1907 Views
Wonkette
Ah’m a ‘pubic’an cuz I say fuck teh gayz! Raht? Fuck ‘em and fuck ‘em summore! In the butt! Hard! (don’t tell mah wahf… pleaz?)
I’m a Republican because, like all Republicans, I enjoy the specific act of sticking my cock into a little boy while being pissed on by a domesticating animal with my grandmother fist fucking my wife and my local pastor, while throwing shit into my wifes mouth, videotaping for “Why I am a Republican 2008.”
If any wonketters submit videos, please provide links to your masterpieces.
“Do you think Mike will be surprised with all the amateur gay porn videos he receives in the coming days?”
On the contrary, Mike’s been kind of limp lately.
man, they just set these things up for people. Do they not realize what sick creativity this will spawn?
I’m submitting 2 girls 1 cup.
I’m a Repubican because mommy did smack while I was gestatin’. Flipperpithecines for McCain!
I, Troy from SC, am a Republican because it lets me fuck young men while indulging my deep-seated self-hatred.
…because I pick winners.
Wow, with those public-access aesthetics and Mike Duncan’s fourth-tier anchorman voiceover, this contest is sure to be burning up The Tubes all summer.
Cuz Jeebus was a Publickin’.
He looks like he’s reading a ransom note into the camera.
I’m Republican because I’m so gay even the clergy won’t accept me.
“Because I’m Xenophobic. The End.”
The real question is, how good of a blowjob does Mr. Werther give?
I’m a Republican because I feel that the bitters, the poors and the colored should fight the wars I support.
Isn’t that Tom Delay at about 0:48 in the video?
shortsshortsshorts: What do you call this act?…….wait for it…..THE ARISTOCRATS!
What? Amateur gay pR0n vids? WE ARE PROFESSIONAL GRADE, JIM NEWELL.
Asking the public to upload videos about Republicans to YouTube? What could go wrong?
I mean it’s not like someone will make a parody site that is hilarious and gets one hundred times the media attention as the real videos.
I’m sure that the parody site won’t be up by Monday or touted by The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and every political blog in the country. I’m sure this won’t be another fiasco by the GOP that makes it look old and out of touch.
Great job RNC, what could go wrong?
I am a Republican because I enjoy getting sucked off by the tennis pro at the country club and then meeting my “wife” for cocktails. I don’t ever have to leave my gated community and our domestic workers do the laundry so my wife never had to scrub the astrolube out of my drawers or fret about why the All Temperature Cheer still can’t get the bloody skidmarks out.
“Do you think Mike will be surprise with all the amateur gay porn videos he receives in the coming days?”
More pleased than surprised, I should think.
Given the alternative, voting Republican seems like the best way to bring down the capitalist system.
jagorev: just like the RNC it’s full of shit.
I am thinking the winner will be some guy who does a really great job of editing together clips from Birth of a Nation and The Laramie Project…
Because one American fetus is worth a thousand brown kids’ lives.
The jokes just write themselves:
-I’m a Republican because I believe minorities have to earn the right to get into Harvard as a legacy
-I’m a Republican because I’m still bitter over the fact I didn’t get laid in High School
-I’m a Republican because I don’t think the Government has a right to tax the $12 million dollar bonus I got for shipping one of my companies’ plant to Peru and laying off thousands of workers
-I’m a Republican because if the Democrats win, they’ll take away all of our guns and then hand everything over to the UN who will send a bunch of guys in black helicopters to take over the country
-I’m a Republican because I’ll get that much more in with Jesus so I too can be saved when the Rapture comes.
2 minute video of a guy thinking hard and ending with “…..I got nothin”
Youtube video starring Corky in 3 … 2 … 1
are they drunk? all of them? in what universe is this a good idea? What with all the great free publicity they have gotten lately. The kind of PR you can’t buy.
I’ve been waiting for an opportunity just like this.
shortsshortsshorts: Are you familiar with The Aristocrats? The Republicans would be a great punchline to that joke.
if only i had more time on my hands to create and edit a video… so many ideas, so little time.
I’m breaking out the rhinestone nutcup for my video.
Do you think wiping my ass with the constitution is too subtle?
KevoTron: The Aristocrats post seemed fitting…
Monsieur Grumpe: Oh c’mon, having the Constitution INSIDE you is about as patriotic as one can get. Wipe on!
The most exciting political event of the summer? Did they not hear about Ronstock?!?
I like the clips of soup kitchen workers followed by the people with shovels. The Great Depression jokes just keep writing themselves.
Surprised at the amateur porn submissions in response? I thought that was basically this dude’s raison detre.
Looking forward to seeing what the Log Cabin guys come up with. I bet the lighting and cinematography will be impeccable.
“I’m a Republican, even though they hate me and want me dead, because I’m super, super greedy.”
Because I want to be just like bush! Walk hand in hand with a white-robed Saudi king or prince at the faux Crawford ranch. Hiding in the bramble bushes and crawling under the white robe and taking that glorious kingly or princely penis in my mouth. Then after being satiated bend over grabbing my ankles and taking a good screwing for America just like bush has done for the past almost eight long years.
I’m a Republican because when I want to puke, I want you right there by me so I can puke in your mouth and you can swallow it nice and neat, thanks. Republicans like me need your support like that, ok? So be there for me, thanks again.
I swear, they had Ralph Reed in this video. What idiots. they don’t know how to do anything right.