Wonkette
Oh guess what, there is going to be a new, gritty reality show about the mean streets of Washington. It is going to be just like The Wire, but will instead follow the lives of a bunch of rich white southern gals who own clothing boutiques or whatever. Jesus fucking christ. [Yeas & Nays]
Who do i have to blow to get this piece of shit canceled? Seriously.
Where’s Liz G.?
This is why we fight in Iraq.
What the hell is wrong with that girls eye? It’s freakin’ me out.
Barf. Just what we need…more justification for the vapid blonde idiot contingent to continue to plague this city. I’m sure we’ll get a glimpse of the entirety of DC nightlife, including Georgetown and the low street number part of the Hill, and maybe some of Arlington.
Also: You may remember that Late Night Shots, the social networking site for the preppy set, was assisting producers in recruiting the cast. Eisenbaum said LNS is “definitely a part of the show,” but it’s unclear whether it will be part of the show’s title.
There are clothing boutiques in Washington? Fuck. Why can’t they just give Jeff Gannon his own show about blowing literally EVERYONE in the white house, like er’ry day. That would be some watchable television.
I hear Gary Condit is remodeling his “den.”
Just saying.
Of course, the seed money/posts that established this website should be partially examined lest an irony singularity develop.
OH GOOD GOD NO! At least “Real World: DC” would be worth watching. I might have to kill myself. College of Charleston?! Don’t people know that once you CHOOSE to go to school in South Carolina you’re not allowed to leave, i.e., quarantined?
S.Luggo: And everywhere else.
If they wanted to target me as a viewer, they’d title this show “Girls You’d Like to Hate-Fuck.”
Nice of Y&N to arrange the photos in order of “maybe” to “yes”.
“Pyle is taking a semester off from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill”
/academic probation.
Anyways if this actually comes through, Wonkette must destroy it.
PROMISE ME.
yes (bring comb), yes (bring eye-patch), yes, and no (too young)
“Girls Gone Bland”
wait, all their other eyes are off — even secretiona’s. these chicas work for the new york times, or wha?
polar_bear: Pyle? Please tell me that’s not her first name.
“Secretiona”? Snort. Nice one, Ken.
and S.Luggo: yes, we are bringing democracy to those poor heathens so they can be like us, the apex of culture and freedom.
So this is like Gossip Girl, but with poorer white people in a shittier city? Sounds like a fantastic idea.
sanantonerose:
“One thing is set in stone, however: the first cast members. They are local socialites/hotties/20-somethings Katherine Kennedy, Krista Johnson and Sophie Pyle. Johnson’s younger sister, Alexa Johnson, may also play a role in the show. (Both Johnson sisters are alumnae of South Carolina’s College of Charleston, Kennedy graduated from Loyola Marymount and Pyle is taking a semester off from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.)”
Barf
I’ve got a better idea. Why not let these bimbos get spun 50 times and stagger across the beltway at 7:00 AM?
Producers Patti Ivins and Julie Pizzi have worked on MTV’s “Road Rules,” FOX’s “The Simple Life” and “Who Wants to Be a Playboy Playmate?,” TLC’s “Date My House” and CMT’s “Pageant School: Becoming Miss America.”
Wow. These gals’ pedigree of unadulterated, pure evil rivals that of Karl Rove. And after a season or two of Georgetown name-dropping and LNS shenanigans, they might ascend to Lee Atwater-esque heights.
To Mathew (sweet spelling did your mom go to high school?) - I’d of said blow alex pareene, but since he’s no longer available i’m sure ken layne would accept your mouth.
To S. Luggo: Correction, we fight in Iraq so people like you can be angry at people who can be seen in public.
In all seriousness. Why do you all hate so much? I mean, seriously, what is it about you that makes you so hateful of others. I’ve never seen a more ‘bitter at the world’ group of people than the people that read this god awful site. Were you picked on when you were young? Do you have 3 nipples? Is this just a secret club for people with social disorders.
What did the 4 people up there ever do to you, other than maybe never sleep with you for reasons anybody could probably understand…
Tom Cruise:
NTJ! We missed you. Please stay.
Aren’t there black people in D.C.?
Tom Cruise: Tom, get off the couch. Oprah’s calling. It’s not snarky if you have to write “I mean, seriously…”
Tom Cruise:
Fuck you and the spaceship you rode in on.
Tom Cruise: I hate because you used “I’d of” as if that particular wording makes any goddamn sense.
tunamelt: Soooon…Tunamelt, sooooon..
tunamelt: Not in Georgetown. (unless they’re imports like Barry O. for special functions)
freakishlystrong: I’m just saying, even Gossip Girl has token minoriteens.
It’s funny when you read a comment and think “Wait till this gets some Wonkette poured all over it.”
College of Charleston girls? Darn it, why does everything South Carolina-related on this site have to suck? Would you believe we’re trying to cultivate a bad reputation in order to keep this lovely state all to ourselves? No? Yeah, I wouldn’t either. Stupid CofC girls.
Yes, we must always help Rich White Pretty Girls because they’re so disadvantaged thanks to their background.
Tom Cruise: “In all seriousness. Why do you all hate so much?”
Because, in all seriousness there are assklownz, such as yourself, out there….
Hm, no it *is* a little weird that there hasn’t been a single “I’d hit it”.
We kill black people in Iraq so people like you can post such things.
freakishlystrong: I thought it was because we were drunk and on drugs and our souls were rotting.
Tom Cruise: Note to Tom Cruise: do not criticize the spelling of another’s [made up] name if you think “I’d of” is proper English.
I will not address the merits of your remaining post, as I have learned not spit into the wind.
tunamelt: apparently, no “socialite/hotties”. Apparently, socialite/hotties must be white, blonde (fake blonde), pneumatic, overly-tanned, and vapid. But this is not racist.
tunamelt: and capable of anything
Look at you all. So angry. So sad.
yay! someone actually read the tip I sent in!
tunamelt: Well, yeah, that as well…and we’re mean to P’Tards..
It’s The Hills meets The Hill! Meets me with a gun in my mouth!
Tom Cruise: I am completely not angry. I see the world as it is and choose to laugh and do what I can to change it.
Tom Cruise:
tom cruise? good choice, but…
was pee-wee herman taken?
They wrote on Gawker that HBO’s planning a pilot based on Jessica Cutler’s life/blog/book Washingtonienne.
TGY:
Too phony and too commercial. “Girl Next Door” types are more desirable.
Tom Cruise: The one on the right reminds me of someone I went to high school with. I reserve the right to use my memories of high school to spew forth caustic bile, sometimes literally.
tunamelt: That should do well …
At least this show will be nicer on the eyes than watching the Sunday morning whores.
Get it?! See? Because these chicks are whores. And politicians are whores!!!
(goes back to waiting for Dennis Miller to call about those jokes he sent him).
psssst, I think “Tom Cruise” is really “Secretiona”
Ken Layne: Ken, I know it’s Friday, but please don’t bring down the ban hammer too quickly on Tom Cruise. I think he’s just getting warmed up.
Arrgh, these pictures of the DC Mensa Club will serve me well during long nights away at sea.
Ken Layne: It’s going to be a half-hour comedy. Oh, imagine all the jokes on anal sex you can cram into 30 minutes.
This show will be so fucking boring. They’ll to be too afraid to go anywhere except Georgetown, Arlington, or Adams Morgan except for the one inevitable episode where they “compassionately” reach out to the “coloreds” that happen to make up like 65% of the city, and venture into scary NE for 5 minutes to read some shitty book to disadvantaged kids and then run back and put it on their resume and everyone learns a lot about tolerance and I commit suicide.
Tom Cruise: “Look at you all. So angry. So sad.
Not sad. Not angry. Laughing. Not with you. At you.
Yes, Hell yes, Sure,why not and Yes,yes, oh god, yes!!
SEE, THERE’S THIS NEW SHOW, AND IT’S ABOUT FOUR GIRLS. AND GET THIS - THEY’RE ALL WHITE! I MEAN WTF?? AND ALSO THEY ARE NOT POOR - SO FUCKED UP.
So now we’re all 3-nippled bleeding-heart socialist faggot drunken derelicts? Still makes us superior to the LNSers and Paultards.
Tom Cruise: We are all angry because in the entire article there was not one mention of buttsex, and you know how jittery a guy can get without his buttsex, right Tom?.
gurukalehuru:
Nice ‘tude, Nice vacuum, Nice face, Nice cleavage.
“So now we’re all 3-nippled bleeding-heart socialist faggot drunken derelicts?”
Who said anything about drunken?
jagorev: you know, I always thought that was a mole. I am going to have to look closer.
Tom Cruise: Are you the sharpest tool they could find to send up over the hill?
Tom Cruise: I LOVE YOU!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I WANT YOUR DIANETICS IN MY ASS!!!!!
New idea: Why not title the show “This Is What We Mean By DC Hot”?
Servo: Your new idea is good too. I accidentally spit on my desk a little when I laughed out loud after reading it. The Beltway must be good for *something*…
Servo: Yes, but this is Wonkette. It’s a bit like fishing for trout: they’ll hit anything with feathers on it or something.
So who is going to slog through the first episode and count the number of utterances of the word “like”?
I think the one on the far right did me when back when she was a man. she wasn’t that nice of a man but she was stong. VERY stong
Servo: HA HA!!! HA!
Win.
I honestly don’t understand you people. We have a private website where some people choose to be assholes. We party in specific bars in a very small area of the city. We do not go out of our way to make your lives miserable like we did in highschool. Chances are you have had very little contact with us. So I don’t understand what the problem is? Can someone please enlighten me? Can’t we stop the hate?
Fratstar: No. Never. Bye bye.
Fratstar: Just die.
Do we really make you feel that inferior?
Wait, what hate?
I missed the hate!
If you mean this article…having something posted on the internets subjects it to criticism and mockery. Are you from Yeas and Nays or this awesome new show?
Fratstar: I’ve actually never had any contact with you lot and that is why I don’t have herpes.
Fratstar: Do we really make you feel that inferior?
Nope. We’re pretty much down on you in an absolute sense, on principle, rather than any relativistic sense of superiority or inferiority.
Fratstar: I’m sorry but inferiority is not in the Constitution, and therefore Paultard would vote against it.
Whatever happened to that young Orville Redenbacher who used to post on this site? The one who poked the ugly married chick.
Tom Cruise: Please go back to Michelle Malkin’s blog. That’s the real bitterness. And no, I don’t hate you because you’re beautiful.
tunamelt: Badda BING! Nice one!
KevoTron: Aww, thank you.
[rRuperttheBear: (I’m talking to myself) See,it’s like Mrs. Butterworth explode snark. And Tom Cruise was a pancake.
Fuck. Ok, Metaphor Police, I’ll come quietly.
Fratstar: I’m sorry, but you’re a bit confused. It’s already been definitively established that the commenters
on Wonkette are the frat stars and the Paultards are the nerds. Frankly, I’m not sure where that leaves the LNS crowd. Stoners? AV geeks? Teen mothers? Nothing really quite fits. Must be kind of scary, not knowing your proper clique.
Mahousu: Personally, I think we’re the sexually active band geeks.
Mahousu: I would go with “scum fuckers.”
pondscum: Scaling and pixelation ain’t the problem. At least two are walleyed (#1 & 2)…
Tom Cruise: How’a the E-mwter hangin’? Too bad, too sad you couldn’t get it up (heh) and working for Nicole. Did she refuse to dress up like a 6 year old boy?
Yet, on a serious and non-angry-naceous note, I must consider your statement: “To S. Luggo: Correction, we fight in Iraq so people like you can be angry at people who can be seen in public.”
Of course! I could have a V8. Looking back to the pre-GWB years when Saddam was in power, I realize how that hairy a-rab suppressed my free apeech rights and civil linerties, including the right to make a foreign call without a warrantless FBI tap on its contents.
I sleep better now. The sleep of the non-angry.
Who the fuck are these people?
tunamelt: In northwest? Georgetown? Where the fuck do you think Metro doesn’t go, and why?
Still, I’d hit that, and all y’all would too, just admit it now.
TGY: Sorry, didn’t see your note before I so stated that I would, indeed, “hit it”
Air brushed out the thought bubble: “you wanna see my what? are you nuts? Sheesh, can’t you see we’re bossy klitonistas and just this much cleavage is gonna rupture your vault springs?”
When did COC become the leading issuer of Mrs. degrees? Where were the sluts when I lived in South Cack in ‘91? Granted, I was twelve at the time, but…
I knew there was a reason that I would regret leaving North Charleston to return to ‘Sconny.
/Sconny, where the girls are just as slutty, but fatter… do not want
//more than I’ve already had
///why do I only feel comfortable dating fat girls? why didn’t I try to see what I could get with their smoky-voiced plains states chanteuse when I had the chance, ten years ago, when we were in college & (several years) before she got married?
What we really need is a “Real Housewives of Washington, DC,” not a bunch of D-grade interns not doing Gary Condit.
Our DC Houswives cast would include:
Rama El Sabah (botox’d, bleached blond wife of the Kuwaiti Ambassador who is apparently the Queen bee of the DC pishposh social circuit and a shoo-in for a hispanic drag queen doing Cher)
Any DMV ‘ho;
Bay Buchanan; and
Coventry Burke (not a housewife, or real, but I just love that name. Plus, she dates douchey douchebags from that DC members only frat boy group).