• May 25, 2012
THE GREAT GETAWAY

July 11, 2008

Fugitive Karl Rove On The Lam In … Some Foreign Country

by Sara K. Smith  

Karl Rove ignored a subpeona and skipped a House Judiciary Committee hearing this morning because he had “prior commitments” or somesuch. Rumor has it the commitments involved corn cobs, a tank of nitrous, and one very lucky goat on a Sicilian hillside, which naturally took precedence over this little attorney-firing selective prosecution [so many Justice Deparment scandals to keep track of! -- Ed.] flap. [Think Progress, YouTube]

{ 36 comments }

Indi July 11, 2008 at 1:49 pm

I can has bounty hunt?

shortsshortsshorts July 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm

i thought it had to do with his contribution to the conviction of whatever-his-name is governor guy??

msvainfl July 11, 2008 at 1:52 pm

This is totally a case for Dog the Bounty Hunter and his lovely wife.

Guppy06 July 11, 2008 at 1:52 pm

He said, she said!

C’mon, this is Nancy’s House, jack and shit will come of this.

freakishlystrong July 11, 2008 at 1:56 pm

[re=33982]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Or his contribution to the last dismal 8 years…

freakishlystrong July 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Oh, and Turdie? Don’t come back now, y’hear?

sanantonerose July 11, 2008 at 1:58 pm

Maybe he’ll wander into the waters off the coast of Japan. Then that white whale is mine!

/Capt Ahab

polar_bear July 11, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Maybe he’s in Iraq, inspiring our troops and leading our men and women to glorious victory on the front lines.

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 11, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Hey, and Limbaugh is off the air today too. Think they are both on a “Fat Guys and Little Boys” trip to Haiti?

Deepthroat July 11, 2008 at 2:05 pm

“but, yeah, so, you like, knew he was totally on va-ca, right?”

“no. we were not made aware.”

“but, um, i like, thought you knew that he was away and stuff”

“no. we were not made aware of his trip.”

“um. okay, but, so, he’s like, not here cause he’s on a trip. didn’t you know that?”

… and so goes the most important work in the world…

TGY July 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Perhaps he seeks to keep a low profile in someplace he’ll blend in: either Turdistan, Saudi Turdrabia, or Turdsilvania.

Jewdishoowary Square July 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Karl Rove has fled the country now? All of a sudden, our government has turned into “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?”. Can we get Rockapella to testify instead?

V572625694 July 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm

No one can treat Congress as if they were a powerless debating society and get away with it! Can they? Oh…I guess so. At least the Repubs know they’re useless rubber-stamp ditto-heads.

norbizness July 11, 2008 at 2:18 pm

The only this thing can resolve itself is with a hail of gunfire.

anabellum July 11, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=34033]TGY[/re]: hilarious…Turdslovakia?…

travellabyrinth July 11, 2008 at 2:36 pm

It’s a win-win. Either A. he comes home and goes to jail, enjoying daily forced sodomy, or B. He seeks refuge in Malaysia, probably crashing on Anwar Ibrahim’s mattress, enjoying daily consensual sodomy.

WhatTheHeck July 11, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Congress is an old, toothless hag.
How difficult can it be to give the old hag the middle finger, then the slip?

TGY July 11, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=34097]anabellum[/re]: In a goat-herders tent in sunny Turdraq! (Not to be confused with Turdraq from the Sun)

Guppy06 July 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm

[re=34009]Deepthroat[/re]: I was waiting for “Jane, you ignorant slut!”

Terry July 11, 2008 at 2:53 pm

I wish the House would grow a frickin backbone and send some marshalls out after Rove. Slap on the shackles and frog march him into that committee room.

regisgoat July 11, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Didn’t there used to be something called “contempt of congress”?

disgustedcitizen July 11, 2008 at 3:12 pm

I would pay good money to see someone shove a corncob, a tank of nitrous and a goat up that tub of shit’s ass. One second thought that would be too cruel to the goat, so make it two corncobs instead.

Guppy06 July 11, 2008 at 3:13 pm

[re=34175]regisgoat[/re]: We’re talking about Democrats here. I await Pelosi introducing a non-binding “sense of a the House” measure that, if it passed, would send a sternly worded postcard to whatever Dutch brothel Rove’s holed up in expressing their displeasure with his absence.

And all the R’s and half the D’s will vote against it.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 11, 2008 at 3:26 pm

A very, very strongly worded letter will be forthcoming.

Mo MoDo July 11, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Everybody is missing the obvious: Real estate shopping in Paraguay.

wonk_the_heck July 11, 2008 at 3:39 pm

And it’s No, Nay, never,
No, nay never no more
Will I play the wild Rover,
No never no more

I’ll go home to my parents, confess what I’ve done
And I’ll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And, when they’ve caressed me as oft times before
I never will play the wild Rover no more.

shortsshortsshorts July 11, 2008 at 3:40 pm

[re=34210]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Yes. The senate is so mad at Rove right now they MAY even write him a letter telling him so. AND THEN, when that fails, they will make a phone call to their families saying how angry they are. And if THAT doesn’t work, which it surely will of course, they will write yet ANOTHER angry letter.
This is how the judiciary committee works people, and DOES it work!!!!!!1!

BobLoblawLawBlog July 11, 2008 at 4:20 pm

Has no one checked under the moist stones near Fox News headquarters? I know those areas are densely populated, but still…
All snark aside, how does ignoring a Congressional subpoena not get you canned at Newsweek? It’s not like he’s protecting a source, or like they’re sheltering an irreplaceable asset (unless the emPHAsis is on the primary sylLAble).
Back to snark: Rove is fat, and I bet he smells like santorum. On his breath, no less.

Borat July 11, 2008 at 4:24 pm

[re=34033]TGY[/re]: careful now, I’m a quarter turdistonian and we’re marching against the paultards discrimination against us on saturday at 9am.

wander_lust July 11, 2008 at 9:39 pm

Check under the beds of all male interns in the DC area.

zhubajie July 12, 2008 at 10:02 am

‘regisgoat says at 3:03 pm, July 11th, 2008
- Reply

Didn’t there used to be something called “contempt of congress”?’

If they started punishing everyone who expressed contempt for Congress, there wouldn’t be many left free!

zhubajie July 12, 2008 at 10:04 am

YES, he’s hiding in Paraguay! Alternatively, he’s been tied up in a garbage bag with a cinder block, and thrown out of a helo, mid-Atlantic!

porchcow July 12, 2008 at 10:27 am

Does the Secret Service call him “Gutless Turd” now? Or do they still go with “Blossom?” In other words, within the turd culture, does gutless trump blossom?

BigDupa July 12, 2008 at 12:33 pm

Tasteless spoiler alert…. Bet they could find Rove at the Snow wake. There I said it.

1ofUS July 12, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Where in the world is Karl Rove? Perhaps in D’ja Bootie smokin a Dubai and rollerin’ a qatar ball up your ally?

nietzschefan July 12, 2008 at 10:44 pm

Perhaps he was in the country this whole time…gas was just too expensive for the drive to the Capitol Building.

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