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THE GREAT GETAWAY

Fugitive Karl Rove On The Lam In … Some Foreign Country

Karl Rove ignored a subpeona and skipped a House Judiciary Committee hearing this morning because he had “prior commitments” or somesuch. Rumor has it the commitments involved corn cobs, a tank of nitrous, and one very lucky goat on a Sicilian hillside, which naturally took precedence over this little attorney-firing selective prosecution [so many Justice Deparment scandals to keep track of! -- Ed.] flap. [Think Progress, YouTube]


1:47 PM on Fri July 11 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1334 Views

  1. I can has bounty hunt?

  2. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:50 pm, July 11th, 2008

    i thought it had to do with his contribution to the conviction of whatever-his-name is governor guy??

  3. msvainfl says at 1:52 pm, July 11th, 2008

    This is totally a case for Dog the Bounty Hunter and his lovely wife.

  4. Guppy06 says at 1:52 pm, July 11th, 2008

    He said, she said!

    C’mon, this is Nancy’s House, jack and shit will come of this.

  5. freakishlystrong says at 1:56 pm, July 11th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Or his contribution to the last dismal 8 years…

  6. freakishlystrong says at 1:57 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Oh, and Turdie? Don’t come back now, y’hear?

  7. sanantonerose says at 1:58 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Maybe he’ll wander into the waters off the coast of Japan. Then that white whale is mine!

    /Capt Ahab

  8. polar_bear says at 2:03 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Maybe he’s in Iraq, inspiring our troops and leading our men and women to glorious victory on the front lines.

  9. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 2:03 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Hey, and Limbaugh is off the air today too. Think they are both on a “Fat Guys and Little Boys” trip to Haiti?

  10. Deepthroat says at 2:05 pm, July 11th, 2008

    “but, yeah, so, you like, knew he was totally on va-ca, right?”

    “no. we were not made aware.”

    “but, um, i like, thought you knew that he was away and stuff”

    “no. we were not made aware of his trip.”

    “um. okay, but, so, he’s like, not here cause he’s on a trip. didn’t you know that?”

    … and so goes the most important work in the world…

  11. Perhaps he seeks to keep a low profile in someplace he’ll blend in: either Turdistan, Saudi Turdrabia, or Turdsilvania.

  12. Jewdishoowary Square says at 2:15 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Karl Rove has fled the country now? All of a sudden, our government has turned into “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?”. Can we get Rockapella to testify instead?

  13. V572625694 says at 2:17 pm, July 11th, 2008

    No one can treat Congress as if they were a powerless debating society and get away with it! Can they? Oh…I guess so. At least the Repubs know they’re useless rubber-stamp ditto-heads.

  14. norbizness says at 2:18 pm, July 11th, 2008

    The only this thing can resolve itself is with a hail of gunfire.

  15. anabellum says at 2:32 pm, July 11th, 2008

    TGY: hilarious…Turdslovakia?…

  16. travellabyrinth says at 2:36 pm, July 11th, 2008

    It’s a win-win. Either A. he comes home and goes to jail, enjoying daily forced sodomy, or B. He seeks refuge in Malaysia, probably crashing on Anwar Ibrahim’s mattress, enjoying daily consensual sodomy.

  17. WhatTheHeck says at 2:39 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Congress is an old, toothless hag.
    How difficult can it be to give the old hag the middle finger, then the slip?

  18. anabellum: In a goat-herders tent in sunny Turdraq! (Not to be confused with Turdraq from the Sun)

  19. Guppy06 says at 2:52 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Deepthroat: I was waiting for “Jane, you ignorant slut!”

  20. I wish the House would grow a frickin backbone and send some marshalls out after Rove. Slap on the shackles and frog march him into that committee room.

  21. regisgoat says at 3:03 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Didn’t there used to be something called “contempt of congress”?

  22. disgustedcitizen says at 3:12 pm, July 11th, 2008

    I would pay good money to see someone shove a corncob, a tank of nitrous and a goat up that tub of shit’s ass. One second thought that would be too cruel to the goat, so make it two corncobs instead.

  23. Guppy06 says at 3:13 pm, July 11th, 2008

    regisgoat: We’re talking about Democrats here. I await Pelosi introducing a non-binding “sense of a the House” measure that, if it passed, would send a sternly worded postcard to whatever Dutch brothel Rove’s holed up in expressing their displeasure with his absence.

    And all the R’s and half the D’s will vote against it.

  24. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 3:26 pm, July 11th, 2008

    A very, very strongly worded letter will be forthcoming.

  25. Mo MoDo says at 3:35 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Everybody is missing the obvious: Real estate shopping in Paraguay.

  26. wonk_the_heck says at 3:39 pm, July 11th, 2008

    And it’s No, Nay, never,
    No, nay never no more
    Will I play the wild Rover,
    No never no more

    I’ll go home to my parents, confess what I’ve done
    And I’ll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
    And, when they’ve caressed me as oft times before
    I never will play the wild Rover no more.

  27. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:40 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Advocatus_Diaboli: Yes. The senate is so mad at Rove right now they MAY even write him a letter telling him so. AND THEN, when that fails, they will make a phone call to their families saying how angry they are. And if THAT doesn’t work, which it surely will of course, they will write yet ANOTHER angry letter.
    This is how the judiciary committee works people, and DOES it work!!!!!!1!

  28. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 4:20 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Has no one checked under the moist stones near Fox News headquarters? I know those areas are densely populated, but still…
    All snark aside, how does ignoring a Congressional subpoena not get you canned at Newsweek? It’s not like he’s protecting a source, or like they’re sheltering an irreplaceable asset (unless the emPHAsis is on the primary sylLAble).
    Back to snark: Rove is fat, and I bet he smells like santorum. On his breath, no less.

  29. TGY: careful now, I’m a quarter turdistonian and we’re marching against the paultards discrimination against us on saturday at 9am.

  30. wander_lust says at 9:39 pm, July 11th, 2008

    Check under the beds of all male interns in the DC area.

  31. zhubajie says at 10:02 am, July 12th, 2008

    ‘regisgoat says at 3:03 pm, July 11th, 2008
    - Reply

    Didn’t there used to be something called “contempt of congress”?’

    If they started punishing everyone who expressed contempt for Congress, there wouldn’t be many left free!

  32. zhubajie says at 10:04 am, July 12th, 2008

    YES, he’s hiding in Paraguay! Alternatively, he’s been tied up in a garbage bag with a cinder block, and thrown out of a helo, mid-Atlantic!

  33. porchcow says at 10:27 am, July 12th, 2008

    Does the Secret Service call him “Gutless Turd” now? Or do they still go with “Blossom?” In other words, within the turd culture, does gutless trump blossom?

  34. BigDupa says at 12:33 pm, July 12th, 2008

    Tasteless spoiler alert…. Bet they could find Rove at the Snow wake. There I said it.

  35. Where in the world is Karl Rove? Perhaps in D’ja Bootie smokin a Dubai and rollerin’ a qatar ball up your ally?

  36. nietzschefan says at 10:44 pm, July 12th, 2008

    Perhaps he was in the country this whole time…gas was just too expensive for the drive to the Capitol Building.

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