Wonkette
Everybody knows the sad story about how John McCain catted around on his crippled wife with a fetching young beer heiress. But now it appears he was actually sort of married to both Mrs. McCains at the same time, in the sense that he had a marriage license with #2 before his divorce to #1 had been finalized! Why does John McCain hate America?
John McCain was such an amoral dingus back in the day that even the Reagans held it against him.
John McCain, who calls himself “a foot soldier in the Reagan revolution,” said in his memoir: “My divorce from Carol, whom the Reagans loved, caused a change in our relationship. Nancy . . . was particularly upset with me and treated me on the few occasions we encountered each other after I came to Congress with a cool correctness that made her displeasure clear.
“I had, of course, deserved the change in our relationship.”
Correction: John McCain does not hate America. He is a fleet-footed American hero romancer who probably already has like six marriage licenses lined up for his next string of brides.
McCain was still married to his wife when he got married to his mistress [AMERICAblog]
McCain’s broken marriage and fractured Reagan friendship [Los Angeles Times]
That…that’s not ch-ch-change you b-b-believe in! (Heh.)
This will pull in the Romney supporters.
Sadly, this makes the chances of a Mittens VP nomination all the less likely, as Walnuts has just locked up the LDS vote with his brilliant calculated bigamy.
WALNUTS! looks like a white haired John Levitz in that picture.
Maybe McCain will pick Rudy Guilliani as his VP, so McCain will look like a decent husband in comparison.
Wow, the first divorced President disapproved of someone else divorcing. Thanks, dickweed.
Seven Brides for the Seven Faces of John McCain
VERY nice alt on the image, Sara..
Also why does Nancy Reagan get to approve or disapprove of who other people marry?
GIJoeIce: Nancy Reagan is the blow-job queen
See what happens when you let the gays get hitched?
John McCain: the gift that keeps on giving.
This is going to be fun when the pundits pick it up!
Oh, wait.
Nevermind. Let’s hear some more about Barry’s imperiled nuts.
Big Love
I think I finally understand this family values thing. It’s more of the bargain values than the moral values. Two wives at once must be a heck of a deal.
Does this mean that once Juan is in office, he will divorce Iraq and marry Iran? Of course, I’m using “marry” in the Biblical sense.
I thought that signing the divorce papers with Cindy’s “lipstick remnants” was a classy touch.
Will Walnuts reveal his prenup? His Navy medical records? His VA records?
What sucks is this pretty much proves he really likes women, so no gay sex scandal for him.
Paultardville: Foolish. The more adamantly Straight and Married a Republican appears, the gayer he is. Except in the case of Charlie Crist, who of course proves the inverse.
McCain drinks the blood of his wives to stay alive, then discards them. That is why he is exactly 873 years old but looks a mere 300.
No longer content with denying the gays the right to marry, Republicans begin taking on multiple wives as the ultimate “fuck you.”
Nancy was the first second wife to be First Lady of a divorced president, so she’d know.
RuperttheBear: Only if WALNUTS! will wear magic adult diapers.
When asked about his concurrent marriages McCain replied, “I don’t know enough about this to answer right now. (Looks to corner of room, inflates cheeks defensively) But, I will get back to you on this today.”
See, if johnnie boy was muslim, this wouldn’t be news.
btw, was Chris Dodd a part of the McCain nuptials?
NoWireHangers: Walnut explains his green-screen speech thusly: “I was merely ACT-ING!”
I hear next he is going to drop the cunty trollop and shack up with the Slim Slack Slut…
Wait … McCain has multiple wives … Osama bin Laden has multiple wives …
Secret Muslim Terrorist! Manchurian Candidate!
Nancy told him to Just Say No! He had to go and Just Say Yes.
GIJoeIce: Why does Nancy Reagan get to approve or disapprove of who other people marry? Because of the royal funeral her late husband received, she is now the sole earthly authority on what is Good and what is Not Good. And a quick gander at the pictures of her accompanying the LA Times story will confirm that there’s nobody scarier than this old bird.
“[Nancy Reagan] treated me on the few occasions we encountered each other…with a cool correctness that made her displeasure clear.”
Crystal clear, I’d imagine, since Nancy’s normally such a bubbly little teddy bear.
JamesMichaelCurley: McCain wont release his prenup because hes referred to as Bad Poodle throughout the document…
toastandlove: That would explain Cindy’s pasty complexion. Well, that, and the fact that she’s probably been mainlining formaldehyde for years now.
joygasm: Commenty Awesomeness!
Everyone knows that marriage is defined as the union of a man and at least one woman. More if you’re a real stud.
Frankly, I want my leaders to be like Dogs with Two Dicks. Look where Dubya’s stable marriage got us? 8 years of pain ‘n heartache ‘n economic depression. Compare and contrast to the good ole days under poon-hound Clinton’s reign. Obama needs to start swinging his schlong around if he wants my vote….
wasn’t Nancy gang-banging the entire Rat Pack?
Getting hated by Nancy Reagan is the first thing I’ve heard about McSenile that makes me sort of like him a tiny bit….
The Trollope looks like some kind of trailer park Kim Novak in that picture. What the hell is that thing on the dress that’s trying to strangler her? McNasty looks like the retarded kid from high school wearing Andy Warhol’s wig.
Uncle Al: Let me talk you back from that ledge. Nancy hated everybody who wasn’t sending her free ball gowns, handbags, or astrological charts.
Shades of Andrew Jackson. Of course, he never crashed five planes and didn’t call his wife a trollopy cunt, at least as far as we know.
WALNUTS was merely planting his seed in as much of America as possible.
mookworthjwilson: I’d stick with the trollop.
What drugs was johnnie mac using when he crashed into the aircraft carrier and got shot down by a guy in pajamas with a pistol?
Considering Nancy broke up the Gipper’s first marriage, I don’t think she has a right to be judgmental. Hell, if a Republican cannot leave his crippled wife for money and a younger wife, he might as well just go to an airport and tap his foot.
Actually, the personal disapproval of Nancy Reagan would be a highlight in my autobiography.
Uncle Al:
Shit. I stole your comment.
pattycake: Your comment — “first second wife to be First Lady to a divorced President” — was convoluted/great; it reminded me of the old song, “I’m My Own Grandpa.” Which McPain might be!
WALNUTS!: serial bigamist.
shortsshortsshorts: He’s a regular Johnny WALNUTSeed!
Vanity Smurf: “free ball gowns” lol, Nancy loves the free balls.