PLEASE FEED ME  1:20 pm July 10, 2008

Hillary Selling Random Crap At Inflationary Prices, Because Time Is Running Out!

by Jim Newell

Check out the e-mail Hillary Clinton sent us this morning: “In May, Chelsea announced our ‘Project T-Shirt’ contest, and I never imagined we would have such an outpouring of support and great designs. …If you contribute $50 today you’ll get a t-shirt with the winning design and continue to help me pay down our campaign debt.Some PUMA person is freaking about the deadline for retiring Hillary’s campaign debt being tomorrow, which is about the only logical explanation for her team selling this piece of shit-on-cloth for $50. Coming tomorrow: buy a pebble Hillary Clinton found on the side of I-95 for only $2,300! [Hillary Clinton]

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TGY July 10, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Eh? Debt deadline? What are they going to do, ruin her credit rating?

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm

Too long, didn’t wear.

ManchuCandidate July 10, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Corrected T-shirt slogan: “For everyone who’s ever been the miles ahead front runner but lost anyway and for everyone who can’t deal with reality and never acknowledges losing. This one is for you!”

tunamelt July 10, 2008 at 1:26 pm

That won? Can we see the rejected designs?

shortsshortsshorts July 10, 2008 at 1:26 pm

How does it work? Is she not allowed to pay off the debt from her personal finances or something? I mean shit, if she is- she’s rolling in money. She can figure it out. And I wouldn’t pay 50 bucks for something I would wipe a horses ass with.

tunamelt July 10, 2008 at 1:27 pm
sweetits July 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Maybe Hilz should start selling a Mad Libs type book using all of the former prez’s crazy comments. Thay should help her debts retire quickly.

Jason July 10, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Maybe we could give her our economic stimulus checks.

tunamelt July 10, 2008 at 1:29 pm

Also, way to half-ass appropriate the “This Bud’s for you.” slogan.

Jason July 10, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=33012]tunamelt[/re]: I always thought “Hoes” was spelled “Hos”. Doesn’t the former mean the garden tool?

toastandlove July 10, 2008 at 1:30 pm

“This [sillhouette of an 11-year-old girl] is for YOU!”

tunamelt July 10, 2008 at 1:32 pm

[re=33021]Jason[/re]: Spades before hoes.

MoodProcessor July 10, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Rejected Slogan – “You ungrateful bastards. What the fuck happened?”

Doglessliberal July 10, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=33018]tunamelt[/re]: “Here’s to you, you pathetic, don’t know when it is time to give up, waste your supporters’ money, out of touch, truth manipulator!”

MoodProcessor July 10, 2008 at 1:36 pm

“I cant’ get enough of me.”

Larry Fine July 10, 2008 at 1:36 pm

She would get more money pimpin out Chelsea.

ForeignSickSpecialist July 10, 2008 at 1:40 pm

How is it the winning design? She’s still holding out hope that Hopey’s hope isn’t good enough?

Q2 July 10, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Damn. And I was hopeying for this one.

freakishlystrong July 10, 2008 at 1:41 pm

How come it’s not like this: FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN COUNTED OUT BUT REFUSED TO BE KNOCKED OUT…you get the drill…and is that supposed to be she, in a goddamn pantsuit?

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 10, 2008 at 1:43 pm

For everyone who’s ever said to herself “I SHOULD BE PRESIDENT, I’M WHITE. I’M ENTITLED.”…. This one is for YOU!


Uncle Al July 10, 2008 at 1:44 pm

[re=33038]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yes, I do believe the silhouette is supposed to be Hillz in a pantsuit. But why does she have male genitalia?

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 10, 2008 at 1:45 pm

Alternate design…

For everyone who’s ever had a BLACK MAN STEALING THE SHOW, this one is for you!

norbizness July 10, 2008 at 1:47 pm


Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 10, 2008 at 1:48 pm

[re=33045]Uncle Al[/re]: seems like a pretty accurate portrayal of her pusspouch, but it might also be her truck nutz.

Keram2 July 10, 2008 at 1:49 pm

That font is like two clicks away from being comic sans. OH MAN, I hate comic sans.

Botswana Meat Commission FC July 10, 2008 at 1:50 pm

[re=33052]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]:
It looks like she’s wearing Oops I Crapped My Pants.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 10, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=33056]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: why would they choose something that unflattering? jesus. why not just use that godawful picture of her and bill dancing in their swimsuits? (ps: greatful that wonkette no longer crossposts to lezebel. could you imagine?)

Servo July 10, 2008 at 1:56 pm

You’ll get a free copy of Hillary’s campaign DVD, Shoveling Shit Against the Tide, with a $75 donation.
A $100 donation will get you a free copy of “Presidential Campaign Home Game”.

Pledge now.

freakishlystrong July 10, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=33045]Uncle Al[/re]: Ummm…because SHE does…didn’t you hear?

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 10, 2008 at 2:00 pm

[re=33063]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: grateful, dipshit

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 10, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Walter Sobchak July 10, 2008 at 2:10 pm

In the PUMA comments:

“I am on Social Security and this is my second contribution in this amount this month. For me it means that this month I will not order any books from Amazon, my monthly treat to myself, and I will not buy any fabric to make shopping bags, another favorite activity.”

Sounds about right.

NoWireHangers July 10, 2008 at 2:12 pm

I’m in if they have a sweatshirt/sweatpants combo that makes it look like you’re really wearing a pantsuit.

shortsshortsshorts July 10, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Oh and the grammar on that shirt is IMPECCABLE.

columnv July 10, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=33022]toastandlove[/re]: I thought it was a hard-on at first.

graceless July 10, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Leave it to a faux feminist, having a t-shirt contest, that isn’t even wet!

Borat July 10, 2008 at 6:12 pm

umm, this will never sell. the main problem is all the XXXL sizes are sold out and there is no XXXXL, or as I like to say after spending my whole day on excel (X^4+L)

anabellum July 10, 2008 at 6:55 pm

hmmm…i visited the site, thats all i did…….and now im being spammed with ‘notes from Hillary’…

SwanSwanH July 11, 2008 at 1:00 am

[re=33087]Walter Sobchak[/re]: I haven’t seen that many rubes since Springfield bought the monorail.

“Monorail. Monorail.”

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