Oh And Did We Mention How Hilarious John McCain’s ‘Wisecrack’ Was?

  eat my shorts

BRING BACK SNORG GIRLHa ha ha, John McCain made an ungodly horrific “joke” yesterday that you’ve probably already noticed. When a reporter asked him about an increase in American cigarette exports to Iran, phunny humorist McCain responded, “Maybe that’s a way of killing them.” It’s amazing because this Very Dark Humor implies that killing innocent civilians is the specific strategy of the United States government re: Iran. Well duh! But still, check out how John McCain’s friends in the Associated Press treated this astonishing gaffe in the write-up: “Cindy McCain’s jab to her husband’s back came a second too late Tuesday to keep him from making a wisecrack about the health impact of Iran’s main import from the United States: cigarettes.” Ooooh golly, that pair, always with the loving give-and-take. He makes his silly wisecracks, she tells him to sit on it! We’re glad that the playful dynamics of their marriage is what we took away from this story. [AP, TPM]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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32 comments

  1. qwerty42

    Yglesias asks “…it’s worth considering how the AP would have reported this if the shoe were on the other foot. Ahmadenijad makes a “joke,” at a political rally, about killing Americans. Soft-focus human interest story?…”
    Of course, just the thing! everyone has a good laff and it’s back to the campaign.

  2. Imagine42

    Thank you Wonkette for always posting exactly the right picture for every story, forever.

  3. NoWireHangers

    Maybe he can re-release his classic, “Bomb Iran” with back-up by the Singing Senators. On the b-side of the cassette, a stirring rendition of “Let the Eagle Soar.”

  4. ronaldpagan

    The only thing that will kill John McCain is the relentless march of time. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, Walnuts.

  5. Jason

    She could always cut him off. She’s got a small fortune, and he’s only got his public servant’s salary.

  6. dmac

    Silly McCain. He should know the only drug users the U.S. government is interested in killing are its own citizens.

  7. Truculent

    The CIA tried to slip Castro some tainted cigars that were supposed to cause his beard to fall out. The idea was (no kidding) that the loss of his facial hair would make him look feminine in the eyes of his Hispanic countrymen and thus lead to his downfall. Why not try it with Muslims, whose religion demands male beardiness? Watch for a lot of Iranian men rubbing Rogaine on their faces soon

  8. madirishman

    The cigarette companies are always talking about “recruiting” new smokers to make up for all the poor dumb schmucks who go belly-up from lung cancer. It seems logical that the tobacco barons would want to broaden their market to the Middle East. Life expectancy there is chancey to begin with, so why not enjoy a little menthol-flavored coolness before you become part of the next “human wave” of soldiers?

    As for Walnuts–the best thing his campaign could do is duct-tape his mouth shut until November. Yes, there is a risk of suffocation, but I’m not sure anyone would really notice.

  9. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    Now that he’s got his sense of humor back he might also start moving back to the center. Look for him and Obama to cross each other on the political spectrum around Labor Day.

  10. cantabrigia

    It’s good for American jobs, and good for destabilizing a professed enemy of the U.S. by imposing increased healthcare costs over there. I frankly see no problem with this. But calling attention to this by saying it out loud? Seems like McCain hates America and is helping out the Ayatollahs.

    And Cindy’s whack to the back? Maybe they’re practicing for their upcoming reality/comedy show where she rolls her eyes at the camera every time that confused ol’ Walnuts starts sayin’ goofy stuff.

  11. I am the Liquor

    But doesn’t they realize that cigarette smoking is cool, thus making Iranians look cool in the eyes of the rest of the Arab world? And once Iran is established as the “cool” Middle Eastern country all Muslims are gonna want to be like them. And what happens next? The USA is seen as the uptight dean/snobby summer camp while Iran is the upstart frat boy/summer camp rebel. It’s madness I tells ya.

    “Your bra bomb better work Nerdlinger!”

  12. J-Man

    Well, with that comment he can write off Kentucky’s, North Carolina’s and Virginia’s electoral votes. His chain-smoking opponent is gonna get the support of all of those who work in the tobacco industry.

  13. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Hey, it worked with crack in the Ghetto and with smallpox in blankets. McCain knows an oldy but a goody when he sees it.

  14. PortlandSmartAss

    I think the fact that he did not immediately call her a cunt just shows that an old dog can learn new tricks. Even a really old dog. Who likes joking about cigarettes killing people.

  15. Borat

    i don’t know why he would say this since his wife’s booze company is funded by the iranians to rot americans livers

  16. Gopherit v2.0

    When I think lung cancer and cardiopulmonary disease, I think comic gold. Go get’em walnuts.

  17. schvitzatura

    [re=32583]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Cue Iranian trade embargo on American tobacco in 3,2…burley growing regions meth lab growth skyrockets!

  18. lovethebomb

    The news is that a republican admitted that tobacco is a lethal drug. O, and what of American consumers? Big Tobacco Death does not discriminate. That’s 2 things counter to (R) dogma.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    Okay, I call him McCrone all the time — but really, it’s not his age that’s a concern so much as that he’s fucking medieval. You can’t just declare his age as the reason Rudyard Kipling would find McCain’s sense of humor vile and repellent — you have to inhabit several different eras in order to achieve it. While his wit is a step above Dubya’s fart jokes, that makes him about age fourteen. And his xenophobia verbal finesse combine to plant him somewhere in Europe before the Pope declared non-whites to be children of Adam. Which I guess makes him an eighteenth-century adolescent.

    Oh, and like so many Republicans, his humor isn’t funny. It’s just mean. Bob Dole bitter, Nixon crass and Goldwater paranoid. No wonder his North Vietnamese jailers wanted to send him home.

  20. gjdodger

    [re=32625]lovethebomb[/re]: Jesse Helms is rolling over in his grave. And asking if anyone has a match.

  21. gurukalehuru

    Well, it almost worked with them black folks in Africa, but then some German touristy fagele decided he’d like a big Swahili dick up the butt, and the next thing you know all the homos have it and are spreading it to their wives, because of course any homo who wants to hold political office or have a respectable position in Western society outside of Hollyweird has got to be married, and the next thing you know all the fag hag wives are giving it to their drug addict rock star boyfriends, and from there it’s just completely out of fucking control.
    The whole thing just could have been managed better, that’s all.

  22. Mumble Softly

    I hope he gave that cunt trollop a good beating when they got home.

    WIFE BEATERS FOR MCCAIN 2008

  23. Mediahohoho

    I thought the point was to keep all the cigarettes in the U.S. in order to kill all the hard-working blue collar Americans still smoking. I mean, these people have been voting against their own self-interest for years anyway.

Comments are closed.