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pwnedKwame Kilpatrick, the laughable clown and still-not-fired mayor of Detroit, suggests that INTERNET HAXXORS may have gotten into his phone and sent slutty text messages to his chief of staff. His defense team is arguing that the prosecution (he might go to jail for perjury, obstruction of justice, and aggravated LOLing) must prove that the Mayor himself, and not some prankster, wrote the half-literate messages promising sexytime at the Benz Chili Bowl. At least one legal expert reckons this will not be too difficult. [Freep.com]

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27 COMMENTS

  1. For real? Hackers did it? Isn’t this just the lame excuse every guy uses to explain to his wife what his profile is doing up at Adult Friend Finder? Now it’s the basis for his legal defense? Awesome!

  2. I actually pulled this defense with my father one time when he questioned why i was being billed by correctional collect calling service. Sad thing is he believed it.

  3. LOL. LOL LOL. LOL LOL LOL. LOL LOL LOL LOL. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL. Dude! LOL LOL.

    Yep, them hackers are a mighty creative bunch, f’sure.

  4. I know the I.Hate.DC guy won’t approve of all this conspiracy talk, but I’m still fairly sure Kwame is being sabotaged by a secret cabal of tailors.

  5. OH MY GOD, WWW HACKERS MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN ON THIS SITE TOO. CANCEL ALL YOUR CREDIT CARDS AND CELLPHONES AND WAIT TOO WEEKS SO THE THREAT GOEZ AWAY. BUT YOU CAN STILL DONATE TO THE NOBAMA HOMES PAGES BECAUSE HILLARY WILL NEVER LIE.

  6. This legal team is clearly charging enough to retire after this case, because making this cannot-possibly-pass-the-straight-face-test argument has to be a last act for them. But maybe not. Shamelessness is often a cultivated quality in defense lawyers. Me, I cannot make an argument for a client that makes me laugh out loud, but I guess that is why I am not rich.

  7. Bet Ms. “Chief of STAFF” was some pissed when she followed a string of IMs to some mother’s basement and found a bunch of pimply faced hackers hoping for some of dat hummer love, ‘stead of Mr. Mayor.

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