FISA Overhaul Passes In Senate As Expected; You Should Probably Never Use A Telephone Again

After an exciting day of voting, the Senate has voted in favor of the new FISA surveillance bill, 69-28, and George Bush will now sign it into law in his secret masturbatorium.

Earlier in the day it rejected an amendment to strip retroactive immunity for telecom companies facing wiretapping lawsuits, 66-32; an amendment to have a district judge assess warrantless wiretapping before granting immunity, 61-37; and an amendment to delay immunity until after a yearlong government investigation into warrantless wiretapping, 56-42.

Barack Obama voted for the three failed amendments and later voted for the underlying bill.

John McCain did not show up to vote for anything, because he is too busy calling Obama a sally for voting.

Hillary Clinton voted for all three amendments but voted against the final bill.

Jim Webb shot everyone in the face for stealing from his knapsack of oats, which he carries on his person at all times.

[ AP , Glenn Greenwald (if you feel like working yourself into a lather) ]