Wonkette
Wonkette Bitter operative “Carl” brings us a very important EMERGENCY WONK’D today, in which he spots Barack Obama at Eliot Spitzer’s hooker hotel in Washington D.C. Barry, of course, is in town today to vote in favor of the illegal FISA overhaul. But mostly he is just talking on his cell phone and riding in a foreign terrorism-supporting S.U.V. and ignoring “Carl” and his Bitter friends. Read the account, after the jump.
I was walking on 17th St passing the Mayflower Hotel and I saw two black suburbans and a short bus (traveling press)– so I immediately knew it was either McBush or NObama. I decided to observe the spectacle with about 10 other blue collar workers and then Barry emerged! His cell phone was glued to his ear and he was lugging his own small piece of luggage. Instead of being friendly and waving to his gawkers, he just hopped in his gas guzzler. Next, chief strategist David Axelrod came out clamoring for attention and crawling at His Highness’s feet. Barry’s bodyman, Reggie Love, was more dignified in his pursuit of Mr. NObama and just checked out the scene. That was all I wanted to observe so I continued to walk past the four-star hotel to my mediocre, low-paying job (maybe that will CHANGE in November!!?? ha), but I could hear the sirens going toward K St. and I imagine the motorcade caused quite a traffic mess and upset a few people at 9:40 AM.
What a greaseball.
Soon Barry will be on the front page of TMZ with the caption “Obama and K-Fed locked in, Michelle back in rehab.”
I blame the gays for this.
Barry’s no longer ‘a man of the people,’ now he’s Mr. Big.
The power has already gone to his head.
I’m trying to decide whether the tipster was being ironic or is just that much of a retard.
Yeah, I bet a motorcade in Washington caused quite an unusual hassle for commuters. You just don’t expect those there!
shortsshortsshorts: …and shots of his crotch will be floating around the internets.
Hmmm, sounds like Obama is an actual real PERSON just like “Carl” (Rove? clever, changing the K to a C) and not a fucking Stepford robot programmed to amuse every idiotic person within his vacinity. He probably needed a cigarette! Maybe he had a headache? Maybe he just hates Carl’s stupid gawking face.
Obama has never been a man of the people. He had to go to a church to build up his “street” cred, hence the debacle with the crazy Rev. Wright. All politicians are power hungry. That’s why they’re running for the office.
Barry makes the press ride on a short bus. Fitting.
I’m sure if “Carl” had gone up to Barry and introduced himself as a Wonkette operative, his reception would’ve been much different (read that as you may). That’s the problem with being undercover: no one gives you the recognition that is your due.
I think I see Lindsay Lohan’s nipple in that blurry cell phone pic.
He must have been on his way to cash all those internet donations from his Ay-rab donors.
My screen is dark. Is that his knee, and who is that sitting in front of his crotch? Kristin Davis?
Deepthroat: Maybe he was just worn out from carrying Hil’s $20 million in his luggage.
Jason: Carl, is that you?
Hard to believe that such a biting wit as Carl has a “mediocre, low-paying job”. The terrorists have truly won.
ForeignSickSpecialist: No, this is Jason. I run the site at http://www.freedomspeaks.com
Honor and Dignity: No, Curtis Sittenfeld. Research, research, research.
PeteJayhawk v2.0: Yes, I think Obama was being incredibly polite and well-mannered. When bystanders gawk at me, I have my people punch them in the face.
WHY are you supporting FISA, Barry? A dagger in my heart. A dagger in my heart!
i don’t need some website to write a letter to my congressman
i am literate and can use the internets thanks
what a useless website
Yes, I am an Obamatard, but I am not getting what makes him a greaseball in this story. He rides in Secret Service-provided vehicles, about which he has no choice, he carries his own bag, he is on the phone. Okaaaaay. Maybe he was involved in the call, in a rush, in a bad mood, tired? If you dislike him, ok, but stretching this incident to make him appear bad isn’t working. (interestingly enough, I just spoke with someone at the gym a few days ago who said she and a bunch of friends saw him walking from some appearance recently. He was about 100 yds away. She yelled his name, and he walked over and gave them hugs and handshakes and chatted for 5 minutes.)
Jason: Your site looks interesting, but when i click on the “who we are” it doesn’t really tell me anything. I clicked on the issue of “seperation of church and state” which is a BIG interest of mine, and i’m not sure what all the comments are for… Explain yourself!!! (please?)
Man, get this fucker an arugula salad, stat! And one for “Jason” as well…
Doglessliberal: I disagree with you for no reason other than to be objectionable. You are wrong and I am right.
Doglessliberal: DAMN!!! I moved from DC right before all the fun started!
The biggest thrill i had was seeing Larry Craig at the Chinatown metro station… heading for the bathroom… i shit you not!
so Barrys actually going to be present for the vote?…how brave of him..
my theory is that hes going to use his cell phone as a key part of his plan to filibuster the bill…
as in, “can you guys hold the vote for sec…im on the phone”..
I knew it. It’s all a fucking trick. Hopey is just another liyng assphat politician chanting emptiness which will all too soon be forgotten as he leads us down perdition path. But I’ll tell ya what: I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. I’m voting for the Mocha Messiah anyway because (1) his election will drive the final nails in America’s slave karma, (2) I’m very very very bitter, and (3) I already have all the guns I need…except for that 308 Cal. DSA SA58 SPR I’ve been jonsin’ for (better get that before January Q!).
Doglessliberal: ha ha, everyone is joking…
shortsshortsshorts: OK. (the Zen defense against argument)
Deepthroat: clearly, a high point of your life!
Jim Newell: oh dear, have I been stricken with a terminal case of the lack-of-sense-of-hunmors???!! Oh no! I ran into a guy like that in the coffee shop this a.m., and I didn’t realize it was contagious. Mea culpa, everyone. I will go disinfect.
hi jason…*waves*….
hes one of my intertube friends…
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. I love the description of the press riding in the short bus.
Doglessliberal: indeed, indeed. It has only gone downhill from there.
Jason: All politicians are power hungry. That’s why they’re running for the office.
Get this man a Pulitzer! NOW!
How dare NObama have the audacity to exit a hotel as if he were, like, exiting a hotel. Who does he think he is? A hotel guest?
I’m with this assistant janitor/IHOP dishboy/Working Class Hero known as “Carl.” Obama’s a jerk!
running for “THE” office? Are they hurrying home to catch that show with Steve Carell on TiVo?
“Instead of being friendly and waving to his gawkers, he just hopped in his gas guzzler.”
The cheek of that nigra. THE GAWKERS WERE PROMISED A SHOW!!
Deepthroat: My kid pushed Carl Levin’s grandkid down at Lincoln Park! That’s sort of a celebrity sighting, right?
Carl is a moron who misread the situation entirely. Everyone in DC knows that Thomas Pink, men’s clothier located at the Mayflower Hotel, is having their annual *BLOWOUT* sale on men’s shirts and ties. If Barry was distracted, who can blame him?
Lolo: Did Levin throw off his glasses in a rage? Because a shot of Levin sans grampy glasses is right up there with Bigfoot and Nessy
The guy who wrote this said “Nobama” was holding a cell phone in one hand, and carrying luggage with the other, but somehow neglected to wave? Like a truly committed candidate would have worked out some sort of three-handed system for dealing with the attentions of the passers by?
Lolo: there’s also a Godiva shop and Tiny Jewel Box a few doors up, so maybe the chocolate and diamonds dazed him.
Hey! I just remembered another celebrity sighting. I was waiting in line for the bathroom at Red Door Salon on Wisconsin Avenue. Andrea “I don’t wait in line” Mitchell cut in front of me when it was my turn to use the stall. Bitch. Where was Carl then?
Doglessliberal: Don’t forget Filene’s! Maybe Barry was thinking about picking up some luxury bath towels for a fraction of what he’d pay at a department store!
Looks like this bitter got SHIT ON BY PROFESSIONALS!!!
Several years ago, I saw “Larry” from Three’s Company walking down the street in Toronto. But now I’m just bragging…
Jason: He’s the guy from the site where we friended Larry Craig the other evening because he had no friends. The hilarity lasted for about an hour and then we never went back to that site ever again, the end.
It must be done.
HILLARY WOULD BE OUT ON THE STREET TAKING SHOTS WITH THE BITTERS AND HANDING THEM BAGS OF CASH BECAUSE HILLARY IS SO COMPLETELY AWESOME AND NOOOOOBAMA IS OUT OF TOUCH WITH TEH POORZ AND THERE ARE MANY ISSUES THAT HILLARY CAN SOLVE IN THE FACT THAT NOOOBAMA CANNOT SOLVE THEM AND I TOTALLY THINK THAT HILLARY WILL SAVE US FROM DAMNATION AND WOULD DRIVE A HYBRID IF SHE COULD AND NOT SOME GAS GUZZLING CAR AND SHE WOULD GIVE HEAD TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!1!
rEVOLution!!!!!!!!!!1!
…is it sad that all I got from this was “OMG he was in the building right next to my office and I *missed* him?!” It is, isn’t it? Curse his distracting hotness.
Lolo: mmmmmmm, Filene’s….
I love the fact that they put the journalists on a short bus.
Deepthroat: No such luck. Carl was being his typical, cowardly, anti-war self. I told my kid, “Always attack the Iraq War opponents’ kids. They’re cowards and traitors and will try to appease you.”
That advice has served them well.
shortsshortsshorts: Thank you Shorts, thank you for your sacrifice..
StupidGeek: That’s exactly what I thought. And with all press following him, it must be a crowded bus. And one would think that journalists who have to ride the short bus would put out more negative coverage.
I mean, I remember one time the regular school bus broke down and they brough the short bus to pick us up, and two hours later my mom got a call from the truancy cops.
Jason: Jason you provide a great service for people who have yet to discover the interwebs. You may want to reconsider the whole website thing, though.
Lolo: I saw Richard Perle shopping for hats in Filene’s a few years ago. I eavesdropped, listening for insider neocon conspiracy planning, but he was just talking about how he always loses his hats and he can’t wait to get back to his villa in the south of France.
Deepthroat: Who we are is basically me at this point. I’ve bootstrapped the site myself but am actively seeking angel investment. The comments are just that - comments. If you write a letter and make it public, others have the opportunity to comment on your letter. Thanks for the interest!
leonT: If you don’t need a website to write your Congressman, why would you use the internet? Isn’t the internet just a big collection of websites? You might be literate, but you’re not too bright my friend.
anabellum: Hello anabellum. Sorry I had to take down your porn from my site.
Delicious: Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Carl was just disappointed — he was hoping for a shoe shine!
This has absolutly nothing to do with anything, but can i just share with you possibly one of the best headlines in a google alert ever?
“Van Halen-obsessed psychologist barred over lesbian tryst”
Maybe this should have gone under the possibly Laura Bush book post
Deepthroat: come on, give us the link!
Doglessliberal: not all that exciting, but i can’t figure out why the Van Halen issue is such a key element to the story… those crazy Aussies!
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/07/09/2298268.htm?section=entertainment
Deepthroat:
It’s just funny in a Ted Haggart way. Using Lesbian Sex to cure the patient of her lesbian-ness.
Deepthroat: The story seems full of nonsequiturs. Maybe the author had a strict word limit and left out some facts.
I love this:
“The patient told the tribunal during her final treatment session [note the dangling phrase, unless the tribunal WAS present at the session] that her psychologist gave her a ring and said “You’ll know what to do with it”, which she took to mean that she should give it to whichever of the Van Halen brothers she came across first.”
Huh? That doesn’t really flow from what came before in the story. But fab headline.
ManchuCandidate: I guess it depends on the curer. If I were lesbian and forced to have sex with Barbara Bush Sr. or Lucianne Goldberg, I think I’d be off all kinds of sex whatsoever for the rest of my life.
Carl, there’s a gopher on the 14th green … I want that rodent removed chop-chop!
The article Carl Bitter apparently wanted to write:
I was walking past the Mayflower on my way to my mission critical position as mid-morning shift replacement temp for 7-11 when suddenly I saw Barack Obama exit the hotel. Although he was carrying luggage in one hand and talking on his cellphone with the other, he stopped short when he saw me. “Carl!” he hollered. “Wait right there…Michelle, Carl Bitter is here. I must go.” he said into his phone. Then he came over. “Thank Goodness our paths crossed, Carl” Obama said. “I’ve been meaning to ask you what you think I should do about Darfur, health care, and the new EPA regulations on convenience store chili vending machines.”
We must have stood there chatting for at least 30 or 40 minutes until finally I said, “Look, dude. I appreciate you asking me and all, but I can’t figure all of this out for you. You’re the one running for president.” I felt kind of awkward really, but I had to go. I don’t know what Obama does all day, but I got a J-O-B man.
Get off it. He’s a busy man.
I think he was Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Except, you know, more hairy and less funny. So basically a moran.