Wonkette
The saddest thing about Hillary Clinton dropping out of the presidential race was the prospect that we might never again see a news story about the hilarious wankocracy that was Team Clinton. But hurrah, her campaign lives on, in the form of her campaign debt, which will never be retired because Obama’s people are so MEAN.
When Barack Obama sent out a note to his top donors asking them to slide Hillary a few dollars, here is what they said:
- “Why would I help pay off debts that Hillary amassed simply to keep damaging Senator Obama?”
- “Gas prices are up, the markets are in turmoil, my kid’s fall tuition bill is coming soon. Writing checks to politicians I don’t like is not at the top of my list.”
- “Not a penny for that woman. Or her husband. Or — god forbid — Mark Penn.”
So … things are going great! And of course, big Clinton donors are very, very hurt that they haven’t been able to buy their way into the Obama campaign. They haven’t even been given awesome titles like “Hillraisers”! And Barack Obama spends all his time campaigning for president instead of raising money for Hillary, which makes him un-American.
Obama donors aren’t rushing to aid Clinton [New York Times]
Probably because I’m an ornery cuss, but I just want to give more money to Hopey when I see these solicitations. Every penny to her is a penny less to him, and thus less money to fight the he-is-a-crack-smoking-Muslim 527 ads that will be coming along soon.
Well, you never know. All sorts of things can happen in these long primaries — maybe the HRC debts will be paid off by next June. Juuuuuune.
Hillary needs the following things from Obama before she’ll wistfully pretend to support him:
*20 million in small bills
*a pair of every style of Jimmy Choos
*the deportation of Bill Richardson
*a 30 foot statue of herself displayed at the Dem Convention
Hell, I like Barry but I haven’t even given him any money. Why would I pop my contribution cherry on her?
Barry, keep your money, and oh yeah, take a vacation too. You deserve it.
Hillary just has to do what all the other stars in America do. Make commercials in Japan! She’ll be out of debt soon.
is it sexist to point out that older women are cheap, ergo Hillary’s prime demographic supporters dropped the ball, and now they want a man to pick up the tab?
Give her money to pay off the debt she acquired staying in a race that was already lost.
Btw, Opera and comments are *still* broken with Wonkette.com. It’s been how long since the launch of the new site?!?
Hillary has enough money, so why should we bail her out. For fuck sakes, isn’t Billary’s net worth over 100-million dollars? How much is enough? There aughta be a law that people can have only so much money berfor they have to give some to ME/b>.
FunkyPalmettoBug: well, I certainly would like the Choos, but I don’t think she has even heard of them, and if she has, she could not walk in them. She is a Easy Spirit kind of gal (and the type of person to refer to herself as a “gal”). Sensible shoes and pantsuits for Hillz all the way.
No one likes a welfare queen, even someone as rich as the Hilsbot.
I’ll contribute a big fat penny, because that’s change I can believe in!
>>The saddest thing about Hillary Clinton dropping out of the presidential race was the prospect that we might never again see a news story about the hilarious wankocracy that was Team Clinton.
That’s true. You can turn on Fox News to get the wanking directly from Team Clinton.
Doglessliberal: I think she has a high heel and leather streak that would make her voters retch and barf. Bubba’s straying would tend to create sexual dysfunction on her end.
Someone has to pay for all those mochachinos.
…maybe she should make one of those commercials like the ones for 3rd world children.
“For only $100 dollars a day you can feed and clothe Mark Penn!”
…then again considering the fact that I’m in transit to Nigeria as I type this, maybe I shouldn’t be patronizing my fellow Africans?!
How about another chips with Bill contest? Better yet, shots of tequila with Chelsea.
I’ll donate 1 Filipino Peso and some week-old lunchmeat.
Door-to-door candy sales. Political buttons. War profiteering. Pimping daughter. Phishing scams.
Giving Hilldog money is like feeding a rat you just caught in a snap-trap.
“‘I think most people — I can’t say everyone — thinks that helping Barack is the best way to get help from the Obama camp to help retire her debt, which is a major source of concern for her right now,’ Mr. Patricof added.”
Ain’t it the truth. As the Violent Femmes said so succinctly, ‘Dance, motherfucker, dance!’ And if she and Bill dance real nice for the next four months, maybe Barry’s rich friends will cut them some checks.
If Hillary does a Jerry Lewis-type vaudeville telethon, I might contribute. Double if she sings “You’ll never walk alone” like Jerry does(triple if she tries to sing it in the same voice as Jerry).
TGY: Ok what are phishing scams? Where I live, ‘fishing’ is where homeless people go to little open air, semi-attended parking lots and use hooks to fish out dollars from the slots. The idea of Bill and Hillary (and Chelsea, of course) doing that makes me happy.
18 million votes= 20 Million dollars in debt. Well, you get what you pay for…
FunkyPalmettoBug: ew.
FunkyPalmettoBug: Better. If she rolls out a drooling, wheelchair-bound Bill and warbles “Won’t you pweeez help us?” I may raise my contribution to a quarter.
Screw that. If she’s debt-free, she’s free to run again, and that’s the last thing I want.
bunnyhead: Yeah, Hillz should get all her bitterz to pony up. If they all just gave up one shot and a beer per week, they could pay it off in no time.
FunkyPalmettoBug: This is why Dems need to start loving the guns. Nothing would be quite as fun, and calms as many souls, as shooting at a 30 foot statue of Hillary. Think of the therapy money you could save.
Who’s Hillary Clinton?
queeraselvis v 2.0: I’d go a dollar if she coughs up the lozenge in her mouth while she sang to Bill.
pondscum: Why do you think I was looking at Glocks this past weekend?
To paraphrase Dogbert today…Giving money to Hillary is like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel.
The Clintons bet on a loser and they should pony up with their own cash.
I will pay off Hillary’s entire campaign debt of $20 million in Zimbabweian dollars.
According to the Internet, ZWD$20,000,000 is equal to, approximately, USD$0.001.
Excuse me while I collect copper shavings from this penny.
AngryBlakGuy: The Nigerians could learn Hillz a thing or two about getting Americans to give you their money by harnessing the power of the internet.
While you’re there, will you ask around to check if the Nigerian Government has deposited the $30 Million into my account yet? With gas prices so high I really need the money.
The Clinton’s have, at a conservative estimate, 100 million dollars. That is 99 million, 900 thousand and a significant chunk of change more than I have.
If they use their own money to pay off their campaign debt, they will still have 80 million. Maybe not up there in the Mel Gibson category, but it’s still enough to live a pretty comfortable life style.
How ’bout we call the “Hillraisers” Barack scratchers. Will that make the whiny rich bitches happy?
Why, with all of this debt, did she keep calling herself the “fiscally responsible” one during the primaries?
Was she just trying to tell us that getting yourself into extreme debt indicates that you are presidential material??
AngryBlakGuy: When you meet the prince of Nigeria, please tell him I need my $2000 back. Thanks.
Mediahohoho:
Woo-hoo, God that’s funny: Barack scratchers.
So how’d we all like Obambo pimpin’ th’ lit’l chil’ren out? That’s was so cool that Obambo likes mint gum, huh? Hides the cigarette smoke, I reckon and keeps the taste of the crack hit goin’ a little longer.
AngryBlakGuy: Not to be a hater, but I think it’d take a lot more than a hundred bucks to feed Penn.
Okay, I am a hater. You know what? It feels good.
MoodProcessor: NoWireHangers: …no problem guys; just send me your account number, routing number and pin!
I gotta say, I’m one of those people who believe that she stayed in too long and she can just pay for those debts herself. She knew she was broke. Even that doofus billionaire Mittens knew not to throw good money after bad.
FunkyPalmettoBug: Dude. Love my glock 9mm.
confusionanddelay<: Well, I was thinking of switching html links in email, but your concept has merit.
I, for one, refuse to do anything that might eventually feed Mark Penn. Sorry Hillz!
This is a perfect example of how politicians love to spend other peoples money and then cry about it when it’s all gone.
I HATE MARK PENN, but I would kick in a five bucks to pay off the Kinko’s and other small vendors. But Hillary and Mark Penn CAN’T GET A PENNY OF THE MONEY!! They are out of luck!!!
I would kick in FIVE BUCKS to pay for the small vendors, but NO MONEY TO HILLARY OR MARK PENN!!
I can write Hillary a check or buy a bag of jelly doughnuts. OOOO! Jelly doughnuts!
pondscum: I’m getting a 31c soon.
Why don’t they just organize a big benefit concert for HRC debt relief, with U2 headlining?
Hillar-Aid, anyone?
Why don’t they just get to the brass tax.
SUPPORT HILLARY:
GIVE HER ALL OF YOUR FUCKING MONEY
thursdaynext27: How about “The Concert for Wonker-Cash?” Too obscure?
Hillary Clinton just voted against the FISA bill.
AngryBlakGuy: keep up the great comments from Lagos and come see me in Ikoyi. i have reefer
What’s totally insane about this is hillz supporters have no concept that debt is bad.
of all the posts i’ve made to BITTERZ websites saying that THIS SITE IS AWESOME AND HILLARY SHOULD GIVE ALL HERS EXTRA MONEY FROM THE CAMPAIGN TO THIS GREAT HOME PAGES SO WE CAN SPREAD THE TRUTH!!! HILLARY4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They all seem to think that taking on a $20bazillian debt is actually going to help them. This includes dickhead Ed at hcsfjm.com. Well, at least now I know why the number of foreclosures are going up with Bitterz.
The point was made earlier that if each of her “18 million strong” PUMAS gave her one dollar each, her debt would be gone. Everything except for the money owed mark penn.
Just on whim, I went to http://www.chrisdodd.com, and damn if he isn’t asking for money to pay off debt, too.
So is Bill Richardson, at https://secure.richardsonforpresident.com/page/contribute?source=W1008.
Joe Biden’s page just sort of looks like he’s still running for something - it doesn’t really say what - I guess he’s up for his Senate seat again this year so he doesn’t seem to be in debt. Same thing with Dennis Kucinich running for his House seat.
Amazingly, Mike Gravel is asking for help with campaign debt too, at http://www.gravel2008.us/. I guess the rock he threw was CGI, and he’s gotta pay back ILM.
John Edwards doesn’t say anything about debt, but he’s asking for contributions and has a note that Public Financing will patch your donation up to $250. I guess that’s what the box on your tax form is for, helping obscenely rich loser candidates pay off the debt they incurred at the hair salon. https://www.johnedwards.com/action/contribute/form/
Fred Thompson hilariously doesn’t seem to have a website, but hilariously you can still give money at http://www.fred08.com/donateemail.html to help draft him into the race!
Mike Huckabee is asking for money for his PAC at http://www.huckpac.com/ to help elect other people like him to Congress, like Jared from the Subway commercials.
Sam Brownback, Jim Gilmore, Tom Tancredo and Tommy Thompson don’t have websites any more, so either they never had them, they aren’t in debt, or they are so in debt they can’t pay $5 for cheap hosting.
Rudy Guliani is still looking for money - http://www.joinrudy2008.com/ - so appartenly at some point he will begin campaigning. Just you wait, I’m sure the strategy will soon unfo9lld.
It appears the only solvent losers are:
Duncan Hunter “Congressman Hunter has dropped out of the race. Please do not send contributions.” http://www.gohunter08.com/inner.asp?z=4
and…
Mittens! Mittens doesn’t even have any evidence of a residual donation page! He’s richer than stink! He just has a big THANK YOU and a quote apparently from Lord of the Rings. Good for him.