Wonkette omen operative “Jacklyn” sends us this photo and writes, “Does anyone know what these paintings are or why they are there? They are painted on streets all around the Mall… 3rd, 4th, and 7th, Streets NW at least.” We have no clue but are willing to conjecture: In ten days, a race of oversized, porous ribbed condoms from Outer Space will destroy this city and rebuild it as five-star day spa. Any other theories?

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  1. Noooooo! This is a secret repub sign signal reminding the faithful to wear a condom when ass fucking page boys to prevent evidential DNA collection. Kinda like sexually deviant Free Masons.

  2. [re=31583]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Klan hooded. No heart. No gut. Unhappy. Unsure footed. It screams “Look!!! I am empty! Without soul! Devoid of spirit!” Yep. Definately could be.

  3. It’s Waldo as a Klansman. All this time we’ve been looking for him, he’s been at a Klan camp, learning the ways of ignorance.

  4. Somewhere, some art student is creaming himself because his little “guerrilla art” stunt is getting national attention. I recommend we hit him with our death ray.

  5. This is in DC? Right? Check the surveillance videos to see who is doing the tagging. I’m guessing viral marketing and you played right into their hands.

  6. Dear God, is someome still sidewalk-chalking for publicity? The only one worth a damn in my book was a stencil sprayed on the sidewalks in D.C. a few years back. It read “Tuna Taco” and included a picture of something that could have been a taco, or something else. Done the week of the Gay Pride parade.

  7. It’s a disemboweled, sun-dried, and salt-cured Ron Paul voodoo doll avatar created by Hillary supporters in an attempt to sway Paultards towards voting for WALNUTS! and to piss off Barry Hussein. Am I right… eh? Am I right?

  8. He’s looking for his lite brite friends who visited Boston last year. He appears in the form of a condom because he intends to breed with the lite brites. We better get Homeland Security on this ASAP.

  9. Most likely if you ride past very fast on a skateboard and stare at the wall, you’ll get a ‘flipbook animation’ effect. And then you’ll run into something nasty and serves you right for looking off to the side when you should be looking ahead.

  10. These damned things are all over the streets of Philadelphia, too, right next to the piles of dog poop that people in this accursed city seem to think is some kind of decorative accent to our already run down and depressing streetscape.

  11. I may be wrong, but could it be related to the bunch of protesters outside my building on Wisconsin Avenue with the terrible slogans that are for democracy, student freedom and political reform in Iran??? They’re making quite a ruckus, but I feel as if they are lost. The Chinese embassy is a few buildings down, and they’re obviously no where near any federal buildings…

  12. There’s another one I walk by every day on my way to work at Fountain and Cole in LA. I’m glad somebody is finally trying to tackle this mystery.

  13. These exact figures are all over the sidewalks of Center City (Downtown) Philadelphia as well. I always figured it was an angst-full “guerilla” art student, as other readers have speculated. They look like someone laid down a little tar/concrete, or found freshly paved areas, and pushed them into it.
    Has anyone seen these in other cities?

  14. [re=31612]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’ve been seeing your avatar taped all over street signs and sidewalks in the Castro District of San Francisco and the West Village of New York and the South End of Boston. What are you trying to tell us?

  15. It actually looks a lot like a religous symbol of the Dogon tribe of west Mali. I remmeber it from an art history class in college. I think you should contact the Mali embassy in D.C. for the answer to this puzzle.

  16. Something for stroller babies to look at so they will not be overly disturbed when the aliens arrive after the babies have reached their cantankerous and conservative old age. Notice the images are appearing in centers of power, like Philadelphia.

  17. These “paintings” are actually secretive, clandestine symbols used by Interpol, The Trilateral Commission and The Illuminati to pass on secret spy codes about upcoming intelligence operations that will change the course of world politics, economics and climate change.

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