Wonkette
Have you noticed that Barack Obama’s hair is getting grayer? Because boy howdy these days he looks like the love child of Anderson Cooper and Donna Brazile. He is aging so rapidly that soon he will be older than John McCain. [TMZ, Politico]
HAIR STORY
He’s trying to lock down the Cruella DeVille vote
Send Barry a bottle of Just 4 Men. And while we’re at it, can someone tell WALNUTS! that his combover fools no one?
There may be snow on the roof, but there is heat in the genitals, or something like that.
The makers of Grecian Formula are weeping due to Unicorn’s lack of vanity. Look out Hair Club For Men!
Dye Activator?! You need to apply the goop first, then ‘activate’ it with another industrial chemical? Crikey, sounds like epoxy…or Sea Monkeys.
The whiter the hair, the more he will remind the bitters of Uncle Ben, thus reducing the “threatening black man image” to that of a genteel, demurring, gentle ‘good’ nigra who couldn’t possibly attract their women.
Larry Fine: By that standard, WALNUTS! is “On Fay-aaahhh!”
By the convention:
http://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/blacks-civil-war/images/douglass-portrait.gif
Did you read any of the posts on Politico? Lawd…
“Lith lies your hair turns grey then you nose starts getting long. thank god obabyh is unelectable. he doesn’t know nothinghow many press conferences does it take fro him to get his story straight , oh 8 or 10 depending on the polls.”
Is Dubya blogging now?
He seems to be aging at the same rate as Osama Bin Laden. COINCIDENCE should be noted here.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Yeah, the country is ready for Morgan Freeman for President, but not Will Smith.
I love this paragraph from the Politico article:
Ken Sunshine, a New York public relations consultant with a movie star clientele, exercised three treadmills away from Obama last week at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. It was 6:30 a.m., and “he looked pretty [expletive] good,” Sunshine said.
Ken Sunshine, future Wonkette operative?
ForeignSickSpecialist:
Either Uncle Ben of Famous Amos. Or Henry Sherman.
So Donna *is* Anderson’s boo! I knew it!
obfuscator:
That should be “or”, dipshit. Nice typing.
This will make the Bitters(tm) like him a bit more. Old boomer beeyotches loves them some gray haired men. Reminds them of their ex-hippie emasculated husbands that they order around daily.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Gym slash!
obfuscator: Or Uncle Tom.
whatever mccain uses to whiten…it’s really working well.
really well.
really.
Hey it just proves he’s not vapid and carefree — unlike a certain President McTwatwaffle, who’s managed to age, like two years since he eviscerated our civil rights, sank New Orleans and dragged us into Vietraq. His secret? A facial masque made up of all little torn-up pieces of the Constitution that we’re not currently using.
The photo reminds me of that damn Alannah Myles song.
Could Barry’s new nickname be “Black Velvet”?
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Oh, Geebus, no public relations consultant should have the last name ‘Sunshine’. I don’t believe it. Does Barry greet him in the morning? “Good morning, Sunshine.” It strains the credulity organ, whichever one that is. Possibly the spleen.
This is shocking and disheartening news! I have been assured since I was a lad that Black Don’t Crack. Is it possible that half-Black can half-Crack? Next thing you tell me, certain women who go… can indeed go back.
Botswana Meat Commission FC: Ken Sunshine? NY PR Consultant? Movie Star clientele? Wow, you can FEEL the warm jets of douche through the monitor.
TGY: Could’ve been worse. Could’ve had the last name Darling. Then Barry would greet him in the morning, “Morning, sweetie.”
ForeignSickSpecialist: Um, so not like Fred Sanford, then?
Botswana Meat Commission FC: what else would be be but a public relations consultant?
argh–HE be.
TGY: Ahh..but if they’re working on Hopey d’Hopesalot’s campaign they better be named Sunshine…
NoWireHangers: btw: I was fooled until now.
TGY: It’s the credulla oblongata.
I thought you could use Colt 45 for hair color too - isn’t that what Billy Dee Williams does?
SayItWithWookies: Dubya actually aged a lot.
TGY: I always wondered why my PR guy, “Dick Shitface,” never got me any gigs.
>>Ken Sunshine, future Wonkette operative?
Too subdued. A Wonkette recruit would have followed up with “I’d totally suck his dick.”
I love this line the best:
This is a guy, after all, who appears intent on staving off the effects of aging. Obama doesn’t drink coffee and, until his primary election poll numbers depended on it, he barely consumed alcohol. He quit smoking — for the most part, admitting that he’d had a few cigarettes in recent months. He eats trail mix. He drinks green tea. And he exercises every day…
She went on to note that he is so vain about “staving off aging,” he stopped jumping off the side of buildings, stepping in front of busses and shooting himself in the face.
tsunami: Actually, oldsters with white hair do need to use a special purple shampoo to keep it that snowy, downy white. Otherwise, the minerals in water will turn it a dingy yellow akin to that of Panama Johnny’s backup dentures.
““Men aging makes them look more authoritative, accomplished, distinguished,” Limbaugh said on his radio talk show.”
No Rush, aging just makes you fat, drug-addled and impotent.
I’m blonde and I use ye olde purple shampoo. It looks like I murdered Barney when I drip some in the shower.