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CHOCOLATE RAIN

Put That Thing Away, John McCain

Romney for Veep!In a Denver candy shop yesterday, John McCain asked a voter, “How about some old-fashioned fudge?” and the voter fell on the floor laughing about what a pervy old gaywad he was, the end. [Top of the Ticket]


9:43 AM on Tue July 8 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1568 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 9:47 am, July 8th, 2008

    I think it’s cause McCain demanded that Cindy’s fudge be packed real tight.

  2. Larry Fine says at 9:48 am, July 8th, 2008

    Most voters would rather be fudge-packed by Obama.

  3. Anita Cocktail says at 9:52 am, July 8th, 2008

    Kudos for finding an airport restroom photo of Guy Smiley.

  4. Makeithurt says at 10:01 am, July 8th, 2008

    A real gentleman will have rid himself of the fudge before he gets packed, sheesh. Doesn’t anyone have manners anymore?

  5. The Neoskeptic says at 10:06 am, July 8th, 2008

    i’ll take half a pound of packed fudge, a dozen trollips, and one bag of blogger cunts (I hate the blogger cunts).

    th-th-that’s not c-c-c-candy we can b-b-believe in…

  6. That picture is very suggestive. If asked to interpret it, I would say Mittens is getting ready to do some fudge digging up WALNUTS!’s ass. He looks pretty excited to me.

  7. ManchuCandidate says at 10:09 am, July 8th, 2008

    kudzu:
    Just picking the walnuts from Walnut’s Fudge.

  8. Makeithurt says at 10:09 am, July 8th, 2008

    I don’t like walnuts in my fudge.

  9. Serolf Divad says at 10:11 am, July 8th, 2008

    McCain chatted with a veteran he encountered in the store before perusing the countless rows of yummies and suggesting, “How about some old-fashioned fudge?” (Can you hear the McCain communications people cringing over the term “old-fashioned”?)

    By “old fashioned” McCain means: “back how they used to make it in the Olduvai Gorge.”

  10. The Fudge Factor? Bend over and hang on fella…OUCH!

  11. ‘And then one of the conscientious college students working behind the candy counter asked the accompanying reporters if they needed any help. And McCain answered with a smile, “There’s a lot of these people that need help, I guarantee you. But they won’t find it here.”‘

    If that’s high humor, I’ll stick with the low kind, thanks. I suppose he could’ve said “They’re beyond help”, which has the virtue of brevity. Or “Do you have any chocolate suppositories?” since scatalogical humor is always good for a laugh. But it’s all a wash: he just sounds mean.

  12. Uncle Al says at 10:21 am, July 8th, 2008

    I really don’t get it. Isn’t there anyone in the McCain campaign nervy enough to tell him,
    “Dude. Your biggest problem is people think you’re old and senile. You’re not doing yourself any good when you act like someone who just escaped from a nursing home.”

  13. capitol-hillbilly says at 10:22 am, July 8th, 2008

    what, were they out of werther’s original?

  14. JamesMichaelCurley says at 10:28 am, July 8th, 2008

    Another example why Mort Sahl, Tom Lehrer and others are out of work.

  15. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 10:29 am, July 8th, 2008

    Cindy looks so completely Botoxed-up in that pic that she’d be hard-pressed to open her mouth wide enough to accomodate anything larger than a Pixie-Stix.

  16. ForeignSickSpecialist says at 10:31 am, July 8th, 2008

    Old Fashioned Fudge=The Kind Packed in Closets, a traditional GOP delicacy.

  17. NoWireHangers says at 10:45 am, July 8th, 2008

    This means Mittens is Veep, right?

  18. Truculent says at 10:54 am, July 8th, 2008

    Did he offer to push in the voter’s stool?

  19. Hey, if you were stuck in the Hanoi Hilton, wouldn’t you try to pack some fudge? Old habits are hard to break.

  20. Canuckledragger says at 11:06 am, July 8th, 2008

    Increasingly, Wonkette is becoming obsolete. Why bother satirizing when one need only quote?

    Comedy gold, sure; but this shit writes itself.

  21. Dave J. says at 11:52 am, July 8th, 2008

    And then one of the conscientious college students working behind the candy counter asked the accompanying reporters if they needed any help. And McCain answered with a smile, “There’s a lot of these people that need help, I guarantee you. But they won’t find it here.”

    BUTTSECKS??

  22. Quacker says at 11:54 am, July 8th, 2008

    He doesn’t even NEED any more fudge. He’s got closets full of fudged truth he can serve at any moment. (if he can remember wher the closet is….)

  23. Quacker says at 11:55 am, July 8th, 2008

    Mittens is just plain disturbing. I’d rather have Vincent Price’s corpse as VP.

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