Wonkette
- The Fed will issue new lending rules for exotic and subprime mortgages. Wait, they haven’t done this yet? [New York Times]
- Remember Social Security, and how important it was in 2004? Nobody cares about it now, except the presidential candidates. [Washington Post]
- The weak dollar has sent Europeans flocking to the U.S. for plastic surgery as well as cheap blue jeans. [Wall Street Journal]
- The G-8 vowed to dramatically reduce greenhouse gas emissions by, let’s see, 2050, when everybody who committed to this goal will be dead. [Los Angeles Times]
- John McCain promises he’ll appoint more Alitos and Robertses to the Supreme Court. [Politico]
- Democratic National Convention organizers now have to deal with planning Barack Obama’s rock concert coronation orgy in addition to tracking down organic fanny packs or whatever. [The Hill]
DAILY BRIEFING
“Remember Social Security, and how important it was in 2004? Nobody cares about it now, except the presidential candidates.”
Well, since Al put that shit into the lock box in 2000, people have started to forget. Outta sight, outta mind, y’all.
“Democratic National Convention organizers now have to deal with planning Barack Obama’s rock concert coronation orgy in addition to tracking down organic fanny packs or whatever.”
No wonder they’re predicting Howie will have cost overruns for Denver. Why, the Astroglide alone….
In sum: The economy sucks and humanity is doomed b/c everyone’s going to be back-alley aborted in the hot-ass world w/o jeans and no pension plan. Oh, and Barry is going to get a hand-job from 75.000 of his favorite peeps.
That’s kinda all sad. Except the Barry part.
Greenhouse gas emissions will be halved by 2050 because of the market price of oil alone. DUH!
I am amused/saddened at the fact that there are probably some highly paid Democratic staffers and consultants who are racking their brains, as we speak, to figure out how one would do a balloon drop in a building that “has no ceiling”.
but the question on everyone’s mind is: where are Europeans going for cheap blue jean jackets?
“With its tongue-in-cheek tone and running lists of the “imploded” and the merely “ailing,” the Implode-O-Meter has become a sort of Gawker of the subprime world.”
I’ve said it before: Barack’s coronation orgy will be the new Woodstock. But did anyone listen?
Remember when Gerry Ferraro was like, “Come on now, McCain’s not gonna appoint scary people to the Supreme Court.” Um, yeah. Obama: please admit that you are going to stack the court full of sassy, brassy Ruth Bader Ginsburgs! We’ll love you for it.
Oh boy. More wonderful newz.
Old man McCain saves babies so they can be gunned down by guns, neglectfully killed by corporations without repercussion or die in Iran. I’m not as crazee with the Obamanination as I used to be but now I want him to win just to see you choke on your Diet Pepsi, Geraldine.
ronaldpagan:
Agreed. I’d like to see someone who is willing to get physical with Scalia and I don’t mean in a romantic kind of way.
Thankfully, Europeans are also adopting American orphans and saving them from a hellish future.
I don’t care about any of that. What I do care about is the Slim Slack Girl: she is creepy and she gives me the willies. Please make her go away.
I look forward to the America’s new place as T&A supplier to the world. I feel our Founding Fathers, Ben Franklin especially, would be firmly behind this initiative, possibly squeezing a bit.
John McCain must not be allowed to appoint a crop of doddering crétins finis to the SCOTUS unless they promise to die quickly after 4 year or immediately if not sooner.
Q2: I sense you are outvoted about the SSG, she of the pert cheekiness. Just my psychic playing up.
ronaldpagan: Obama agrees with Alito, Roberts and Scalia on the recent gun control and death penalty cases. At least that’s what he’s claiming.
Fleetwood Mac at Bubba’s inauguration pretty much set the tone for his presidency. No-one ever explained why Stevie Nicks was fifteen minutes late to the stage while the band played extended instrumental jams of their hits from the sixties.
So who do we think is going to play Hopey’s?
It’s a shame those “we-ee are everyday people” guys broke up so long ago…
What about George Clinton? Now that would be sweet! With maybe guest appearances by Dr. Dre and Snoop.
The WSJ is covering the Euro-shopping phenomenon only now? People have been flying across the Atlantic to raid your jeans shops for at least two years now. The jeans I’m wearing right now, in glamorous Europe, were got in a Target store outside of SF last year, and they cost $20 instead of the E100 they would cost over here. Bargain!
jagorev: But the open air arena is strategically brilliant for the Holy One’s ascension to the right hand of Martin Luther King, Jr. as the cool rocky mountain spring water flows with unlimited fermented libations as he turns a single fish into 75,000 3 piece fried whiting platters with hush puppies, cole slaw, hot sauce, and white bread slices.
Delicious: If there were American orphans of an acceptable color left to adopt, importing Chinese babies wouldn’t be so popular.
Cool2Snog: Hopey will bring back Peter Tosh and Bob Marley from the dead, with Jimi Hendrix on guitar, Thelonius Monk on keys, Lional Hampton on vibes, John Coltrane and Charlie Parker on sax, Miles Davis and Dizzy Gillespie on trumpet, Billie Holliday, Nina Simone, and Marvin Gaye on vocals, and the late great John Bonham, as token, on drums.
Dr. Dre will, in fact, create a live remix of “Bitches Brew” lovingly dedicated to HRC with a special guest appearance from Bill “Slick Willie” Clinton on sax.
I can’t wait. It’s gonna be awesome!
Delicious: Did you know that bizarre British boxer Chris Eubank recently had his teenage sons adopted by a woman in Las Vegas? Apparently he met her in an airport and it seemed ‘ the right thing to do.’
Are we allowed to have a presidential election without a balloon drop? I can’t find it in the Constitution but it must be the law somewhere. Probably in the same paragraph that says every none year-old girl’s birthday party needs a pony.
superfecta: Adopted, sold, whatever.