Wonkette
We cannot give all campaign ads precious real estate on Wonkette. No, it’s not because there is too much other news to cover — in fact there is absolutely no news, at all, ever. It’s just because we have no idea these ads are coming out. Ha! Anyway we’ve taken the last four minutes to scan over John McCain’s YouTube page for any recent comical web ads. The digging effort has been, by most standards, a modest success. The video above is brand new from today and gets you pretty excited about jobs — no small task, indeed. Two others, after the jump.
This one is called “Words” and attacks Obama for backing out of public financing. It does so by repeatedly showing a clip of Obama saying “DON’T TELL ME WORDS DON’T MATTA” with a loop of what McCain considers hip-hop playing in the background. What a black liar that Barry is.
Now this is some of the gayer shit we’ve seen in recent days. Our children’s narrator says that when Obama and his Muslim friends hijack the White House, they will put Barry’s face on the Statue of Liberty, Mount Rushmore, and the $100 bill. The ad wraps up with this killer closing shot. Are you ready for it? No, but here goes: “It’s change you can make in Photoshop.”
Sheeeeeeee-it.
John McCain Web Ad: Jobs for America [YouTube]
Words [YouTube]
Seal [YouTube]
My eyes glaze over.
Damned Muslim, bringing private financing to a publicly financed fight. Whatevs.
Holy Christ but McCain is a piss poor speaker. That first video presumably shows clips of his BEST soundbites, and each one of them is boring enough to put me to sleep, and sounds as though he doesn’t even believe his own shit. Unreal. He’s been a Senator for how long, and he still doesn’t know how to read the teleprompter??
That crazy muslim and his image editing software! Tar-nation!
JMac: “Be vewy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits.”
Bugs: “Eeyh, what’s up doc?”
BAM!
I’m John McCain and I approve this message.
McCain is criticizing Obama for backing out of public funding? After McCain broke the law he wrote by pledging his public funds to guarantee a loan, he backed out. He either defrauded the bank, or violated McCain-Feingold, but WTF. McCain has no shame, despite having so much to be ashamed of. I’m gonna hurl.
The most valuable smear I understand from WALNUTS is that Barry will outlaw the current discounts on feeding tubes for the elderly. I further understand that this smear made the olds all pissed off. It was after that point they realized Barry was black, and now there will be hell to pay.
so, if i watch these clips..can i go home?…
lesson summary: none of these videos are nearly as interesting as a bottle of wine…
anabellum: or, apparently, the ass on the woman from the american apparel ad.
shortsshortsshorts: WalMart Greeters for John McCain
Tawmn: Her eyebrows need work
Oh my, that third one is sooo witty. Jeff and I have been hooting at it over g’n'tees for the last hour! Later we’re going out to a fabulous jazz bar, and we will blow each other in the toilets. Vote John McCain!
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: You don’t do someone in the eyebrow. I think I could manage to look past that
Let me get this straight:
Vote for John McCain because Obama will deface your currency and cross-dress as a monument.
Or is it:
Vote for John McCain because Obama broke his word about some damn finance thing that makes most people kinda sleepy when we try to explain it to them, and anyway aren’t they both rich? I’m sleepy now myself.
Is this really the best they can do? Because they better step up their game once the Dems have their convention and Obama drops some of his unfair, unfair campaign millions on somebody to make a REAL campaign commercial- somebody like, I dunno, “Stevie Wonder and Steven Spielberg” or maybe, “Aerosmith, Sean “Puffy” Combs, and Martin Scorsese”.
That’s change you can believe in, baby.
Baconcat: Perhaps, but you can’t bring her around to social functions.
Tawmn: you hit it on the head…..some of us CHOOSE to ‘inhabit’ that ass…make ourselves ‘one’ with its overpowering allure…essentially, Be Her Now…
She is THE GREAT EXCUSE…come to redeem all sins of snark…
lol…i also dont know what that means…and im too tired to care…
Watched the first ad. What generation are you talking about, Gramps?
anabellum: Honestly, I could do with a nice Syrah myself.
Tawmn: im thinking gallo box-o-wine with an intravenous port…it was a rough day…
mondays suck…
That second clip has a nice steppers groove going on. And like the rest of the ad–they are pathetic.
#1: Sounds like it is either for or made by ITT Technical Institute
#2: Barry lied, but we don’t care, WALNUTS! Sucks that you’re broke, though.
#3: Change=Black President
Aw, you passed up on my current favorite, “Dr. No”.
Nothing says “get out the vote” like a 60’s James Bond themed ad. I’m waiting for the day when John and Cindy get all “mod” and wear Nehru jackets and go-go boots on the campaign trail.
FreshCliches: That’s pretty good. Dr. No? I mean, is WALNUTS! even trying to attract voters under 60? It’s a good movie, but WTF.
RuperttheBear: The real winners in todays flourishing economy.
OK, that first one: Is that designed to be in conformance with the Americans with Glaucoma Act?
Because the floating words need more work.
Lesson from Video 1: John McCain couldn’t inspire dish water to go down the drain. You forget he’s speaking even while he’s still speaking. I defy you to watch that video again and keep your mind from drifting off to what you might have for lunch tomorrow.
Lesson from Video 2: As an issue in the general election this public finance thing has the legs of a tick. And anyway, McCain’s hands are dirtier that Obama’s because HE’S BREAKING THE LAW HE AUTHORED AT THIS VERY MOMENT!! What a profoundly stupid campaign it takes to try to make an issue out of this under these circumstances.
Lesson from Video 3: When Obama is finished defiling national monuments, he’s coming to rape your white women. Ha! How “cheeky!”
Nuclear energy will create 700,000 new jobs! But what he fails to mention is that most of those jobs will require a college degree. A real college degree.
H-1Bs for everyone!
They should have had WALNUTS! come on for the ‘It’s ch-ch-change you can make in ph-ph-photoshop’ line.
The kids these days with their Photoshops and their iTunes and their EBCDIC! What is this world coming to??
And I’m insulted that McCain is against putting an actual (future) US president on our currency. Is McCain such a lefty liberal bootlicker that he’d prefer to keep a drunken, womanizing ambassador to France on our c-notes?
Naw, maybe he’d prefer to strike a pose http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G9jA-FGGd8
Hey I’ve got one, how about “that’s change you can xerox”.
Mahousu: EBCDIC, ha!
perfect for McCain… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EBCDIC#Criticism_and_humor
The first one’s interesting - blue backgrounds, Obama font in caps, blue tie.
McCain’s totally stealing the coolness of the Barry design!
2/3rds of all McCain ads use porn music. The remaining 1/3rd uses gleefully patriotic fife music.
What is “John McCain Country” and why does it have to come first??
“Damn nigro, git offa mah national monument!”
“I intend to act quickly … and decisively!” Jest as soon as I manage to get up from my rocker. Nurse!”
John McCain is aware of Photoshop.