PRESIDENT OF SHAME  1:27 pm July 7, 2008

Barack Obama’s Secret ‘Abortion’ Stance Comes To Light

by Jim Newell

My friends, since the Main Stream Media will not say it, we must: Barack Obama supports the legality of something called “abortion,” a procedure in which Jeremiah Wright and his imam minions steal your babies and sacrifice them to Hollywood Liberals. Why has this not been covered? Surely it is the stuff of Scandal? Thankfully we have the Christian Defense Coalition, which is launching its “Abortion President” attack campaign on Obama. Exactly how many of God’s babies has Barry personally killed?

Here is a statement about the campaign from Patrick Mahoney, the director of this secret “other” C.D.C.:

Senator Obama talks about bringing hope, faith and change to American politics. We now see this is all just political ‘doublespeak.’ One of his top priorities as President would be protecting abortion rights and even expanding them. If elected, Senator Obama would become ‘The Abortion President,’ with the most extremist policies on abortion of any President in history.

Senator Obama’s views on abortion are so radical that he even wants American citizens to pay for them. This would include Catholics, Evangelicals and all people of faith. He would also expand abortion rights through his passionate support of The Freedom of Choice Act.

The Christian Defense Coalition will be working diligently over the next 5 months before the November elections to educate people of faith, especially Catholics, that Barack Obama wants them to pay for abortions. This is not a candidate who is concerned about social justice, hope and equality. Rather, this is candidate who will continue the violence and pain of abortion and refuse to end this tragic war against America’s women and children.

Indeed, the most extreme, radical leftist abortion policies of any leader since Cronus. We want an American President, goddamnit, not an Abortion President. Our country is not called “Abortion,” or “Abortionland,” or “The Duchy of Babykillingbourg.” If Barack Obama cares about anything beyond himself, he should just go to those three countries and drink spiced orange tea with his pinky up and leave us the hell out of it.

Christian Group Launches “Abortion President” Campaign against Barack Obama [The Brody File]

 

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{ 39 comments }

Harvey Birdman July 7, 2008 at 1:31 pm

For some reason I suspect that quite a few CDC’ers have already paid for abortions. Unless they’re making butt babies.

AxmxZ July 7, 2008 at 1:32 pm

The Duchy of Babykillingbourg = WIN.

Cue ‘dead baby’ jokes.

Lascauxcaveman July 7, 2008 at 1:32 pm

It would be kinda cool if America was called Abortionland, tho.

Maybe then the rest of the world wouldn’t hate us; only the single-issue Christian voters.

Noodle Salad July 7, 2008 at 1:32 pm

Creepier gynecologist – Ron Paul or Uncle Sam?

Larry Fine July 7, 2008 at 1:33 pm

From this article I extrapolate that Obama will abort all non-Muslim babies if he is elected President.

shortsshortsshorts July 7, 2008 at 1:33 pm

Surely Zeus will trick Barry, thereby ending this age-old practice of devouring our nations children.

FunkyPalmettoBug July 7, 2008 at 1:34 pm

I’m confused: where is this in the Koran?

FunkyPalmettoBug July 7, 2008 at 1:34 pm

[re=30379]Noodle Salad[/re]: Uncle Sam doesn’t have Paul’s cold clammy hands.

populucious July 7, 2008 at 1:36 pm

“Senator Obama’s views on abortion are so radical that he even wants American citizens to pay for them. This would include Catholics, Evangelicals and all people of faith.”

So, if I understand the CDC’s stance correctly, they want a President who will gaurantee free or dramatically discounted abortions for all Americans, particularly for Catholics and Evangelicals.

That is the only sense I can make of the above statemement.

Hooray for the CDC! Fighting for free abortions for all Americans, particulary the God lovin ones!

mullingitover July 7, 2008 at 1:37 pm

This is excellent news…for Obama! He will promise to travel back in time and have George Bush Jr. aborted, thus sealing his victory.

tunamelt July 7, 2008 at 1:38 pm

[re=30385]populucious[/re]: That’s how I read it, too. I was like, oh, so you want them subsidized?

Guppy06 July 7, 2008 at 1:38 pm

How does one “expand” abortion rights? Let men have them too?

WonksRunAmuck July 7, 2008 at 1:40 pm

anybody up for mass mailings of wire coathangers? Oh to see the bemused expression…then the dawning horror and disgust on the faces of the “people of faith.”

ManchuCandidate July 7, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Stupid Christians. When the great Global Climate Change wipes out the farm animals, causes the extinction of dogs and cats and US America has a substitute meat supply, you will thank the great Obama for keeping meat on the table even if it is the “tall pork.”

NotUrEvryDayWEzl July 7, 2008 at 1:42 pm

How did John McCain survive Cronus?

Guppy06 July 7, 2008 at 1:42 pm

[re=30392]WonksRunAmuck[/re]: Been done.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello July 7, 2008 at 1:43 pm

[re=30390]Guppy06[/re]: mobile clinics at every public school. kinda like bookmobiles, but with more crying.

loquaciousmusic July 7, 2008 at 1:44 pm

He would also expand abortion rights through his passionate support of The Freedom of Choice Act.

“In ancient Rome, there was a poem
About a dog who found two bones
He picked at one
He licked the other
He went in circles
He dropped dead…”

This means something.

TGY July 7, 2008 at 1:47 pm

I thought the Christian Defense Coalition was some sort of association for defending incestuous pederasts.

kudzu July 7, 2008 at 1:49 pm

OK people; time out; hold your horses. The fundamental question here is very simple: will having Catholics pay for abortions benefit Halliburton’s profits? If the CDC folks were true Christians they would know that it is their duty to understand the impact an issue might have on Halliburton’s bottom line before assuming a position on that issue. I mean, c’mon, dudes! Your faith is only as strong as your commitment to Halliburton’s well-being. If you let your emotions drive your stance on a given issue without considering what’s really important you might just fall from grace again. Do you want Halliburton to follow on Enron’s footsteps? Jesus has not forgiven you for letting Enron fall prey to the tax-and-spend liberal Muslim homosexuals and he will certainly not forgive you if you prevent Halliburton from making money out of dead babies if that’s what it takes,

cal July 7, 2008 at 1:56 pm

Was Cronus a liberal? Enquiring minds want to know.

Oh, and “yeah abortion!”

DizzyLizzy July 7, 2008 at 1:57 pm

[re=30400]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: mobile clinics at every public school. kinda like bookmobiles, but with more relieved laughter.

/fixed

Guppy06 July 7, 2008 at 1:57 pm

[re=30400]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: Sounds like a way for the local school to save on cafeteria food as well.

Canuckledragger July 7, 2008 at 2:00 pm

So while these CDC’ers castigate Hopey for supporting wymyn’s right to choose, some of the wymyns are getting all concerned because he’s got an escape clause about late-term termination in his campaign verbiage, as disclosed to a Christian magazine.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20080703/obama-abortion/

Rather than trying to be all things to all people, the charge levelled against Hopey O. all too often, we have a candydate who wants to be no things, to nobody, never ever? Of course not, but that’s the way it’ll seem to too many who reason too little.

This will leave a double-edged stain. We all know how well the US electorate “does” nuance.

Suggestion: NARAL v. CDC in a fight-to-the death cage match, with Hopey obligated to side with the victor.

Suggestion #2: all men who wish to preach against abortion be required to demonstrate via notarized medico paperwork that they’ve had their tubes tied. If they’re not prepared to be part of the solution, they shouldn’t be allowed to discuss the problem.

This is an issue between a woman and her doctor and everybody else should butt the fuck out! Pierre Elliot Trudeau, referred to by Richard Nixon with his pet name “that cocksucker,” said the government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. I would broaden that to include the doctor’s office.

gjdodger July 7, 2008 at 2:31 pm

God Bless Abortionland
Land full of pain
First we rape ‘em
Then scrape ‘em
And we flush the remains down the drain
Dilatation
Curettagion
Every fetus
We will whack
God Bless Abortionland
With King Barack
God Bless Abortionland
With King Barack!

uncletravelingmatt July 7, 2008 at 2:33 pm

The “people of faith” should have to pay for the abortions. Making the atheists and agnostics pay isn’t fair, since they are all practicing homosexuals. Or so I’ve heard.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 7, 2008 at 2:34 pm

Wow, you have to get up pretty damn early to put one over on those fundies. Who would’ve thought a Dem presidential candidate would be pro choice?

Big Al1317 July 7, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Ok, then. The CDC hereby states it will adopt all unwanted babies in the USA and raise them as fucked up religious zealots forever. Now that would be taking stand on abortion.

anabellum July 7, 2008 at 2:44 pm

uhmmmm…note to the CDC: ever since the roe vs wade decision, state funding for abortion has existed in one form or another, generally for health reasons or in cases of rape…….

but in fact, for three years [73 to 76] medicaid coverage was available for all abortions without restriction…

i believe this makes Gerald R. Ford our ‘abortion president’…

AngryBlakGuy July 7, 2008 at 2:48 pm

…I think when they say expand abortion they mean, “Drive-Thru” abortions for all!!!

obfuscator July 7, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=30376]AxmxZ[/re]:

Fetusvania

The Sinful Republic of Late-Termistan

“We now see this is all just political ‘doublespeak.’”

Why the air quotes around doublespeak? These are confusing times we live in.

Incidentally, I’d have no problem paying for abortions as long as I’m allowed to choose my beneficiaries.

toastandlove July 7, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Hahaha, over on Jezebel there is a piece about how Obama is a Secret Fundie and wants to ban abortions forever.

Barry, everyone hates you now!

(But I still love you)

AnnieGetYourFun July 7, 2008 at 3:29 pm

Will the government accept Paypal? I’ll start sending my payments in today.

confusionanddelay< July 7, 2008 at 3:41 pm

As long as they promise to hand out lots and lots of those tiny fetus dolls, I’m cool with it. [re=30518]toastandlove[/re]: O and I know about the superchoicey people losing their everloving minds over Barry suggesting that some restrictions are ok on third trimester abortions without physical necessity. O NO! KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY! PIG!

S.Luggo July 7, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Hopey’s next public declaration will to be stand four square for the right of every fetus to own a tiny handgun. Presto-change-o, Barry’s problem with the fundies now fixed.

myklwain July 7, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Now you tell me. That little fucka costed me 300 dolluhs.

bitchincamaro July 7, 2008 at 4:27 pm

[re=30385]populucious[/re]: Well, if we have to pay for people of all faiths, at least let’s let the Jews handle the checkbook; that way we won’t have to pay retail. Shalom.

Borat July 7, 2008 at 4:35 pm

ya’all don’t understand. we can’t be sendin dead aborted babies to their death as 16 year olds in halfganistani. ya see according to da biblical is better to let someone get the flava of life before u sniff it out

villageatrois July 7, 2008 at 9:16 pm

What’s this? Obama has a wide stance on abortion? Glory be.

Modern usage of the word “nuanced” is fascinating. We used to call it “double-talk”, back when we still did the maths.

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