president of shame

Barack Obama’s Secret ‘Abortion’ Stance Comes To Light

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My friends, since the Main Stream Media will not say it, we must: Barack Obama supports the legality of something called “abortion,” a procedure in which Jeremiah Wright and his imam minions steal your babies and sacrifice them to Hollywood Liberals. Why has this not been covered? Surely it is the stuff of Scandal? Thankfully we have the Christian Defense Coalition, which is launching its “Abortion President” attack campaign on Obama. Exactly how many of God’s babies has Barry personally killed?

Here is a statement about the campaign from Patrick Mahoney, the director of this secret “other” C.D.C.:

Senator Obama talks about bringing hope, faith and change to American politics. We now see this is all just political ‘doublespeak.’ One of his top priorities as President would be protecting abortion rights and even expanding them. If elected, Senator Obama would become ‘The Abortion President,’ with the most extremist policies on abortion of any President in history.

Senator Obama’s views on abortion are so radical that he even wants American citizens to pay for them. This would include Catholics, Evangelicals and all people of faith. He would also expand abortion rights through his passionate support of The Freedom of Choice Act.

The Christian Defense Coalition will be working diligently over the next 5 months before the November elections to educate people of faith, especially Catholics, that Barack Obama wants them to pay for abortions. This is not a candidate who is concerned about social justice, hope and equality. Rather, this is candidate who will continue the violence and pain of abortion and refuse to end this tragic war against America’s women and children.

Indeed, the most extreme, radical leftist abortion policies of any leader since Cronus. We want an American President, goddamnit, not an Abortion President. Our country is not called “Abortion,” or “Abortionland,” or “The Duchy of Babykillingbourg.” If Barack Obama cares about anything beyond himself, he should just go to those three countries and drink spiced orange tea with his pinky up and leave us the hell out of it.

Christian Group Launches “Abortion President” Campaign against Barack Obama [The Brody File]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • Harvey Birdman

    For some reason I suspect that quite a few CDC’ers have already paid for abortions. Unless they’re making butt babies.

  • AxmxZ

    The Duchy of Babykillingbourg = WIN.

    Cue ‘dead baby’ jokes.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    It would be kinda cool if America was called Abortionland, tho.

    Maybe then the rest of the world wouldn’t hate us; only the single-issue Christian voters.

  • Noodle Salad

    Creepier gynecologist – Ron Paul or Uncle Sam?

  • Larry Fine

    From this article I extrapolate that Obama will abort all non-Muslim babies if he is elected President.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Surely Zeus will trick Barry, thereby ending this age-old practice of devouring our nations children.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    I’m confused: where is this in the Koran?

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=30379]Noodle Salad[/re]: Uncle Sam doesn’t have Paul’s cold clammy hands.

  • populucious

    “Senator Obama’s views on abortion are so radical that he even wants American citizens to pay for them. This would include Catholics, Evangelicals and all people of faith.”

    So, if I understand the CDC’s stance correctly, they want a President who will gaurantee free or dramatically discounted abortions for all Americans, particularly for Catholics and Evangelicals.

    That is the only sense I can make of the above statemement.

    Hooray for the CDC! Fighting for free abortions for all Americans, particulary the God lovin ones!

  • mullingitover

    This is excellent news…for Obama! He will promise to travel back in time and have George Bush Jr. aborted, thus sealing his victory.

  • tunamelt

    [re=30385]populucious[/re]: That’s how I read it, too. I was like, oh, so you want them subsidized?

  • Guppy06

    How does one “expand” abortion rights? Let men have them too?

  • WonksRunAmuck

    anybody up for mass mailings of wire coathangers? Oh to see the bemused expression…then the dawning horror and disgust on the faces of the “people of faith.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Stupid Christians. When the great Global Climate Change wipes out the farm animals, causes the extinction of dogs and cats and US America has a substitute meat supply, you will thank the great Obama for keeping meat on the table even if it is the “tall pork.”

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    How did John McCain survive Cronus?

  • Guppy06

    [re=30392]WonksRunAmuck[/re]: Been done.

  • Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    [re=30390]Guppy06[/re]: mobile clinics at every public school. kinda like bookmobiles, but with more crying.

  • loquaciousmusic

    He would also expand abortion rights through his passionate support of The Freedom of Choice Act.

    “In ancient Rome, there was a poem
    About a dog who found two bones
    He picked at one
    He licked the other
    He went in circles
    He dropped dead…”

    This means something.

  • TGY

    I thought the Christian Defense Coalition was some sort of association for defending incestuous pederasts.

  • kudzu

    OK people; time out; hold your horses. The fundamental question here is very simple: will having Catholics pay for abortions benefit Halliburton’s profits? If the CDC folks were true Christians they would know that it is their duty to understand the impact an issue might have on Halliburton’s bottom line before assuming a position on that issue. I mean, c’mon, dudes! Your faith is only as strong as your commitment to Halliburton’s well-being. If you let your emotions drive your stance on a given issue without considering what’s really important you might just fall from grace again. Do you want Halliburton to follow on Enron’s footsteps? Jesus has not forgiven you for letting Enron fall prey to the tax-and-spend liberal Muslim homosexuals and he will certainly not forgive you if you prevent Halliburton from making money out of dead babies if that’s what it takes,

  • cal

    Was Cronus a liberal? Enquiring minds want to know.

    Oh, and “yeah abortion!”

  • DizzyLizzy

    [re=30400]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: mobile clinics at every public school. kinda like bookmobiles, but with more relieved laughter.


  • Guppy06

    [re=30400]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: Sounds like a way for the local school to save on cafeteria food as well.

  • Canuckledragger

    So while these CDC’ers castigate Hopey for supporting wymyn’s right to choose, some of the wymyns are getting all concerned because he’s got an escape clause about late-term termination in his campaign verbiage, as disclosed to a Christian magazine.

    Rather than trying to be all things to all people, the charge levelled against Hopey O. all too often, we have a candydate who wants to be no things, to nobody, never ever? Of course not, but that’s the way it’ll seem to too many who reason too little.

    This will leave a double-edged stain. We all know how well the US electorate “does” nuance.

    Suggestion: NARAL v. CDC in a fight-to-the death cage match, with Hopey obligated to side with the victor.

    Suggestion #2: all men who wish to preach against abortion be required to demonstrate via notarized medico paperwork that they’ve had their tubes tied. If they’re not prepared to be part of the solution, they shouldn’t be allowed to discuss the problem.

    This is an issue between a woman and her doctor and everybody else should butt the fuck out! Pierre Elliot Trudeau, referred to by Richard Nixon with his pet name “that cocksucker,” said the government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation. I would broaden that to include the doctor’s office.

  • gjdodger

    God Bless Abortionland
    Land full of pain
    First we rape ’em
    Then scrape ’em
    And we flush the remains down the drain
    Every fetus
    We will whack
    God Bless Abortionland
    With King Barack
    God Bless Abortionland
    With King Barack!

  • uncletravelingmatt

    The “people of faith” should have to pay for the abortions. Making the atheists and agnostics pay isn’t fair, since they are all practicing homosexuals. Or so I’ve heard.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Wow, you have to get up pretty damn early to put one over on those fundies. Who would’ve thought a Dem presidential candidate would be pro choice?

  • Big Al1317

    Ok, then. The CDC hereby states it will adopt all unwanted babies in the USA and raise them as fucked up religious zealots forever. Now that would be taking stand on abortion.

  • anabellum

    uhmmmm…note to the CDC: ever since the roe vs wade decision, state funding for abortion has existed in one form or another, generally for health reasons or in cases of rape…….

    but in fact, for three years [73 to 76] medicaid coverage was available for all abortions without restriction…

    i believe this makes Gerald R. Ford our ‘abortion president’…

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …I think when they say expand abortion they mean, “Drive-Thru” abortions for all!!!

  • obfuscator



    The Sinful Republic of Late-Termistan

    “We now see this is all just political ‘doublespeak.’”

    Why the air quotes around doublespeak? These are confusing times we live in.

    Incidentally, I’d have no problem paying for abortions as long as I’m allowed to choose my beneficiaries.

  • toastandlove

    Hahaha, over on Jezebel there is a piece about how Obama is a Secret Fundie and wants to ban abortions forever.

    Barry, everyone hates you now!

    (But I still love you)

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Will the government accept Paypal? I’ll start sending my payments in today.

  • confusionanddelay&lt

    As long as they promise to hand out lots and lots of those tiny fetus dolls, I’m cool with it. [re=30518]toastandlove[/re]: O and I know about the superchoicey people losing their everloving minds over Barry suggesting that some restrictions are ok on third trimester abortions without physical necessity. O NO! KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY BODY! PIG!

  • S.Luggo

    Hopey’s next public declaration will to be stand four square for the right of every fetus to own a tiny handgun. Presto-change-o, Barry’s problem with the fundies now fixed.

  • myklwain

    Now you tell me. That little fucka costed me 300 dolluhs.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=30385]populucious[/re]: Well, if we have to pay for people of all faiths, at least let’s let the Jews handle the checkbook; that way we won’t have to pay retail. Shalom.

  • Borat

    ya’all don’t understand. we can’t be sendin dead aborted babies to their death as 16 year olds in halfganistani. ya see according to da biblical is better to let someone get the flava of life before u sniff it out

  • villageatrois

    What’s this? Obama has a wide stance on abortion? Glory be.

    Modern usage of the word “nuanced” is fascinating. We used to call it “double-talk”, back when we still did the maths.