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Hello everyone. How were your Fourth of July weeks? Well that’s wonderful. The worst Fourth of July experience this year was probably that of Jesse Helms, who hilariously died. But important founding father Thomas Jefferson also died on the Fourth of July (five, ten years ago-ish), and that’s why President Bush spent his holiday at Jefferson’s house, Monticello, among the ghosts of his “mocha” bastard slave children. And then RADICAL LEFT protest group Code Pink harassed him a bunch of times, just like they did every day when Jefferson lived his naked life with Sacagawea. [YouTube]

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32 COMMENTS

  1. Best part:

    President Fucktard says, “Lookie us! We believe in free speech in the United States of America”–just as the camera shows the woman being dragged off by goons to Guantanamo….

  2. [re=30325]Cicada[/re]: They want to make absolutely certain that security dudes get the right person for the full body cavity search.

    Wait, I read about this in ‘The Cask of Amoticello’ or possibly ‘Riunite’.

  3. Forget about the hippie agitators – why does W. actually pronounce ‘Monticello’ in proper Italian (with a ‘ch’ sound) rather than the correct manner? How does he always manage to fuck up?

  4. Did you notice in this and other footage from the event that most of the new citizens were pretty darn fair skinned? How did they manage that? Send the rest to Williamsburg for their ceremony?

  5. [re=30328]Uncle Al[/re]: What’s the problem? She’s just being dragged off to a free speech zone where she can celebrate freedom to her heart’s content.

  6. [re=30325]Cicada[/re]: Dressing like a homeless clown proves you’re not pwned by The Man. Or you have bad fashion sense. One or the other.

  7. [re=30337]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: I whole-heartedly agree. What has activism come to if it no longer permits teh furries?

  8. [re=30335]crookedE[/re]: Has anybody yet organized a heckle-fest where everybody just throws their empty beercans at the president without bothering to stand up?

  9. I like how the good Christian 28-percenters screech back “Shut the fuck up!1!11!1” whenever one criticizes Dear Leader.

  10. Do the last remaining supporters of Bush (all 17 of them) just follow him around the country to all his stupid photo-ops?

  11. [re=30334]mephistopheles jefferson[/re]: Actually, that is the correct pronunciation.

    I was just there last week when the secret service were checking it out in preparation for his visit. It was pretty funny to watch the Monticello staff try to stop them from breaking everything they touched.

  12. Montichello is how the name of Jefferson’s mansion is pronounced, because Jefferson was an urbane cosmopolitan who knew about stuff like Italy. Montisello is how the town in Georgia is pronounced, because, well, it’s in Georgia.

  13. ummm…did ya all forget what jefferson actually grew on his plantation? there’s like a wine cellar there full o hash and vintage coca leaves. vintage baby, it only gets stronger with age!!!

  14. Y’all call that a proper hecklin’? Sheeit, not even small arms fire. Now, way back when Hillary when to Bosnia, that was some fine hecklin’

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