Here is a bit of information that will actually make you stupider for knowing it: the planet’s wealthiest nations are run by a cabal of midgets. Russian President Dimitri Medvedev is barely large enough to get on the Ferris wheel at your average theme park, for example. The inverse correlation between height and political power explains Robert Reich’s terrifying reign as the Emperor of North America, and why pint-sized John McCain will be our 44th president. [ABC News]
DUMB TRIVIA
July 7, 2008
Our World Leaders Are Secret Hobbits
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{ 40 comments }
Putin likes his knob monkeys on the petite side.
Verne Troyer for Imperial Dictator of Mars!
My first thought: “Oh, Fuck. No *wonder*.”
There is nothing that gives more satisfaction than making fun of short people. Tom cruise is a fag.
Short men of the napoleonic stripe feel inadequate and project their own deep-seeded insecurities on taller women and the general public. Such men may compensate for their lack of height by excelling at something else, i.e. growing giant muscles, anger/smash, being assholes, and/or world domination.
A short, joyous man is a true gift.
Napoleonic Complex, what?
Left unmentioned is that Harper also is the most buxom of the bunch (sorry Fraulein Merkel.)
…Gary Coleman ’08!
I heard there’s a picture of Stephen Harper “dangling” after a shanked drive at the G8 Golf Club, his penis swinging dangerously close to Medvedev’s face.
I’m sure our tech-savvy members will unearth this photo.
It didn’t start or stop with Napoleon. Adolph Hitler, Idi Amin, et al, prove that we should all beware small corporals with large hard-ons. [It ain't sexual; it's psychotic.]
Keep a close eye on Sarkozy. Tiny stature; big chip on shoulder.
Long live the lollipop guild!!
[re=30246]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Will no one stand up for the small businessman? Well, you know, not necessarily ‘up’ but ‘higher’.
[re=30246]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: webster VP
[re=30246]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: What reverse racism. Come on, you couldn’t go with Herve Vellechaize? And don’t give me that “he’s been dead for 15 years” business … so was Warren G. Harding when he was elected.
Speaking of reverse racism … one of my regrets in life is that I never got to meet Jesse Helms in person, just so I could give a startled expression as we shook hands. When he asked about my stunned look, I would have said, “Well, you know … you’re name’s Jesse. I thought I was meeting a black man.”
I’d bring him back to life just to kill him again with that comment.
[re=30254]nbawriter[/re]: …Danny DeVito/ Verne Troyer ’08?
[re=30246]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I concur… Gary Coleman/Emmanuel Lewis ’08!
Midget Mac….
Speaker/Mumbler of The House.
[re=30259]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: That’s a dainty pair of crackers you have there.
“That’s what I like! Little things hitting each other!”
-Ian Holmes as Napolean in “Time Bandits”
This means Dennis Kucinich can be my President and Liz my Princess.
Suddenly I feel empowered at my imposing stature of 5’11″
OKAY, maybe it’s actually 5’10 3/4″ but who can tell the difference?
Dennis Kucinich is a big supported of the Little Man.
I’m hopeful for being drafted as the over-6′ exception on the EU basketball team.
I read somewhere that Nicolas Sarkozy is considering undergoing leg-lengthening surgery so he doesn’t look like Carla Bruni’s dwarf eunuch servant when they go out.
That’s why the goddess created stilettos.
This portends darkly (
) for Barry, who is 72.5 inches tall (that’s 184.15 centimeter for you elites). To become Leader of The Me World, Barry MUST have an operation to remove 12 inches of thigh bone.
On second thought, has erect penis length been considered in this learned research? I’d like to see a full public accounting of every male world leader’s full wood before I buy into this.
On third thought, it’s not the meat it’s the lasting power. I SAY NO MORE ELECTIONS! In their place we should have Erections. Nope! This is not Engrish: This is an etirely new concept in election management. Line up 100 super-models next to 100 dem candidates (and 100 page boys next to 100 repub candidates). Everyone gets a blowjob! The last one to shoot their wad wins. Believe me folks…this is gonna be BIG. The Pay-Per-View will be humungous. On the downside, Walnutz wins, hands down.
I’m 5′ 7″ and I rule! Submit immediately to my will, or I’ll kill you all!!!
[re=30297]Quacker[/re]: Produce a picture of your erection, and document your hetero (if Dem) or homo (if Repub) lasting power. Only then will I bow to a new Overlord!!!
[re=30295]Q2[/re]: First you have to be able to get it up, which means McCain will never make the first cut.
[re=30305]weirdiowasculpture[/re]: Ah! Yes! I figured Walnutz would never achieve orgasm — HOWEVER — Rule 7, Subsection 5, Article III, Paragraph 23 of the Federal Erection Commission’s Bylaws does indeed state that all “candidates must be able to produce an erect penis or clitoris without mechanical, medical, or prescriptive assistance.”
I’m the same height as WALNUTS!
David Kucinich for Hobbit Veep!
[re=30358]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: HOLY CRAP *Dennis* Jeebus Christ.
As a 5’6″ man, this is the best news I’ve read all year.
[re=30295]Q2[/re]: yeah you’re right McC would win the BJ receiving contst. Dat baby can sit quiet all night long until he gets some surgery to get it up. Now if he’s giving, sign me up, well not me, my angry poodle
Pah, we Aussies have known this since we voted out John Howard.
Robert Reich is HAWT. I just love his beard and the way he talks about us being a service-based economy. I’ll service his base anytime. BAM.
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