Wonkette
It appears the Democrats have come up with an absurdly constipated boondoggle of a convention that will show Americans, once again, exactly why they don’t like electing Democrats. From the massive expense to the terrible lack of planning to the weird diktat about frigging food colors, this whole thing confirms everyone’s worst suspicions about Democrats being spendthrift hippies with the souls of incompetent Soviet bureaucrats. The reporting on this clusterfuck reads like the paranoid scribblings of Rush Limbaugh on a three-day Oxycontin bender. Let’s review the ridiculousness together.
- The entire wretched event is completely behind schedule.
- Democratic Convention staffers operate out of plush Denver digs while the budget runs over, and over, and over.
- A disgusted Barack Obama has sent 10 staff members out to clean up this hopeless mess, although it might be too late.
- Every caterer in Denver hates the Democrats because they have demanded an inexpensive organic rainbow of locally grown food on every plate.
- There are no hotel rooms even for reporters from respectable national publications.
Basically, this is the gazillion-dollar nanny state writ large and a huge embarrassment for Obama and every other sane Democrat. Meanwhile, the Republican National Convention will be held in an abandoned Bingo hall and will feature a menu of creamed corn, green bean casserole, and packets of ketchup dissolved in water to make “tomato soup.” It will be wildly successful.
Delays and Rising Costs for Convention Raise Worries for Democrats [New York Times]
Clearly if Obama is sending staffers, it is a Hope-filled mess.
I know it’s Monday morning, Sara … but get it the fuck together.
If they really want to make it green, just give everyone a call in # and do a ginormous conference call. Almost zero carbon used on that one, though the local prostitution industry might suffer.
Oh, the opportunities for snark are endless!
This is truly shocking. Every other major mass meeting, convention, and gathering is always run 100% perfectly and accurately and on time and under budget. This is a shocking insult to John McCain’s service record and integrity.
“inexpensive organic rainbow of locally grown food on every plate” - in Denver, isn’t that cattle? ….mmmm…. You can taste the carbon footprint.
The GOP convention will be powered by wind … provided by Larry Craig blowjobs.
At least the band on the Titanic worked.
Just wait until the event at the Bronco’s football stadium is finalized. Then it will be Coors and Dogs for e’rbody!
Still has to go a long way with the Republican 2004 convention when they first wanted to house all the delegates in a cruise ship docked in the Hudson River. Truely a ‘Ship of Fools’.
The balloons! Where are the fucking balloons! Why aren’t you dropping the fucking balloons!
Me, I’m thinking “Arby’s.”
I hear that the largest cost so far is the 17-mile tunnel being constructed for Bill Clinton to walk through a la 2000.
hors d’oeuvres = Rockey Mountain oysters
Sounds like Hils is running the Con.
Yes let’s blame the democrats for a lack of hotel rooms. The supreme central committee’s 5-year economic plan did not foresee the need to build new hotels in Denver.
They ought to double up. But it should be one Bitter + one Gansta per room. Let the lovin begin
But the DNC spox says everything is fine and “right where we should be right now.” Translation — we’re fucked beyond belief. Plus, this food thing just gave every comedian and talk show blabbermouth an endless supply of material.
If hotel space is a problem, I hear there’s a big sale on FEMA trailers …
… and TruckNutz!
ForeignSickSpecialist: More like tofu dogs and a *sassy* Chardonnay.
So much for leading by example, and the Nancy Pelosi-like haste to fix it.
Locally grown food? There isn’t much a chef can do to doctor pine needles and grass.
RuperttheBear:
Me too.
Botswana Meat Commission FC:
So bad.
ManchuCandidate: Beat me to it.
Call the whole fucking thing off. I can’t stomach extravagananzic celebrations of self and this is gonna be a doozey.
Get the Hog Farm and The Rainbow Family to cater the thing.
Have Willie Nelson sing the National Anthem. Encourage couch surfing
and Craig’s List rooms. Back to ‘68! “The whole world is blogging!!!”
Why don’t they use McDonalds for catering? It is, after all, 100% beef now.
Well, no one really wants to be confronted with lime green mashed potatoes.
Also, why can’t they just leave the basketball court in place? Barry could make a slam dunk for each plank in the platform, as ’twere.
teebob2000: Start an immediate campaign on Obama’s website chastising him for moving to the center, whereas he was pro tofu and chardonnay, now he has always been down with Dogs and Coors. Waffles anyone?
“How could we have all died at the same time?”
“The salmon mousse.”
“Darling, you didn’t use canned salmon, did you?”
“I’m most dreadfully embarrassed.”
Tese guys could fuck up a wet dream.
I’m sure New Orleans could have used a DNC that went massively over budget. Of course, that’s how everything works in Louisiana, but still.
But it’s nice to know that the Democrats are demonstrating their ability to stop the free-fall spending that’s been the hallmark of the Bush administration.
An opportunity for bed and breakfasts, me thinks.
These idiotic conventions are nothing but huge wastes of time, money, effort, resources, staff, money, time, money, and more money. They should be two-day meetings with the only main news being the official nomination of the presidential candidate. Forget the idiotic speeches, the stupid “roll calls,” the DUMB costumes and hats, the moronic people, the stupid politicians giving boring, stupid speeches, and the wastes of taxpayer money on police, security, resources, utilities, and everything else. They are just huge piles of stinking crap–and everyone knows it. These things ceased being relevant about 50 years ago.
The Demoncrats have public fights about who spent the money, what color the food should be and the true meaning of “green” while the Ruthuglicans scurry around behind closed doors, trying to keep McCain from changing the platform to an update of “Critique of the Gotha Program”.
I know which one I want to watch.
thefrontpage: But look at the positive side–the local economic benefits.
No-diamond whores will be getting top dollar, boosting their self-esteem as well as their pocketbooks; fleabag motels can quadruple their rates for a week or two, so the owners and possibly even some of the employees will be able to increase the remittances they send to the povertry stricken tropical hellholes they emigrated from; good looking bartenders of either sex/gender will be forced to hire Brinks trucks to get their tip money home at the end of each shift.
Doglessliberal: That’s brilliant. The workaround for the disenfranchised prostitutes is to give them tax credits to transition them to phone sex workers. Safer gig anyway.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Ah, you can take the black man out of the elitist South-side neighborhood, but you can’t take the elitist South-side neighborhood out of the black man!
I’m down with a ice cold 40
http://www.beerpal.com/Steel-Reserve-211-High-Gravity-(8.1)-Beer/9876/ and some ribtips http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f106jouT9Ik !!
teebob2000: Who the fuck used parenthesis in their web addresses????
Try this one…
http://www.beerpal.com/Steel-Reserve-211-High-Gravity-Beer/9876/
thefrontpage: Amen, amen, amen. In my ournalism days I was forced to endure several of these enormous mutual masturbation sessions and drag “news” out of all the stupidity. Do the whole thing by videoconference as suggested above and enjoy the summer instead. The tedium of listening to the deputy county clerk of some town in Arkansas blab on, “The great state of Arkansas, hillbilly heaven, where Bill Clinton first got laid in a pickup truck, etc.” would drive even a Paultard around the bend.
snig: perfect!
I read the Times piece, it really does look like HRC and her people were all over that mess.
Borat: They ought to double up. But it should be one Bitter + one Gansta per room. Let the lovin begin.
HA HA!
(and Ewwww)
donner_froh: Speaking of employees benefiting from the convention, are Democrats or Republicans better tippers?
thefrontpage:
What? You you don’t enjoy schadenfruede when the confetti doesn’t fall? I live for those moments. Also there’s always the opportunity for a Zell Miller incident, and I certainly wouldn’t want to miss that….
Ack! …schadenfreude…..
“Democrats being spendthrift hippies with the souls of incompetent Soviet bureaucrats”
That’s actually pretty accurate, and I’m a Democrat.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Actually, the Broncos play at Invesco Field (at mile high, just to please the silly locals). That one baseball team that shocked anyone by doing, well, anything, plays at Coors Field, which is about a ten minute walk.
But Invesco? Seriously? They once had money for that shit?
Does anyone else here sense we are going to screw the pooch on the convention and blow the election?
Truculent: Political conventions always make me cringe. My high-school speech-and-debate students give better speeches. Politicians always violate the three basic rules of public speaking: 1)Be interesting, 2)Make a point, and 3)BE BRIEF! After 10 minutes, nobody is listening.
Of course, the only reason the networks broadcast the conventions is because they’re begging God for a train-wreck like Zell Miller or Elizabeth Dole’s weird little bit of Stepford Wife theatre. They have to have SOMETHING bizarre to analyze, since the speeches are canned and wretched.
Personally, I’d love to get all the delegates liquored up and turn them loose on the arena floor. Bump any two of them together, let them exchange insults, and watch the brawl begin! Now THAT would be television worth watching! It would give a whole new meaning to the term “floor fight”.
NedPepper: Oh, the Democrats will definitely screw up the convention, but the election is still up in the air. I agree with the model proposed before the 2004 election:
If more than 115 million people vote, then Hopey wins.
If less than 115 million people vote, then 4 years of Walnuts.
Democrats, vote early and often!
Servo: now if this were Boulder not Denver locally grown would produce some results. I know, I grew up there and dont remember anydang.
last time i was there i decided to be a veggietarian for the weekend. you can actually do that in boulder and its good. but you end up fartin a lot cause of da beanz. a damn lot. i mean a methane producin alot
If they can’t run a convention, they can’t run a country.