Charlie Crist Getting Married So He Can Pretend To Be McCain's Vice President Until November

Orange-skinned Florida "bachelor 4 life" Charlie Crist is the latest in Florida's long line of moderate Republican politicians who live swinging, middle-aged male lives without women. But he apparently really wants to lose with John McCain this fall, so he has announced the impending tinkle of little wedding bells!

Charlie was married for like five days way back in 1980, but that didn't work out so well, due to differences between Charlie and the lady, whoever she was. He had some fake girlfriend last year; we don't remember what happened to her. And there was that one time Jeb Bush called a reporter a jackass for asking about Crist's sexytime or something.

His new gal pal is ... eh, read the story, we are late for dinner. Happy July the 3rd leading to the July 4 holiday weekend, everybody!!

 Crist is engaged [TampaBay.com]