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I AM AWARE OF ALL INTERNET TRADITIONS

Internet Wisdom For Your Holiday Weekend

Our pretend buddy and former colleague Will Leitch left the sports blog Deadspin last week. As he invented that popular website and has a reputation for being an agreeable human being — rare for the Internet — we were interested in his parting words. Here are some of them.

When you hear old-school folks like Bob Costas talk about how “meaner” everyone has gotten online, it’s clear they’re missing the point. It’s not that people have suddenly become cruel toward you; it’s just that you can hear them now. Twelve percent of this country thinks Barack Obama a Muslim. You think 100 percent of your readers/viewers are going to love you? But so many people have constructed their careers in a plastic bubble, where only their friends and supporters talk about their work. Now that the Web’s here — and we use the word “now” awfully liberally — it’s amazing how unprepared they are to handle criticism.

Someone Hates You Online. Try Not To Be Offended [Deadspin]


5:15 PM on Thu July 3 2008
By Ken Layne
4384 Views

  1. WhatTheHeck says at 5:22 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Ken, in spite of what others say about you, I like you… even though you live in L.A.
    But I do like making fun of you sometimes, but that’s just the web in me leaking out.

  2. columnv says at 5:26 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    The Internets can help us vent our angry sometimes.

    Morans.

  3. RobPetrified says at 5:28 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    I for one, am happy to see the American Apparel ads on Wonkette.
    Now where’s the motherfuckin’ Snorg Girl?
    Do not mess with me, assholes!
    You will truly KNOW what its like to be shit on by a professional!
    Oh, and happy fourth of July /Independence Day weekend.

  4. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:29 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    …oh suck it up and have a stiff drink you #$%*%!

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 5:33 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Does this mean I have to thank Tony the Tiger for trying to steal my identity (among other commenters) and chasing me up and down the Gawker empire?

    I think the ‘tubes is a good thing. Keeps you honest for the most part. If people don’t like you they’ll let you have it. Erodes the importance of boot lickers and pops bubbles. Oh, and the porn–NEVER forget the porn.

  6. Delicious says at 5:34 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    All the Internet has done is reveal how many assholes there really are in this world.

    Thank you. Have a great Fourth!

  7. RuperttheBear says at 5:35 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    I scrolled up on that American Apparel ad. Yikes! Lady looks like a dude!

  8. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 5:39 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    RuperttheBear: She’s got a Clinton ass though. Yowza!

  9. SayItWithWookies says at 5:42 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    What is this “sports” thing?

  10. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:43 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Gawd some of you people are real assholes! Why can’t you be nice to everyone like me?

  11. weirdiowasculpture says at 5:47 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Vicious seething hatred is an internet tradition you should all be aware of by now. Morans.

  12. tunamelt says at 5:49 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: Fuck you, shorts.

  13. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:54 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    tunamelt: Where in the Constitution does it state that a sandwich has rights? You are a SLAVE for my MOUTH, tunamelt.

  14. tunamelt says at 5:59 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: By that logic, doesn’t that make you a slave for the asses of America?

  15. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:04 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    tunamelt: Until 5:30 p.m.? Yes.

  16. greatgooglymoogly says at 6:08 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Fuck, I just figured it out. The Internet is simply a huge pressure valve designed by the Man to relieve all the stress and angst that would otherwise be expressed in — in — the unpredictable results of a motivated voting public! AUGH! We’re all mean-spirited drones, doomed to be slaves forever! AUGGHHH!!

    Oh, well. Pass the Cheese Doodles. And the TiVo. Happy 4th of July, my fellow American Morans.

  17. Canuckledragger says at 6:15 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: “Why can’t you be nice to everyone like me?”

    Well, shorts, because there is nobody else “like you.”

    Good thing, too. One’s enough. If there were two, productivity in the USofA would sink to an alltime low.

    Oh, you meant “why can’t you be nice to everyone like I am?”

    Fuckin’ ESL tard. Next time, try English.

  18. loquaciousmusic says at 6:25 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Canuckledragger: Be careful. The 200 or so ESL students I’m teaching right now will come up north and kick your tuckus.

  19. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:26 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Canuckledragger: People like me!!!!! People. Like. Me!
    Open to interpretation, but all answers to all questions are “no.”

  20. Canuckledragger says at 6:31 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    loquaciousmusic: I’m an hour west of Toronto, 312th cutoff, third igloo on the left, the one with the four hungry, flea-bitten dogs on the “lawn” and the massive Canuckistani pot flag a hundred feet up the pole.

    Bring ‘em on. But BYOB/P/A/D/etc., please.

    RSVP.

  21. Odd Ass City says at 6:43 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Canuckledragger: You meant to say: “Why can’t you be nice to everyone, as I am?”

  22. Lascauxcaveman says at 6:45 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Canuckledragger: “Oh, you meant “why can’t you be nice to everyone like I am?”

    Or did he mean “Oh, you meant “why can’t you be nice to everyone as I am?”

  23. tunamelt says at 6:48 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts: I just got told I can leave early. So there, America!

    Also, happy fourth, assholes.

  24. edgydrifter says at 7:09 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Leitch, inferring that Bob Costas is thin-skinned, unaware of all internet traditions, or in any way less than the zenith of sportscasting and general manliness is the second-to-last mistake you’ll ever make. Now go blow your fingers off with an M-80 and cram sparklers in the stumps. Merry friggin’ Independence Day!

  25. lawrenceofthedesert says at 8:38 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Bob Costas looks suspiciously like Rocky the Flying Squirrel and lives in perpetual fear that this separation at birth will become public. I can totally empathize, since I look exactly like Bullwinkle.

  26. Banzai77 says at 8:41 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Bob Costas is aware of the hate.

  27. RuperttheBear says at 9:06 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: In that “I wish everyday was reverse cowboy day” kinda way.

  28. josereyes.theroof says at 9:11 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Choice picture. Can’t wait ’til my Crew passes the Leitch’s Cards.

  29. ladymacbeth says at 11:27 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Canuckledragger: dude’s in stratford.

    i knew it.

  30. gurukalehuru says at 12:54 am, July 4th, 2008

    People like me! People like me. People, like me. People,like, me. People! Like me! So many possibilities.

  31. It’s also true, strangely enough, for convertibles. Though you may imagine all your fellow drivers to be sweetness and light (especially if you’re high on something), when you roll your top down in nice weather and find you can actually hear them, you discover what motherfuckers they actually are.

    This is that ‘hell is other people’ motif you often find in literature and The Twilight Zone, and strikes you as unerring, universal truth until someone does something really nice for you, then appears a bunch of hogwash until you’re ass-fucked yet again.

    It’s a funny old world and no matter where you go, there you are.

    What was the topic? I forgot.

  32. Borat says at 7:54 pm, July 6th, 2008

    RobPetrified: Tell me about it. I can look at those american apparel girls all night long.

    By the way, a gay (non-muzzie) buddy of mine bought me what appears to be an unofficial Obama 08 t-shirt in Chicago. It is printed on an american apparel t-shirt. Is this some kind of conspiracy?

  33. Borat says at 7:57 pm, July 6th, 2008

    Canuckledragger: What does the rest of “BYOB/P/A/D/etc” mean. I will come prepared, just place your order now

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