About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Comments

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  • columnv

    Freedom, bitches!

    Go HIllZ!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …that eagle has a uncanny resemblance to WALNUTS! I know I’m not the only one that see this.

  • TGY

    Nothing says ‘Happy Fourth of July’ better than…sock puppets…doing a vocal ‘extraordinary’ rendition…of ‘Stars and Stripes’. Uh. J. P. Souza would be…would be…

    “Email it so everybody we know!”: priceless. Or at least worth a dollar.

  • TGY

    ‘to’, even. Fuck it, I’m outta here.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=29475]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Oh no, that’s Fred Thompson. Animal bears a stunning resemblance to Walnuts (and the two chickens? Cindy’s dual personalities).

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Very inspiring. I’m going to get liquored up, put a flag on my bike and run over some of the neighbors lawn ornaments shouting “Take that commies!”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Why do the muppets celebrate US America using illegals? Deport Swedish Chef and that Penguin (and maybe Animal too.)

  • jamescarmel

    Muppet penguins! That just made my day. They were always my favorite.

  • jamescarmel

    Penguin, singular. Only one penguin here. But the multiple penguins, collectively, were my favorite, back in the day. Just so we’re clear.

    Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen just one muppet penguin at one time. Huh.

    And yes, I’m still running out the clock here at the office, why do you ask?

  • pondscum

    Swedish Chef cooked those two chickens right after the fade-to-black.

  • DemmeFatale

    Sam the American Eagle and Sen. John Warner. Separated at birth?

  • SayItWithWookies

    200 days, 20 hours and 37 minutes to freedom!

  • GIJoeIce

    What’s funny is you could have told me that was a clip from “War Stories with Oliver North” and I wouldn’t have known any better.

  • Q2

    Happy birthday America. Freedom is not free.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=29518]Q2[/re]: Yeah, but it has to be cheaper than whateverthef*ck we’re saddled with now.

  • nyhfrog

    …And this is only one of a very few reasons that I love my country.

  • queerbubbles

    Hil friggin lariousness on a scale with which I cannot comprehend!!!!

  • graceless

    Way to redeem yourself Sara K.

  • Guppy06

    Well, it’s certainly the first bit of culture, morality and patriotism I’ve seen on this website!

  • Paultardville

    American Eagle has a unibrow, he’s probably a product of that polygamist sect.

  • anabellum

    for the first time in my adult life, i am proud of my country…

  • bitchincamaro

    I shall begin my observance of the Day of the Eagle by ingesting massive quantities of Polish Keilbasa, Czech Pilsner, and German sauerkraut. As soon as I am released by the giant talons of the Wonkette. Peace, people.

  • freakishlystrong

    Is Beaker a fucking terrist???

  • Larry Fine

    they scary

  • anabellum

    [re=29542]bitchincamaro[/re]: have a nice weekend…im off to drink a few bottles of corona myself…

  • KevoTron

    The boss man is letting us go early today (it’s only two o’clock on the West Coast.) Therefor I am going on to do the good American thing and pound some Budweiser. One last thing: ‘Merica… FUCK YEA!

  • MordecuS

    Five. Can’t. Get. Here. Fast Enough… Damn.

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=29525]graceless[/re]: Sara does more than just redeem herself. I’ve noticed a pattern. Sara’s the early bird who does all the wee-hour-AM posts while the boys sleep in and nurse their hangovers. And here it is, late in day before a long weekend, and Sara’s still posting. Jim’s AWOL/MIA, Ken’s only posted a couple of drive-bys and yet, Sara remains hard at work.

    I’ll bet they make her do the dishes after poker night, take out the garbage and sleep on the wet spot. If so, Sara deserves far better treatment than that. So, Sara, this is my special shout-out to you and you alone, you underappreciated, underpaid, overworked and righteously hot tamale.

    HAPPY FOURTH, BABE!!!

    [The rest of you can have a good weekend, too, if’n y’all want…]

  • WhatTheHeck

    I feel very patriotic when someone’s hand is up my cavity, manipulating my every word.

    But I’ve had two Stellas for lunch.
    That’s beers you morans.

  • pondscum

    [re=29542]bitchincamaro[/re]: I think I’ll be elists and have some good ol’ merican champagne.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    ANYONE CAUGHT DRINKING NON-DOMESTIC BEER WILL BE RAPED AND SHOT

  • WhatTheHeck

    [re=29562]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I prefer to be shot then raped.

  • InsidiousTuna

    God bless America.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=29565]WhatTheHeck[/re]: There ain’t no shootin’ without the rapin’. This is why the castration law should be passed.

  • pondscum

    [re=29562]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Geesh. You’re harsh. Sam Adams it is…

  • Neilist

    Which one of the two videos shown on the home page was (1) the one in which the “real power” has its hand up the ass of an empty, sock-headed puppet pretending to be a patriot; vs. (2) the one showing those delightful Muppets?

    Please clarify at your earliest.

  • InsidiousTuna

    [re=29570]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Sorry, I took a sick day, and have been drinking since 10 am. My bad.

  • weirdiowasculpture

    Ya’ know, the voice of the Eagle and the voice of Yoda? Same guy.

  • Christastic

    Is that Michael Chertoff?

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=29562]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hey, if WhatTheHeck wants to have a couple of Belgian brownpops on the Third of July, I think your threats to rape and kill are just a tad Republican, coming from a guy who quaffs the Mexi-cervesas on the Castro.

    It ain’t no capital crime!

    But if s/he does it tomorrow, I’ll help you. [Well, not the killing part; I’m only into maiming myself, but I’ll watch you do that part.]

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=29606]Canuckledragger[/re]: its good to know the Canadians are with us on this one.

  • columnv

    [re=29562]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’d rather be shot then raped.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    This video was attempt by Linus Torvalds to shed
    Linux’s elitist “European” image – Tux leads an
    all-American band populated by typical Linux
    developer types (hippie drummer, bulging eyeballed
    frizzle head, bear …).

    Don’t know why Steve Ballmer did the narration, though …

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=29475]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: [re=29503]DemmeFatale[/re]: Sam the Eagle is really Keith Olbermann.

    Sarah no can haz bad 4th! Cheers!

  • Lazy Media

    Sam the Eagle is obviously an al Qaeda mole, as the flag behind him is hanging the wrong way. The blue part is supposed to be upper left, whether it’s hanging horizontally or vertically.

    And none of you hippies mentioned it, either. J’Accuse!

  • Felonious Monk

    And the Swedish Chef is wearing clothing made from the flag.

    Waterboard ‘im!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    This video defines awesome. How do the Muppets remain so amazing in every way?

    Manamanah.

  • TGY

    Today, we’re all flag pins. Something like that.

  • TGY

    [re=29717]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: They are an American classic for sure, much like The Simpsons.

  • Borat

    This is horrible. How can the rest of you even watch this? This is no better than flag burnin. There are inanimate devil creatures passing judgement on on the american way of life. That is not in the bible, constityushion or declaration of indianapolis. There ought to be a law against this filth and everyone who finds it interesting.

    I just got back from a bunch of muzzie countries and let me tell you if this sort of thing were ever done against one of their leaders they’d chop yur nutz off and drag them around on the back of a truck. now, thats more american than the rest o you lot. those muzzie countries know how to control all ya all who step out o line.