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HOW DO WE BEAT THE BITCH?

John McCain’s Number One Priority: Beating Hillary Clinton

Super tuberOh dear, we do not know how these Facebooks work because we are older than John McCain (and time, apparently). Anyway it looks like you can make Groups on these Facebooks, and here is a group that challenges all Republicans to FACEBOOK FRIEND John McCain so that he will have more friends than Hillary Clinton. This is funny because Hillary Clinton died months ago. Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Ian” for the tip. [The John McCain Facebook Challenge]


9:59 AM on Thu July 3 2008
By Sara K. Smith
11496 Views

  1. choinski says at 10:01 am, July 3rd, 2008

    And since Hillary has no freinds, this should be easy.

  2. Well, at least John McCain is aware of teh intarwebs, though probably not of all the intarwebs traditions.

    He might be trying to mobilize all his base but it actually belongs to us.

  3. Godless Liberal * says at 10:04 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Facebook is the tool of the young hipster kids, who all want to see America destroyed by Obama’s socialist programs. McCain will never find enough true patriots there to complete his mission.

  4. columnv says at 10:07 am, July 3rd, 2008

    I think Hillz and WALNUTS! should make out.

  5. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 10:11 am, July 3rd, 2008

    His other goal is to rescue the Betancourt 3 sometime in his first term.

  6. JohnnyMac says at 10:14 am, July 3rd, 2008

    It is pretty sad that McCain is actually paying people to create an Internet presence for him and he still looks clueless. Either he’s not paying enough or his hiring pool is limited to AZ-area hospices and mentally challenged care centers. Cheney was smart enough to hire people to ‘lose’ all his GOP emails covering up a few years, so why does McCain hire the 60-year old guy that spends more time telling stories about punch cards than actually working?

  7. Walter Sobchak says at 10:14 am, July 3rd, 2008

    I’m going to become friends with WALNUTS! and send him invitations to every godforsaken motherfucking annoying-ass application I can find. I’m gonna send him Good Karma, and invite him to Dope Wars, and who the Christ knows what else.
    PS- someone invite him to join the Wonkette group, STAT.

  8. EnBuenOra says at 10:15 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Hey, at least it was updated from trying to beat Charlemagne’s friend total.

  9. ManchuCandidate says at 10:15 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Yes, we could all POWs, Pals of Walnuts.

  10. toastandlove says at 10:15 am, July 3rd, 2008

    So it’s finally come to this. “I have more Facebook friends than you” is a legitimate political strategy.

    I want Obama to challenge McCain to a Madden tournament.

  11. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 10:16 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Walter Sobchak: Good call!

  12. ManchuCandidate says at 10:18 am, July 3rd, 2008

    toastandlove:
    No, Dance Dance Revolution.

  13. ManchuCandidate says at 10:18 am, July 3rd, 2008

    ManchuCandidate:
    Dipshit, should read: We could all BE POWs.

  14. ohiolobbyist says at 10:26 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Just for comparison’s sake, Sushi(the food) currently has more friends/fans than John McCain.

  15. Nasara says at 10:27 am, July 3rd, 2008

    That’s Maverick-licious!

  16. loquaciousmusic says at 10:28 am, July 3rd, 2008

    /fixed:

    http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=8xn31z&s=3

    Now I have to figure out how not to be a supporter of John McCain on Facebook!

  17. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 10:29 am, July 3rd, 2008

    He’d have much better luck friending the folks at Country Above Self. Just sayin’.

  18. ForeignSickSpecialist says at 10:29 am, July 3rd, 2008

    I will not be a jock supporter of WAL’sNUTZ!, but I will offer comforting support of Michelle Obama’s breasts.

  19. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 10:29 am, July 3rd, 2008

    I don’t think riding around in a Facebook account getting shot down by snarky kids is a qualification to be president.

  20. SayItWithWookies says at 10:30 am, July 3rd, 2008

    After he beats Hillary, who’s next? I see him getting more friends than Mondale by August.

  21. teebob2000 says at 10:31 am, July 3rd, 2008

    He’s updated since I saw it last, when he wanted to beat Wendell Willkie.

  22. WadISay says at 10:31 am, July 3rd, 2008

    If McCain needs help, Ted Stevens still has a pretty good handle on this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f99PcP0aFNE

  23. Delicious says at 10:32 am, July 3rd, 2008

    It does say “first goal.” To beat Obama, he would need 1.1 million Facebook friends.

    But honestly, I don’t think he has that many supporters who are even aware of the Internet - nevermind its traditions.

  24. jagorev says at 10:33 am, July 3rd, 2008

    This is pretty pathetic, because Hillary has like 10% of the Facebook friends that Barry has.

  25. teebob2000 says at 10:33 am, July 3rd, 2008
  26. Humble Pi says at 10:35 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Godless Liberal *: To be fair, I don’t think the majority of his supporters get Facebook on their “email machines”. The rest of them are too vain to wear their bifocals and think the name of the site is Facegook and will have nothing to do with it.

  27. NoWireHangers says at 10:47 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Once they have more Facebook friends than Hillary they can get back to important things like winning the Spanish-American War.

  28. HomoPolitico says at 10:49 am, July 3rd, 2008

    When a candidate gets a profile on Manhunt.net, Adam4Adam.com and Dudesnude.com THAN I’ll start to think about voting for them.

  29. Canuckledragger says at 10:49 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Hey Juan: you want more “friends” than Hillaryous? Try blowing Ed Hale @ hcsfjm. It would be in keeping with the strong Republican “tradition” of extra-marital segks with other “men,” and would lock in the 35,000 bitters that Ed leads in his glorious quest to vindicate Hillaryous. You service him; he’ll service you.

    It’s a win-win. Only one further decision: spit or swallow?

  30. Truculent says at 11:11 am, July 3rd, 2008

    But I don’t WANT to be his friend! (runs away crying)

  31. warreno says at 11:12 am, July 3rd, 2008

    John McCain is aware of Hillary Clinton.

  32. nbawriter says at 11:15 am, July 3rd, 2008

    My Facebook challenge: Hit John McCain in the face with a book 100,000 times.

    Ready, go!

  33. nbawriter says at 11:26 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Bill Clinton has issued a SitOnMyFacebook challenge. Let’s see McCain top that one.

  34. Godless Liberal * says at 11:33 am, July 3rd, 2008

    Humble Pi: Looking back, I was silly to think that McCain was ever concerned with completing his mission. He’ll just find a way to crash Facebook like it was an airplane.

  35. tunamelt says at 12:04 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    He has more friends than Wonkette. There should be a Wonkette Facebook Challenge–more friends than John McCain!

    http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=18303785909

    Wonkette = 145
    John McCain = 6,515

  36. Humble Pi says at 12:16 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Godless Liberal *: Then he can say he at least tried, and we’ll give him a medal for it. I’ll check with the Special Olympics and see if they can spare one.

  37. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:32 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    STEPS TO BEATING HILLARY CLINTON

    Step 1: Find Hillary

    Step 2: Hit Hillary in the face repeatedly

    Step 3: ???????????

    Step 4: Profit!

  38. AngryBlakGuy says at 12:36 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    …Our First Goal: Defeating the Red Coats at Valley Forge.

  39. Carrie_Okie says at 1:18 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    To his credit, he did change it from “…more than Millard Fillmore…”

  40. columnv says at 1:22 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    teebob2000: point taken.

  41. tunamelt says at 1:32 pm, July 3rd, 2008
  42. tunamelt says at 1:33 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Just kidding, I meant eleven.

  43. BBtre says at 1:43 pm, July 3rd, 2008
  44. i is on ur blogz, redin ur wordz says at 1:55 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Couldn’t they have found a picture of WALNUTS! where he didn’t look like he was filling his diaper?

  45. tunamelt says at 1:56 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    BBtre: I would sympathize except for Vanity Fair is dreadful.

  46. teebob2000 says at 2:05 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Canuckledragger: Right now, Canada is ashamed of you.

  47. teebob2000 says at 2:29 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    Carrie_Okie: Pwned!

  48. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:42 pm, July 3rd, 2008
  49. NYNYNY says at 11:59 pm, July 3rd, 2008

    tunamelt: What about Mallard Fillmore?

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