ZOMG Barack Obama Goes To Daughter’s Soccer Game

  not sexy

You might not want to watch this if you want to keep believing Barack Obama is a “cool dood,” because he wears his shirt tucked in AND he keeps his phone in a dumb little belt-clip. He is basically that earnest dork in your sales department who buys Costco rice pudding by the case and saw Happy Feet on its opening weekend, with his wife, on a date. [AP via Slate]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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89 comments

  1. StupidGeek

    I like the part right at the end where Michelle smacks him around a little. In her elitist sweater.

  2. ronaldpagan

    His first date with his wife was Do The Right Thing, though.

    Of course he’s not hip; he’s running for president. But we’d all sleep with him anyway.

  3. Chiraq

    Oh. Sara. You made him love him again. Dammit. Now I have to wait until he picks Dick Cheney to hate him. No. I love him.

    Dammit!

  4. ManchuCandidate

    What kind of fucking preznit is this going to be if he’s so involved raising his kids? When those 3am calls come, what is he going to do? Wake up his kids? Better if he were a sniveling coke snorting dry drunk with daddy issues or some crazy balding weathervane who can’t get his shit together.

  5. V572625694

    He used to carry his cell phone in his pocket, but his enormous schlong kept banging against it and breaking it. I know because I had the same problem, only in reverse.

  6. ronaldpagan

    [re=28833]StupidGeek[/re]: That part made me die of jealousy.

    Where’s the part of the tape where Barack refuses to buy his daughter ice cream because she blew the game?

  7. anabellum

    what!.. hes not cool like most of the shorts, ball cap, running shoes, out sized t-shirt wearing rest of america????

    hell..hes not even over-weight…

  8. weirdiowasculpture

    Oh jeez, those are the same chairs the local seniors tote up to the park and sit around in a circle chatting while their dogs are running around crapping on everything. I can’t vote for him now. Tell me more about this Bob Barr fella . . .

  9. Inadequate Blackmail

    SAT Analogy Time:

    Bill Clinton is to “First Black President”
    as
    Barack Obama is to:

    A) First Woman President
    B) First Asian President
    C) First Mexican President
    D) For Christ sake untuck your shirt and light up a cigarette, already!

  10. problemwithcaring

    …ughhh don’t answer illiterate… that was supposed to be *scratched

  11. AngryBlakGuy

    …I havent played soccer in a few years but Im pretty sure its a bad idea set up your chairs BEHIND the goal!

  12. jfruh

    For most people the shirt tuck-in would be a pure dork move, admittedly, but in Barry’s case it only highlights his taut buttocks.

  13. Anita Cocktail

    [re=28855]jfruh[/re]: If tucking his shirt in is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

  14. Uncle Al

    Yeah the chairs bothered me too, but on the other hand, at least he’s not John McCain standing on the sideline yelling at all the players to “get offa my lawn!”

  15. AngryBlakGuy

    …WALNUTS! will try and counter this photo op with one of his own. He will attend a shuffle board tournament at a mortuary errrrrr oops I mean retirement home.

  16. greatgooglymoogly

    Well … blown opportunity. If he REALLY wanted to get the bitter white working class beer-swilling wife-beating vote, he’d have been drinking the whole time, smoking his cigs, screaming at the ref and his own kids, knocking shit over, and starting a fight with the opposing coach (or the dad of the girl who plays better than his daughter). Now that’s the REAL America, Oba!

  17. Hooray For Anything

    [re=28866]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah, if nothing says elitist, it’s soccer. I can just see the Fox News scrawl now: “Barack Obama- Soccer dad? Concerned Parent? Or socialist Euro Weenie.” He should have his kids play football– a nice ‘merican sport.

  18. Dave J.

    He’s totally that older guy in your office who listens to the college radio station on the way in to work and name drops the band names to gain favor with the younger workers. However, he will always take your side when any battles break out with upper management, so he’s a dork, but he’s YOUR dork.

  19. AngryBlakGuy

    …Id hate to be his kids coach once Barry is elected. If you bench his kid you may accidentally on purpose receive a full body cavity search next time you try to fly at airport. It’ll make a colonic look foreplay!

  20. Lazy Media

    [re=28860]Uncle Al[/re]: Young people are so retarded. Bag chairs rule. You keep them in the trunk of your car, so while the cool young people are getting their asses wet, scratched and bitten sitting on the ant-infested, rock-strewn earth, you’re totally comfy and have a beer holder.

  21. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=28882]ronaldpagan[/re]: …at his age, wouldn’t a funeral be considered a sporting event?

  22. llemma

    The funniest thing about this is everybody else trying ultra hard to look like they’re totally not staring at him. Or taking cameraphone pictures.

  23. floraway

    So cute… except…

    5…4…3…2…1… and Hannity uses that last part of the clip to smear Michelle somehow.

    Obama is whipped by his abusive wife!
    She is so bitter that she has to lash out at him!
    She was screaming whitey the whole time!

    Dowd will use this as another example of how he is a pansy.

  24. qwerty42

    geeze that is charming. so now the poor guy (and his family) will get to go through the ordeal of the election and (please, oh please, oh please) the next 8 years as the president and he’ll never get to do this again.

  25. WadISay

    [re=28888]floraway[/re]: Michelle was never proud of her kids or their team before this.

    This should sew up about 95% of the soccer mom vote. BTW, does our Barry walk with a limp? It kind of looks like it in that last sequence (I gather most of you were looking at his arse).

  26. pondscum

    [re=28899]WadISay[/re]: Yeah. I noticed that also. Is it the jive walk to counterballance the gay cell phone or did Michelle injure him?

  27. WhatTheHeck

    [re=28902]pondscum[/re]:
    After an hour sitting in those chairs, your cheeks and nuts get squeezed together, thereby giving you thatt walk.

    Been there, done that walk.

  28. wallythepug

    I disagree…have you ever seen Bush or Clinton in their casual clothes? Remember, if he leaves his shirt hang out he’ll look too “street” for the bitters. Or would you rather he wear his pants down around his ass with his boxers hanging out and a ball cap on sideways?

  29. slavojzizek

    More of both Obamas’ butts in that video than anyone has ever seen before. They are both in good shape. However, I would still take the girl in the American Apparel Slim Slack.

  30. WadISay

    McCain will have to respond with a video showing him dropping his daughter off at the Mall so she can go to the, like, Gap?

  31. Texan Bulldoggette

    Wonder how long it takes a Secret Service guy to body slam any of the little girls who foul the Obama princess(es)? Also wonder how many orifices got searched in order to attend that little sporting event?

  32. Mahousu

    The clip was ok, but it cut off the part at the end where his daughters win, and so Barack and Michelle fire off a few rounds from their AK-47s into the air in celebration. That would really capture the Terrorist Soccer Mom vote.

  33. kellygrrrl

    OK. I have to say: his daughters holding hands with each other melts my cold cynical heart

    those two liitle girls are sure going to need each other over the next few years

  34. Aurelio

    They have those uncomfortable little folding chairs that my GF makes me sit in at outdoor Satanic blood drinking festivals. I also have to drag them around when we visit the various child sacrifice sites. Then I have to help her pack them up in their little roll-up thingies after the Mass is said backwards. I hate those damn things.

  35. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=28944]Aurelio[/re]: SERIOUSLY!
    They make you wait SO VERY LONG before sacrificing the young. And then there’s always the slow cutting, speaking in tongues, and all the other ritualistic bullshit. It reminds of mass for gawdsakes.

  36. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    [re=28841]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You mean Barry isn’t “a sniveling coke snorting dry drunk with daddy issues”?

  37. nyhfrog

    Okay! I get the shirt thing. I totally leave mine untucked. But What the fuck is wrong with the phone on th ebelt thing? It has made my life so much easier. You know how many phones I broke or lost before the belt sheath thing?

  38. columnv

    He should really go back to Barry. If I met a guy like that at a kid’s soccer game and he said he was Barak, I’d be like, WTF!!!!!!

  39. Mahousu

    [re=28963]cal[/re]: Haven’t you been paying attention? When Barry’s around, the terrorists always win!

    In fact, it’s gotten to be a bit of an issue with the other kids. When the Obamas show up, they start grumbling to their parents, “Ah, Jeez, what’s the point of playing? Now that they’re here, you know the terrorists are going to win. Can’t we just go get pizza or something?”

  40. DemmeFatale

    Yeah, whenever my husband goes out of the house, my two girls demand that he un-tuck his shirt and take the damn phone off his belt. Barry just has a few years before his daughters are on fashion patrol. (I think Michelle has given up. Uh…as have I.)

    [re=28961]nyhfrog[/re]: I know they are practical, but they look INCREDIBLY geeky.

  41. Iggy Plop

    what the hell do you people have against camp chairs? they have a mesh pocket on one of the arms for a can of beer you know. i’d like to see one of your elitist adirondack chairs do that. and, yes, Barry’s an uberdork. next breaking news, Walnuts is an angry, addled old man.

  42. nhunter

    Everybody always wants to meet daddy. She ignores it now, it’ll be horrifyingly embarassing for her in two or three years, in ten years she’ll look back and think it was kind of cool.

  43. Q2

    [re=28833]StupidGeek[/re]: I always had a thing for women who do that sweater over their shoulders thing. HEY! Fuck you too…it’s better than diapers. But like I said, that sweater thing gets me hot and Ms. M and that sweater…whoboy! Yes m’aam!

  44. Democratica

    [re=28879]Lazy Media[/re]: (and Iggy Plop!) … Word. Those chairs are the best ever! Especially with the drink holders (they don’t all have those, you know). The video makes me sad though – innocence lost and whatnot… this video looks like it was taken by some lunatic hiding in the bushes…

  45. nyhfrog

    [re=28976]DemmeFatale[/re]: Oh well. I guess it’s back to carrying it in my fanny pack…What?…oh crap.

  46. V2peaceAllOver

    he makes the whitey soccer dadz look short, slovenly dressed and tubby (in a second trimester styleeee).

    note at 28 seconds, mr. peach/bisque shirt stalking with the pod cam; mr. peach shirt just broke through his latency-me thinks.

    note at 47 seconds–b-rock does some interesting scratching.

  47. HottMcClellan

    When Michelle is making Barry her bitch at the end of the clip, the gasp at the end from who ever was holding the camera is priceless.

  48. V2peaceAllOver

    with the postings of gurukalehuru, hottmcclellan and quacker aside—

    which crew would you rather be hanging with?

    note to editors—b-rock soccer vs. bmw football poll tomorrow to open in the 3 day drunken st00per weekend.

  49. shortsshortsshorts

    Hmmm…. looks a little black to be the next President’s daughter…

    [re=29011]V2peaceAllOver[/re]: Needs more black.

    OKAY enough bigotry today.

  50. Lascauxcaveman

    Yep, [re=28990]Democratica[/re]: this video makes me sad, too. A year ago, Barry was only famous-for-Chicago and now he’s a freaking phenomenon, The First Ever Black Major Party Nominee For President. And now he’s not even black, he’s half white, and the safest, most sincere, earnest do-goody semi-liberal clean cut guy you ever met. The shirt is tucked in because he’s in really good shape and doesn’t eat/drink a lot of crap that’s bad for him, and gets some excercise. He’s got a waistline that he doesn’t have to hide under a voluminous untucked shirt-tent, unlike you untucked-shirt average ‘muricans.

    A year ago, he was going to these soccer games and maybe somebody would come up and shake the senator’s hand and say howdy ’cause he’s a senator, but now they’re buzzing around like flies with cameras hoping not to get swatted by the Secret Service.

    A year ago, he was able to get into the game, he could actually watch it. My kids play soccer, and I watch every second of every game intently. Soaking it up like it’s the last time it’s ever going to happen. Because it might be.

  51. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=29052]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Barry has been known for a while longer then THAT, and he’s been terrorizing ‘merica for much longer than THAT THAT.

  52. TGY

    Just when you think you have Obama figured out (as a fist-bumping, crack-smoking, gutter-bowling, double-talking muskrat terrorist or whatever), he goes and shows his humanity. Damn him!!

  53. TGY

    Shit, he really is cute. This is the man whom the crowd applauded when he blew his nose during a speech. BLEW HIS NOSE, for the love of Geebus. He oozes humanity, though oozes isn’t a good word. ‘Radiates’ is better.

  54. giuseppe

    I’m elite! I’m elite!

    I have the same Sports Authority fold up chair! (I bought it at an army surplus store and I used to hate the big ad on the back, but that hate ends now!)

  55. ladymacbeth

    [re=29051]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: yes, but it’s good to know practically everybody else in that video has a chicago style gut.

    i was at (chicago) pride last weekend and took a picture of the cops swooping down on the homophobe shitheads. the funny part is that EVERYONE in the picture — parade participants, cops and homophobe shitheads has a huge gut.

    if i knew how to post that picture i would but i’m v v technically challenged.

  56. Cranky Little Camperette

    Okay, about that cell phone holder…Barry gets a bye on that one.

    99.99999…% of the time, it’s the international sign for “Yes, I really do think I’m so very important that I need to have my phone ready at all times to take That Very Important Call” when in actuality, they probably don’t get reception past the jukebox in the Cap Lounge.

    Dude’s a U.S. Senator and The Presumptive Dem Nominee (TM). In that very tiny circle on the Venn Diagram of Importance in Life, I’d say he’s got a space so, yeah, holster is okay.

    Anyone else in that park who’s got one….not so much.

  57. timosai

    Talk about elitist! The president has gone and got himself caught up in a game full of controversy!
    Research done by the Guardian on all of United’s league matches at Old Trafford since the start of the 2006-07 season has turned up some startling stats.
    According to them ….” on average, there has been over a minute extra added by referees when United do not have the lead after 90 minutes, compared to when they are in front. In 48 games when United were ahead, the average amount of stoppage time was 191.35 seconds. In 12 matches when United were drawing or losing there was an average of 257.17sec.”

    You can watch the absurdity here:
    http://eplreplays.com/2009/09/20/man-utd-vs-man-city/
    Maybe the extra time was added on because of all the goal celebrations, but i didn’t think they were longer than the usual?

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