NOT SEXY  4:49 pm July 2, 2008

ZOMG Barack Obama Goes To Daughter’s Soccer Game

by Sara K. Smith

You might not want to watch this if you want to keep believing Barack Obama is a “cool dood,” because he wears his shirt tucked in AND he keeps his phone in a dumb little belt-clip. He is basically that earnest dork in your sales department who buys Costco rice pudding by the case and saw Happy Feet on its opening weekend, with his wife, on a date. [AP via Slate]


Hola wonkerados.

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El Bombastico July 2, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Cha-ching, Sports Authority! Now THAT’s product placement!

jagorev July 2, 2008 at 4:52 pm

And they’re sitting on those fugly camping chairs for middle aged people. Gah.

StupidGeek July 2, 2008 at 4:55 pm

I like the part right at the end where Michelle smacks him around a little. In her elitist sweater.

ronaldpagan July 2, 2008 at 4:55 pm

His first date with his wife was Do The Right Thing, though.

Of course he’s not hip; he’s running for president. But we’d all sleep with him anyway.

Chiraq July 2, 2008 at 4:55 pm

Oh. Sara. You made him love him again. Dammit. Now I have to wait until he picks Dick Cheney to hate him. No. I love him.


Dreadful Gate July 2, 2008 at 4:57 pm

OMFG, he’s gonna be our first white president!

NoWireHangers July 2, 2008 at 4:58 pm

He is SO CUTE! He loves his wife! I’m kvelling!

ManchuCandidate July 2, 2008 at 4:59 pm

What kind of fucking preznit is this going to be if he’s so involved raising his kids? When those 3am calls come, what is he going to do? Wake up his kids? Better if he were a sniveling coke snorting dry drunk with daddy issues or some crazy balding weathervane who can’t get his shit together.

V572625694 July 2, 2008 at 5:02 pm

He used to carry his cell phone in his pocket, but his enormous schlong kept banging against it and breaking it. I know because I had the same problem, only in reverse.

problemwithcaring July 2, 2008 at 5:03 pm

I liked when he scarted himself. What does that make me?

myklwain July 2, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Spank me too Michelle.

ronaldpagan July 2, 2008 at 5:05 pm

[re=28833]StupidGeek[/re]: That part made me die of jealousy.

Where’s the part of the tape where Barack refuses to buy his daughter ice cream because she blew the game?

confusionanddelay< July 2, 2008 at 5:05 pm

That’s still the best presidential ass ever.

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 5:05 pm

what!.. hes not cool like most of the shorts, ball cap, running shoes, out sized t-shirt wearing rest of america????

hell..hes not even over-weight…

weirdiowasculpture July 2, 2008 at 5:06 pm

Oh jeez, those are the same chairs the local seniors tote up to the park and sit around in a circle chatting while their dogs are running around crapping on everything. I can’t vote for him now. Tell me more about this Bob Barr fella . . .

Inadequate Blackmail July 2, 2008 at 5:07 pm

SAT Analogy Time:

Bill Clinton is to “First Black President”
Barack Obama is to:

A) First Woman President
B) First Asian President
C) First Mexican President
D) For Christ sake untuck your shirt and light up a cigarette, already!

problemwithcaring July 2, 2008 at 5:07 pm

…ughhh don’t answer illiterate… that was supposed to be *scratched

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:07 pm

…I havent played soccer in a few years but Im pretty sure its a bad idea set up your chairs BEHIND the goal!

jfruh July 2, 2008 at 5:08 pm

For most people the shirt tuck-in would be a pure dork move, admittedly, but in Barry’s case it only highlights his taut buttocks.

myklwain July 2, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Fucking chairs are fucking gay.

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:11 pm

…black on black violence toward the end!

Anita Cocktail July 2, 2008 at 5:11 pm

[re=28855]jfruh[/re]: If tucking his shirt in is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

Uncle Al July 2, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Yeah the chairs bothered me too, but on the other hand, at least he’s not John McCain standing on the sideline yelling at all the players to “get offa my lawn!”

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:17 pm

…WALNUTS! will try and counter this photo op with one of his own. He will attend a shuffle board tournament at a mortuary errrrrr oops I mean retirement home.

scott_dog July 2, 2008 at 5:18 pm
shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Barack Obama encourages his children to play un-American sports.

greatgooglymoogly July 2, 2008 at 5:24 pm

Well … blown opportunity. If he REALLY wanted to get the bitter white working class beer-swilling wife-beating vote, he’d have been drinking the whole time, smoking his cigs, screaming at the ref and his own kids, knocking shit over, and starting a fight with the opposing coach (or the dad of the girl who plays better than his daughter). Now that’s the REAL America, Oba!

Hooray For Anything July 2, 2008 at 5:27 pm

[re=28866]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah, if nothing says elitist, it’s soccer. I can just see the Fox News scrawl now: “Barack Obama- Soccer dad? Concerned Parent? Or socialist Euro Weenie.” He should have his kids play football– a nice ‘merican sport.

InsidiousTuna July 2, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Aw, they’re adorable.

Dave J. July 2, 2008 at 5:30 pm

He’s totally that older guy in your office who listens to the college radio station on the way in to work and name drops the band names to gain favor with the younger workers. However, he will always take your side when any battles break out with upper management, so he’s a dork, but he’s YOUR dork.

bitchincamaro July 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm

The other team was comprised of the steroid securtity detail. I call foul!

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm

…Id hate to be his kids coach once Barry is elected. If you bench his kid you may accidentally on purpose receive a full body cavity search next time you try to fly at airport. It’ll make a colonic look foreplay!

Lazy Media July 2, 2008 at 5:33 pm

[re=28860]Uncle Al[/re]: Young people are so retarded. Bag chairs rule. You keep them in the trunk of your car, so while the cool young people are getting their asses wet, scratched and bitten sitting on the ant-infested, rock-strewn earth, you’re totally comfy and have a beer holder.

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 5:34 pm

i get one of those chairs everytime i up my limit on a credit card…

JeffGoldblum July 2, 2008 at 5:34 pm


ronaldpagan July 2, 2008 at 5:35 pm

[re=28861]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: He could go cheer on Meghan at the strip club.

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 5:39 pm

[re=28882]ronaldpagan[/re]: …at his age, wouldn’t a funeral be considered a sporting event?

llemma July 2, 2008 at 5:45 pm

The funniest thing about this is everybody else trying ultra hard to look like they’re totally not staring at him. Or taking cameraphone pictures.

floraway July 2, 2008 at 5:47 pm

So cute… except…

5…4…3…2…1… and Hannity uses that last part of the clip to smear Michelle somehow.

Obama is whipped by his abusive wife!
She is so bitter that she has to lash out at him!
She was screaming whitey the whole time!

Dowd will use this as another example of how he is a pansy.

sezme July 2, 2008 at 5:51 pm

More sexy slapping pleez!

qwerty42 July 2, 2008 at 5:51 pm

geeze that is charming. so now the poor guy (and his family) will get to go through the ordeal of the election and (please, oh please, oh please) the next 8 years as the president and he’ll never get to do this again.

WadISay July 2, 2008 at 5:58 pm

[re=28888]floraway[/re]: Michelle was never proud of her kids or their team before this.

This should sew up about 95% of the soccer mom vote. BTW, does our Barry walk with a limp? It kind of looks like it in that last sequence (I gather most of you were looking at his arse).

pondscum July 2, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=28899]WadISay[/re]: Yeah. I noticed that also. Is it the jive walk to counterballance the gay cell phone or did Michelle injure him?

Quacker July 2, 2008 at 6:19 pm


I just thought I wasn’t “hep” enough….

WhatTheHeck July 2, 2008 at 6:19 pm

After an hour sitting in those chairs, your cheeks and nuts get squeezed together, thereby giving you thatt walk.

Been there, done that walk.

wallythepug July 2, 2008 at 6:21 pm

I disagree…have you ever seen Bush or Clinton in their casual clothes? Remember, if he leaves his shirt hang out he’ll look too “street” for the bitters. Or would you rather he wear his pants down around his ass with his boxers hanging out and a ball cap on sideways?

AdRock July 2, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Watch at like :49, he’s going to town scratchin’ his nizzuts!!!

pondscum July 2, 2008 at 6:24 pm

[re=28915]WhatTheHeck[/re]: No balls. Didn’t know about that…

Combover July 2, 2008 at 6:25 pm

[re=28833]StupidGeek[/re]: She was only defending herself. He struck her first.

slavojzizek July 2, 2008 at 6:28 pm

More of both Obamas’ butts in that video than anyone has ever seen before. They are both in good shape. However, I would still take the girl in the American Apparel Slim Slack.

WadISay July 2, 2008 at 6:30 pm

McCain will have to respond with a video showing him dropping his daughter off at the Mall so she can go to the, like, Gap?

Texan Bulldoggette July 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm

Wonder how long it takes a Secret Service guy to body slam any of the little girls who foul the Obama princess(es)? Also wonder how many orifices got searched in order to attend that little sporting event?

Mahousu July 2, 2008 at 6:43 pm

The clip was ok, but it cut off the part at the end where his daughters win, and so Barack and Michelle fire off a few rounds from their AK-47s into the air in celebration. That would really capture the Terrorist Soccer Mom vote.

kellygrrrl July 2, 2008 at 6:50 pm

OK. I have to say: his daughters holding hands with each other melts my cold cynical heart

those two liitle girls are sure going to need each other over the next few years

Aurelio July 2, 2008 at 6:58 pm

They have those uncomfortable little folding chairs that my GF makes me sit in at outdoor Satanic blood drinking festivals. I also have to drag them around when we visit the various child sacrifice sites. Then I have to help her pack them up in their little roll-up thingies after the Mass is said backwards. I hate those damn things.

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 7:07 pm

[re=28944]Aurelio[/re]: SERIOUSLY!
They make you wait SO VERY LONG before sacrificing the young. And then there’s always the slow cutting, speaking in tongues, and all the other ritualistic bullshit. It reminds of mass for gawdsakes.

jagorev July 2, 2008 at 7:24 pm

[re=28944]Aurelio[/re]: You’re dating Hillary Clinton?!?!

Canmon (the Inadequate) July 2, 2008 at 7:29 pm

[re=28841]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You mean Barry isn’t “a sniveling coke snorting dry drunk with daddy issues”?

nyhfrog July 2, 2008 at 7:32 pm

Okay! I get the shirt thing. I totally leave mine untucked. But What the fuck is wrong with the phone on th ebelt thing? It has made my life so much easier. You know how many phones I broke or lost before the belt sheath thing?

columnv July 2, 2008 at 7:40 pm

He should really go back to Barry. If I met a guy like that at a kid’s soccer game and he said he was Barak, I’d be like, WTF!!!!!!

cal July 2, 2008 at 7:42 pm

But… who won?

Was it the TERRORISTS?!?

Mahousu July 2, 2008 at 8:10 pm

[re=28963]cal[/re]: Haven’t you been paying attention? When Barry’s around, the terrorists always win!

In fact, it’s gotten to be a bit of an issue with the other kids. When the Obamas show up, they start grumbling to their parents, “Ah, Jeez, what’s the point of playing? Now that they’re here, you know the terrorists are going to win. Can’t we just go get pizza or something?”

DemmeFatale July 2, 2008 at 8:29 pm

Yeah, whenever my husband goes out of the house, my two girls demand that he un-tuck his shirt and take the damn phone off his belt. Barry just has a few years before his daughters are on fashion patrol. (I think Michelle has given up. Uh…as have I.)

[re=28961]nyhfrog[/re]: I know they are practical, but they look INCREDIBLY geeky.

AxmxZ July 2, 2008 at 9:05 pm

[re=28960]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Well, he’s not dry for one thing.

ladymacbeth July 2, 2008 at 9:51 pm

wait!! you can buy rice pudding By The Case!?!?!?

Iggy Plop July 2, 2008 at 10:08 pm

what the hell do you people have against camp chairs? they have a mesh pocket on one of the arms for a can of beer you know. i’d like to see one of your elitist adirondack chairs do that. and, yes, Barry’s an uberdork. next breaking news, Walnuts is an angry, addled old man.

nhunter July 2, 2008 at 10:08 pm

Everybody always wants to meet daddy. She ignores it now, it’ll be horrifyingly embarassing for her in two or three years, in ten years she’ll look back and think it was kind of cool.

Q2 July 2, 2008 at 10:22 pm

[re=28833]StupidGeek[/re]: I always had a thing for women who do that sweater over their shoulders thing. HEY! Fuck you too…it’s better than diapers. But like I said, that sweater thing gets me hot and Ms. M and that sweater…whoboy! Yes m’aam!

Democratica July 2, 2008 at 10:36 pm

[re=28879]Lazy Media[/re]: (and Iggy Plop!) … Word. Those chairs are the best ever! Especially with the drink holders (they don’t all have those, you know). The video makes me sad though – innocence lost and whatnot… this video looks like it was taken by some lunatic hiding in the bushes…

nyhfrog July 2, 2008 at 10:44 pm

[re=28976]DemmeFatale[/re]: Oh well. I guess it’s back to carrying it in my fanny pack…What?…oh crap.

V2peaceAllOver July 3, 2008 at 12:10 am

he makes the whitey soccer dadz look short, slovenly dressed and tubby (in a second trimester styleeee).

note at 28 seconds, mr. peach/bisque shirt stalking with the pod cam; mr. peach shirt just broke through his latency-me thinks.

note at 47 seconds–b-rock does some interesting scratching.

V2peaceAllOver July 3, 2008 at 12:22 am

..and this too—-when he returned back to the crib with the crew he did this-

-and after the crew left the crib, he did this –

gurukalehuru July 3, 2008 at 12:25 am

Glad I saw it before it got blocked. What’s up with that?

HottMcClellan July 3, 2008 at 12:25 am

When Michelle is making Barry her bitch at the end of the clip, the gasp at the end from who ever was holding the camera is priceless.

Quacker July 3, 2008 at 12:27 am

[re=28961]nyhfrog[/re]: Word.

V2peaceAllOver July 3, 2008 at 12:33 am

with the postings of gurukalehuru, hottmcclellan and quacker aside—

which crew would you rather be hanging with?

note to editors—b-rock soccer vs. bmw football poll tomorrow to open in the 3 day drunken st00per weekend.

wonk_the_heck July 3, 2008 at 12:33 am

That is one angry black woman.

shortsshortsshorts July 3, 2008 at 12:39 am

Hmmm…. looks a little black to be the next President’s daughter…

[re=29011]V2peaceAllOver[/re]: Needs more black.

OKAY enough bigotry today.

Lascauxcaveman July 3, 2008 at 2:34 am

Yep, [re=28990]Democratica[/re]: this video makes me sad, too. A year ago, Barry was only famous-for-Chicago and now he’s a freaking phenomenon, The First Ever Black Major Party Nominee For President. And now he’s not even black, he’s half white, and the safest, most sincere, earnest do-goody semi-liberal clean cut guy you ever met. The shirt is tucked in because he’s in really good shape and doesn’t eat/drink a lot of crap that’s bad for him, and gets some excercise. He’s got a waistline that he doesn’t have to hide under a voluminous untucked shirt-tent, unlike you untucked-shirt average ‘muricans.

A year ago, he was going to these soccer games and maybe somebody would come up and shake the senator’s hand and say howdy ’cause he’s a senator, but now they’re buzzing around like flies with cameras hoping not to get swatted by the Secret Service.

A year ago, he was able to get into the game, he could actually watch it. My kids play soccer, and I watch every second of every game intently. Soaking it up like it’s the last time it’s ever going to happen. Because it might be.

Lascauxcaveman July 3, 2008 at 2:36 am

Ugh, but the phone holster? Unforgivable!

D O R K T A S T I C !

shortsshortsshorts July 3, 2008 at 3:03 am

[re=29052]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Barry has been known for a while longer then THAT, and he’s been terrorizing ‘merica for much longer than THAT THAT.

TGY July 3, 2008 at 7:02 am

Just when you think you have Obama figured out (as a fist-bumping, crack-smoking, gutter-bowling, double-talking muskrat terrorist or whatever), he goes and shows his humanity. Damn him!!

TGY July 3, 2008 at 10:29 am

Shit, he really is cute. This is the man whom the crowd applauded when he blew his nose during a speech. BLEW HIS NOSE, for the love of Geebus. He oozes humanity, though oozes isn’t a good word. ‘Radiates’ is better.

giuseppe July 3, 2008 at 10:44 am

I’m elite! I’m elite!

I have the same Sports Authority fold up chair! (I bought it at an army surplus store and I used to hate the big ad on the back, but that hate ends now!)

ladymacbeth July 3, 2008 at 10:59 am

[re=29051]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: yes, but it’s good to know practically everybody else in that video has a chicago style gut.

i was at (chicago) pride last weekend and took a picture of the cops swooping down on the homophobe shitheads. the funny part is that EVERYONE in the picture — parade participants, cops and homophobe shitheads has a huge gut.

if i knew how to post that picture i would but i’m v v technically challenged.

Cranky Little Camperette July 3, 2008 at 11:14 am

Okay, about that cell phone holder…Barry gets a bye on that one.

99.99999…% of the time, it’s the international sign for “Yes, I really do think I’m so very important that I need to have my phone ready at all times to take That Very Important Call” when in actuality, they probably don’t get reception past the jukebox in the Cap Lounge.

Dude’s a U.S. Senator and The Presumptive Dem Nominee (TM). In that very tiny circle on the Venn Diagram of Importance in Life, I’d say he’s got a space so, yeah, holster is okay.

Anyone else in that park who’s got one….not so much.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler July 3, 2008 at 1:46 pm


timosai September 23, 2009 at 5:57 am

Talk about elitist! The president has gone and got himself caught up in a game full of controversy!
Research done by the Guardian on all of United’s league matches at Old Trafford since the start of the 2006-07 season has turned up some startling stats.
According to them ….” on average, there has been over a minute extra added by referees when United do not have the lead after 90 minutes, compared to when they are in front. In 48 games when United were ahead, the average amount of stoppage time was 191.35 seconds. In 12 matches when United were drawing or losing there was an average of 257.17sec.”

You can watch the absurdity here:
Maybe the extra time was added on because of all the goal celebrations, but i didn’t think they were longer than the usual?

Fashion Games October 7, 2009 at 10:01 pm

check out this Obama dress up game. :)) it’s very funny. Barack Obama wants to be a superman !

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