REPUBLICAN FAMILY VALUES  2:55 pm July 2, 2008

Mississippi Wingnut Congressman Retiring To Spend More Time With His Family, Get Divorce From Wife

by Ken Layne

doucheCharles “Chip” Pickering is the only Mississippi Republican left in the House. He is the ultra-conservative son of famous racist/civil rights champion and retired federal judge Charles Pickering. Chip announced in August that he was quitting Congress so he could, of course, spend more time with his family, and get a lucrative lobbying job. The lobbying job will surely come, but on Friday it was announced that Chip is divorcing his wife so he can spend more time with all the various women he’s been connected with over the years. What, a Republican in Congress who commits adultery with the opposite sex?

They’re old fashioned in Mississippi, that’s what! They believe in the old fashioned way of life, such as women are for making babies and the Negro is for slave labor on your plantation or maybe for lynching.

Wonkette Operative “Another One Bites The Dust in Mississippi” sends this report:

So, Rep. Charles Pickering (R) MS says last year that he is not going to run again for Congress – to spend time with his family. Then he up and files for divorce this week – thus destroying his family. Come to hear rumors that he has been having a long term relationship with a woman tied directly to a major Telecom company in addition to rumors of improper relationships with female lobbyist. What part of Faith, Family and Freedom has this guy forgotten? Clearly it is his Freedom that he is worried about.. but what else is going on with him…he is dancing on the edge of what would appear to be conflict of interests – at a minimum he is guilty of being a self centered stupid jerk… Oh, but then again he has been a Congressman for the past 12 years… so, why are we surprised? And of course Washington will get him back after he gets a high paid Lobby job at the end of his term.

Chip Pickering files for divorce [Hattiesburg American]

 
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{ 67 comments }

Gopherit v2.0 July 2, 2008 at 3:00 pm

With all this flotsam of ordinary adultery floating around on the surface of the republican pool, I’m wondering when someone’s going to scoop up a really nasty bit trawling deep with a net…..it’s been months since there was a Craig or Vitter type story. Where’s the good stuff?

TGY July 2, 2008 at 3:00 pm

So, he retired to start Pickering Chips? Why can’t I retire to do something like that? Life just ain’t fair.

Neilist July 2, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Government?

They have government in Mississippi?

Like with votes and elections and ballots and everything?

Are you SURE?

GlennBecksTaint July 2, 2008 at 3:03 pm

It is IMPERATIVE that during these dark times for Conservatives, each of us spreads our seed as often as possible to ensure that the master race does not die

FMA July 2, 2008 at 3:03 pm

You were mistaken. He said he wasn’t going to run to spend more time with his lawyers and to bang lobbyists.
This guy should be a big believer in Jeebus, because, judging from that photo, it’s a fucking miracle that he can get laid. Jeebus, he’d have a hard time getting airport men’s room head from Larry Craig.

AngryBlakGuy July 2, 2008 at 3:04 pm

…damn TELCOMS lobbyist are throwing in women?! Shit, no wonder the FISA bill passed!!!

freakishlystrong July 2, 2008 at 3:06 pm

What self respecting grown man calls himself “Chip” for Christ’s sakes?

NoWireHangers July 2, 2008 at 3:07 pm

He has the kind of face you’re just itching to punch.

Advocatus_Diaboli July 2, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Is this guy old enough to be class president, let alone a member of Congress?

ronaldpagan July 2, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Maybe the retirement and divorce both occurred so he could spend more time boning family members. Incest isn’t just for West Virginians anymore.

gjdodger July 2, 2008 at 3:10 pm

He’s getting ready for his 2012 run as Quayle’s veep. Potatoe and Chip.

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 3:10 pm

“Pickering, who served as a Southern Baptist missionary to Hungary from 1986 to 1987, married the former Leisha Jane Prather of Memphis in 1988. Leisha Pickering was the daughter of a prominent Memphis thoracic surgeon.”

this sentence says it all…sometimes the only options are fuck around, or put a bullet in your head…

loquaciousmusic July 2, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Good. Jizzly was getting boring, nothing happened in Poon, and Fagust isn’t looking good, either. I pine for Cocktober and Blowvember!

ManchuCandidate July 2, 2008 at 3:12 pm

I guess Chip went all Hollywood thanks to his appearance in Borat.

gjdodger July 2, 2008 at 3:13 pm

By the way,
this
is absolutely fucking hysterical.

kudzu July 2, 2008 at 3:15 pm

[re=28718]GlennBecksTaint[/re]: The master race is doomed, actually. Conservatives don’t fuck women (I think the Bible tells them not to or something) but they do like young boys and those can’t get pregnant.

confusionanddelay< July 2, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Shocking. He looks like such a nice guy.[re=28725]freakishlystrong[/re]: Swarms of southern douchebags, that’s who.

greatgooglymoogly July 2, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Ass face still gets a pension, though. http://www.scribd.com/doc/190601/Retirement-Benefits-for-Members-of-the-US-Congress

$36k per year isn’t much, but it’ll buy a lot of sorghum and slave girl sex in Miss-a-SIP-ee.

confusionanddelay< July 2, 2008 at 3:17 pm

[re=28733]anabellum[/re]: Ha! A baptist missionary. His God, who I understand is Awsome, must be pissed.

Vanity Smurf July 2, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Republicans do fuck around with women as long as those women have strap ons.

Joey Ratz July 2, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Once it became clear he wasn’t fucking underage boys, there was no way he could remain a Congressional Republican. Poor Chip – ousted from the hill because of the strength of his convictions.

Also, is it really necessary to describe Southern Republicans as ‘wingnuts’? Doesn’t that really just go without saying?

Joey Ratz July 2, 2008 at 3:23 pm

[re=28737]gjdodger[/re]: W00t! “The Enterprise-Journal of McComb, Mississippi: The only newspaper in the world interested in this community.”

This is just beyond irony. Great find.

Accordion-o-rama July 2, 2008 at 3:25 pm

His only mistake was to not specify which family (his current or
his next) he was going to spend more time with.

weirdiowasculpture July 2, 2008 at 3:25 pm

[re=28726]NoWireHangers[/re]: That was exactly my reaction. In fact, I’ve never seen a picture of a human I’ve wanted to punch more than this one. It just seems to scream “I’m a smirking rich prick and my daddy got me this job.” Are we sure this isn’t an early pic of W or something?

weirdiowasculpture July 2, 2008 at 3:27 pm

[re=28746]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Well, or let them wear diapers. Don’t forget the diapers.

anabellum July 2, 2008 at 3:28 pm

[re=28744]confusionanddelay<[/re]: a middle aged ‘my god, the apocalypse is coming’ crisis?…

problemwithcaring July 2, 2008 at 3:39 pm

[re=28716]Neilist[/re]: Ahem. We’ve have a gub’ment in Mississippi — I believe it’s known by you Yankees as Tyson Chicken.

Snookums July 2, 2008 at 3:46 pm

He looks like the type of guy that should be selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door.

Dave J. July 2, 2008 at 3:48 pm

God, just look at that tool. If I had to draw an image for the phrase “douchesack Republican congressman from Mississippi,” I’d probably wind up drawing something that looked just like Chip.

1974 (again) July 2, 2008 at 3:48 pm

a woman tied directly to a major Telecom

Wow, that’s some kinky shit. Way were kinky than a bondage cross. And oh so Republican. What does a Republican worship more than Jesus? Corporations! So I can see how he’d be into that.

S.Luggo July 2, 2008 at 3:50 pm

[re=28737]gjdodger[/re]: Chip and his soon-to-be-former little woman, Leisha: http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/06mtbCIa8Q4KX/340x.jpg “Please, honey, say it’s not so.”

WhatTheHeck July 2, 2008 at 3:53 pm

If a Telecom lobbyist was involved, do you think he got his cable for free?
(I know the sex was).

gjdodger July 2, 2008 at 3:57 pm

[re=28784]S.Luggo[/re]: He looks better all blurry like that.

shortsshortsshorts July 2, 2008 at 3:58 pm

No longer “Mrs. Sippi.”

Missippi.

bitchincamaro July 2, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=28737]gjdodger[/re]: “Good for him for deciding to take a break, and good for his family.” …and by “break”, we mean, “tearing off a piece of strange”; by good, we mean, “You gave the bitch 5 babies, now it’s your time.”

queeraselvis v 2.0 July 2, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Please. Pickering married Leisha and then moved her ass to Flora, where the only thing to do is visit the Petrified Forest (not kidding). If I were her, I’d sue for wrongful imprisonment.

Anita Cocktail July 2, 2008 at 4:10 pm

He meant he was going to spend time with his NEW family. Sheesh, give the poor philanderer with the snap-on hair a break.

Dave J. July 2, 2008 at 4:14 pm

And really, his name is “Chip”? I’m beginning to think he’s just a Tom Tomorrow cartoon brought to life, not actually a human being person.

S.Luggo July 2, 2008 at 4:18 pm

[re=28794]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yay, Daddy!: http://www.chippickering.com/Middle.jpg

guerilla-nation July 2, 2008 at 4:19 pm

are we sure he committed adultery with a woman? or was it a boy with really nice skin?

Q2 July 2, 2008 at 4:29 pm

Congressman = Dipshit…I mean Chipshit…I mean Spermslurp. I am checking all of the above. Next question please.

WadISay July 2, 2008 at 4:37 pm

Gay marriage claims another victim. While God is still in an ugly humor about it, maybe he could make it rain toads on Mississippi, too.

Q2 July 2, 2008 at 4:45 pm

[re=28825]WadISay[/re]: God IS REALLY PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS. So is Thomas Jefferson and Ben Franklin, ’cause they all said “all men are created equal.” Except homos, except niggrahs, except cunts, except towel heads just doesn’t cut it…and there’s gonna be Hell To Pay come Judgement Day. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

V572625694 July 2, 2008 at 4:56 pm

[re=28744]confusionanddelay<[/re]: Really…a Southern Baptist missionary in Hungary? I wonder how many converts he racked up. Doesn’t it seem that a person shouldn’t be able to use this on the ol’ resume unless he actually persuaded a certain number of papist heathens to accept Jeebus as their Personal SaviorĀ®?

Kingbee July 2, 2008 at 4:58 pm

[re=28737]gjdodger[/re]: Omigod! No shit this is hysterically funny! What an honorable family man!! The McComb, MS Enterprise-Journal must feel pretty proud of their judgment regarding the Chipper!

S.Luggo July 2, 2008 at 4:59 pm

Mississippi, nay, all of ‘Merica, needs more like the Chipster:
—- During an August 2002 $1,500-a-plate fundraising luncheon in Jackson, President Bush said of Chip Pickering, “He’s a star today; he’s going to be a bigger star tomorrow because he’s a man of principle … and he stands strong on those principles. He believes in faith and family and Mississippi, in that order.”
In January [2008], the Family Research Council Action and Focus on the Family Action recognized Pickering as a “True Blue” Member of Congress for his unwavering commitment to pro-family policies. The award honors members of Congress who have exhibited extraordinary leadership and commitment to the defense of family, faith and freedom. —-
http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080702/NEWS/807020352/1001/news
Manson family values?

Kingbee July 2, 2008 at 5:00 pm

[re=28726]NoWireHangers[/re]: I’m too old to be punching, and risk breaking a hand bone. I want to bludgeon him, instead.

snig July 2, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Imagine my shock, Chip was one of the signers of a letter asking Clinton to resign for his part in the Lewinsky scandal.

http://www.libertylobby.org/articles/1998/199809.html

Gosh but irony is often ironical at times.

He had “outrage and sorrow” at the time. Thank goodness he had a wife and at least one mistress to console himself with during those dark days.

Quacker July 2, 2008 at 5:08 pm

[re=28725]freakishlystrong[/re]:

Oh, I’m sure back when he was 8, they called him Chipper, and he was just “precious’.” In a suthern gennelmen kinda way….

Quacker July 2, 2008 at 5:20 pm

[re=28737]gjdodger[/re]:

Today, all of McComb just must be so proud! They gots quite a newspaper for’em.

Guppy06 July 2, 2008 at 5:20 pm

It’s really quite simple; spending time with your family means you actually spend time with them, getting to know them, their strengths and weaknesses, their loves and fears… and then realize how good you had it when you worked in a different time zone from this bunch of crazies and divorce so you can go bang 7-diamond lobbyists.

Lazy Media July 2, 2008 at 5:40 pm

We need a guest post from Megan Carpentier on why lobbyists are such home wreckers.

Scarab July 2, 2008 at 6:29 pm

Funny, he doesn’t look like a total douchebag.

Wait… I was looking at an ad photo by mistake, never mind.

Mahousu July 2, 2008 at 6:30 pm

[re=28868]Guppy06[/re]: Or, in kinder terms, he decided that if he was going to spend more time with his family, he’d better upgrade the family first. Basically like investing in the 50″ plasma if you’re going to be watching a lot of TV.

kellygrrrl July 2, 2008 at 6:54 pm

Who the F would hook up with this tool?

snig July 2, 2008 at 6:59 pm

[re=28942]kellygrrrl[/re]: lobbyist looking for leverage. The wife looks normal, but his picture kind of reminds me of a Terry Gilliam animation, I keep expecting it’s eyes to start rolling around.

ShortShadey July 2, 2008 at 7:07 pm

Do these guys go to their barber and say, “Gimme a ‘Miss’ippi Douchebag Politician’”? First Trent Lott, and now this?

KTHXBAI July 2, 2008 at 8:15 pm

He looks elitist.

guerilla-nation July 2, 2008 at 8:57 pm

is there some sort of helmet head law in mississippi? between trent lott, thad cochran and this shitbag, they use more aquanet than ann richards ever could have …

guerilla-nation July 2, 2008 at 9:21 pm

i just filled out the wedding announcement form at the mccomb, ms paper:

Wedding Announcement
Some slutty Telecom Lobbyist and Chip Pickering were married as soon as he dumped his wife in Washington, DC, with the Rev. Larry Craig officiating.

Parents of the couple are A couple of hicks (bride) of Bumfuck, MS and An old racist (groom) of Shitville, MS.

The bride, escorted by Her illigetimate son, wore a red sheath dress slit up to the waist. She carried a bottle of cheap gin.

Laura Bush of Midland, TX was matron of honor.

Trent Lott’s hot daughter was maid of honor.

Bridesmaids were:
A bunch of other whorebag lobbyists

The bride’s attendants wore tube tops and carried cans of Pearl Light.

Serving as best man was George W. Bush .

Ringbearer was Chip’s own son, son of Chip Pickering.

Flower girl was Chip’s own daughter, daughter of the postman. She wore no shoes.

The bride’s mother, Loretta, wore cutoffs.

The groom’s mother, a wrinkled old racist bitch, wore a white robe and hood.

Contact Information
Contact name: Chip Pickering
Contact phone number: 202-225-5031

schvitzatura July 2, 2008 at 10:08 pm

Spend time with “a” family…any port in a storm, Chaz!

Cast from the same mold as McCain and Gingrich…it is just a stepping-stone to more power and bonus coins and stars…

Santorum? In 3, 2, 1…

econdave July 3, 2008 at 10:03 am

California legalized gay marriage, Justin McCain gets married in Virginia, and then Chip Pickering gets divorced. Coincidence? I think not! It’s all teh gays fault! They’re destroying heterosexual marriage!

Humble Pi July 3, 2008 at 10:30 am

He shore has a purty mouth…

ObamaIsAnIdiot July 3, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Wow is all I can say. I thought you left wingnuts were to be so concerned about the miseries of others but all I can see is hatred. Wonkette is a fucking idiot if they really believe that about Mississippi. I’ve been there many times and have found some of the nicest folks you’d ever want to meet anywhere.

You folks are so full of hatred it’s really embarrassing to see you consider yourselves part of the human race, instead, you sound more like part of the human waste.

Liberals have to be some of the most hypocritical folks in the world. Drink the kool aid kids and you’ll wind up dead. Well, that might not be so bad for the world to be rid of more socialists.

Sabre_Justice July 4, 2008 at 7:09 am

[re=29568]ObamaIsAnIdiot[/re]: Speak for yourself.

Platypus July 7, 2008 at 2:32 pm

ObamaIsAnIdiot: It’s not hate it’s heritage (hat tip to my wingnut Southern civil war apologist neighbors). Chip (a.k.a Douchebag) is going to have to eat this healthy “blue plate” special “meat and three” serving of comeuppance he cooked for himself.

It’s hard to feel the least bit sorry for this “True Blue” member of Congress when he’s made it such a point to constantly remind the world what a really wonderful guy he is and how much better he is than everyone else.

Besides his girlfriend(s) will help soften his hard landing with some seven-figure lobbying job. Of course how long the girlfriend(s) stick(s) around depends on how long it takes sweetie pie to castrate him in divorce court.

jollyo July 10, 2008 at 10:57 pm

Well it is always interesting to read the comments people write about Mississippi to know that ignorance is alive and well!

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