VENT YOUR ANGRY  5:37 pm July 1, 2008

Help Hillary Dude Make Nobama Radio Commercials!

by Ken Layne

Ed Hale, creator of the World’s Greatest Website for pretend Hillary Clinton fanatics who WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE COLORED, has a favor to ask. Would you mind making Internet-radio commercials for his make-believe Internet Radio show against the Nobamas? You know, if you “think you have what it takes to be a radio star”? It is going to be a whole radio network“The NO Obama Talk Show Network. A place where you can vent your angry against Obama.” Let’s vent our angry together.

Here’s the message Hale sent out today:

Hi All: Well I am excited at the coming of the anti obama talk show. Please go to the home page of www.hcsfjm.com, click on the banner that say “No Obama Talk Show” and look at the proposal.You may also vote on it. One more thing, if you think you have what it takes to be a radio star, then on the right side is a list of commerical I need for this radio program. All the instruction are there, so record those commercials and send them to me. It will be about 10 days before I have the equuipment I need to get here to start this show. Once it is here, then we will go live via the internet and take your calls. Ed

Make your commercial for the magic Nobama Show and send them to Ed! More importantly, send them to your Wonkette, and we’ll post them tomorrow, so we can vent our angry.

Maybe one day Wonkette will have its own Radio Network Internet Show, even, to vent your angry!

(Thanks to “Mr. X” for the tip.)
hcsfjm.com

 
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{ 94 comments }

InsidiousTuna July 1, 2008 at 5:40 pm

I’ve been looking for a new avenue to vent my angry. My caps lock key’s getting worn out.

SuperRounder July 1, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Great. Now Bitters are clinging to the internets, too. Haven’t they figured out how to find the porn?

Keram2 July 1, 2008 at 5:46 pm

Wait? Did talk radio just get crazier? How’d they do that?

polar_bear July 1, 2008 at 5:48 pm

“Anti-Obama Supporter”

What exactly does that mean?

The Station Manager July 1, 2008 at 5:51 pm

I’m not exactly sure what “venting my angry” means, but it sure sounds sexy. Count me in.

Them July 1, 2008 at 5:52 pm

I think Ed just vented his angry into his pants.

You know, you could save a lot of time by simply posting that “MORANS!” picture next to every post at this site.

Jobbotch July 1, 2008 at 5:56 pm

“Vent your angry” is like a late-period Michael Stipe lyric.

Outstando July 1, 2008 at 5:57 pm

Keep your angry ventilated and lubricated and it should last you for generations.

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 6:00 pm

[re=27994]polar_bear[/re]: I think it means that anti-obama supporters support people who are anti-Obama without actually hating Obama themselves

FunkyPalmettoBug July 1, 2008 at 6:01 pm

What, that “1/2 page ad in the Chicago Sun Times” offensive failed to destroy the Obama campaign?

tunamelt July 1, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=28004]Outstando[/re]: It’s something to be treasured, handed down from grandfather to grandson.

greatgooglymoogly July 1, 2008 at 6:05 pm

Can we put this guy in a room with Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly and the rest and just let them scream at each other until they melt or something? Do we really have to sit by while yet another sack of shit gets incredibly wealthy by hating yet another politician?

Brutus Harlot July 1, 2008 at 6:08 pm

How will he spell things rong when he is talking not righting?

ShortShadey July 1, 2008 at 6:09 pm

Unfortunately, I don’t have the right audio equuipment to vent my angry by making radio commericals, even if all the instruction are there.

wheelie July 1, 2008 at 6:09 pm

I love the start of their latest video! They discover that Chris Rock talks about white Bitters fucking their sisters – and then (gasp) – they show the very same Chris Rock introducing Baracist Hoosayn Obama! Srsly! Jeebus!! DA WITES R DUMED!!

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 6:10 pm

I AM SO ANGER RIGHT NOW. MAYBE I AM HUNGER AS WELL.

SayItWithWookies July 1, 2008 at 6:10 pm

Is this a grassNOOTS organization?
[re=28012]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: Fear not — I get the impression that Ed is one lightly-furred ballsack who won’t become incredibly wealthy from his little hatefest.

ShortShadey July 1, 2008 at 6:10 pm

[re=28012]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: Somehow I don’t see this guy with his website called http://www.hcsfjm.com – doesn’t exactly roll off the fingertips, does it? – getting rich and minting ” radio stars.”

jagorev July 1, 2008 at 6:11 pm

This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Please, Ken Layne, please set up a radio talk show internet network for us to vent our angry too!

El Bombastico July 1, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Hey, they already have 2 Obama supporter lined up for the show! I’m guessing AngryBlakGuy and shortsshortsshorts. “Sharpen those teeth.” Wait, WTF does that mean?

And producing a radio spot that is no shorter than 24 seconds and no longer than 28 seconds will really stifle my creativity.

NebraskashireGentry July 1, 2008 at 6:19 pm

can you stream this online radio network here?

I want to listen but I don’t want to give them page views…perceived popularity will only encourage them.

tunamelt July 1, 2008 at 6:21 pm

The commercials are going to basically be spoken aloud versions of the ads you see on the backs of old comic books, for sea monkeys, and such. Or like the ads in weekly circulars, for escorts and medical marijuana doctors.

tunamelt July 1, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Also, the glowing ad with the magical dollar sign that reads “Green Rain for John McCain” is fucking priceless.

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 6:32 pm

[re=28022]El Bombastico[/re]: While its appreciated, I don’t think I’d last 5 minutes on their program before pulling a few opposite-Imus’.

AnnieGetYourFun July 1, 2008 at 6:33 pm

Slightly OT, but whatevs: a bunch of Bitters were on some NPR show the other day, all of whom missed Hillary but most of whom planned to vote for Obama. Only one eedjut was voting for McCain, and said something like “I’m not voting for HOO-SAYN O-SAMA… [pause for laughter] [crickets] It’s just one letter difference, folks… [pause]… He’s a Mooslem.” It was the saddest thing ever. I almost wish someone had chuckled, but then again, I also wish something had torn him to shreds with their bare hands.

Cicada July 1, 2008 at 6:34 pm

I did the clicky on the link and heard the voice of Ed Hale! It was everything I thought it would be. He sounds remarkably like the narrator from “Dukes of Hazzard” (aka Waylon Jennings).

Will Hillary be able to jump the General Lee over the convention floor and get to the Supers on time? Sqee-dee-deedly-dee.

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm

http://nupolls.com/result/43513/

And they ALREADY have 63 people who will listen to it! I hope the Sun-Times is proud of their endorsement. Hacks.

johnbpt July 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm

Love Ed’s spiel, though I think he should probably put his teeth in next time.

Cicada July 1, 2008 at 6:37 pm

[re=28023]NebraskashireGentry[/re]: I prefer to think of it as building up their hopes unrealistically so that their souls will be crushed in November. It’s all about the long-term payoff in yummy, yummy soul juice.

warreno July 1, 2008 at 6:39 pm

[re=28014]ShortShadey[/re]: All your angry are belong to us!

columnv July 1, 2008 at 6:45 pm

[re=28027]tunamelt[/re]: I’ve always thought they should have a coin based version of the green sign that read: Golden Showers for Johnny McWALNUTS!

KevoTron July 1, 2008 at 6:49 pm

[re=28033]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I can picture it now:

Ed Hale: Well we all know Noobama is dirty, homo, crack smoking muslim. But what we need to know is what KIND of crack.

shortshortshorts: Well, Ed… First let me say “thanks for having me.” According to Larry Sinclair’s recent testimony at the…ACKKK!!! Oh GOD!! EAT A DICK! No no no no no. Eat MANY dicks. SEVERAL of them.

Ed Hale: That’s all the time we have….

shortshortshorts: douchebag.

RacerMex July 1, 2008 at 6:53 pm

I have the radio chops and voice to do it but alas I have no time. I can only support racism in the guise of pro-feminisim on a very limited basis.

Guppy06 July 1, 2008 at 6:56 pm

[re=27994]polar_bear[/re]: Yeah, I was wondering about that too. First off, it’s “Obama supporters and anti Obama supporter,” note the lack of an S at the end of the second one, so there must only be one of them. But beyond that, are they inviting someone who supports the anti-Obama? Does this make them a Satanist, or just Barry’s long lost albino twin?

Joey Ratz July 1, 2008 at 6:59 pm

…a list of commerical I need.

WTF is commerical? Is it his medication? Is that the point of this thing – poor, housebound Ed needs someone to go get a bottle of Commerical for him? Seems like a lot of work to put up a whole talk show network just to get some young whippersnapper to get him his meds.

Joey Ratz July 1, 2008 at 7:04 pm

[re=28055]Guppy06[/re]: According to Pat Robertson, the Anti-Obama lives among us, subtly plotting to become head of the UN and then taking over the world and ushering in the apocalypse. Ed should know better than to mess with this guy.

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 7:04 pm

[re=28051]KevoTron[/re]: That sounds more like a last encounter with a local DNC.

[re=28061]Joey Ratz[/re]: Clear, there is a logic for this man angry. He suppose that Barack Obama is man with no smarts, which bring curious to many peoples. With lucky, Kane webplace will find many commercial and messages with be heards.

KevoTron July 1, 2008 at 7:10 pm

[re=28068]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Reminds me of that retarded movie from last year “How She Move.” -come soon to DVD at store near you.

RaptorAvatar July 1, 2008 at 7:22 pm

I seriously want to make my own NoBama Ads. I think we should all make subversive ads and then send them in just to jam the Hilltardz.

Jewdishoowary Square July 1, 2008 at 7:55 pm

[re=27994]polar_bear[/re]: Good question: who is the anti-Obama? Pat Buchanan? Or maybe just this hopeful Bitter right here?

Mahousu July 1, 2008 at 8:03 pm

[re=28008]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: The “1/2 page ad in the Chicago Sun Times” offensive hasn’t happened yet, because, um, Ed hasn’t quite raised enough money yet. There were a few complaints about that in his forum, along with dark suspicions that PayPal must be in the Obama camp and is spoiling things, somehow.

But never fear, Ed’ll pay for the radio stuff himself if he has to!

bitchincamaro July 1, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Dear Ed:

I was doing just fine driving angry. I’d rather not overdo it by adding the venting.

Thanks,
bitchincamaro

wheelie July 1, 2008 at 8:13 pm

Audio bloggers have been quick to react to support this great cause. Here is a reaction from Europe praising hcsfjm.com:

http://www.supload.com/music/Veelie-Beelinzfurmccain-download-JKECYIURKIA5.html

(PS – my first time using supload.com so please let me know if doesn’t live stream the audio)

Cicada July 1, 2008 at 8:20 pm

[re=28087]wheelie[/re]: Nice! How long will it take Hale to change his website name to “Ex-Hillary Clinton Supporters for John McCain, International”?
Oh, who am I kidding. He’ll never spell international correctly.

ronaldpagan July 1, 2008 at 8:31 pm

[re=28083]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: Harriet Christian. Which makes Obama the anti-Christ, if you think about it.

RuperttheBear July 1, 2008 at 8:51 pm

[re=28093]ronaldpagan[/re]: Have you seen any of the “Left Behind” series? ‘Cause Kirk Cameron sucks all the blackness out of a room. Just saying.

wheelie July 1, 2008 at 8:52 pm

[re=28091]Cicada[/re]: I kno. Hee wont even spell Ierland porperly.

Urbane Irish audio bloggers in that part of Europe are also voicing their opinions:

http://www.supload.com/music/Wheelie-Voteforthatladjohnmcain-download-QQBG5AJP47NY.html

Cicada July 1, 2008 at 8:55 pm
RuperttheBear July 1, 2008 at 9:00 pm

[re=28106]Cicada[/re]: The Hitler comparison sorta works for me.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=feLqz1udhtY&feature=related

Redhead July 1, 2008 at 9:01 pm

Ah Ed. I’ve had a long day at work, am very tired and was just thinking, my night would be complete if only I had someone I could make fun of with little effort. Someone who made the mocking brainless.

And then I saw the latest from Ed, and it’s just TOO easy.

Ed seems AWFULLY hung up on Chris Rock’s comments about f*cking sisters. I mean, in that same (sarcastic, comedic) speech, Rock made several comments making fun of white people. Yet the one Ed is SO hung up on is the f*cking sisters comment. So, Ed, why is this one comment so important to you? I have to admit, it WOULD explain a lot.

I’m also curious how exactly Obama liking a comedian equals treason in Ed’s mind, but then again, incest can affect the mental state…

Cicada July 1, 2008 at 9:07 pm

[re=28114]RuperttheBear[/re]: I personally like the quote that Bear-bear is “in the pocket of America haters.” A pocket sized Barry? For little ol’ America hatin’ me? Aw, shucks, you shouldn’t have.

off-white working class July 1, 2008 at 9:09 pm

“vent your angry”?!?!??! uh great job asshole.

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 9:12 pm

I hope our overlords post the date and time of these radio shows, I would love to call-in and suggest various recipes for whatever the hell the Hillipaultards consume.

Cicada July 1, 2008 at 9:15 pm

[re=28125]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You have a recipe for goat taints? Please share!

FunkyPalmettoBug July 1, 2008 at 9:29 pm

[re=28085]Mahousu[/re]: I’m not worried at all, this whole thing is like the sinclair scam.

loquaciousmusic July 1, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Here’s my submission; I rose to the challenge of doing a promo for Ed’s show. Keep in mind that I don’t have a real microphone and that I only did radio in college, so like the rest of the Hilltards, this falls squarely into the “FWIW” category.

http://www.mediafire.com/?cdje5bdjdbt

I can’t wait to hear the show, though. I’m sure it will be life — and mind — changing.

loquaciousmusic July 1, 2008 at 9:42 pm

By the way, I know my spot is a little long, but 28 seconds doesn’t do Ed Hale justice.

mpslim July 1, 2008 at 10:00 pm

All your delegates are belong to us!

mpslim July 1, 2008 at 10:11 pm

We must never underestimate Ed Hale and his Nobamas. Behold the diabolical plan:

“I had also thought about hitting some of the cities with ads in the Thrifty Nickel. Less expensive and common folks read them cause they are free.”

Great expressions of exasperation! Anything but the Thrify Nickel!!

Joey Ratz July 1, 2008 at 10:22 pm

[re=28130]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Excellent! That website name is a real mouthful, isn’t it?

FunkyPalmettoBug July 1, 2008 at 10:22 pm

[re=28130]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Bravo! rotflmao

loquaciousmusic July 1, 2008 at 10:26 pm

[re=28147]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re] & [re=28146]Joey Ratz[/re]: Thanks, guys. I love you all.

echoman2000 July 1, 2008 at 10:30 pm

ed hale raped me.

American Dreamer July 1, 2008 at 10:35 pm

OH. MY. GOD. The Drudge Report just reported that ShortsShortsShorts will announce his pick for president tomorrow night on CNN with Larry King. I am betting even money he opts for Barr.

itgetter July 1, 2008 at 10:45 pm

Well, it certainly doesn’t compare to loquaciousmusic’s masterpiece, but here’s my attempt:

http://www.mediafire.com/?iaxmmfw4zxg

wonk_the_heck July 1, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Don’t you bother, I’m registering hcsfjmfhcin12.com

Johnny Zhivago July 1, 2008 at 10:48 pm

[re=28130]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I think it’s a little too professional sounding for your target audience, but I almost broke a vein laughing when you pronounced the URL.

Mr-Clark July 1, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Ken Layne,

Well, I’ve been known to get bored on occasion. Usually, it is just because I am procrastinating on something that does need to be done. (Like I am doing right now!) I’d rather watch reruns of all the episodes of “The Avengers.” (Well, the ones with Diana Rigg as Mrs. Emma Peel.) That is about as cultish as I will get these days.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

shortsshortsshorts July 1, 2008 at 11:29 pm

[re=28130]loquaciousmusic[/re]: It was no WALNUTS dancing on Elvis’ body, but that was awesome.

prizepig July 1, 2008 at 11:38 pm

From the “Flyer Ideas” section of hcsfjm.com:

Please write us how the flyer should read, what we are interested is that the copy should be perfect in grammer and spelling. Fill out the form below and submit it.

This is like shooting fish in a barrel. Little retarded fish…

http://www.hcsfjm.com/design.html

Mr Blifil July 1, 2008 at 11:47 pm

What if I go there to vent my angry and end up venting my spleen instead? Will I require hospitalization?

Johnny Zhivago July 2, 2008 at 12:07 am
lazynamepicker July 2, 2008 at 12:12 am

Makes you question whether democracy is really such a great idea after all.

RuperttheBear July 2, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=28173]prizepig[/re]: I have been busy this night.

Wavingsuzy July 2, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=28130]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Love it! I can only hope special Ed truly appreciates it as much as I did

graceless July 2, 2008 at 12:28 am

[re=28132]loquaciousmusic[/re]: I’ll vote for the NEEEEGROOOOOW. Just so you know.

Johnny Zhivago July 2, 2008 at 12:47 am
loquaciousmusic July 2, 2008 at 7:23 am

Oh my God, you guys!

I just received this audio message from Ed Hale…and it’s directed to all of us!

http://www.mediafire.com/?9w2yjhm9fbm

Humble Pi July 2, 2008 at 9:13 am

[re=28121]Cicada[/re]: Is that a Barry in your pocket, or are you just hopey to hate me?

teebob2000 July 2, 2008 at 10:30 am

I donated a penny to Ed’s cause via PayPal and got back the friendly little e-mail, unedited of course.

—– Original Message —–
From: Ed Hale
To: XXXXXX@comcast.net
Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2008 10:16 PM
Subject: You should be more careful to who you your penneys to

[NAME]
[ADDR1]
[ADDR2]
[PHONE]

Do you want me to call you or is this the last time.

Ed Hale

************************

Is it just me, or did I get threatened??

loquaciousmusic July 2, 2008 at 11:05 am

[re=28343]teebob2000[/re]: That looks like a threat. It sucks for Ed; the next time there’s a HUGE SALE ON TRUCK NUTZ, no one’s going to tell him!

StupidGeek July 2, 2008 at 11:17 am

“Vent your angry!”

This is the best, most exciting thing I’ve heard today.

ForeignSickSpecialist July 2, 2008 at 11:18 am

I vented my angry this morning into my lady’s vagina, then I corresponded with the anti Obama supporter. There’s only one, and he has his hands full- of Obama’s penis.

The Neoskeptic July 2, 2008 at 11:20 am

I left my angry at huffpo

teebob2000 July 2, 2008 at 11:43 am

[re=28130]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Jumpin Jeebus on a pogo-shtick, that’s funny!

Lazy Media July 2, 2008 at 11:58 am

For a good mnemonic to remember Ed’s website, just pronounce hcsfjm as “Hicks Fudge
‘Em.”

mookworthjwilson July 2, 2008 at 1:21 pm

[re=28343]teebob2000[/re]: Does he intentionally spell something wrong in every sentence he wrytes? Is it just his thinge?

ladymacbeth July 2, 2008 at 3:17 pm

[re=28034]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: you will probably never get this as my two stupid jobs and one demanding hobby require that i’m always fourteen hours late to wonkette parties, BUT:

i heard that NPR interview twice. i am so utterly exhausted of hearing the bitters that i pledged $50 less to NPR and told them they lost that $50 b/c of Mara Liasson’s thing for old ceiling cracks.

i have not turned NPR back on since.

The Neoskeptic July 2, 2008 at 3:31 pm

this purse is aware of all internet tradishuns

teddytoad July 2, 2008 at 5:49 pm

ARE YOU AN ANTI-OBAMA SUPPORTER?

Do you oppose Obama’s supporters? (You don’t have to oppose Obama!)
Do you support the anti-Obama? (His coming has been foretold!)

Aspiring to new heights of political irrelevancy?
Then vent your angry with Ed Hale today! We’ve got the equuipment!

wheelie July 3, 2008 at 8:30 pm

[re=28252]@ loquaciousmusic[/re]:
[re=28191]@ Johnny Zhivago[/re]:
[re=28155]@ itgetter[/re]:

I just got to hear your audio. You people are vicious! I love it!!!

Va voter for McCain July 17, 2008 at 7:17 am

What a joke this article is. The HCSFJM.COM is in every way the real deal. You might be dumb enough to believe Obama but to the person who wrote this article we are not a dumb as you must be. You need to get over it because the Hillary supporters arent backing McCain. Obama should have not attended Trinity and had close ties with all the other racists like Jesse Jackson, Rev. Wright, Al Sharpton, Black Panthers. Lets talk about Jesse Jackson. I don’t think he ever would have spoke badly about Obama if he were all BLACK. Ok, let me go further to talk about the crooks that Obama hung with “Rezco”. All of these people have no morality. There are all self centered and cannot look beyond the needs of anyone but themselves.

Va voter for McCain July 17, 2008 at 7:18 am

OK, Let me correct myself Hillary Supporters are Backing MccAin 100%!

Va voter for McCain July 19, 2008 at 10:10 am

MCAIN IS GOING TO WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

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