INSANE Hilltards On Vandalism Rampage?

  conspiracies

Obama smokes crack and eats cold Popeye'sSo this guy in Orlando was driving, at night, when he suddenly noticed a gazillion cars all covered in goofy graffiti saying “Obama smokes crack.” But that’s only the beginning of the troubling evidence at the crime scene pointing to a NOBAMA PUMA Just Say No Deal Hillary Clinton 4 EVA Conspiracy.

“I’m driving by and every car I see has been hit with spray paint,” witness Mike Lowe said. “There is so much damage to them. There are messages written on them and the vandals left their business card, which is crazy.”

Special business cards left near the damaged vehicles contained negative messages about Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain. However, there were positive words about Sen. Hillary Clinton, Local 6′s Kimberly Houk reported.

Mark Penn got drunk and printed up some cheap business cards and flew to Orlando, where he drove around with all two of his friends painting cars until dawn. He is still drunk today.

‘Obama’ Hate Messages, Graffiti Cover 60 Orlando City Vehicles [Local 6]

 
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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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65 comments

  1. Cool2Snog

    Having the nation saw that Terry McAuliffe guy on television with a belly full of cheap rum, I don’t think the police need cast their nets too far.

  2. SuperRounder

    Mickey Mouse was a Hilltard? You’d think he’d be down with the brown, just to show some big eared solidarity.

  3. problemwithcaring

    I’m sorry – I think their hate-filled graffiti correctly reads: “Obama smoke crack”. Mind the sloppy journalism.

  4. Truculent

    [re=26815]SayItWithWookies[/re]: This is just a placeholder until Karl finishes doctoring up that gay porn DVD. Takes a while to insert Obama’s face into all those scenes.

    What? You think I’m kidding?

  5. Sean O

    Wow, while Oboma Smoke Crack is what gets the attention, it’s the baby-blue abstract designs towards the front of the SUV that are the real substance.

    Who knew the bitters were so artistic?

  6. SayItWithWookies

    [re=26834]Truculent[/re]: Nah, Karl’s not that foolish — he’ll stay away from the gay porn meme lest it capture the imagination of all the Republicans disgusted with McCain.
    Though if I were Obama, my response to this would be, “See, Florida needs some education money and they need it now.” I know vandals don’t have a reputation as the world’s best spellers, but this is a cry for help.

  7. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=26838]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: They were attacking McCain too, so I don’t know. I think it was either a Paultard turned-Hilltard, or a loyal Hilltard is firmly believes the convention will settle the score, one and for all.

  8. XOMuffintop

    As a resident on the Orlando area, I am surprised the vandals were able to for a statement that was so close to being gramatically accurate.

  9. Truculent

    [re=26845]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Or just capture the imagination of republicans period.

  10. WonksRunAmuck

    Has to be hilltards, they’re trying to alleviate some campaign debt. graffiti free car = free advertising. Quite the entrepreneurial streak here.

  11. ronaldpagan

    They’re clearly giving him helpful campaign advice. It’s meant to read “Obama, smoke crack!” The back says “Because coke is too elitist.”

  12. problemwithcaring

    [re=26851]slavojzizek[/re]: I luv that Hilltards now think Obama’s problem is that he is too Clintonesque. Will these people stop at nothing to justify their non-transendental racism?

  13. freakishlystrong

    [re=26855]graceless[/re]: Actually, I was thinking more “Hillary Pantsuit” blue…

  14. Godless Liberal *

    I secretly hope Obama loses so he can devote the next 8 years to suing every ignorant jackass this side of California for libel.

  15. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=26846]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …my perception is that it a Republican who is picking at the Democratic nomination scab. Even the most hardcore Hil-tards realize she has a 0% chance of winning the nomination. So why would they go out of their way and jeopardizes their freedom by vandalizing 60 cars? It just seems WAAAAAAAY over the top for a Hil-tard. However a McCain supporter would realize that Hil-tards aren’t voting for McCain because they like him or his policies, they are voting for him because of revenge. So they can attack their own candidate(to throw the police off) and it doesnt matter because Hil-tards don’t care. Also during Hillary’s failed attempt to steal the election she drove a massive wedge between the democratic party in the state of Florida and it is advantageous for Republicans to keep that in front of the minds of Hillary voters. In the very least if McCain doesn’t pick-up some Hillary voters, maybe he can suppress their vote. Its a bit Machiavellian(and more than likely wrong) but it makes sense.

  16. ManchuCandidate

    Mad Tards, Mad tards
    Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
    When they come for you
    (Repeat)

    Mad tards
    Always whine, Always whine
    Whatcha gonna do
    When Barack Obama flicks you
    Tell me
    Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna dooo
    Yeaheah

    CHORUS

    When you were old
    And you had low votes
    You support Hils
    And fail the primary rules
    So why are you
    Acting like a ancient Tool
    If you get hot
    You must get cool

    CHORUS

    You spray it on that one
    You spray it on this one
    You spray it on your daughter’s and
    You spray it on your sonny’s
    You spray it on your brother’s and
    You spray it on your sister’s
    You spray it on that one and
    You spray it on mine

    CHORUS
    (Repeat)

    Nobody naw give you no break
    Obama naw give you no break
    McCain naw give you no break
    Not even Clinton naw give you no break
    Hehe

  17. ronaldpagan

    [re=26870]problemwithcaring[/re]: I know, right? It is so surreal to hear them bash Obama because some of his more cynical moves imply that he might – in the absolute worst-case scenario – turn out a little like Bubba.

  18. Quacker

    [re=26872]Serolf Divad[/re]:

    Those guys clearly should have been kicked out of the lunchroom in Jr. High School by football players. Then we would never have had to see this….

  19. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    [re=26846]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:
    Nah. I’d bet the farm these are hardcore right wing Minute Men types who don’t want this getting back to McCain. In fact, I’m pretty confident that most of these Nobama Hilltard folks are really just lifelong Cracker-ass Republicans who want to sew doubt in the minds of hard-working ‘Nillas.

  20. Doglessliberal

    [re=26874]Godless Liberal *[/re]: he’d better not file in DC because accusations of crack smoking are not libel in the District. They get you reelected (see, Barry, Marion).

  21. Paultardville

    Wait, so they’re trying to win voters over by vandalizing their cars? Jeebus, when did America become a third-world country?

  22. Delicious

    [i]60 city vehicles parked across the street from City Hall[/i]

    Fuck City Hall!

    Yeah! Fucking A Right!

  23. Doglessliberal

    [re=26895]Guppy06[/re]: the former Crack-smoking Bitch Set Me Up Mayor of DC, now a City Councilman, just launched his reelection campaign from the pulpit of a church, invoking God about every other word. I guess separation of church and state doesn’t apply in Barry-world.

  24. slavojzizek

    [re=26870]problemwithcaring[/re]: Yes. The reason Hillary Clinton ran emphasizing her experience in her husband’s administration was that she wanted to show how she was going to break with his policies and approaches if elected. That makes a lot of sense.

  25. KevoTron

    Who says it’s Hillary or McCain supporters (or, for that matter, Paultards)? You know those Orlando hoodlums… For all I can guess they’re probably stoked on “Oboma” smoking da rock. “Yeah bitches! He’s a pipe-hittin’ Prezident! Get your vote out y’all! Vote or DIE and shit!”

    Also, what’s it mean when I can’t comment on the Aussie stoner chick thread? Did I miss some misogyny or something off-color over there?

  26. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=26889]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: You may be right. Maybe the Nobama Hilltards do not in fact exist in reality and are simply internet-trolls. I mean really, that might be totally accurate.

  27. WIDTAP

    …because nothing makes one want to agree with the fellow more than when he takes a spray can to you new car paint job.

  28. travellabyrinth

    [re=26833]RaptorAvatar[/re]: I think it said Oboema. So it was probably done by some Dutch people who watched Jiskefet. Oboema’s character was described by the Dutch, who colonized South Africa, as the “white negro”.

  29. hopeforbill

    Do the Orlando cops ever go by city hall? Most taggers might get 2 or 3 in such an obvious place, not 60. Unless the Orlando PD love Hilz?!?

  30. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=26877]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: But what if it was one of Obama’s rival gangs??

  31. S.Luggo

    It was the Art Students League of NY, fearful of losing their exclusivity on elitism, those Chardonnay-swilling bastards.

  32. Slutty_Chola_Cobbler

    I doubt it’s Hilltards, I say they are Walnuts supporters using Hilltards as scapegoats and to create a divide.

    I can only imagine Slick Willy enjoying this..

  33. American Dreamer

    This looks like the work of Canuckledrugger (the Nook of the North). I would recognize that profanity anywhere. His parents must have taken him out of the mental institution for imbeciles where he is kept for a weekend of fun and sun in Orlando.

  34. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=27239]American Dreamer[/re]: Now Tony, that was unfunny, and not nearly insulting enough.

  35. Mr. Spanky

    We Orlandoans are told weekly by Fox 35 News not to leave our cars on the streets and Super WalMart parking lots for fear of coming back and finding some rude graffiti sprayed on them.

    But does the City pay attention to these warnings? No!

    BTW, there is a hard-core pod of Paultards in O-Town. They would be my prime suspects for this mischief!

  36. NebraskashireGentry

    [re=26877]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I think the thought process of most vandals is more closely akin to: car! must paint!

  37. Whore Diamond in the Rough

    [re=26813]wallythepug[/re]: I know, right? I thought Hillary supporter were white middle class (over)educated ladies.

Comments are closed.