Bobby Jindal is watching you masturbate.In the great state of Louisiana, any citizen can file, for free, a petition to recall the governor — and that is exactly what some dude and his wife have done, because Bobby Jindal won’t veto a pay raise that would double the salary of state legislators. Will Ryan and Kourtney Fournier be able to bring down the crazed teenaged exorcism and castration fetishist who skyrocketed to the highest office in the state? Probably not, because they’ll have to collect nearly a million signatures in the next six months. But still!

Nobody likes Bobby Jindal because he ran for office saying he wouldn’t allow the legislature to immediately raise their own pay. But now he’s totally letting that happen, like a hypocrite! He just sits on his thumbs all day making sounds about how he “strongly encourages” the legislature to “reconsider.”

He has until July 8 to veto this perverted legislation, and if he does then the Fourniers will quit collecting signatures. Unfortunately, the only legislation Bobby Jindal really cares about is the kind relating to testicles, so he will probably just let this bill become a law and then all the Louisiana Fat Cats will be walking around with $37,500 whole dollars in their pockets every year.

Recall petition filed against Jindal [Times-Picayune]

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  • ronaldpagan

    Whoa I totally missed that castration thing. I bet B. Jind is the hero of Jezebel.

    PS: Who is allowed to sign the recall petition?

  • Godless Liberal *

    It makes me sick, the way Fouriners can come to this country and destroy our democracy.

  • TGY

    You don’t understand. Castration and exorcism are plusses for a politician in Louisiana. If he’d just have someone dragged through a swamp, he’d be in like Flint.

  • SuperRounder

    Jindal heird religious issues,an inability to stand up for himself, and he’s good at pissing off taxpayers. Hey WALNUTS, if this guy’s willing to bottom, I’d say he’s your man!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Please Walnuts, pick him. The preznit campaign is looking less and less amusing as Old Man Walnuts keeps mumbling, fumbling and stumbling along while Obama is trying to tack to the center. It seems that by August we will only have Bill Clinton–who is telling, no, demanding that Obama lick his asshole clean to get Bill to campaign for him–to snark on. Well, I’m sick of Bill as a political figure and object of scorn.

    We need Jeebus Mansack hating Jindal to be the “Veep” in the “McCain” ticket.

  • WadISay

    About this chemical castration thing, it’s not like you drink something and your perverted pecker falls off. It’s depro-provera, so you just lose the urge. It would be like saying Summit beer is chemical lobotomization or something.

  • stankfest

    Did this guy win any speeling-bees as a kid to get his start as a real-crowd pleaser?

  • teh_heysoos

    Since I can’t comment on the ad below this entry, I’ll post here to say BOOOOOO to ads in the main column!

  • SuperRounder

    [re=26660]SuperRounder[/re]: That should read “Jindal has weird.” Fuck it. It should read “dead joke.”

  • Barack Me Obamadeus

    [re=26665]teh_heysoos[/re]: Truck Nutz don’t buy themselves, you know.

  • Count Snarkula

    All you need to collect 1M signatures in Louisiana is a few trips to the graveyard.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=26663]WadISay[/re]: The bill also provides for the possibility of the real thing…

  • Guppy06

    Now now, he’s not just into exorcism, castration and pay raises, he’s also a fan of the state’s new anti-evolution, anti-global-warming education law as well.

  • MoodProcessor

    Thanks for the clarification.
    I’ve been fighting off the image of of orange jumpsuit bedecked deviants tea-bagging sterilized mason jars of sulfuric acid.
    Though, this scenario may have a higher bang-for-buck deterrent ratio.

  • ronaldpagan

    [re=26661]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It’s so true. Picking on McCain is like laughing at a mentally-ill bag lady. Which is fun, fo sho, but a little unfulfilling.

  • WadISay

    [re=26677]mookworthjwilson[/re]: True that. Also, along with all the other crap in the water down there, there is probably enough saltpeter to “chemically castrate” the whole state.

  • BananiaBlogger

    @SuperRounder: You are my LOVE

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    In a sick sort of way I kind of hope they don’t get rid of the little testicular obsessed freak. This guy is comedy gold. Thank you Sleezeeanna!

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    Yeah, they aren’t too worried about about exorcisms and government castrations. No, they give a shit about legislative pay raises. Ugh.

    Get eaten by an alligator/morbidly obese LSU fan, Ryan and Kourtney Fournier!

  • Serolf Divad

    I’m afraid that now that Wonkette is no longer part of the Gawker media empire, the editors probably will probably have to (a) shower us with ads or (b) move to Louisiana to stay in business.

  • johnbpt

    That pay raise is soooo unnecessary. Louisiana politicians have always worked for tips.

  • econdave

    [re=26659]TGY[/re]: I believe the proper term is “drug through a swamp.”

  • populucious

    I love how we’re talking about a pay raise that takes them from poverty level to just a wee bit above poverty level. For possibly the first time in my life, I actually feel sorry for a group of southern politicians.

    But not too sorry to gain much enjoyment from mockery.

  • TGY

    [re=26719]econdave[/re]: Only if you were on Oxycontin at the time.

    “Oh, I wish I were on Oxycontin
    Bad time then would be fogotten!”

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    The thing about having piss-poor salaries for legislators is that it means only independently wealthy people with flexible job hours can do it… which basically means lawyers and retired businessmen, two groups that are already over-represented in govt anyway.

  • thefrontpage

    Jindal’s nothing but a hard-line conservative poseur with no experience who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Why and how Louisiana voted this guy into office remains a mystery to many people. A recall is actually a pretty good idea. Louisiana needs an experienced, competent politician to be its Governor–and, no, state legislators don’t need a pay raise. Why can’t the southern states elect decent folks as Governors? If you look at the recent histories in Florida, Kentucky, Arkansas, South Carolina and now Louisiana, you’ve got to wonder about the drinking water south of North Carolina.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=26661]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Jeebus Mansack is about the most manly name I’ve ever heard.

  • southernbitch

    hooo, boy. i might have to sign that.

  • southernbitch

    [re=26737]thefrontpage[/re]: actually, i’m not surprised at all that jindal got in office, because i worked on the campaign of the main democratic rival, and he got slaughtered. jindal started running for governor over four years ago, after he lost by a hair to blanco. and she appeared to fuddle everything up in regards to the hurricane- both before and after- so jindal had the sheen of a messiah. so i’m not surprised at all he won. after all, louisiana tends to vote for some crazy characters in general- huey long, edwin edwards, dollar bill jefferson…

  • Terry

    Jindal does fine in Louisiana because the bar there is fairly low to clear. Let’s see. Is he an active member of the Klan? No, that’s good. Does he take State funds to Vegas and gamble them away or hold gambling events in the Governor’s Mansion? No, that’s a plus. Woo hoo, we got us a viable candidate.

  • finette

    [re=26726]populucious[/re]: [re=26692]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: Hi, the $37,500 is for a few months’ work as has been pointed out repeatedly. They will be making more than any other Southern state legislature. As a state employee with two Masters who makes $5500 less than they do for a full year, yeah, I’m a little pissed.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=26737]thefrontpage[/re]: …Im not so sure it would actually make any difference considering that he thumped his closest opponent 53% to 18%. The whole demographic of that state is jacked up because of Hurricane Katrina. This guy is so out of his league it is reminiscent of “W”, its only a matter of time before he breaks something.

  • wallythepug

    Can’t they just recall him for being an assface?

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=26803]wallythepug[/re]: Why do you think they elected him in the first place?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=26803]wallythepug[/re]: Butt-cut for sure, but he may have more of a cunt-face… I guess it’s open to interpretation.

  • NedPepper

    Well, it would appear that we have outsourced the Governors job to India. Where’s Huey P. Long when we really need him?

  • mykl

    Fire him. Douche bag looks like Gilligan.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=26844]mykl[/re]: Channeling my inner Grover Norquist: Gilligan with a tan!

  • populucious

    [re=26754]finette[/re]: I defer to your infinite wisdom and experience. I was looking at the dollar amounts only, which seemed smaller than the usual amounts of money one usually sees rapacious grasping politicians trying to theive, but I am easily convinced that the Louisiana legislature is still a rapacious bunch of grasping thieves!

  • finette

    [re=26899]populucious[/re]: Oh, they definitely are. They first tried to triple their salary in the hope that no one would notice when it was just doubled instead.

  • NedPepper

    [re=26943]finette[/re]: Why any salary at all, give them expenses only, there are people that would pay the state for a seat in the legislature? This making a career out of politics is getting played or better still charge them a fee to serve.

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