Wonkette
- Infighting between the Bush administration and the CIA plus Pervez Musharraf’s reluctance to confront Al Qaeda equals more Qaeda presence in Pakistan even as they’re leaving Afghanistan. [New York Times]
- Robert Mugabe was hastily sworn in as Zimbabwean president and rushed off to the African Union summit, where nobody will say “boo” to him. [Wall Street Journal]
- In an appearance on Fox News Sunday, Bob Barr said he would be happy to play the Republicans’ Ralph Nader. [The Hill]
- Municipalities across the US cut back services due to high gas prices, and now kids might actually have to walk to school. [Los Angeles Times]
- Barack Obama has a plan to win the South. [New York Times]
- It’s sort of amazing that anybody who thinks Obama is a gay Muslim flag-hater would still give their names to reporters, but oh they do! [Washington Post]
DAILY BRIEFING
Nonsense, I understand we completely wiped out al Qaeda in Afghanistan years ago, freeing our military up to go enforce freedom in Iraq.
Also, now that we’ve won in Iraq, I hear pre-war operations are being launched in Iran, which is completely awesome.
Mugabe is a lot like like Bush. He’ll show up at the conference, act like everything is just fine and come back saying how productive the meeting was. The only difference is that we don’t get physically beat by our bullshit administration; we get mentally beat.
The WaPo story makes me want to either shoot myself, or everyone in Ohio. Having once been sentenced to a weekend in Findlay, I’m leaning towards the latter.
Also another rumor, Mugabe is Obama’s Godfather and is giving him political advice. I pity the poor white American farmers next year.
There are two benefits for US America as municipal governments cut services. One is that the nation can deal with the childhood obesity problem by making the fat butterballs actually walk to school because municipalities can’t afford the fuel for buses. Two, US Amurikans don’t read or care about knowing shit so it’s not like libraries really matter.
As long as the super rich people have their W pushed and Repub driven tax cuts then who cares, right?
Obama’s plan for the South is called Bob Barr. Am I the only retard who thinks select southern states could actually go Democrat?
John Adams was also a gay Muslim terrorist. You’d have to be to sign a document saying this:
“As the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion, - as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen, - and as the said States never have entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahomitan nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.”
ManchuCandidate:
I was thinking the same thing about our childhood obesity issues.
My grandfather used to walk to school everyday, five miles at at least, uphill, both ways, in three feet of snow year-round, without shoes. He was skinny as a rail when he died of exposure.
Now, if we could just get a few more gubment offices and private business to utilize tele-working, we may just be able to put a bigger dent in the oil/environmental issues at hand.
ronaldpagan: If you’re counting on Alabama voting D, then yes. If you’re sure about Virginia, optimistic about NC and hopeful about Georgia, then no.
The great inland sea cannot return soon enough.
Who thinks Obama is possibly gay? Is it because of L. Sinclair or his bowling skills?
PS: Obligatory OMG GAS IS EXPENSIVE I HAD NO IDEA!!
Also that thing in the WaPo about the guy who threatened to stop speaking to his daughter if she voted for Obama was pretty adorable.
MoodProcessor:
The little shits will have it easier because there won’t be any snow thanks to global climate change. However, they might want to take swimming lessons.
Godless Liberal *: Yay I’m not alone! At least that’s what I think you’re saying.
jagorev: Don’t forget Thomas Jefferson, the muslim terrorist who owned the Koran that Obama was sworn into the Senate on.
ronaldpagan:
I guess “Country Before Self” also extends to the immediate family. My mother as well, for some reason, has decided that no matter what, she can’t vote for Obama. This is because she “Doesn’t know enough about him.” Maybe I should stop talking to her. Hmmm…..
America -
Brick-Headed Baby Boomers. Fat Lazy Children with Gamer’s Thumb.
And the rest of us are in the middle - work-a-day stiffs paying for teh social security.
It’s no fucking wonder we have a global landlord.
MoodProcessor: People not voting for Obama because they “don’t know enough about him” are depressingly common. There’s this thing called RESEARCH. And I’m not talking sitting in a library for weeks on end, I’m talking turning off Fox News for 5 minutes and doing a quick Google search.
ronaldpagan: Well, what’s he supposed to do? Her announcement clearly indicated that she’d become a communis’ lesbo who would have aborted baby JC with the same trumpet that Gabriel had used to make the glorious annunciation of His conception. Fortunately, he heard from a neighbor that if he ignored her, she’d stop being gay and get busy producing sweet babies to that will be available in just a few short years to fight the RussIranians. Huzzah.
ronaldpagan:
Just like the issue with our obese children - America is fat and lazy, to the point that objective thought is too much effort. EFFORT! You mean I have to take time out of my busy day to think about my country, and maybe invest some time in it? That’s Un-Amurcun!
I am just confused as to where all the obese children are coming from. I am on a list serve for trial lawyers and received this inquiry:
“I have a client who wants to sue a buffet for discrimination against his 10 year old daughter. Apparently the child is on the bigger side and was charged full price for her meal despite being under the posted age limit for children. Does anyone have any experience with this or any guidance as to how to proceed?”
I welcome y’alls’ thoughts on appropriate responses.
“Hello, I am Jim Peterman and I’m a stupid moran.”
But then there’s:
“I don’t know. The whole thing just scares me,” Peterman said. “I’m almost starting to feel like the best choice is not voting at all.”
Yay, Jim! We love you, man. Do your duty and stay home. Really, butterfly ballots are lost on these people.
2goats: All the traffic will bear. If the traffic is on the hefty side, it can bear even more than thin traffic.
Well…at least Obama never left his CRIPPLED and DISFIGURED first gay lover. Also, he never called said first gay lover a cunt or a trollop. Well…maybe a trollop, but it was considered foreplay by both.
Reluctance to tackle Al-Qaeda, you must be joking. The Pakistani military spent the past week embroiled in North West Frontier Province fighting the Taliban and Al-Qaeda, at great loss financially and collaterally.
this country is doomed…which should lead to a hilarious twist ending! Not Shyamalon style either. More Deliverance. Still, Carlin would have enjoyed watching it go down.
LazloHollyfeld: Beautiful! Post more often!
MoodProcessor: The thing is, it is so easy to look up Barack Obama in Wikipedia while lying on your fat ass eating combos, so I don’t see what the problem is.
TGY: I liked J. Peterman better when he was writing inappropriately pretentious blurbs for overpriced preppy outfits.
Monsieur Grumpe: At least not yet…
If Barry were gay, there’d be a line of men waiting from Chicago to DC. For Michelle, that is.
Godless Liberal *: When I saw it in the paper this a.m, I got to the end of the opening para and could not force myself to follow the jump. It was too depressing.
2goats: there are so many things wrong with this moran’s inquiry one doesn’t know where to begin. Oh lord how I wish he or she had posted pictures with his inquiry…
“a gigantic plastic unicorn perched on a front porch and draped in an American flag.”
Nothing says patriotism more than having a plastic mystical animal draped in an American flag, right? And they’re calling Barry gay?
Boy, that article captures many of my complaints about a large part of Ohio. If the author mentioned bland, uninteresting food, he’s have pretty much covered it.
Terry: Now now, there’s a certain woman who lived near Dayton that made trips to Ohio pretty exciting for me, but… yeah, I’d say that McCain’s favorite internet tradition of outlandish email rumors is going to land his ass in the White House for 8 years, or as long as life support can sustain him, whichever comes first.
I drove through Findlay on Saturday. That Washington Post story makes me wish I had run somebody over.
How come all these “How High Gas Prices Are Hurting America” things sound like they’re secretly really awesome? Let’s review: Bitters who decided to all live 10 miles from the grocery store take it in the ass, Fewer cops on the prowl, obese fucks forced to exercise to get from place to place, and four day work weeks. How do I, the smug urbanite commuter cyclist who hates his job and likes to get high in public lose?
No, No Mr. Mugabe there are no hookers here, this is not that kind of union, you want the teachers union down the street.
2goats: This sort of thing usually doesn’t go to trial. It is usually sufficient to yell at the teenager managing the Shoney’s until he comps you the kid’s meal. Maybe even one of those bears…
ronaldpagan: All you need for Democrats to win in the South is for white evangelicals to dislike the Republican candidate (check) and high black turnout (likely). McCain will win Alabama, South Carolina and the border states, but Obama could easily win in Mississippi, Georgia, Louisiana, Virginia and/or North Carolina. The latest poll in Georgia is a tie (Bob Barr’s going to get a LOT of votes in the northern Atlanta suburbs).
RaptorAvatar: And less mowing in places that don’t need to be mowed in the first place. Let the wildflowers (aka weeds with good pr) grow.
SuperRounder: I bet there’d be two lines. Both for Michelle. Barry would just phone up Johnny Edwards.
floraway: INORITE?
“Sixty flags planted in one yard on Memorial Day; a living-room window painted red, white and blue; a Buckeye tree decorated with Christmas ornaments celebrating Americana; a gigantic plastic unicorn perched on a front porch and draped in an American flag.”
WIN.
I think there needs to be some sort of legislation passed before this here election: upon entering the voting booth, every voter should be asked if BHO is a muslim who doesn’t pledge allegiance to the US. If they say no, they can vote. If they do not, they will have to forfeit their right to vote for reasons of mass stupidity. It’s kinda like forcing people to do some homework before taking a test cause how are we going to trust those voters to have thought through things like the war, health care, and disappearing bees if they can’t even take the time to not listen to dumb-ass rumors they hear from Billy Bob at the local gun store. It’s just not fair to the rest of us. And, failing that, the next time somebody comes by their towns and asking them what concerns them, they should be denied the right to say “health care” or “the economy” because they could have dome something about it once again, but pissed it all away due to their inalienable right to not think.
Sorry….the coffee just kicked in and I feel the need for a rant.
hopeforbill: well, I hope it does not go to trial, because, so far, “lardbutt” is not a protected class.
“I’m 70 and retired and live on a street where everyone else is 70 and retired. We’ve lived here for 50 years and our street has stayed exactly the same, so why can’t everything else stay exactly the same as it was in the 50s? Keep it white, we don’t like them there darkies trying to move in down the street. Or the uppity darky running for president. I mean, I just don’t know what to think - I mean there are three newspapers saying he’s an honest, hard-working American citizen, but then my neighbor’s granddaughter’s best friend’s dog walker got a chain email that said his crazy extremist Christian-Muslim pastor raised him because his parents are still in Africa, where he was born, and I mean with a name like that he HAS to have ties to Osama Bin Laden, and I just don’t know if I should believe that or all the news stories I’ve seen. I guess I COULD do some research on my own, but I think I put more stock in what my neighbors are telling me. I don’t really like him, and this is a hard decision, so I think I just won’t vote at all. Yes, that’s the solution! Now excuse me, there’s a darky walking down the street, I have to go make sure he doesn’t steal my American flag out of my front yard.”
You know, I really HOPE that people who think internet chain letters are more reliable than actual research from books and newspapers stay home and don’t vote (not that I expect people who say they are scared of change to actually vote for someone whose platform is based on the idea of change).
Hey, Jim Boy, your friends are not “good people, smart people.” They are racist retards. And yes, they can be all wrong as is proven by the fact that, in fact, they are.
public schools cutting services is a slippery slope toward privatization…”why should my tax dollars pay for a school system that doesn’t even provide transportation for my child! Joe-Bob’s GRE Preparation Center only charges me $100/month and that fee includes a bus pass!”
and no, I’m not saying that the public schools should somehow do more with less. I’m saying that they should be better funded–do more with more.
anyway, maybe it’ll be good exercise for the fatties but it’ll be terrible for the poor ones who have no other way to get to school, thus remaining poor and ignorant…the cycle continues.
it’s always the(se) kids who suffer. somehow NASCAR, the “space program” and tanks in Iraq remain a priority and don’t have any trouble securing gasoline.