Wonkette
AMERICA’S WORST GOVERNOR CAUGHT HUMPING OLD PLAYMATE: Drunken lout and serial cheater Jim Gibbons took a break from ruining Nevada to get caught cheating on his soon-to-be ex-wife Dawn, again, in the parking lot of the Reno Rodeo. Stay classy, Jim. [AOL Political Machine]
How’d you like to be a divorce lawyer in that town?
“I held her hand when her child was born.” I am so borrowing that excuse!
But to be fair…if Gibbons is cheating on his wife with a member of the opposite sex and same species, who is above the age of consent, not a prostitute, and not related to him by blood, AND Mrs. Gibbons neither has cancer nor has been crippled by a car accident, and neither date rape drugs nor diapers were involved (as far as we know)…
then Gibbons in in the top 99th percentile of Republican politicians. Congrats, Jimmy, you’re the Republican of the year!
ronaldpagan: To be fair, very few former Playboy bunnies are not prostitutes, as far as I know…
graceless: True. But we aren’t 100% sure that Gibbons actually paid the woman for the liaison. After all, hold a woman’s hand while she’s giving birth and you can probably get into her pants for life. He’s still Republican of the Year unless we get some information about monetary transactions.
ronaldpagan: Point. Do we have any idea why he was there to hold her hand as she was giving birth? Or shall we hypothesize?
An elected official with a lower approval rating than President Ass-Hat is obviously a man of special talent. And he’s done it without starting a war with anyone other than his spouse. I stand in awe of this man.
What is with this dude and parking lots? Am I missing out on some untapped market outside the clubs?
ronaldpagan: Maybe Ms Durant was giving birth in the parking lot the other night and the gallant Governor was assisting her while she was in labor.
graceless: It was his baby. Now, if she was black, that would be something.
wheelie: Perhaps she was pregnant at the time of the alleged humping, and he was only trying to hasten her labor by tapping the fetus on its shoulder, as if to say, “Time to go!”
graceless: It’s one of those funny laws. Just like a ship’s captain can marry people, a Nevada governor is authorized to preside over any birth. Plus, he gets to choose the name if he wants.
In other Nevada news, the Paultards are
convening their own GOP convention, where presumably Paul will win by a landslide. So don’t give up hope - if they can just redo all the caucuses and primaries and whatnot in time, Ron Paul can still win this thing!
ThreeFingersNeat: Why, you sweet talker, you, I can’t believe you can’t get “action” in the traditional “markets”!
The stupids are taking over. Thank you Nevada. Thank you America.
ThreeFingersNeat:
Hate to point this out, but it looks like at least a portion of the parking lot market has been thouroughly tapped.
MoodProcessor: Correction - have taken
Godless Liberal *: Good thinking, he was being extra gallant in helping induce his lady friend. Aaww how sweet.
In fact he should have said, “If one thing takes the romance out of a friendship, it’s bringing on a birth. You can’t ever seduce a girl, once you’ve induced her.”
Anita Cocktail: It’s a marketing thing. The joke was supposed to be in the “untapped” part, but I’ll take what I can get.
Interesting sidenote- he was in my father’s Air Force Reserve unit, post-9/11. He was a drunk then, too.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens in Reno, however, is national news, bwahahaha!
Sadly there are many states where anyone with an “R” next to his name on a ballot will be elected over anyone with a “D” next to his name. Many voters are living in a fairy tale world woven by Grover Norquist propaganda in which the government that governs best is the government that is funded least, and the wisest counsel is that which is doled out by rednecks lacking in fancy “college degrees” but possessed of lots of good, honest “horse sense.”
Sit back, boys and girls, and watch the Republic collapse under Republican Idiocracy.
Serolf Divad: Horse sense? I say horse shit.
Jim Gibbons: The 2008 World Series of Poker Her champion!
No braclet for the achievement … but a colossal cock ring.
He “held her hand when the child was born”? What did he hold when the child was made?
hopeforbill:
Cheeks?
Serolf Divad:
More like Horse Scents.
(cue “That Smell”)
I cannot condone this comment thread.